8 PreMarital Topics to Discuss Before You Say YES (Ep.37)

by Emma Viglucci

People start relationships because they are interested in having a relationship. They go through a checklist of sorts to vet each other at its onset. What they fail to do is to deepen their assessment as they progress in the relationship to ensure they are and stay aligned in creating a mutually satisfying relationship. And to intentionally work on creating a relationship they love.

A satisfying, radiant and successful relationship doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intentionality and nurturing. There are key relationship and life areas that couples need to align on for the relationship to flourish.

And this is separate from doing their emotional dynamics work… Couples struggle in relationship because their programming interact with each other creating funky relationship patterns.

Partners need to align and be intentional about the business of life, so their emotional programs don’t trip up over the mundane and practical aspects of life.

So, if partners get ahead by identifying and getting on the same page about what they desire and want to create, there is less stuff to have friction and power struggle on as they go.

Just focusing on relationship milestones and moving things along is not enough to create a strong partnership and lasting love.

There are 8 specific relationship, marital, topics that partners need to align on to ensure a smoother ride.

8 PreMarital Topics

Now, regardless of the partners’ ages, how long they’ve been together, if they are just dating, living together, or recently married, these topics need to be explored to make sure they are on the same page about their needs, expectations, and desires.  

1. Setting Expectations – What feels safe, supportive, and respectful

This has to do with setting boundaries, being accountable, owing ourselves, and exploring and sharing expectations so both partners know where they stand and interact accordingly. It includes ways to protect your bond and connection.

2. Sharing Daily Life – How to manage responsibilities as a team

This has to do with how to manage responsibilities as a team, taking on a divide and conquer approach for efficiency and productivity, and working to each other’s strengths. It’s not about dividing the load 50/50 but about finding a balance that works for both.

3. Creating Financial Freedom – What financial trust looks like between you

This has to do with how to manage your financial life together, how to take care of the money management and how to establish and work towards shared goals. Building transparency and partnership in create a secure, strong and successful financial future.

4. Building Intimacy – What helps you feel connected and close

This has to do with creating a deeply meaningful and satisfying emotional and physical intimacy. It has to do with balancing both partners’ seemingly opposite needs around connection, togetherness and separateness, and spontaneous and responsive sexual styles.

5. Making Family Decisions – Whether kids are part of your vision or not

This has to do with exploring what kind of family you want to create. Are children part of that equation, how many, and timing of having them. This also includes exploring your parenting style preferences, how you want to raise them, and what kind of life you want to give them.

6. Creating Fun & Joy – What keeps your relationship alive

This has to do with how each like to have fun, your interests, and preferences for activities, outings and doing leisure time. And, how you have fun together, create shared experiences and memories and enjoy each other’s company. The key is to create shared interests…

7. Balancing Life & Partnership – Careers, stress, family, and everything in between

This has to do with how you recharge, take care of yourselves, take care of the business of life and support each other’s dreams, ambitions and desires. It has to go with having each other’s back and finding the sweet spot for doing life and still investing enough in the relationship.

8. Clarifying Your Shared Future Vision – What you’re building and why it matters

This has to do with identifying what kind of life you want to create, what kind of lifestyle you want to live, how you want to create your shared life, what legacy you want to leave behind.

By exploring and getting on the same page about your ideas, preferences and expectations, you remove any ambiguity and confusion down the line. These topics help you address key components of creating a shared life to ensure this is something you want to do together and how to go about it.

Aligning on what kind of relationship and life you want to create and experience, prevents unnecessary friction from tripping you up later. Smoothing these things out early, not only helps you decide if this is something to take to the next level, but also get ahead so you set up your new life together right from the start.

This frees you up to focus on addressing the deeper more meaningful parts of your relationship in the future, without wasting energy, effort and bandwidth on sorting the practical, relational and emotional in one swoop. This is how you set yourselves up to start your marriage right, and ensure lasting love.

I invite you to have conversations with your partner to explores these topics, regardless of where you are in your relationship. Anytime you learn each other more, you deepen your connection and make your relationship stronger. Here is to a beautiful future together, and a happily ever after.

Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.

Episode Transcript

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Mentioned Inside And More

FREE 1-Pg Downloadable: How to share responsibilities

FREE 1-Pg Downloadable: How to Date Your Partner

Episode: How to Be Partners in Life

Episode: Sexy, Simple and Super Generous Money Management

Episode: Best Practices for a Happy, Healthy and Financially Successful Marriage

Episode: Legal Matters of the Heart from Prenup to Divorce

Episode: Keeping the Love and Spark Alive

Episode: Libido Differences, Rekindling Desire, Sexual Satisfaction

Episode: Creating More Harmony and Passion in Your Relationship

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