When our relationship is not perfect or when we struggle in our relationship, we might have the mindset that – marriage is hard, being in a relationship is a lot of work, and other such nonsense…
I get it that sometimes our relationship can be really frustrating and that we might feel like we spin our wheels and can’t make the changes we desire. I get it because I’ve been there, and because I see this with the many clients we’ve served over the years.
But because we are feeling frustrated, and we might be feeling stuck our relationship and status don’t warrant such hard assessments and labels. This pejorative view further influences how we view and approach our relationship and our partner. This is the filter that affects everything else from our communication to our collaboration…
Then we enter into additional disagreements, conflict and disconnect where it might feel impossible to create change in our relationship and to create the relationship we desire- but it is not.
The 5 Elements of our Successful Relationship Strategy™ cover the targeted areas to focus on with your partner to seamlessly create a transformation in your relationship. When we intentionally focus on showing up differently, improving our skills, using better tools, changing our patterns and investing in our relationship in these areas- there is no way not to create change in our relationship…
Element1 – Context & Mindset: Empower Yourself– this has to do with all things of the mind. Including upleveling mindset, changing thought patterns, addressing limiting believes, reprogramming negativity bias, and more…
>> So you stop feeling stuck and break the impasse…
~ Partnership Mindset – This is where we embrace a allies vs enemies mindset…
~ Effective Boundaries – This is where we fully own ourselves vs owning our partner…
Element2 – Communication & Alignment: Improve Understanding– this has to do with all things regarding communication. Including having proper conversations, addressing concerns and issues, resolving conflict, repairing, apologizing and more…
>>So you easily get on the same page and understand each other better…
~ Simple Powerful Skills – This is where we improve our communication tools and skills…
~ Speak for Yourself – This is where we get our partner to understand us…
Element3 – Clarity & Dynamics: Change Patterns– this has to do with all things involving emotional patterns and programs. Including addressing our relationship loop, resolving having the same old fight, stopping the power struggle, increasing self-regulation and resilience, and more…
>> So you understand why you have the same old issues creeping up and change the patterns
~ Meet Your Needs – This is where you learn how to meet and get your needs met…
~ Give Something Different – This is where you optimize how you meet your partner’s needs…
Element4 – Connection & Intimacy: Deepen Connection– this has to do with all things on connection and intimacy. Including how to create, sustain and deepen connection, how to increase and expand intimacy, how to enrich exchanges and have meaningful interactions, and more…
>> So reignite your love, deepen your connection, and increase your intimacy
~ Connection Habits – This where you automate improving your connection…
~ Really Date Your Partner – This is where you bring the passion back…
Element5 – Collaboration & Partnership: Become a Team– this has to do with all things partnership and working better together. Including how to have a life vision and set achievable goals, create a smooth-running household, share responsibility, enjoy coparenting, and more…
>> So you create a strong partnership and a harmonious, joyful and loving home and beautiful life
~ Working Life Vision – This is where you align and create a north star for your life…
~ Divide and Conquer Approach – This is where you have you own and each other’s back…
You CAN create a successful relationship and meaningful life, just be intentional about it!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Are you creating your Best Life? Do you have a Life Vision? Do you have a Joint Life Vision? How do you know what you are working towards every day? Are you just focused on making ends meet, or are you working towards something?
Are all your choices in alignment with your values and creating your Best Life? Is all your effort put towards it? Or are you squandering your precious resources, your focus, energy and time? Becoming a strong partnership is key to creating your Best Life.
It is very common for people to not have a Life Vision and goals for the future, as is also very common for couples to not be on the same page about their future and working towards a joint vision together. Couples don’t usually have a Joint Life Vision.
When couples don’t have a Joint Life Vision, they don’t have a North Star guiding their life. They don’t have a way to filter their actions, their activities, their habits, their routines, their lifestyle, their spending – all their decisions and approach to their relationship and their life.
A Joint Life Vision is the map to where you want to do, what kind of life you want to create. Not having one means you are banging around through life, creating by default, and possibly focusing on the wrong things.
Having this map, doesn’t mean the route is written in permanent marker, that you can’t take the scenery route here and there, or park by the side of the road every so often. Having this map, a Joint Life Vision, does mean you are going in the right direction and enjoying the ride.
Creating a Joint Life Vision is much easier to do when you are operating as a strong team, when you become a strong partnership… Partners that feel stuck and are pointing the finger at each other, that can’t get on the same page, who keep having the same issues and can’t get out of their own way, and who feel disconnected have a hard time with this.
Setting common goals, working towards them and collaborating is not easy to do with our partner if the rest of the relationship is off…
To create an awesome life, we need to have an awesome relationship… When our relationship is off, it is challenging for the rest of our life to feel right and be epic…
Where does this leave us in terms of creating our #BestLife? It means we have a dream, a Life Vision, and work towards it while we give our relationship a lot of TLC…
Here is a quick formula to wrap our mind around this:
👀 Have your own Life Vision, flesh out all the life areas and then focus on your top 3 💗 Always make your relationship part of the top 3 👏 Once you are in a good place with your partner, share your Life Vision and create a Joint Life Vision 📐 Align your whole life against this Joint Life Vision 🛠 Create systems with your partner for easy collaboration and a divide and conquer approach
What does it mean to align your whole life against the life vision?
That you spend time on activities that help you complete projects that flow from your goals
That you spend time on goals that move the needle forward in creating your life vision
Make the Baby Steps Count
What kind of habits and activities are we talking about?
Let’s say, that you are focusing on the 3 main life themes: Wellness, Connection and Success. You’d make sure that you have habits and activities in these themes (their related life areas), to accomplish goals in these areas and move the needle forward in creating your life vision…
This can look something like this:
🌟Wellness (Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Mental): Meditation, Intermittent Fasting, Exercise, Reading >> For fitness, vitality, longevity, resilience and personal development
🌟Connection (Relational, Social): Check-In Chat, Delight Partner, Sexy Time, Fun Outing/Event >> For a radiant and successful relationship, and strong community
🌟Success –(Financial, Lifestyle): TimeMapping, Networking, Budgeting, Writing >> For wealth, social impact and great life
Making daily habits and actions of these is the easiest way to stay focused and cranking along…
In the daily routine is also where the managing the business of life, the domestic, personal tasks and projects, and other ventures and life projects happen, and which are best tackled in collaboration with your partner.
The divide and conquer approach and the synergy inherent in your partnership propels your creation and manifestation forward. This is how you seamlessly create your Best Life, your (Joint) Life Vision.
Collaboration FLOW
Here are some Collaboration Flow suggestions that work super well for our couples when they need support in this area:
💫 Bulk food shopping, grocery deliveries (sun, wed) – Keep a running shopping list to easily grab everything in one shopping event 💫 Laundry (sun, wed) – Throw in a couple of loads as needed (don’t do laundry every day, don’t let it pile up!) 💫 Food prep (sun) – Cook/bake a couple of things, cut up veggies and fruit – portion out and store (freeze if possible) 💫 Synchronizing Meeting (sun) – Have a moment on Sunday evenings to get on the same page about the upcoming week 💫 Check-In Chats (daily before or after dinner) – Have a moment to catch up on the day and get on the same page as needed 💫 Weekend Planning (thu) – Map out the flow, and plan the activities and fun for the upcoming weekend 💫 Integrating Meeting (sat) – Make time to meet to plan, discuss, share or what work on yourselves, the relationship, your finances, home renovations, and other projects
Creating structures, systems and automations makes it much easier to run a joint life freeing up time, energy and attention for Being and Enjoying.
Here is to your smooth, harmonious, and joyful home and family.
Here is to seamlessly creating your Best Life with your Partner!
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: APPLICATION – Consider where you have glitches in your weekly flow and collaboration with your partner and implement any Collaboration Flow suggestions that fit your needs.
🌟 Feel free to create your own. The key is to create an ongoing solution to address a need or recurring glitch…
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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