The ultimate tool for outsmarting your ego…


Let’s face it, there are a lot of reasons to be in a long-term loving romantic relationship. One of which is my absolute favorite- that of utilizing the relationship as a vehicle for evolving ourselves, and as the partnership in our Journey for having our best Human Experience and for creating our Best Life. A tall order, I know… But I love this reason because it places everything that happens in our relationship and in the time we share into a more meaningful context… And, no matter what happens we are in it together for our highest good… Then you can never go wrong! Your relationship can even help you bypass your current ego (your egoic defensive patterns)…

We’ve been doing a lot of work in reprogramming ourselves from all kinds of angles…

Emotional – Healing wounds and getting our core needs met, stretching ourselves, embracing love practices, giving ourselves nurturing and Mothering

Mental – Addressing our belief systems, scripts and mindset, embracing taking charge of ourselves, and giving ourselves disciplining and Fathering

What if we take this whole thing to a new level? What if we find a hack to do all this so much easier? What if we transcend our usual experience with a simple shift…?

Now, I’ve touched on this before when I covered doing Identity work… This is that and more…

Creating an Alter Ego…

Our usual ego keeps us stuck and small… It sabotages us… And it takes what feels like a herculean effort to reprogram it and dismantle it… But what if there is a hack in the meantime to help create what we desire?

The hack is creating an Alter Ego… An Alter Ego just completely bypasses our usual patterns! The key is to properly design and intentionally engage our Alter Ego…

ENVISION – Have a vision of a new version of you. A version of you that you want to be, become more… What part of you is usually forgotten, goes unnoticed, can’t be easily tapped into, or you even believe you don’t have, that you’d like to have in your life. What kind of person do you want to be? What dimension would you like to add to yourself? 

IDENTIFY – Given the new persona you want to become or add to yourself, what beliefs would that version of you have? What kind of worldview world they have? What kind of feelings would they feel? What kind of preferences would they have about things that are important to you? What personality characteristics would they have and what strengths? How would they approach your partner, relationship, and life differently?

EMBODY – Then, start showing up as this new version of yourself… Embrace this Alter Ego for them to be the new main character of your story, you might even want to give them a name… Show up as them in certain circumstances if that’s where you need them, or as much as possible if they are you 2.0… Tweak your habits and your appearance to match this new persona. You might even want to use a totem of sorts to channel your new you… Wearing non-prescription glasses, a specific piece of jewelry, a scarf or collar, a hat, and the like…

Integrating the New You

As you flesh out this new persona and start embracing it, think about what kind of standards they have, what are their musts and deal breakers, what are their expectations, how do they want to be treated, what kind of boundaries do they have, what values do they have and how do they live by them, how do they treat others, and so on…

Here we want to make sure that the Alter Ego is in alignment with our values and the core of who we are… We are just helping a great part of you come out to play… We are not creating something that doesn’t make sense nor support you and your life… This is an enhanced version of you that normally gets covered up with the muck of your egoic patterns…

We are bypassing our egoic patterns- we are coming out through the back door!

Remember, we are doing this to support you in Becoming the Best You. The you that’s in there and has challenges coming out to play… And, that this version is much more alluring, it’s magnetic, it gets what it wants, it easily manifests your Best Life with its magnificence.

In this version you are the King or Queen of your castle… Treat your partner like the Royal you are, and you’ll get the royal treatment back!

Your relationship is where you get to role play, have a dress rehearsal, and put on the show. Here is where you get to explore, practice, tweak and continue to Become…


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Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always

With Much Love & Light!

PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

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   Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.


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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™
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About Emma

Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.

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