Giving to yourself for ultimate success

Giving to yourself for ultimate success

I know not everybody enjoys and thrives during the holidays. Most actually don’t and struggle. I’m sorry if this is you. Tackling our Holiday and Year-End Process™ (HYP) might help… I know that our clients that fully embrace this process fare much better than those that don’t when the new year comes around… If you struggle please Gift this process to yourself!

I’ve been writing about Gifting and Giving and how being generous is a key element to feeling happy. How Gifting and Giving adds meaning to our lives.

What I’ve noticed with this Theme, is that people might be awesome at Giving to others but they are not as awesome at giving to themselves… And, I’m not talking about buying ourselves the latest new thing. For those that care for themselves with material things might not be caring for themselves in more important and impactful ways…

I’m talking about Giving ourselves the gift of our own Presence… Of good nutrition. Of exercise. Of sleep. Of free time. Of pampering. Of leisure and pleasure. Of playfulness. Of support. Of a Mindfulness Practice. Of mental spaciousness… This is being Generous with ourselves!

Remember from last week’s article, that generosity stimulates the same neural network that lights up with physical pleasure… It makes us feel happy. Being generous with ourselves gives us the benefit of not only caring for ourselves and all the benefits that come along with that, but also the benefit of actual Giving. This is a 2-for-1 deal! 

It behooves us then, if we care about our happiness and wellness, if we care about our success, to Give to our ourselves as diligently as we give to our loved ones, and even strangers.

So how about it? As you are working through Aspects1-3 of the HYP, be mindful of this concept and weave it into your experience… This will make or break your month! (a little dramatization for good measure is always fun to add!).

Select and implement a way to Give to yourself that makes life easier, smoother and more rewarding. Keep it simple, choose something that recharges and replenishes. Enjoy!!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Receiving!

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment  

Plan out and implement a simple Holiday Self-Care Practice™. Streamline all the hoopla. Invest in what really recharges and replenishes you. Give to yourself generously. Take it in.

Make it fun and enjoy!

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

Letting go, productivity and meaningful holidays

Letting go, productivity and meaningful holidays

I noticed that when the weather and seasons don’t line up as we expect them, that we are a little thrown off. If you are feeling rushed, discombobulated, and a bit out of sorts this could be part of the reason. What do you need to do to catch up with Mother Nature? 

This brings me to fully embracing the lessons of Mother Nature, the Seasons, of the Fall Season. We are energetically connected to and directly affected by the rhythms of nature. You might have noticed its strong influence in my writing. We are a part of nature and ebb and flow with it.

Fall is the Season for Letting Go… The leaves turn color and prepare to let go, fruits are harvested. The weather is chillier. The land is left fallow. As nature turns inwards, so do we turn inside and inwards… We also let go, restock, and prepare for the new growth… 

Earlier in the Season I’ve encouraged you to keep your routines simple and streamline your operations, that was in preparation for further embracing all the Season has to offer. Now we take this a step further. Now is the time to let go of anything that doesn’t work for you, is in the way or blocking your path.

Now is the time to set the intention to let go of anything that doesn’t serve you, known and unknown… Now is the time to let go of unwanted energy and to develop one that is desired… Now is the time to let go of any space and time suckers in preparation for new growth, new possibilities. This allows Life’s balance between growth and rest, expansion and conservation.

This allows space for us to notice the beauty and bounty of the season. This allows us to embody a gratefulness practice and the joys of the Thanksgiving Season. As we continue on our Holiday and Year-End Process™ (HYP) this ties in with Aspect2, of experiencing meaningful and joyous holidays as we remain productive… So, let’s go with the Season’s Letting Go…

Let go of:

  • Anger, resentment, jealousy, greed, shame, loss, sadness, pain
  • Clutter, repetitiveness, redundancy, circumvention, multitasking, spinning wheels
  • Bad habits, unhealthy tendencies, gluttony, splurging, wasting
  • Self-deprecation, criticism, sabotage, abuse, neglect
  • Control, judgement, tit-for-tat, narcissism, victimization

What else do you need to let go of?

Create space for a loving heart, for compassion, for gratefulness, for appreciation, for seeing the abundance, the blessings, and the miracles all around us…

Create space for new possibilities, for new growth, for newness that make your heart, your Soul sing. Let go.

Connect with the space, with the stillness this engenders. Connect with your Self. Listen…

How are you inspired to celebrate Thanksgiving, to give Thanks, to show your Love and Appreciation? Let that guide your Holiday and enrich your upcoming days… 

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Letting Go!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment  

Invite your partner to do Aspect2 of the Holiday and Year-End Process™ (HYP).

Identify, create, a time of quiet and privacy where you can relax, and explore and play with this one.

Have an open and free discussion, share your internal world, about things you’d like to Let Go. Create a no-judgement zone before you start: Promise not to interrupt, judge, analyze, compare, give advice or any such. You are each to share from a vulnerable place and listen to the other with an open mind and loving heart.

When you are done, say an intention of Letting Go of these things, and let them go

Appreciate and acknowledge each other’s courage for being vulnerable and taking this step.

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

Get rid of the negativity in your life

Get rid of the negativity in your life

And, how are You doing? What theme do you have currently going on? What new approach, system, structure, plan, routine, and such have you implemented for a smoother Autumn? Do you recognize any old patterns rearing their ugly head yet? What can you do differently to nip them in the bud this season? Do you have a fun theme in the mix? Mine is Socializing!

All my commitments, involvements, and projects have a Social gathering aspect attached to them right now. Ha! So fun!

It’s interesting how we might not realize how many “networks” we actually belong to. Unless we are purposefully trying to engage with a lot of people to build a business or sell Girl Scout cookies, we don’t necessarily pay attention to this. Now a days we pay a lot more attention to how many Friends we have on Facebook, Connections on LinkedIn, or Followers on Instagram.

We are a lot more focused on our Social Media audience, not even our other online communities. I guarantee you belong to at least 10 (on- and off-line), go ahead count them. The point of this is that there is so much fun and opportunities to be had when we fully engage in our world… We don’t have to reinvent the wheel, we just have to show up…

The deal is that we might get mired down with negativity in our life to the point that we don’t know how to appropriately engage in our world and actually enjoy it…

We might hold resentments, compete with ourselves and/or others, do comparisons, make judgements, strive for perfection, self-neglect and even abuse, have unreasonable expectations, be demanding and critical, be controlling, have ineffective boundaries, entertain drama, you get my drift… All these serve to sabotage our awesome life.

All these block our Light. They don’t allow us to leverage our Resources… They hold us back from our full potential. They conspire to create a mediocre and unfulfilled life at the end of the day. And we have a ton of these littering our mind every moment! We are feeding a toxic environment between our ears, that color the whole of our existence…

This negativity informs our mindset, influences our feeling state, generates our biochemistry, impacts all our organs and physiology, and that’s before we even speak with anyone or take any action…

This negativity influences all our choices, our decisions, our interactions, our behavior; our approach to everything. It is a lens we unknowingly put on that we don’t know to take off… We might have hints that we have it on, like: not feeling emotionally well, actually getting sick, being chronically ill, things not going well in certain areas of our life, having issues with people, not making progress on projects, things breaking down all around us, and such…

If you notice this going on, it’s time to take stock of what is renting space in your head… And, it’s time to start doing some evicting!

It is absolutely rewarding to start catching the negativity and shifting it, to let go of it, to stop it in its track. Notice what brand of negativity you tend to carry around and address its source. Eradicate its roots to prevent it from coming back. We don’t want you working hard at this, be smart about it. Address it and move on to the fun in life!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Eradicating!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

List all the ways you recognize that you are negative, what negative thoughts you entertain, how you sell yourself short, how you might beat on yourself and others, and the like…

Choose a particular way you do negativity that takes a significant toll in your life to address first. Process for how this serves you…, and how it holds you back…

Then make any necessary changes to replace how it serves you… and any necessary changes to remove its trigger…, so it can no longer hold you back.

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

How to manage negative feelings

How to manage negative feelings

Woohoo, happy September! How are you doing? Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and frazzled with back2school and back2hectiness? Transitioning back into the hectic season is not easy sometimes. You might be experiencing vacation brain and are not ready to jump in.

You might be experiencing regret at not having had the summer you wanted and feeling like it went too fast. You might just be overwhelmed by the flipping of the switch and being back-on. And, add the pressures inherent to Q4 if this is on your radar. In any case, whether it’s these or other reasons that you are not feeling so hot, you are not alone.

I’ve already been providing suggestions on how to set up your Fall for success, and how to go into it with ease and grace. Here is a quick recap:

  • Have a last Fun Activity or Outing to say goodbye to Summer
  • Intentionally close the summer addressing summer locations, wardrobe, paraphernalia and such
  • Create a Fall routine that supports you, keep it simple and streamlined
  • Proactively select the habits that make up your routine to enrich your lifestyle and promote wellness
  • Review what you’ve committed yourself (and your family) to and reassess, take something out…

The idea is to minimize the hecticness, the overscheduling, the running and rushing around, the saturated bandwidth, and the like that create stress and breakdown in health, wellbeing and relationship(s) satisfaction. Which at the end of the day are what life is about. We tend to miss the boat on this!          

Here are a few other suggestions that when implemented help create the ease, flow and joy we tend to undermine with the usual way we go about our life:

  • Have a Family Night (or Couple Night or Me Night depending on your current life stage)
  • Have two week-afternoons or -nights per week where there are no extra-curricular activities
  • Implement Reading and other types of Down Time
  • It does not make sense to have two sports activities back-to-back on the same day… Schedule differently or pick one!
  • Don’t double or triple book anything! Leave time for processing, regrouping, breathing, transitioning, and such…
  • Implement intentional transitions – from school/work to personal time, from day to night/sleep time, from weekdays to weekend, from weekend to weekdays
  • Create time for silence, to interact with others, to linger, to be bored…
  • Allow yourself and your family time to savor life…

When you start embracing this more minimalist kind of lifestyle, you actually get to Live your life more…

As you embrace minimizing the noise in your life, you’ll notice a significant improvement in your stress level, wellbeing and life and relationship(s) satisfaction… Your mood and health will be much better. Your efficiency and productivity will increase. Doing less is actually doing more!

But because we do have an overdoing-it ingrained approach, to embrace a more minimalist one is not so easy. Your train has already left the station and you are riding that ride… And, feeling the impact of it! So, as you try to slow down that train to get on a different track, you might need additional support to manage the damage already done.

To manage and address the negative feelings and state of being that might be kicking your butt. This translates into swapping Doing for Self-care… Add lots of self-care to your routine to help manage and reset your mood and feelings…

Here is a wonderful guided meditation, and energy clearing, to add to your repertoire for processing negative emotions… Nourishing activities like this one make all difference!

Focusing on feeling well, versus continuing to do more of the same and pushing through it, is the key to managing negative feelings. Removing noise and demands, nourishing your body and spirit, and Being in your life goes a long way in feeling well and living a life well lived.

Set yourself up for an amazing Fall. Remember, less is more. Take care of and be nice to yourself, and your loved ones!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Well-Feeling!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Take a close look at your current daily routine and lifestyle.

Lovingly, gently and intentionally revise it to support you and your loved ones better.

Streamline, simplify, systematize, delegate, and outsource. 

Focus on keeping large chunks of time for just Being and enjoying… Safeguard these times as if your life depends on them. Because it does!

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

Why you need Purpose in your life

Why you need Purpose in your life

Happy August! Hope you are having fun and enjoying everything summer has to offer. I’m delightfully balancing work-play and play-play. Isn’t it awesome when you work but feels like you are not working…? I’ve been having this feeling more and more, where I have to check to see “how much work” I did. LOL A world-class problem for sure!

As usual, I’m playing with my themes, projects, and Transcendental Mindset™. I so enjoy this part of my life as it totally influences everything else. One of the latest kicks is “Purpose”. I’ve realized my Purpose, have owned it, and have been playing with it for a very long time now. But, I’m having an interesting experience with, not so much as to what it is for me and what to do with it, but as a concept.

In my ongoing quest for creating well-being for myself and assisting those around me and my clients, the concept of Purpose keeps showing up no matter what angle I take in my research. Very interesting. I’ve been writing that value-based pleasures (related to purpose!) are the key to well-being… I find this to be so true as I observe loved ones, those in my different networks, clients and humanity at large.

I find that those just doing the daily grind and who can barely get their head above water are the ones that are the least satisfied and well. Those that seek fun and pleasure but are thrill seekers and superficially entertained are second. And, those that have Purpose and embrace it well are healthy, happy, peaceful, abundant – Well.

In my pursuit to be a good mother and promote Wellness in my family, I’m always searching what to role model, and how to teach, guide, inspire and such. I know me being me and doing my own life well is a great role model in and of itself.

But parenting is a full contact sport, and I want to proactively parent our daughter. What I’ve come across is so rewarding! It takes parenting to the next level intoxicatingly connecting my themes, interests, pursuits and the like. Bam!

So, let’s take a look at one of the books I’m currently reading:

Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain – An Inside-Out Guide to the Emerging Adolescent Mind, Ages 12-24By Daniel Seigel, M.D.

This book is written for adolescents and those supporting adolescents. It identifies the Essence of adolescence and how the adolescent mind’s focus is on novelty-seeking, social engagement, increased emotional intensity and creative exploration. It encourages engaging these aspects proactively to prevent the usual teenage approach to these to their detriment.

Seigel further makes the marvelous correlation that if adults were to embrace these qualities ongoingly themselves that they would experience a more satisfying life… The Essence and wonderful opportunities this state of being brings get lost as adults get sucked into the responsibilities of life. 

When we are not properly stimulated or engaged, whether we are adolescents or mature adults, we create a dissatisfying life. This is why Purpose is so important!

Additional play with the concept of Purpose let me to this delicious exercise – The Purpose Challenge… Whether you know your Purpose or are still wondering, this exercise is so fun and helps you focus your attention in your life… 

Sort the statements below into these three categories, using the exact number of statements noted for each category:

  • “Exactly Like Me” (3 statements)
  • “Not At All Like Me” (3 statements)
  • “Neither Like Me or Not Like Me” (remaining 7 statements)
  1. Promoting my political beliefs is very important to me.
  2. Volunteering is very important to me.
  3. Finding a career that is consistent with my values and beliefs is very important to me.
  4. Being there for my friends is very important to me.
  5. Pursuing a calling, rather than just a job is very important to me.
  6. Serving my country is very important to me.
  7. Helping others is very important to me.
  8. Serving my family is very important to me.
  9. Supporting social issues is very important to me.
  10. Expressing myself through my artwork (ex. music, painting, etc.) is very important to me.
  11. Living life according to my religious beliefs is very important to me.
  12. Being a spiritual person is very important to me.
  13. Being able to support a family of my own in the future is very important to me.

Now, list them in this order:

  • Not At All Like Me
  • Neither Like Me or Not Like Me
  • Exactly Like Me

The last three is where you’d want to place your focus and resources. This is your Purpose, you might want to name it. All the other items sound pretty wonderful also, but if we tackle a lot of them without focusing on what is really important to us our efforts get diluted, our impact is minimized, and our satisfaction and well-being quotient take a hit…

This is the way to live a meaningful, satisfying, and rewarding life – a successful life, an exceptional life, a well lived life, a Well-Being life… Play along and see what you find out. Play along and keep streamlining your life. Play along and focus on being stimulated and engaged in ways that are in Alignment with your Purpose… Now we are talking, embrace this and enjoy!

Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…

Share your experience by leaving a comment below! 

Happy Purposing!

 

 

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Look at how you use your time and determine how rewarding and enriching those experiences are. Be brutally honest, that’s the only way we can create the change we desire…

Run your activities through your Purpose lens to see if they are in alignment:

If they are not, dump them or work towards dumping them…

If they are, but somehow they are still not rewarding determine what is getting in the way and take action to remedy it.

Add this to your Tool Kit…

 

 

   Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

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