How to reprogram yourself

How to reprogram yourself

Back from our major trip, a lot of driving, and much sightseeing. The girls trip was conceived and designed by our daughter, Vanessa, with the goal of seeing major cities along the way. Our excursion took us down the East Coast to Jacksonville, FL, across to New Orleans, LA, up to Cleveland, OH, and back across to NJ.

With a few one-nighters along the way, a multiple-day stay in New Orleans, and the 4th of July in Nashville, we did 3,400 miles through 15 states and 13 cities. Woohoo! I feel very accomplished after this. LOL

The trip in itself wasn’t extremely long, but because of the driving exertion, suspension from the everyday, and hypnotic roads, I feel I’ve been away a very long time… It was quite an experience, lending itself to new perspectives, renewed energy and continued ZenBrain… One of many fun spots included visiting the Audubon Park in New Orleans. What a magical and inspiring spot…

Labyrinth, Audubon Park, New Orleans, LA

Tree of Life, Audubon Park, New Orleans, LA

I’m so grateful to find places like this on my Journey, whether through a road trip or around the corner. These are the types of places that suspend noise, judgement, resentment, shaming, and the like. These are the types of places that assist in our Reprogramming…

You might be aware that we go through life with our usual view of the world, our mindset and our scripts. These narratives and believes when played over and over continue the running of our programming. This is not a bad thing if we intentionally create positive narratives that serve us…

The problem is that our narratives are usually colored and influenced by well-meaning others operating from a less than inspired, guided and authentic place themselves… Narratives created by default and operating never having been cleaned up, or without ongoing tending, just perpetuate, actually worsen, our dissatisfying status quo.

They provide convoluted and defensive logic, negative reinforcements, and a downright sabotaging approach to life…

For us to have satisfying and successful relationships and a rewarding and meaningful life, we have to tend to our narrative. We have to clean up our view of the world, our beliefs, our meaning systems, our scripts, and our thought patterns. Leaving this untamed, dark, and dirty (like I like to say) is a dangerous way to live our life. We are pretty much signing off on having an unsatisfying experience at the end of the day…

This is why I so love Self-care that includes Mindfulness Practices because this is exactly what they provide. They provide a respite from the noise, the usual chaotic, negative and defensive thinking, and undermining approach. They provide a way to bypass the “programming” allowing us to connect with our core, authenticity, and Light.

When we do this frequently we reprogram ourselves… and start operating from a cleaner, more authentic and inspired place more consistently. This is what I’ve been calling ZenBrain. The experience of a sustained and ongoing peaceful and authentic feeling is just truly Divine. I wish this for you.

I’m super excited that every week more clients share they are incorporating a Mindfulness Practice into their routine. The progress and changes in their Journey is noticeably different once they do this… It is truly amazing to witness…

The Mindfulness Practice can include anything that resonates for us, like visiting and experiencing gorgeous and peaceful places I described above, meditating daily, gratitude journaling, coloring mandalas, anything that is hypnotic, quieting, and allows you to connect with your Higher Self, the core of you… From this place there is no funky program running the show!

It’s up to you how your relationships feel and what your life looks like every day. It’s up to you to shed the programming and live your life from your authentic Self, from Light and Love. And what a life this would be!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Reprogramming!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

It is imperative that you integrate a Mindfulness Practice into your routine!

Assess your Mindfulness Quotient and then play with the options below to become more Mindful…

  1. Do Guided Mindfulness Meditation, Transcendental Meditation
  2. Listen to binaural beats frequencies, sounds of nature, Tibetan singing bowls, Tibetan flute
  3. Keep journal of gratitude, positive aspects, letting go
  4. Color Mandalas / Mindfulness Drawings
  5. Intentionally knit, drive, walk, swim, dance, hike, and such
  6. Be in nature
  7. Do deep muscle relaxation, breathing exercises, body scans
  8. Participate in Mindfulness or Silence Retreats
  9. Practice Yoga, Qigong, Tai Chi
  10. Open your heart, practice compassion

Here are two great resources to get you started:

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

Have a Summer Bucket List!

Have a Summer Bucket List!

I’m still on the theme of Milking the Summer… LOL I had this fantastic experience when checking my google email social tab not long ago. It was bombarded with Summer treats of all sorts. Too much email can be annoying, but the Summer theme made reviewing mine rewarding. I found some pretty cool treasures in there from Pinterest.

Yes, you guess it. This included a barrage of Summer Bucket Lists. How fun!!

So, why not? I’m starting a compilation of fun Summer activities, outings, experiences and delights to inspire you in case you are looking for some ideas:

  1. Picnic, BBQ, cookout, clambake, dining alfresco
  2. Lemonade, iced-tea, pinacolada, sangria, mojito, margarita, mimosas
  3. Icecream, slushies, floats, milk-shakes, popsicles, frozen chocolate covered fruit
  4. Smores, zeppolas, pies, popcorn, trifles, funnel cake
  5. Botanical garden, butterfly garden, zoo, aquarium, amusement park, water park, fair, carnival, festival, outdoor concert, antiquing, labyrinth walking, drive-in movie, arcade, art show
  6. Hang gliding, rock climbing, hot air balloon riding, horseback riding, quad riding, water skiing, white water rafting, cannoning, snorkeling sailing, jet skiing, deep sea fishing, camping, paint-ball, ziplining
  7. Fly a kite, watch fireworks, garden, catch fireflies, hike, bike, hold a garage sale, watch sunsets, watch sunrises, star gaze, have an outdoor slumber party, paint / draw / color outdoors, outdoor yoga
  8. Chilling on a park bench, on a hammock, on porch rocking chair, on a swing, on a lounge chair, on a beach chair, on the grass, on the sand, by a campfire
  9. Build a treehouse, fort, bike-ramp, sandcastle, shed, workbench, easel
  10. Do a cannonball, run in the sprinklers, use the watersides, have a water balloon fight, swimming in any body of water, dance in the rain, make-out in the rain
  11. Collect seashells, rocks, sand, flowers (dry and scrapbook)
  12. Play board games, do a 1000 piece puzzle, learn to knit, make a homemade pizza, plant an indoor herb garden
  13. Get your palm, aura, chakras, cards read
  14. Make it a mission to visit: national parks, different cuisine restaurants, museums, fruit picking farms, farmer’s markets, beaches, playgrounds, wineries, monuments, tourist attractions
  15. Color mandalas, journal, meditate, start a gratitude journal, play the Tibetan flute as ambient music, get Tibetan singing bowls

Pick any that grab your attention and add to your repertoire. Would love to hear any treasures on your bucket list!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below!

Happy Bucketing!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Do create your Summer Bucket List!

Highlight the must not miss items and stay focused on activities, outing, experiences and treats that make your heart sing.

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:  Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

How to make the most of Summer!

How to make the most of Summer!

With Summer just around the corner, the school year completed for us, and a major dent made on my goals for the year, I’m turning my attention for now to more leisure, fun and adventures. 😉

How was your half of the year so far? What can you celebrate? How are you structuring and planning on enjoying the Summer? Yeah, yeah, you might have already planned your vacation or trips and enrolled your children in camps, but how will you “milk” the summer?

This is an important aspect of life… Even our “down-time” is over scheduled and packed… I’ve heard crazy plans from people like shuttling themselves from location to location for weeks on end without even making stops at home. Of sustaining intense long-day work weeks to squeeze in long weekend trips.

Of having a ton of personal and home projects in the works. And such… These sound good and fun, but usually the end result is missing the forest for the tree. The goal is to reboot, reset, recharge, realign, not to run rugged where you “need a vacation because of your vacation”…

The goal to reconnect with our Self, is to allow for different flow, to synchronize with our loved ones, to regroup on our path, to realign with our values, to tap into our creativity and inspiration, to access the Innovator in us… 

How can this happen if there isn’t a moment to “feel”, to “listen”, to “dream”?

What does this mean for you? What is your Summer Philosophy™?  Take this weekend to ponder on this and even run it by others. It’s interesting to hear what is happening out there. I find that people are usually completely overschedule and overbooked, or they haven’t given it much thought and are living their lives by default… What camp are you in?

If you are overscheduled and overbooked – even with “fun” stuff. Take a look and be radical about removing things from your experience. You’ll find that the yummy stuff happens in the in-between…

If you haven’t planned much or given it much thought. You are probably in better shape than the category of people above. It’s challenging to switch gears, slow down, let go, and Be… You have the opportunity to start with a fairly blank canvas… Don’t just add stuff to it… Be intentional about it.

This is your opportunity to pamper and honor your Self. Get in touch with what is important to you and what gives you pleasure. Sprinkle related activities or experiences into your lifestyle for the Summer. Make it a goal to Enjoy your Self…

If you are in the middle. Good for you! Just make sure what you put in place and what you didn’t, is by choice and design and that you are really and truly serving yourself, and your loved ones.

Summer is an untapped built-in resource in our life… Why not “milk it” for all it can provide? Use the Summer as a catalyst to Shift…, and catapult you in making the changes you’ve desired. Slow and steady wins the race… 

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Milking!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Pick a Treasure activity, outing, experience or trip to add to your Summer Fun.

Make this a Summer to remember…

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

How focusing can save your relationship

How focusing can save your relationship

If you are a growth and achievement oriented kind of human, I’m sure you are always looking for how to do things better, and how to improve everything you do and everything around you. Right? I know I’m like that. I’m constantly focused on evolution, expansion and growth.

My profession makes complete sense for me in that I help couples and individuals improve how they do themselves and each other (pun intended LOL). I help them continue to grow, develop, and evolve as individuals. I help them have better interactions with each other, and others. I help them create the relationship and life they desire.

In our work together, I make sure we don’t get hang up on the problems and what doesn’t work… I have a strict rule of not allowing the partners to beat on each other. I have a strict rule for looking for positives and things to appreciate. I have a strict rule for focusing on personal accountability and contribution…

This creates an amazingly safe and fun space for the partners to address, processes, explore, co-create and implement to their hearts’ desire. It’s a privilege and honor to witness their Journey.

I often find that initially in our work partners focus on everything that sucks and how much their partner sucks… They lost sight of the other’s, and usually their own, awesomeness… They lost sight of what works, their attraction, and Why they are together in the first place… Their approach is to have the other change and to fix problems. This is the approach that doesn’t work when we are trying to create the relationship we desire.

There is another approach that doesn’t work, but it’s much less obvious and possibly keeps partners stuck in the name of working on the relationship (something to watch out for when in a therapeutic relationship as well…). And, that is of focusing on the solution…

Implementing solutions in and of itself doesn’t work. If it did people wouldn’t need therapy / coaching. You are smart. You can think through a problem. You can figure stuff out. Then how come change doesn’t happen or hold?

For starters, we need to focus on Why we want the solution… This is driven by our values… When we identify, focus and flow from our values life becomes much easier… When we focus on the why as opposed to the what and the how, we remove resistance and create flow… This is how we create what we desire. It can’t be forced into existence…

When we focus on what is important to us, the rest is irrelevant. It actually doesn’t even register… Literally! Watch this for an audacious lesson on focusing!!

So, when we focus on what we like, what we appreciate, what we enjoy about our partner we are reprogramming ourselves to see the positive and not the negative, and therefore to not be impacted by the negative… How about that? Give it try and see how fast things turn around!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below!

Happy Focusing!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Identify your 5 top values…

Use these as a lens as you review what areas need more TLC in your life…

Use these to cut out miscellaneous activities, commitments, belongings, and such in your life…

Use these to stay focused on what is important to you, and to ignore the rest…

Have a Gorilla in the Middle Approach™ to your life!

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

What makes us happy?

What makes us happy?

It’s a quiet and cozy kind of day, except for the howling winds outside, as I write this. Feeling super blessed and inspired with current projects, the people in my life, and the prospect of Spring being just around the corner. This makes me Happy.

I was listening to a Tony Robbins recording the other day that so resonated and reinforced concepts I teach, that I made a mental note to write about the powerful message again. It’s interesting how the teaching of the Masters, Mentors, and Teachers all begin to blend after a while… The message I feel inspired to share about can also be found in the work I recently reference, The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.

What makes us Happy? Once upon a time, I used to believe that the pursuit of happiness was frivolous. That people looking for shortcuts in life were lazy. That people focusing on having fun were underachievers/unfocused/unmotivated. That people being in expectancy of their next vacation were shallow. I know it sounds judgy.

These were super strong beliefs, ingrained in me from an early age and reinforced by my immigrant background. I was victim to them. For if I held that belief about others, I very well couldn’t operate that way myself, now could I? [I’ll spare you the deeper work underneath this… LOL]

It took me a lot of reprogramming myself… to start breaking these patterns and to start appreciating the Gift in leisure, in simplicity, in fun. Now I have a huge appreciation for people who operate this way. Now I allow myself to embrace and pursue these. Now I encourage others to do the same… Which brings me back to the teachings I was referencing.

What makes us Happy? It actually isn’t about downtime, fun or vacations… [Ha! ;)] These serve a different purpose. They serve the purpose of soothing us, of recharging us, of replenishing us, of inspiring us, of aligning us, of resetting us, of putting us on a positive frame of mind… From this state we are resourced to manage our life well, to interact with others well, to show up with our best Self.

When we are resourced and able to take care of our business, we can actually create what we desire. We can actually create change. We can actually make progress. We can actually get momentum going in the direction we like. We can actually grow and evolve. And, as we do, we feel Alive… And, this is what makes us Happy…

Hence my strong Focus on Self Care, Connection and Productivity in my personal life, and in my work with others…

What is resonating for you in this message? Where do you need to refocus? Where do you fall on the “seeking fun” spectrum? Are you seeking fun to be Happy and missing the boat on how to Be Happy? I have so many clients with amazing lifestyles, extravagant vacations, all sorts of fun built into their routine but they are not Happy… Pampering and immediate gratification does not equal Happiness.

Being in the moment and focused on making progress is what makes us Happy… What do you need to tweak in your approach to life to be Happy? Identify and implement right now! Be Happy!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below!

Happy Being Happy!!!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Expand your Happy List™ approach to include being mindful of making progress in what is important to you. Stay focused and build momentum. Feel the progress.

Happy List™ (replenish) + Play with what’s important to make progress = Happy

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:  Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

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