It is very easy to neglect our relationship and our partner, if we are not intentional about showing love, giving care, and investing in all the enriching ways… We live in a world where work is the priority… We spend more time working than we do taking care of our personal life and sharing time with our loved ones… The grind and the rat race are still very much alive. I had hoped that the pandemic would have made a larger impact in this regard. But old habits, social constructs and a deeply ingrained systems will obviously require a more sustained, compassionate, and cooperative approach to change… In the meantime, it is up to us to safeguard our bond and our relationship from the onslaught of life’s demands…
It is up to us to make a concerted effort, investment, in prioritizing our partner and our relationship. When we are not intentional the tentacles of chaos and other demands have free reign to reach into every crevice with an ounce of energy and snatch it up… Because of our programming and because of the world we live in, we allow this to happen. Other things appear more important in the moment to moment, until we are zapped and have nothing else to give.
But making a conscious and intentional decision to set up our routines, days, weeks, and months in a ways that build in the space, the time, the energy conservation, and mechanisms for having time for each other, for being resourced, for being present and available, and for being conscious and attuned, allows us to really be in relationship and enjoy our connection.
Going about our life and our relationship this way, allows for the Us to not only survive, but also thrive… It allows us to focus on what is important and to have the time and the energy for it. And, most importantly, it doesn’t allow for the rest of life to get in the way and wreak havoc.
When we do this reset and Alignment, we tap into the synergy inherent in our relationshipand are then better able to utilize it as the Life Partnership it is meant to be. It is our rock, our haven, our source of joy and so much more. It elevates it to its rightful place from which we can draw what we need to have our amazing life adventure and best Human Experience…
Embracing this relationship enrichment mindset and approach ensures our love is protected, nurtured, expanded, and everlasting… This is the abundance available to us if we just tune in and choose our partner everyday…
Being aware of how our current reality sets us up for the grind and disconnect, and how our systems reinforce separateness, competition, and lack, allows us to make different choices than if we blindly go along. And being proactive about collaborating in not allowing the machine to win, while being compassionate to those still under its spell, makes for an easier transition into more harmonious and joyful living.
Together we can conquer all…
In today’s episode, I have an enlightening and informative conversation with Dr. Jeffrey Dunne about the concept of interconnectedness, unity consciousness, and implications for a more harmonious and loving relationship and a more sustainable future…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It is not uncommon for relationships to experience an intimacy or sex drought. Where the partners are just not being as intimate as they would normally prefer. There is usually one partner that expresses less interest, but it can happen where both are just not into it. The partners might have different reasons for the lack of desire and interest. And they most likely have different libidos, desire levels, and preferences for timing, frequency, and duration of their physically intimate moments as well as what they entail… In other words, what kind of sex they like to have. It is a wonder that we even make babies, but that’s a different topic…
There is much intricacy in each of these factors making each couple unique in their experience and what kind of relationship they create. And even within the couple, the partners have very different experiences and ideas from each other about what is going on… Not for nothing this is a very sensitive, delicate, and complex situation for partners to address and be able to change.
The uniqueness of each partner in-and-of-itself plays a significant role. Two unique individuals coming together to create a joint life is no easy feat. All the differences that made the match of the partners so special in the first place now make an elaborate undertaking to align and synchronize for optimal bliss within the relationship…
The richness and gloriousness of what is a couple, and a relationship, gets lost on most people. There is so much going on that meets the eyes, and even more underneath it all.
Couples are super special. They are the coming together of two people to create a greater whole, a much larger One. This whole, the relationship is the vehicle through which we navigate and live our life. It is imperative that we take care of it so we can have a wonderful Journey…
What does this mean for our connection, intimacy, and sex life?
~ This means that we can’t allow ourselves to get sucked into our negativity bias, into our limiting believes and scripts, into righteousness, into poor communication hygiene and habits, into our reactions and defensive patterns, into complacency and denial, into competition, comparison and tit-for-tat. That we are mindful and intentional about how we do ourselves- who we choose to be and how we choose to show up.
Partners are on the same team! They are allies. Yet they might fall prey to seeing and treating each other as the enemy. This just compounds the difficulties and disconnect they might be experiencing…
~ This means that we choose to address anything that is getting in the way from our most epic relationship and love affair with our partner. That we choose to get medical attention and other services for anything physical or emotional affecting our health, wellbeing, and everything else.
~ This means that we address the circumstances affecting our relationship, our connection, our intimacy, our libido and our passion.
~ This means that we address any relationship issues or concerns, anything we are fighting about or that gets us, any egoic patterns, any relationship patterns, and anything that keeps us from getting along, getting on the same page, connecting deeply and meaningfully, from having the best sex, from really having fun with our partner, from creating the strongest partnership…
~ This means that we give some serious, and some playful, thoughts to our purpose, the meaning of our life, the kind of life we want to live, the type of human we want to be, the kind of legacy we want to impart, the kind of relationship we want to be a part of to help us sort through all this and enjoy the process…
I offer to not get hang up in the weeds of what is going on with your intimacy… I offer to take a larger view of your situation and how everything interconnects… You might be surprised as to what comes up to tweak to help all the dominos fall into place… All the above becomes so much easier and a pleasure to mitigate, address, deconstruct, and even transcend…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Sometimes we might wonder how much our partner actually loves us, and it at all… This is not an uncommon thought when we are having relationship issues, when we are fighting a lot, and even if we are just triggered… Our bond, our connection and our love is that vulnerable…
We have to remember that our partner and our relationship are happening in our head… As weird of a concept as that is, and as much as we can argue for the existence of them in our external world, our experience of them is still internal…
This is good news and a super empowering concept… This means that as soon as we choose to look at our partner and our relationship differently that we have a different partner and a different relationship! This is how we create new beginningsas well…
Isn’t this incredible? Let’s test it out…
~ Have some loving thoughts about your partner ~ Think about all the wonderful qualities about them ~ Notice what an amazing human they are ~ Recognize that they are also on a Journey ~ Realize that they are perfectly imperfect and a perfect match to you in your Journey…
Think some more along these lines.
Be grateful. Be joyful. Be so happy to have them in your life…
Notice how you now see your relationship and your partner in a better light…
I know that this is harder to do when we not getting along, when we are fighting or when we are struggling in our relationship, and specially when we are triggered even if everything is otherwise copacetic.
This reinforces the concept further of how susceptible we are to our feeble mind and the importance of not taking ourselves on a ride… Not taking ourselves too seriously. Not believing everything we think. Not getting sabotaged by our feelings, which flow from our thinking…
Our whole life is a construction! We are in charge of what we construct. Including the partner and relationship we have…
Realize this – if you have awesome thoughts, you have awesome feelings and therefore awesome actions, responses, and presence… This invites, seduces, induces your partner to reciprocate…
Yes, we can do all the nurturing, loving and romantical behaviors but we go much further when we do the internal loving first…
In today’s episode, I share how to recognize and address the culprits to low desire, transform your relationship dynamics that keep you stuck, and do all the tending and loving gestures to keep the love and the spark alive. It’s a must episode!
Want to create a stronger, deeper, more meaningful, and nourishing connection with your partner?
Check out our upcoming groundbreaking event for a Valentine’s Day Experience
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Much can be said with a four-letter word! Love… There is so much encompassed in that lovely word and concept… Love can be considered a noun, a verb, an adjective and even an adverb… There are many kinds of love depending on its context, and even within the same context… And, love is an emotion, a feeling, an experience, a decision, an action, and a state of Being… It is said God is Love… Any of these views or usage convey its Essence… There isn’t any other word or concept that is as coherent, complete, and Unifying…
Isn’t this such a gorgeous idea to contemplate and play with? Let me tell you, it’s just grand… I find it so fascinating, illuminating, and downright inspiring, nourishing and enlivening!
~ When we allow ourselves the opportunity to ponder the bigger questions in life ~ When we allow ourselves the luxury of exploring concepts that are esoteric in nature ~ When we allow ourselves the gift of other possible views and perspectives
… We allow and realize ourselves into a grander life experience…
For you see we tend to keep a very narrow, outdated, and limiting perspective and approach to how we understand life and go about creating the relationship and life we desire. We let our programming run the show…
This is why we have the painful, history/pattern-repeating, conflictual experience of the world and interactions with our partner…
But what if we were to open up to new possibilities, to a new reality… To the idea that Love is just magnificent and can be found literally everywhere…
The thing is that we love to argue for our limitations and our smallness, for the reality that we know through our senses which is completely subjective anyway depending on how we perceive and process information…
There is no one true reality as we think we know it… We can make a case for anything. We can connect whatever dots we want to make any case we want. We truly are the creators of our reality…
What if we were to let this sink in and chose to expand our perspectivefor the possibility of a more peaceful, harmonious, joyful, and loving experience? How would you go about expanding your perspective?
~ We’d let go of preconceived notions ~ We’d let go of stubbornness, judgement and control ~ We’d let go of righteousness ~ We’d let go of polarizing and binary thinking ~ We’d let go of exertion, separatism, divisiveness, manipulation, competition, assertion, exploitation, subjugation, domination and the like…
We have created toxic and destructive ways of living, but we don’t have to continue to subscribe, support and engage in these. We have a choice. One that we have to continue to make when we get seduced back into our old ways, when the programs demonstrate their hold on us…
We take notice, realign, and course correct as needed.
And, we’d do this over and over and over until we deprogrammed as much as possible… Until we are no longer showing up as a habit of our old limited/ing perception and programs… Until we realize our new reality… Until we see Love everywhere and feel the love all the time… Until we Become Love itself…
At the end of the day, this is as simple as making a decision, transcending our noisy mind, and connecting with our heart. And it can happen instantaneously… This is the Art of Loving…
Wishing you much love this Valentine’s Day and Always!
Want to create a stronger, deeper, more meaningful, and nourishing connection with your partner?
Check out our upcoming groundbreaking event for a Valentine’s Day Experience
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
You know how when you fly, they say that in case of an emergency to first put on your oxygen mask and then assist others? Well, the same concept applies to the rest of our life… We have to take care of ourselves for us to be in good shape to be in relationship with our partner, and others…
When we embrace a self-love practice, in which there is a huge component of self-care, then we activate our authentic self, we create flow, we nourish and enliven ourselves. Now this is a Best Self… This self can have amazing energy, insights, patience, compassion, creativity and all the rest to be the best partner and lover. When we are unhealthy, weak, stressed, overwhelmed, tired and such, we don’t make very good company…
~ It is our job to make sure we are healthy and well.
~ It is our job we show up with our Best Self and we be the Best Partner.
~ It is our job to make sure we continue to evolve and elevate…
Upshift…
To this end, how we do everything matters. From the moment we are aware we are awake, and we choose our first thoughts of the day, to how we wrap up our day and settle down for a good night sleep, all have an impact on our health and wellness. On how resourced we are to be able to show up with our Best Self…
When we bang around life and are noisy and scattered and tapped out, we are not fresh, available, and able to have meaningful, nourishing, and enlivening interactions. We just don’t make good company… And this is when we insist on interacting with our partner and then wonder how come we get prickly, triggered, and sucked into a less than ideal exchange or even a full-blown fight.
To be a loving partner, and create a loving relationship, we first have to give ourselves love… To have a wonderful relationship, we have to clean up our routines and habits so we can properly show up to our relationship.
How about we slow down a bit and become a lot more intentional about how we take care of ourselves? This is where having more love in our life starts.
Watch the video to learn how to uplevel your relationship with food and step up your self-care!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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