Relationships are a funny thing. We love them, we love to be in them, but a lot of times we struggle in them. Our romantic relationship, our partnership, is one of the most important things in our life, and yet, it might seem it isn’t by how we treat it and prioritize it in our life… Sometimes our partner is lucky if they even get on the priority list… Specially during this time of year, when our plates are so full that we might feel we have less time to do more stuff in.
When we get so hectic with demands, responsibilities and managing ourselves, it is very easy for our relationship to take a hit…
And this doesn’t mean that it’s hopeless. That it can’t work. That it’ll never be back to normal or that we won’t ever crack the code.
This just means that we are experiencing the very normal ebb and flow that happens in relationships. Sometimes things are great, sometimes we go through a little slump.
It is during the down times that we have to be more intentional about getting ourselves back on track, so we don’t create more wear and tear, and more importantly so that we don’t create irreparable damage… When we neglect our partner and our relationship for too long, or put them through the ringer too roughly, is like taking a knife to our bond… Once severed, it is very difficult to put it back together…
When we experience disharmony and disconnection, it’s important we invest in regaining the harmony, the connection, the joy… And we do that through reparative initiatives to resolve any disagreements, to get on the same page, to show and get understanding, acceptance, empathy, and compassion, to make amends…
As we ride the ebb and flow, we expand with each code we crack, with every repair, with every realignment, with every recommitment. This is the magic of being in relationship. At the end of the day, we are in relationship for our own expansion… Our partner is our Life Partner, they are a part of our Journey and to be treated with the at most regard due that role…
The key in all this is that we consistently invest in our relationship, in our partnership, to create our dream relationship for our best experience and most expansion…
~ During the highs we invest in continuing our evolution and expansion, in nurturing and enriching our relationship, in taking it to the next level…
Our relationship is the vehicle through which we experience ourselves the most… Through our relationship we can explore, and expand, ourselves.
To not tap into this built in Journey Hack, and the Synergy that’s inherently part of our Union, is such a waste…
I offer that we take our relationship lightly-seriously for all that it has to offer us… And to do it justice, have our own back, and have the best Human Experience, that we tap into resources available to us to support us in our Journey.
In this episode, I have a delightful and empowering conversation with Victoria Sotelo, also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, about how to create a healthy, harmonious, and honoring ebb and flow in our long-term relationship with our Partner.
We discuss: how to repair when things get off track, what might get us off track and roadblocks that disrupt our connection, how to get unstuck, the importance of identifying our core needs and operating from our values, and activating a positive approach and state of being to show up compassionately and lovingly in our relationship. But as if that wasn’t wonderful enough, we discussed how to create a Relationship Vision and how to nurture the relationship during the holidays!
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Victoria Sotelo brings a heart of compassion and passionate energy for cultivating healthy Marriages and Sexual Intimacy to her clients. She practices from an integrative model, incorporating the Biological-Psychological-Social-& Spiritual aspects of her client’s lives. Her excellent listening skills and problem-solving methods, along with her clinical experience, position her as a therapist with a balanced approach. Victoria has lectured to groups and professionals on ways to deepen sexual intimacy, and improve the quality of life, both in marriage, family, and personal growth potential. Victoria holds an LMFT license in New York, New Jersey, and Florida. You can find her HERE.
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~~ Get our FREE 1-pg downloadableEnd-Of-Year and New-Year Planning Process (ENP Process)for establishing a shared life vision, creating a life and relationship plan, and starting the New Year with a New Relationship and New Your!
~~ Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership – Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership– Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast?
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Sometimes we overcomplicate what it takes to take ourselves and our relationship to the next level. We might think it’s hopeless, that it’s impossible, and that it’s too much work and either not worth it or that we can’t do it. We might think we have to do all the work because our partner doesn’t want to even talk about our relationship. We might feel stuck and alone.
But all that is not necessarily true! At some level you are choosing to experience your life and your relationship that way. And so you cocreate that experience with your partner… Don’t shoot the messenger.
All the psychobabble aside, suffice it to say that you can bypass all this heartache and headache and take a shortcut… That’s right, a shortcut. Why not? Who said we can’t make things easier for ourselves?
This shortcut has to do with changing your personal brand, including your image, to show up to your relationship and your life differently… Letting your brand lead the way, you’ll automatically shift your state, your mood, your energy and become more magnetic inspiring something different in your interactions…
In this episode, I have motivating and fun conversation with Personal Branding Expert, Tavia Sharp, on what is our personal brand, the impact in has on our relationship and our life, identifying when we need a brand refresh, what a brand refresh can do for us, how the refresh can rekindle romantical sparks in our relationship and change our dynamics, how to address fear or resistance to upgrades and changes, and how to use the holidays to start our refresh to set ourselves up to start the new year with a brand you us…
We also explore Tavia’s process for rebranding ourselves!
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Tavia Sharp is an Executive Image Consultant, Personal Branding Expert and Speaker with over 20 years of fashion industry experience designing for some of the top brands like Calvin Klein, Nautica and Macy’s. Her designs have even been featured on celebs like Drake, Ne-Yo, Chrissy Teigen and Emma Roberts in magazines like GQ & Sports Illustrated. After years working behind the scenes, Tavia discovered her true calling- to help ambitious entrepreneurs and executives discover their secret weapon and upgrade their online & offline image so that they can take their business and brand to the next level. From individualized consulting and styling services to seminars and workshops, Tavia brings her A-game to help clients solidify their personal & professional image to stand out, make an impact and magnetize premium opportunities. You can find her HERE.
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Get our FREE 1-pg downloadableEnd-Of-Year and New-Year Planning Process (ENP Process)for establishing a shared life vision, creating a life and relationship plan, and starting the New Year with a New Relationship and New Your!
~~ Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership – Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership– Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast?
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Even though we love our partner so much, we might still find that we fight or feel disconnected often… We might attribute this to flukes, poor communication skills, our partner’s attributes and imperfections, our sensitivities or triggers, or not being compatible and wondering about our commitment to the relationship… And there might be some truth to some or all of these… But there is also something else going on as well. Something that most partners don’t usually pay attention to. And that is how they are using their Core Masculine or Feminine Energies…
Gender aside, partners have both energies as human beings. And they inherently lean towards one more than the other at their core. Things got messed up for us with the women’s movement in that women had to take on more of their masculine traits and characteristics to survive and compete in a man’s world. Shunning and repressing their more feminine traits.
Our world hasn’t been valuing feminine characteristics like emotionality, expressiveness, sensitivity, compassion, empathy, nurturing, caring, intuition, creativity, flow, gentleness, helpfulness, collaboration, and such… When people show up with these traits, they are considered weak… So, women and other female identifying persons have adapted to using their masculine traits more: logical, reserved, disciplined, ambitious, planner, leader, assertive, aggressive, courageous, and such…
Why do we care about this? Because when both partners show up to an interaction, or to their relationship in general, with masculine energy, that’s what creates friction. That’s when they butt heads, disagree and fight. And that’s when the Core Masculine person in the relationship gets displaced, where they then become disengaged or distant. Creating the feeling of disconnection in the relationship…
To make matters worse, there is no attraction between two of the same core energies… Opposites are needed to create passion and be swept off our feet if our core is feminine and that’s what we desire.
In this episode, I have a wonderfully enlightening conversation with Women and Relationship Coach, Valerie Greene on how to use our Core Energies to create more harmony and passion in our relationship. We explore the differences between masculine and feminine energies, how to identify what energy we are operating from and how to distinguish when each is called for, what type of relationship gets created according to what energy we choose to show up with, that we can choose what kind of relationship we want to create, how to bring our feminine energy back online, and how we can turn our relationship around.
Additionally, we cover how to feel and expand our gratitude feels this holiday season.
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Valerie Greene is a unique relationship mentor, author, and speaker who has been helping women and couples attract, reignite, and sustain lasting love since 2005. A highly successful alternative to relationship therapy, Valerie facilitates a secure emotional connection— not just problem-solving or communication skills. She has been featured on many podcasts, summits, and shows. Valerie struggled in romantic relationships until she healed her own blocks to unconditional love, which in spired her to pursue numerous certifications in coaching, NLP, and emotional healing modalities. Now Valerie has an earned-secure attachment style and teaches others how to build secure attachment. She believes that love, passion, intimacy, and mutual support is everyone’s birth right and it’s never too late to heal and learn the skills of lasting love. You can find her HERE.
When your gratitude practice needs a little pick me up use romantical appreciation…
Regardless of what Gratitude Practice we might have, I’m pretty sure most of us don’t have appreciating differences in there! That’s too bad because this is what makes the world go around… If only we were more tolerant and appreciative of differences…
When it comes to our relationship appreciating differences is not just a nice thing to do, but a must. We are usually so different from our partner and is the differences and how we deal with them that cause conflict…
~ What if we were to reframe our differences as blessings, for they are…
~ What if we were to accept the differences for what they are and not as an attack or deficiency towards us…
~ What if we were to actually embrace and appreciate the differences as they provide us with needed contrast, opportunity for growth, and enrichment…
So, I say we shift how we tend to look at our partner and the things that might annoy us… And instead create a Romantical Appreciation List™…
Yep, create a list that captures the essence of your partner, how they are blessing in your Journey even when it doesn’t seem so, and all the nuances you love about them…
Now that’s an appreciation list!
If you feel stuck with this because you are struggling in your relationship, or just because, check out the podcast episode above. It showcases how partners might have opposing Core Masculine and Feminine Energies and therefore have opposing needs that contribute to conflict… Things can be absolutely wonderful when these are minded…
And, check out the Integration Experience below for the in depth, but simple and yet powerful and impactful, 3 Dimensions of Appreciation protocol to help you along… Shifting how to appreciate our partner, shifts our dynamics rekindling loving vibes…
Set yourself up for a truly grateful Thanksgiving!
Happy Appreciating!
JUST FOR YOU
Embrace 3 Dimension of Appreciation with ease!
Check out November’s Integration Experience ~ Available in Recording! ~
Broaden Your Gratitude Practice, Rekindle Loving Vibes – A gratitude practice brings along a multitude of benefits for ourselves, our relationship, and the world at large… Ranging from increasing resilience and improving mental health to engendering collaboration and peace. We tend to focus on this during the holidays and more specially around Thanksgiving, but by having such a narrow focus we are cheating ourselves of this super practice’s gifts. We can make it easier to do this practice on a consistent basis, by learning more about its benefits and broadening its definition and application. And, by applying it specifically to our relationship for a transformative effect… Embracing our 3 Dimensions of Appreciation Protocol does the trick! Access it HERE!
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Discounted for Thanksgiving for ONLY $15 per month, until 11/30/24 – use code: Thanksgiving) Learn more below and Get Enrolled HERE!
RESOURCES
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Get our FREE 1-pg downloadableConnecting for Change Guidelines for creating a strong partnership with your partner and a life you love!
~~ Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership – Transformational content and experiences subscription (only $15 per month through 11/30! Code: Thanksgiving) Success Membership– Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast?
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine.
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
It is very easy to neglect our relationship and our partner, if we are not intentional about showing love, giving care, and investing in all the enriching ways… We live in a world where work is the priority… We spend more time working than we do taking care of our personal life and sharing time with our loved ones… The grind and the rat race are still very much alive. I had hoped that the pandemic would have made a larger impact in this regard. But old habits, social constructs and a deeply ingrained systems will obviously require a more sustained, compassionate, and cooperative approach to change… In the meantime, it is up to us to safeguard our bond and our relationship from the onslaught of life’s demands…
It is up to us to make a concerted effort, investment, in prioritizing our partner and our relationship. When we are not intentional the tentacles of chaos and other demands have free reign to reach into every crevice with an ounce of energy and snatch it up… Because of our programming and because of the world we live in, we allow this to happen. Other things appear more important in the moment to moment, until we are zapped and have nothing else to give.
But making a conscious and intentional decision to set up our routines, days, weeks, and months in a ways that build in the space, the time, the energy conservation, and mechanisms for having time for each other, for being resourced, for being present and available, and for being conscious and attuned, allows us to really be in relationship and enjoy our connection.
Going about our life and our relationship this way, allows for the Us to not only survive, but also thrive… It allows us to focus on what is important and to have the time and the energy for it. And, most importantly, it doesn’t allow for the rest of life to get in the way and wreak havoc.
When we do this reset and Alignment, we tap into the synergy inherent in our relationshipand are then better able to utilize it as the Life Partnership it is meant to be. It is our rock, our haven, our source of joy and so much more. It elevates it to its rightful place from which we can draw what we need to have our amazing life adventure and best Human Experience…
Embracing this relationship enrichment mindset and approach ensures our love is protected, nurtured, expanded, and everlasting… This is the abundance available to us if we just tune in and choose our partner everyday…
Being aware of how our current reality sets us up for the grind and disconnect, and how our systems reinforce separateness, competition, and lack, allows us to make different choices than if we blindly go along. And being proactive about collaborating in not allowing the machine to win, while being compassionate to those still under its spell, makes for an easier transition into more harmonious and joyful living.
Together we can conquer all…
In today’s episode, I have an enlightening and informative conversation with Dr. Jeffrey Dunne about the concept of interconnectedness, unity consciousness, and implications for a more harmonious and loving relationship and a more sustainable future…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It is not uncommon for relationships to experience an intimacy or sex drought. Where the partners are just not being as intimate as they would normally prefer. There is usually one partner that expresses less interest, but it can happen where both are just not into it. The partners might have different reasons for the lack of desire and interest. And they most likely have different libidos, desire levels, and preferences for timing, frequency, and duration of their physically intimate moments as well as what they entail… In other words, what kind of sex they like to have. It is a wonder that we even make babies, but that’s a different topic…
There is much intricacy in each of these factors making each couple unique in their experience and what kind of relationship they create. And even within the couple, the partners have very different experiences and ideas from each other about what is going on… Not for nothing this is a very sensitive, delicate, and complex situation for partners to address and be able to change.
The uniqueness of each partner in-and-of-itself plays a significant role. Two unique individuals coming together to create a joint life is no easy feat. All the differences that made the match of the partners so special in the first place now make an elaborate undertaking to align and synchronize for optimal bliss within the relationship…
The richness and gloriousness of what is a couple, and a relationship, gets lost on most people. There is so much going on that meets the eyes, and even more underneath it all.
Couples are super special. They are the coming together of two people to create a greater whole, a much larger One. This whole, the relationship is the vehicle through which we navigate and live our life. It is imperative that we take care of it so we can have a wonderful Journey…
What does this mean for our connection, intimacy, and sex life?
~ This means that we can’t allow ourselves to get sucked into our negativity bias, into our limiting believes and scripts, into righteousness, into poor communication hygiene and habits, into our reactions and defensive patterns, into complacency and denial, into competition, comparison and tit-for-tat. That we are mindful and intentional about how we do ourselves- who we choose to be and how we choose to show up.
Partners are on the same team! They are allies. Yet they might fall prey to seeing and treating each other as the enemy. This just compounds the difficulties and disconnect they might be experiencing…
~ This means that we choose to address anything that is getting in the way from our most epic relationship and love affair with our partner. That we choose to get medical attention and other services for anything physical or emotional affecting our health, wellbeing, and everything else.
~ This means that we address the circumstances affecting our relationship, our connection, our intimacy, our libido and our passion.
~ This means that we address any relationship issues or concerns, anything we are fighting about or that gets us, any egoic patterns, any relationship patterns, and anything that keeps us from getting along, getting on the same page, connecting deeply and meaningfully, from having the best sex, from really having fun with our partner, from creating the strongest partnership…
~ This means that we give some serious, and some playful, thoughts to our purpose, the meaning of our life, the kind of life we want to live, the type of human we want to be, the kind of legacy we want to impart, the kind of relationship we want to be a part of to help us sort through all this and enjoy the process…
I offer to not get hang up in the weeds of what is going on with your intimacy… I offer to take a larger view of your situation and how everything interconnects… You might be surprised as to what comes up to tweak to help all the dominos fall into place… All the above becomes so much easier and a pleasure to mitigate, address, deconstruct, and even transcend…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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