What keeps you entertained and engaged in your life? What professional or personal projects are you tackling? Are you excited about these? Are you proud of what you are accomplishing? Are you inspired by what you are involved in? How is your life journey going? How are your personal goals coming along? Are you creating with your Partner?
Creating with our Partner is at the corner stone of our life… This is one of the reasons we couple… How do you create with your Partner? What do you create? Do you have a strong partnership? Do you have systems in place to easily and effortlessly collaborate at the business of life?
It’s interesting how many go through life haphazardly, putting out fires, being stressed out and overwhelmed, getting on each other’s nerves and being resentful… Running your joint life and Creating together doesn’t have to be so. It can actually be seamless, enjoyable, fun, rewarding, and inspiring.
Becoming a strong partnership doesn’t just happen. It requires patience, understanding, acceptance, communication, transparency, open-mindedness, flexibility, compromise, grace, and appreciation for starters.
Becoming a strong partnership means wanting to be a strong couple. Having a clean relationship mindset… Owning ourselves and our power while being mindful, intentional, and cooperative.
It means improving our personal habits, stepping up our game, learning relationship enrichment skills, integrating personal development into our lifestyle, addressing any recurring negative patterns, mutually meeting our needs, subscribing to a relationship nurturing approach, and being collaborative in our everyday.
Becoming a strong partnership means operating as a Team. It means creating a structure in our home and routine that support us and the journey we want to have. It means creating an amazing lifestyle that makes life worth living. It means putting in place the systems to allow us to make that happen. Why struggle and beat our head against the wall. What life hacks do you subscribe to? How do you make your life easier?
It’s time to do these seamlessly consistently:
Provide healthy and nutritious meals and snacks
Have a self-care practice built into daily routine
Glide from one activity to the next
Address and prevent clutter
Have quality family and couple time
Be prepared for activities and for the next day
Have a connected and efficient bedtime routine with children
Have a connected and intimate evening routine with partner
Have a soothing and replenishing personal turndown routine
Have agreed shared responsibilities
Have methods for synchronizing, staying current and in the loop, and collaborating
Have a check-in and staying connected mechanism with partner
Have approach to connection, intimacy, passion and fun that honors both partners
Have approach for accomplishing projects and achieving goals and milestones…
Are cooperatively pursuing your joint life vision…
You are a role model to other couples and families, and an inspiration to those around you…
If you have a lot of the above in place, good for you! See what else you’d like to make easier and work it.
If you feel overwhelmed by the above, it means your life is probably a bit overwhelming and chaotic and could stand to have some organization and structure. Pick 2 items from the list above that when implemented your life would immediately feel like a different life. These are that powerful.
Keep tackling the list. Automate the workings of your life, and see how much easier and rewarding it becomes!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Automating!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Go through your daily routine in your head and identify the times when you are stressed, annoyed, resentful, overwhelmed. Note, what time of day it is, who is involved, where you are, and what’s involved. Pick the one item that calls to you the most and put a system in place to automate it and take the edge off. Enjoy!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Happy Spring (and, in these parts, snow day… LOL)! The weather has been so nutty but wonderfully stimulating as we adjust to the unexpected and the different. I’m sure you know the concept that the same old gets boring, that doing repetitive work or activity stifles our Spirit, that living an unchallenged life is not living. Why settle when we can continue to evolve and expand? This is where the juice is. As you know I’m always learning and connecting the dots in different ways to help us on this quest…
Some pretty cool and easy strategies I came across to stimulate new neuro-pathways in the brain to rewire and expand itself include things like: write with your opposite-dominant hand, take cold showers, drive home a different route, change up your exercise routine, start and end meetings at off times, stimulate the senses, and such. We can make a career of playing with this concept, and how enlivening would that be? I say, let’s sprinkle a little of this into our everyday to keep things fresh and expanding…
So, though part of me balks at the change in schedule, routine, and plans when there is change-up, like a snow day, another part of me relishes the new ensued energy. It is up to us to see the beauty in the wrinkles. Most of us love a good snow day, so this is not so challenging to do here. But think of other wrinkles that show up in your life and how you might fight against and resist them. Look for the beauty (gift) you can enjoy in them instead.
I’m ready for Spring. And in that spirit, I already had a new addition arrive for my garden. I owned my desire to have the scent of honeysuckle permeate my yard and purchased a couple of these beauties. I cannot wait to get out there and dig in the dirt, after the snow melts… My research put these plants not only as a favored fragrant plant but also as a great pollinator (which I was looking for). I get to enjoy nurturing and strengthening these plants indoor (part of the beauty in this wrinkle) before they make it to their outdoor spot. I’m so excited!
Regardless of the weather, with springtime comes Spring Cleaning… This is one of my favorite times of year, when things come back to life, fresh energy flows anew, and there is new Life in the air. I make it my business to fuel this and ride this wave. I have a few springtime rituals help this along that have to do with De-Clutting:
I use this time to clean out junk, excess, accumulation, old things, expired things, no longer wanted things, and such.
I use this time to clean out, tweak, streamline, retarget, refresh routines, habits, rituals, practices, approaches, and such.
I use this time to clean out commitments, activities, goals, projects, tasks and such that are no longer in alignment with my values, current vision, and desires.
I use this time to clean out my mind of any running scripts that might be currently creating havoc, sabotaging, or undermining my wishes. And with this one, comes also the cleaning out of any funky approach to relating with others especially my most loved ones. This is one of the hardest one to do (an you thought cleaning out your closet was a challenge!), and a process that obviously goes on beyond springtime. I’m all about continuing to always evolve and expand in all areas, and of course this one is top of the list.
What is resonating for you as an area that needs cleaning and de-cluttering in your own experience? Where can you clean out junk that is holding you back? Where can you streamline your approach for an easier path? Where can you get rid of stuff to generate new energy?
Go for it and enjoy the emerging sense of renewal!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy De-Cluttering!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Identify the area of your life that could benefit the most from de-cluttering: your physical environment, your approach to life, your relationships, or your head…
Identify 3 things in your area that you want to Refresh… Think on how to go about it, put support in place, and go for it!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
~ Share Your Thoughts & Successes in the comment box at the end!
Take a moment now to share below any thoughts, comments, take away, tips, and successes! PLEASE post a comment now – we grow in community!
Thanks for connecting with the MetroRelationship™ Family!
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How do you deal with disruptions? Do they mess you up?
Do you fall in the super organized and plan everything camp? Or, do you fall in the unstructured, take-it-as-it-comes, winging-it camp? As you might have already guessed, I fall more in the super organized and plan everything camp. And, I evangelize this approach in an effort to teach creating life (relationship) by design. I’m a strong proponent of creating systems and structures to support us in everything we do to propel us forward.
Of course there are pros and cons to most things in life. Our job is to decide what works best for us, and to make it work as best as possible.
If we are too organized and structured, a disruption might throw us off. On the other hand, when we plan ahead and have systems in place, disruptions can be handled with grace.
If we are easy going and take life in stride, a disruption can be handled the same. On the other hand, if not anticipated and no plans are in place, disruptions can put us over the edge and create crisis.
This concept applies to relating with our partner as well. I’ve seen clients who wing-it in their relationship and clients who over plan and control everything. In my opinion, both leave a lot to desire and neither is conducive to creating the relationship we want.
When we wing-it, we are not creating a relationship by design. We are going through the motions, reacting, possibly creating drama, and not meeting our partner’s and our own needs…
When we over plan, structure, force, script, and such we miss the boat on Being in our relationship. We instead are doing our relationship but there is no gusto in it. We can’t feel our partner, our needs are not met, we don’t have fun, and the relationship actually feels like work.
I teach living by design and creating systems and structures to support the life-relationship we want. But, then some take this too far and the initial intention gets lost in the process.
What’s the point of forcing dinners, dates, vacations, trips, couple time, etc.? What’s the point of scheduling all this, plus everything else, and then being stressed to make it happen? Same thing goes for communication tools and skills. And, for sexy-time. And, for self-care practices. And, other things that supposed to be good.
We can take a good thing too far. If we feel pressure and stress to keep up with any of these things, then we are over doing it. The good thing is no longer a good thing… When we get here, we have to catch ourselves to make sure we don’t miss the forest for the tree. Systems and structures are supposed to work for us not the other way around!
I have been finding myself teaching this part of the concept more and more recently. That of using our tools and skills well, but not to run them into the ground. They can carry us only so far before they actually become a hindrance. Once it goes this way, it’s time to pat ourselves on the back for having come this far and for learning so much. Then, it’s time to do things differently to get to the next level…
The next level is Mastery. This is where you artfully use your tools, skills, and knowledge, but not with the flavor of doing but with the flavor of Being. This is where showing up with your Being makes all the difference. This is where using all those resources laced with intuition, compassion, and love have the impact they are supposed to. Tools for the sake of tools are a waste. YOU still need to drive them for them to make a difference.
So, take a look at your routines, systems, schedules, TimeMap, and anything else related to how you organize and design your life-relationship. Note if you are too loose or too uptight about how you run your stuff. You might have a combo of both. Decide where more structure is needed and where less will serve you, and your loved ones, best. Take step towards adjusting any imbalance.
Intentionally deciding how you want this to be in your life is the most important piece. Owning how you run your life is what creates the life you want.
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Creating!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Design what you want your life to look like daily and weekly. Use a TimeMap approach to capture your vision. Chunk up and assign your time to life categories that are important to you. Each category-time-chunk is then the designated time to do related tasks, activities, plans and such.
This way you can balance how you prioritize things in your life, focus on what is important to you covering all your bases without stressing yourself out. Don’t overthink it, keep it simple and have fun with this!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It’s a quiet and cozy kind of day, except for the howling winds outside, as I write this. Feeling super blessed and inspired with current projects, the people in my life, and the prospect of Spring being just around the corner. This makes me Happy.
I was listening to a Tony Robbins recording the other day that so resonated and reinforced concepts I teach, that I made a mental note to write about the powerful message again. It’s interesting how the teaching of the Masters, Mentors, and Teachers all begin to blend after a while… The message I feel inspired to share about can also be found in the work I recently reference, The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.
What makes us Happy? Once upon a time, I used to believe that the pursuit of happiness was frivolous. That people looking for shortcuts in life were lazy. That people focusing on having fun were underachievers/unfocused/unmotivated. That people being in expectancy of their next vacation were shallow. I know it sounds judgy.
These were super strong beliefs, ingrained in me from an early age and reinforced by my immigrant background. I was victim to them. For if I held that belief about others, I very well couldn’t operate that way myself, now could I? [I’ll spare you the deeper work underneath this… LOL]
It took me a lot of reprogramming myself… to start breaking these patterns and to start appreciating the Gift in leisure, in simplicity, in fun. Now I have a huge appreciation for people who operate this way. Now I allow myself to embrace and pursue these. Now I encourage others to do the same… Which brings me back to the teachings I was referencing.
What makes us Happy? It actually isn’t about downtime, fun or vacations… [Ha! ;)] These serve a different purpose. They serve the purpose of soothing us, of recharging us, of replenishing us, of inspiring us, of aligning us, of resetting us, of putting us on a positive frame of mind… From this state we are resourced to manage our life well, to interact with others well, to show up with our best Self.
When we are resourced and able to take care of our business, we can actually create what we desire. We can actually create change. We can actually make progress. We can actually get momentum going in the direction we like. We can actually grow and evolve. And, as we do, we feel Alive… And, this is what makes us Happy…
Hence my strong Focus on Self Care, Connection and Productivity in my personal life, and in my work with others…
What is resonating for you in this message? Where do you need to refocus? Where do you fall on the “seeking fun” spectrum? Are you seeking fun to be Happy and missing the boat on how to Be Happy? I have so many clients with amazing lifestyles, extravagant vacations, all sorts of fun built into their routine but they are not Happy… Pampering and immediate gratification does not equal Happiness.
Being in the moment and focused on making progress is what makes us Happy… What do you need to tweak in your approach to life to be Happy? Identify and implement right now! Be Happy!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Being Happy!!!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Expand your Happy List™ approach to include being mindful of making progress in what is important to you. Stay focused and build momentum. Feel the progress.
Happy List™ (replenish) + Play with what’s important to make progress = Happy
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
In my mediation earlier today, there was a beautiful sentiment that stood out. That of having choice… I think we all agree we have choices in life, specially living in the land of the free… But, it is so interesting that we understand this as a concept but yet hardly live by it… It is an ongoing saga with clients who believe they feel as they do because of what their partners (others) do… Oops, too quick… Let me back up.
We know we are free. We know we have choices. Yet, we live in bondage not only socially but also relationally and personally… This is a personal empowerment message. It is a message to wake up to our life.
We have a choice as to what we have in our life, how we live our life, what we do, how we make money, where we work, who we spend time with, how we interact, how we dress, what we eat, and the rest of it.
We have a choice as to how we want to show up:
Criticize or praise
Frown or smile
Yell or talk
Veg out or exercise
Distance or connect
Dramatize or let go
Abandon/neglect or nurture
We have a choice as to we choose to look at something, the meaning we assign it, how we experience it, and how we feel about it… Yes, we have a choice!
Does this mean we live in a vacuum and we are not impacted by others, No. Does this mean we choose how to be impacted, and correct our experience to the best of our ability, Yes. Does this mean we keep Focusing on improving this ability, YES!
We can have all the excuses we want at any given time to explain our choice to interact with others and ourselves with negativity. At the end of the day we chose to have an excuse to explain our unhappiness. We chose to give away our power. We chose to not live our life with authenticity. This is not who we really are!
All the negative responses are defenses and reactions from ego (fear; head/logic). When we choose the positive ways of showing up, we are showing up with our Higher Self (truth, compassion; heart/love). This is what begets lightheartedness, joy, peace, harmony, love, connection, and fun…
We have a choice to live in happiness and have an amazing life. Pay attention to what you focus on. Pay attention to what you give lip service. Pay attention to what you entertain. Pay attention to what you allow. Pay attention to how you allow others to treat you. Pay attention to how you treat others. Pay attention to how you talk to and about yourself… Pay attention to how you treat yourself… You have choices…
Notice “what you need more of in your life”, and go get it… During our monthly networking luncheon (Empowering Women in Business™) this week, we posed this question.
The responses from our attendees included: laughter, smiles, relaxation, free time, good conversation, care of animals, ukulele, crocheting, chocolate, gratitude, connection, friendship, happy families, gardening, and by a landslide – sunshine! None of these had to do with material things… These are priceless and easy to have!
These are the little things that make us happy. We have a choice as to what we put in our experience. Choose what makes you happy in as many moments of your day as you are aware… Choose happy!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Choosing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a list of the little things in life that make you Happy. Cover all areas from environment, nature, relating, to bodily treats and such. Make it as exhaustive as you can, then make it your business to integrate more of these in your life…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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