fbpx
The key is embracing a relationship enrichment lifestyle… (Video)

The key is embracing a relationship enrichment lifestyle… (Video)

Do you feel like you are spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast in your life? Do you feel like your world got turned upside down and you don’t know what’s up or down? Do you feel exhausted and completely unmotivated? Do you feel like are banging around without purpose and alone? Do you feel disconnected from your partner and like you are both just floating around?

You are not alone. Imagine a gigantic hand grabbed the world this past year and shook it and shook it. Everything is rattled and out of place. We are just now beginning to get up and look around to see where everything landed… We are disoriented and shaken up… We might have a blurry vision, a ringing in our ears, a cloudy head, an upset stomach, shortness of breath, and some aches and pains… (metaphorically, and possibly quite literal as well…) We haven’t fully righted ourselves yet…

We have barely started to enter the aftermath of this unprecedented global phenomenon. We want to be done with it already, but there is no sense in rushing what is… There is good stuff here for us to take away, and I’m not sure the full message has been received yet… Hence, the continuation of this challenge…

Our job in all this is to figure out what it means for our own personal Human Experience and what we are to do with it…

What are the challenges that you are experiencing and what do they mean for you in the context of your Life…? See if you can step back from the everyday practical impact, and recognize what else is being spotlighted for you…

Let’s look at: What is our growth place? What do we need to heal? What do we need to integrate? How do we need to stretch? What do we need to learn? How do we need to grow, develop and evolve?

You might be throwing your hands up in the air right about now in frustration because you think you have no clue.

Or worse yet, you are suffering but are still rejecting all notions about personal development as the answer and are experiencing resistance… But I implore you to open your mind, ever so slightly, soothe that ego, and see if there isn’t the remote chance that this is the way out…

Look at what gets you. What repeating triggers, annoyances and patterns do you experience in your life? What is the usual and common feeling that you contend with day in and day out? What is the story you kept telling yourself is the issue in your life? Where do you feel stuck? Where do you want to be that you haven’t been able to get to yet? Do you even know where you want to be?

SO, I direct you to embracing a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ to assist you with all this…

What is a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ and how can it help?

The Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ is a new approach to our life… Where the answer is living consciously, intentionally, with an open heart, and in connection… These are core tenets of the Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ protocol…

 

The Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™

The Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ is comprised of three parts:

I – The Joint Vision
II – The 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™ [a.k.a., The Strategy]

1- Context & Mindset
2- Communication & Alignment
3- Clarity & Dynamics
4- Connection & Intimacy
5- Collaboration & Partnership

III – Living your Intentional Ideal Day

 

Watch the Video to learn more and complete the Assignment below!

 

ASSIGNMENT: Make a commitment to embrace a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™:

I – The Joint Vision – Design Your Joint Vision: Envision your own and have your partner do the same (think what you want in each area of life, what you’d like your life to be in 1, 5, 10, 25 years from now). Share your visions with each other, iron out any discrepancies, and integrate new pieces to create your Joint Vision… This is what you are working towards…

II – The 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™ – Work The Strategy: Focusing on The Strategy Element that needs the most attention, make sure are intentional about your mindset, communication, self-regulation and reprogramming, connection and collaboration on a daily basis…

III – Living Your Intentional Ideal Day – Live with Gusto and Intention: Design your Ideal Day using TimeMapping and TimeChunking for more focus, efficiency and flow… Add in your repeating behaviors, your tactics and habits, to help you achieve your goals… Make sure you use Intentional Habits, Wellness, Connection & Success Habits.

 

As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.

Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

PS1 – This month’s Themed Webinar is on April 26th, at 5 pm ET:

Mothering for Relationship Success
A Grounding, Caring & Nurturing Approach to Uplevel Your Relationship

After the novelty wears off in a relationship, partners have a tendency to go back to business as usual. They go back to the business of doing their life where the relationship and their partner no longer are the primary focus.

In this webinar, we’ll cover Mothering ourselves and our partner. When we employ Mothering, we increase acceptance, belonging, connection, and love in our relationship. Crucial ingredients for a successful relationship.

Increase Self-Love
It is challenging to give and receive love when our own self-love is lacking… Learn how to better connect with yourself and grace yourself with gentleness, acceptance, and compassion.

Improve Self-Care
Too often we claim we don’t have time for self-care, or self-care is the first thing to go when things get hectic. Learn how to implement a rich and sustainable self-care practice.

Embrace Partner-Care
Our relationship and our partner usually don’t even make it to our priority list… Learn how to easily prioritize your partner and implement a partner-care practice and a nurturing approach.

Start creating your Radiant & Successful Relationship!

Sign Up Here!

 

PS2 – As always, we are here for you! If you need more support creating your successful relationship and meaningful life, we are here to help. I’d be honored to speak with you about how we can help you. Schedule a Get Acquainted Call to connect, discuss how we can help you and how to get started. Look forward to Connecting with you!

 

PS3 – Related Posts:
Feeling stuck in your relationship?
How you perpetuate your stuckness
Keep having the same old fight?
Your partner not meeting your needs?
Is the dance of connection and disconnection driving you insane?
Treat yourself, please your partner…
Experience the healing of a self-care practice
Use self-care as your way to Higher Abundance
Caring is not just for mothers
How to reprogram yourself
Are you a strong partnership?
Do you support each other?
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™

 

 

Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

When you keep having the same fight…

When you keep having the same fight…

Sometimes things don’t seem to be working out the way we’d prefer in our life and our relationship. We don’t lose the weight. We don’t get the promotion or hit our sales target. We haven’t gotten engaged yet. We keep having the same fight. There is a reason for this. The reason is that we are getting in our own way…

Now, I say with lots of love and compassion, for who wants to hear it’s their fault they are having a hard time. Right?

But the reality is that we are carrying on in a way that doesn’t allow us to create our best relationship and best life. Here are a few things that are getting in our way…

We have:

1 – A victim and powerless mentality, a negativity bias, poor boundaries and lack of personal ownership

2 – Lacking communication skills, inability to apologize or apologize well, no repair know-how and how to make amends

3 – Unresolved wounds and repeating patterns, poor self-regulation, no self-care practice

4 – A guarded heart, low connection and intimacy ability, lack of relationship prioritization

5 – Distractions, over commitment, disorganization, no collaboration system

When we don’t attend to our own healing, growth, development and evolution, we get in our own way of having the relationship and life we want. We are only able to create as far as how we are operating allows us to go…

We can only create as far as we have with how we currently are.

To continue to create our best relationship and our best life, we need to continue to create our best selves…

We can’t change our world if we don’t change first, it’s impossible:

1 – We can’t see the beauty that is our Partner if we continue to blame everything on them and lack personal ownership…

2 – We can’t communicate better if we don’t improve our communication skills.

3 – We can’t stay steady in the face of a trigger or a fight if we can’t self-regulate, if we lack resilience.

4 – We can’t connect and have intimacy, passion and fun if we don’t make time for our partner and relationship and have a guarded heart.

5 – We can’t have a joyful, peaceful, harmonious and lovely home if we can’t collaborate in running our joint life…

So, you see whatever is troubling you, whatever you haven’t been able to achieve yet, it’s because you are getting in your own way… Sorry, don’t shoot the messenger. LOL

But you can create what you want after all. You just have to go about it a bit differently than you have been…

 

When you keep having the same fight…

You keep having the same fight because:

1 – You keep looking at your partner the same way. You keep doing the same things that bother your partner.

2 – You keep addressing their disappointment or complaint the same way.

3- You chase them or push them away as usual.

4 – You don’t consistently give them love in their love language.

5 – And, your ego gets in the way about how things should be done.

Well? You see what predicament you get yourself in?

Do you see that any change in any of these areas would give you a different outcome? How you actually have control over how things play out…?

You are super powerful. When you decide that you’ll show up differently and set that intention, you do. And, when you do, so does your partner… Voila!

Of course, I don’t want to oversimplify this. I know that the best of intentions don’t always stick… But therein lays information for your use as well, to help you continue to heal, grow and develop.

The more you work your intentions and learn from what doesn’t work, the more you can change, and the more you change, the more you can address your world and your partner differently…

And that is all it takes to create something different, to create the relationship and life you want.

ASSIGNMENT: Decide that you mean business and that you will change so you can create change in your relationship and your life… 

I – Take note that the items in the lists above are related the 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™:

1 – Context & Mindset

2 – Communication & Alignment

3 – Clarity & Dynamics

4 – Connection & Intimacy

5 – Collaboration & Partnership

II – Identify the Element that needs most of your attention

III – Play with that Element until you acquire some mastery, for example:

1 – Embrace a Relationship Enrichment Mindset (your partner is your Partner with a couple P…)

2 – Improve communication, apology and repair skills

3 – Identify your wounds and triggers, change your response to your partner’s, implement a rich self-care practice

4 – Set up Connection Habits, implement a Dating Partner Protocol, safe-guard couple time

5 – Simplify your life and cut down on commitments, establish a Collaboration System

IV – Move on to the other Elements that also need attention, keep cycling through them till you see your Transformation…

 

As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.

Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

PS1 – This month’s Themed Webinar is on April 26th, at 5 pm ET:

Mothering for Relationship Success
A Grounding, Caring & Nurturing Approach to Uplevel Your Relationship

After the novelty wears off in a relationship, partners have a tendency to go back to business as usual. They go back to the business of doing their life where the relationship and their partner no longer are the primary focus.

In this webinar, we’ll cover Mothering ourselves and our partner. When we employ Mothering, we increase acceptance, belonging, connection, and love in our relationship. Crucial ingredients for a successful relationship.

Increase Self-Love
It is challenging to give and receive love when our own self-love is lacking… Learn how to better connect with yourself and grace yourself with gentleness, acceptance, and compassion.

Improve Self-Care
Too often we claim we don’t have time for self-care, or self-care is the first thing to go when things get hectic. Learn how to implement a rich and sustainable self-care practice.

Embrace Partner-Care
Our relationship and our partner usually don’t even make it to our priority list… Learn how to easily prioritize your partner and implement a partner-care practice and a nurturing approach.

Start creating your Radiant & Successful Relationship!

Sign Up Here!

 

PS2 – As always, we are here for you! If you need more support creating your successful relationship and meaningful life, we are here to help. I’d be honored to speak with you about how we can help you. Schedule a Get Acquainted Call to connect, discuss how we can help you and how to get started. Look forward to Connecting with you!

 

PS3 – Related Posts:
Feeling stuck in your relationship?
How you perpetuate your stuckness
Keep having the same old fight?
Your partner not meeting your needs?
Is the dance of connection and disconnection driving you insane?
Treat yourself, please your partner…
Experience the healing of a self-care practice
Use self-care as your way to Higher Abundance
Caring is not just for mothers
How to reprogram yourself
Are you a strong partnership?
Do you support each other?
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™

 

 

Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Spring to a new level in your relationship and life

Spring to a new level in your relationship and life

Springtime is a time for renewal and New Beginnings… It is an opportunity to start fresh again. It is a time to refresh, course correct and reset. All changes in season and any new start, provide the opportunity for New Beginnings… Spring is special in this endeavor as the newness is so obvious with nature springing back to life… There is momentum in this… This is your chance to spring to a new level in your relationship and life…

Does that sound scary, or empowering and motivating to you? Taking full ownership and being fully accountable for what we create in our life can be scary. It might seem easier to stick our head in the sand, to blame others or circumstances, and to settle than to play full out.

The truth is that when we live our life with lack of full ownership, our life is actually more challenging and more painful…

It is not easy to:

  • Constantly be blown with the wind and with the whim of others
  • Let others dictate our fate and live an unfulfilled life
  • Live inauthentically for fear of judgement, criticism and rejection
  • Commit, show up and engage only 99%,  allowing for waffling
  • Own our voice, our truth, our desires and our potential
  • Express all of ourselves
  • Shine our Radiance

I invite you to play full out! But to do that you need to know yourself, own yourself and apply yourself. Are you ready for that?

You might even be scared to say Yes… If this is you, no worries we are here to support you. We’ll go nice and easy, yet powerfully, so you can stick with us and honor your Journey…

The first thing to do is to start getting in touch with what you want your life to be like, truly… No hedging, no lip service, no settling, no excuses. If nothing mattered but to create the life you desired, what would it look like?

What would your life look like, if your life depended on it…?

This means really exploring your desires for the whole of your life… This means being curious, thinking deeply, visualizing and meditating on what is really in your heart and soul…

Make some time to be with yourself and to really play, explore and dream about these. We are taking this concept beyond identifying your Ideal Day and accumulating Ideal Days to create your Best Life. That is a hack to get you going and to get you on your right path…

Now, we are going for creating our Best Life 2.0!

 

The 8 Robust Life Areas™

Break down your life into specific Life Areas and flesh out what you desire in each.

  1. Spiritual – Spirituality/religion, mindfulness, Purpose, creativity
  2. Physical – Health including brain health, vitality, fitness
  3. Emotional – Resilience, self/co-regulation, managing states of being
  4. Mental – Mental health, mindset, intellect, character/virtues
  5. Relational – Love and romantic relationship, parenting, family
  6. Social – Friendships, community and networks
  7. Financial – Wealth, profession, business, contribution/legacy
  8. LifeStyle – Environments, routines, life engagement

 

The 3 Life Areas Hack™

I usually address the above in a condensed 3 Life Areas format with an overarching Self-care and Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle theme…

  1. Wellness – Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Mental
  2. Connection – Relational, Social
  3. Success – Financial

Regardless of where you are in your Journey, the approach you choose to play with, and your relationship status, it behooves us to prioritize our relationship/s as this is indicated for our Best Life

If we are not ok as a couple, everything in our life suffers… If we create a radiant and successful relationship then everything else in our life is easier… Everything in our life depends on it…

 

Visioning Your Best Relationship…

The relationship with our partner is one of the most important relationships in our life. Unfortunately, we usually don’t view it and treat it as such.

Our partner is our Life Partner… They are a Gift to our Journey…

Together we are better than alone. Together we are better than one. Together we create something bigger than ourselves and can make a larger Impact… There is Synergy in our togetherness and what a waste not to tap into it…

To create your Best Relationship, you first have to know what your Best Relationship would look like… Then you can go about creating it.

Below is a guide for things to consider when envisioning and designing your Best Relationship. They are of course presented as the 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™ developed to assist couples create the relationship they desire…

Element1 – Context & Mindset

Here is where you explore what you believe about attracting your mate, being in a romantic relationship, the purpose of the relationship, commitment, trust, devotion and loyalty, priorities, partnership, expectations, interdependence, synergy, contribution, impact and anything else important to you.

What would a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle look like for you? What would prioritizing your partner look like for you? What would being all in look like for you…?

Element2 – Communication & Alignment

Here is where you explore what being on the same page with your partner would look and feel like. You’d explore beliefs and preferences about communication and being aligned. And, on what topics you would want to get on the same page.

How would communication take place? How would you safeguard your bond and eliminate communication roadblocks? What communication skills and tools would you acquire?

Element3 – Clarity & Dynamics

Here is where you explore what you believe and understand about relationship dynamics, repeating patterns, and getting stuck. And what kind of relationship dynamics you’d prefer. You’d also explore your beliefs about feelings, emotions, and needs. Including thoughts about worthiness and self-esteem, vulnerability and shame, sympathy and compassion.

How would you build resilience and increase self-esteem? How would you increase your EQ? How would you meet your own and each other’s needs?

Element4 – Connection & Intimacy

Here is where you explore what you believe about and your preferences for togetherness vs separateness, connection, love, bond, masculinity and femininity, romance, sensuality, attraction, desire, passion, intimacy, sexuality, stimulation, play, fun, adventure, and friendship.

How would you increase your connection, intimacy and fun? How would you need to Be to experience a deep, synergistic long-lasting love? How do you need to stretch to allow the love you want?

Element5 – Collaboration & Partnership

Here is where you explore what Life Partnership, creating a Strong Partnership, and collaborating mean to you. You’ll explore what kind of family and life you want to create. How you’d want to be a strong partnership. How you want to design and approach creating the life you desire.

How do you want to run your business of life? What kind of parents do you want to be? How do you want to live your life? What kind of lifestyle do you want to have? What kind of legacy you want to leave?

By reading the above, you are already ahead of the game… You can’t unread it and unearth the seeds planted… Your brain already has the instructions to take stock of your life, and your relationship; and, to strive for more…

You’ll start picking up momentum and getting massive traction in your transformation by:

  • Exploring what’s informing your current experience in your relationship
  • Exploring what kind of relationship you desire
  • Consciously and intentionally choosing how to create your Best Relationship  

It all starts with a Vision. That’s what you are doing today. You are fleshing out and owning how you truly want your relationship to be. This is the first step in making it happen…

 

ASSIGNMENT:  Choose the approach that best resonates for you at this time, playing with:

  • The 8 Robust Life Areas™
  • The 3 Life Areas Hack™
  • Visioning Your Best Relationship™ using the 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™

The mere exercise of bringing light to these will start you on your transformation…

 

As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.

Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

PS1 – This month’s Themed Webinar is on March 29th, at 5 pm ET:

Spring Your Relationship to Life-
Embrace a New Beginning, Create the Relationship You Desire

It’s very easy to fall into a rut, numb out, shut down and disengage from your relationship… Especially nowadays with the crazy world we are living in…

Develop Your Vision
Enough with playing small and settling for a stale and mediocre relationship. You CAN have a radiant and successful relationship! Learn to dream it up. If you can imagine it, you can create it…

Change Your Approach
Enough with the drama, the judgment and the pointing fingers. Take charge of how you show up, what you contribute, and how you invest in your relationship. Bring your extraordinary and dazzling…

Uplevel Your Habits
Enough with the neglect, lack of focus, and minimal effort. Prioritize your partner and your relationship. If you want an amazing relationship, you have to create it. What you nourish, flourishes…

Start creating your Radiant & Successful Relationship!

Sign Up Here!

 

PS2 – As always, we are here for you! If you need more support creating your successful relationship and meaningful life, we are here to help. I’d be honored to speak with you about how we can help you. Schedule a Get Acquainted Call to connect, discuss how we can help you and how to get started. Look forward to Connecting with you!

 

PS3 – Related Posts: 
Is your partner always late? 
Are you controlling? 
When your partner baits you 
When do you get on your partner’s nerves? 
How much do you get your partner?  
Can you change your partner? 
Can’t get your partner to do what you want? 
How do you show your commitment?   
What about compassion?  
Are you tapping into your partnership synergy? 
The 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™  
Embrace a life-changing mindset  
Enhance your life with better boundaries!  
Step up your communication skills!   
Change your repeating patterns and stuckness!  
Are you mastering how to connect?   
Create your strongest partnership possible

 

   Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Low desire and lack of intimacy epidemic

Low desire and lack of intimacy epidemic

This time of year, and specially with everything that’s going on, we might be feeling raw, sensitive, antsy, edgy, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, unmotivated, lethargic, detached numb, and such. These feelings are more compounded when we are feeling disconnected, might be experiencing a bout of low intimacy, and have fewer opportunities for fun. This doesn’t help the low desire and lack of intimacy epidemic of the modern-day couple… 

A challenging trifecta: Feeling disconnected from our partner is usually accompanied by low desire and intimacy.  

We need connection to be physically intimate (usually women, female energy) and/or we need physical intimacy to be connected (usually men, male energy)… This creates a conundrum for couples.

This conundrum has a tendency to create an impasse for couples, for the partners might need the opposite of what the other needs to become intimate and feel connected… Made even more challenging by physical intimacy also depending on the partners’ desire (libido, sex drive) and their ability to be intimate…

You’d think it’d be easy to enjoy the benefit and gift of physical intimacy in our relationship!

There is so much that gets in the way of desire and intimacy for partners…

The 5 culprits of low intimacy (totally exacerbated with the ongoing pandemic!). In a nutshell:

  1. Exhaustion – you are too tired, your libido is dead
  2. Domesticity – your roles are squashing your male/female attraction energy
  3. Expectations – the noise in your head doesn’t allow you to get in your body
  4. Enmeshment – you are too together to experience the allure
  5. Boredom – there isn’t enough positive stimulation in your life and relationship

Your desire is at the mercy of your physiology and psychology:

  • Hormones which regulate energy, drive, motivation, mood and even your arousal
  • Self-esteem
  • Body image

Your desire and intimacy are at risk with any actual physical or medical conditions:

  • Cardiovascular disease
  • Diabetes
  • Prostate cancer
  • Breast cancer
  • Childbirth
  • Menopause/Andropause
  • To name a few

Stress has a huge impact on your wellbeing, lifestyle and coping choices which in turn also affect your libido. We all have our stresses, and our current world is just heaping it on. And no comment on the impact on lifestyle…

And of course, then we have the actual couple dynamics, and most likely your power struggle, at play to boot!

Not for nothing the modern-day couple (and specially during this pandemic times) has difficulties sustaining consistent and satisfying intimacy in their relationship.

There are a ton of entry points from where to address your current low desire and lack of intimacy. Addressing any (or combo as needed) of the items mentioned above will make a difference in your current state of affairs.

But I want to offer you the most direct path for more immediate relief… You see, your libido, sexuality and physical intimacy with your partner is what you make of it… At the end of the day, desire and intimacy is an inside job…

You have control over your own desire… When you focus on what your partner is doing, how they look, how they are showing up, what they contribute and such, you are extinguishing your desire… Desire is not about your partner. Desire is about you!

Desire as an inside job has to do with How You Choose To:

So, you see, desire and intimacy are not something that are happening out there and that depend on your partner. Desire and intimacy are something you create…

When you shift to looking at desire and intimacy as something you create, then you can create as much of it as you want!

ASSIGNMENT: Watch what scripts came up for you as you read this post, and as you percolate with this concept…

1. Mind how you:

        • Victimize yourself
        • Get in your partner’s circle
        • Entertain your limiting believes
        • Sabotage intimacy
        • Have a hard time trusting and letting go
        • Are stingy giving, receiving, allowing
        • Are not fully Being…

2. Make a commitment to Be in your relationship…

3. Select the item that resonates the most as something that gets in the way of your intimacy and decide to address it full on!

        • Create health and vitality
        • Look at your partner (get out of their circle!)
        • Interact and bring Swag
        • Be available and have energy
        • Ready yourself for sexy time
        • Relax and show up
        • Be grace-full, grateful, and generous 

Taking charge of your desire and intimacy is super empowering and exhilarating! What better time to embrace this as we continue to be impacted by the pandemic, are starting a new year, and are right around the corner from Valentine’s Day…

Make a commitment to reset your relationship and your marriage. Why not create a new marriage, or new relationship?! Let’s do this!

Happy Desiring!

 

PS1 –This month’s complimentary Themed Webinar is on January 29th, at 5 pm ET.  

3 Key Ingredients for Rekindling Love & Desire- Learn how to increase your connection, intimacy and fun

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, lonely, taken for granted, neglected, bored, boring and blah, and like roommates or ships passing in the night, this webinar is for you. All relationships experience slumps where there is disconnect and low or lack of intimacy. Where the partners question their compatibility, their attraction, and even their commitment. In this webinar you’ll learn how to increase your connection, intimacy and fun for more love, spark and joy in your relationship.

Increase Connection – Learn how to create, protect and sustain your connection, establish reciprocal loving, and generate closeness 
Increase Intimacy – Learn how to eliminate the blocks to desire, increase attraction and implement a Successful Date Night™ protocol
Increase Fun – Learn how to become more compatible, enjoy each other’s company, and have amazing experiences

You can create a radiant relationship!
Sign Up Here!

 

PS2 – As always, we are here for you! If you need more support creating your successful relationship and meaningful life, we are here to help. I’d be honored to speak with you about how we can help you. Schedule a Get Acquainted Call to connect, discuss how we can help you and how to get started. Look forward to Connecting with you!

 

PS3 – Related Posts: 
Are you ready for deeper connection with your spouse? 
Break the barrier to connection
Flexibility enables connection
Perception, mood and connection
Do you play with your partner?
Are you giving enough to your honey?
Are you being nice to your partner?
Do you have dirty thoughts about your partner?
Follow the path to passion and synergy
How to get more love from your partner
Yes, you can love too much…
How focusing can save your relationship
How to save your relationship
Start a new relationship, with your partner
Resource yourself, uplevel your marriage

 

   Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Intentional habits to glide into the New Year with ease

Intentional habits to glide into the New Year with ease

Happy New Year! The promise of new beginnings is just beyond alluring, is it not? Whether you are rocking it or are struggling, a new ride is just fun! We’ve had a heck of a 2020, and though there is light at the end of the tunnel 2021 is off to a slow start. I say we go with the flow, with tenderness and compassion. I say we glide into the new year with ease. 

Tenderness, compassion and ease does not mean taking it easy, being lazy or dragging butt! It just means doing it right and with finesse…

Last month we covered a whole process to help you wrap up the year and get set up to start the new one right. We:

~ Created space for the new by decluttering to lay the groundwork (step1)

~ Paved the way for the new by getting into the right frame of mind (step2)

~ Designed the strategy for the new by creating a vision and establishing goals (step3)

Now we get ready to ride the new ride well… We make sure we are resourced to do what it takes, to stay the course and to enjoy the way.

Now is the time to embrace a joy, connection and abundance mindset… To shift our focus from doing to Being… You can wrestle the thing to the ground and still make nothing happen, or not get the ultimate results you are looking for, if you approach it solely by doing… The key is to infuse it with your Being…

When you integrate doing and being in your life is when the Magic happens…

So, this is the focus of today’s message, how to live your life integrating doing and being to create a beautiful symphony…

The way I like to approach this is to first create the container for the experience, the music hall for the orchestra. Every instrument has its place and time to make its appearance in the masterpiece being played, so does everything in your life.

This is why I often write about Designing our Ideal Day, the music hall, and about embracing an Enrichment Lifestyle, the orchestra, and tending to it with Intentional Habits™, the instruments, so we can easily and masterfully create our Best Life, Transcendental music…

Using Habits to manage our doing and being is a brilliant way of staying focused on the right ladder against the right wall in all areas of our life while infusing it with our Presence… This is the easiest way to get all the right instruments in the right places so they can create their music…

Let’s say that you are focusing on upleveling your wellness (joy), connection (love) and success/creation/impact (abundance), as these are typically the areas people focus on improving… And, that you have goals for these for the year. And, that you are scratching your head as to how to achieve the goals. You might know what you need to do but are worried that you won’t stick with it to get the results desired.

This is where the Habits come in. They keep you focused and going without white-knuckling or depending solely on limited willpower. They help you effortlessly imbue your day with what is important to you, stay focused, and stay the course. 

Therefore, adding wellness, connection and success habits to your intentional ideal day that include Being mindful and present is the simplest and surest way to create Magic…

WELLNESS – this includes all kinds of tactics for increasing wellbeing, health, vitality, and longevity. This area is where I usually house the Self-Care Practice, which I strongly encourage includes a Mindfulness Practice

I place a strong emphasis on this area because it is extremely difficult to be able to connect with others and be successful if we are not connected to ourselves first… and functioning optimally…

Having a rich self-care practice, practicing loving ourselves…, not only keeps us healthy and energetic but it helps us with self-regulation and resilience. This is a huge aspect of personal development and evolution…

When we don’t abandon ourselves, we don’t worry about others not being there for us.

And, we bring cleaner energy and resourcefulness to our interactions… This is what helps us show up well for our loved ones, and enables us to create our meaningful and impactful life…

So, when you say you don’t have time for self-care, I say you don’t have time to not have time for self-care!

Some suggestions for your Wellness Habits:

  • Early rising
  • Meditation, prayer, affirmations, visualization, silence
  • Journaling, Morning Pages, inspirational reading or listening
  • Set an intention for the day
  • Skin brushing, face rolling, body rolling, massage, infrared light, cold showers, silk or satin sheets, eye-drops
  • Juicing, smoothies, warm lemon water (with turmeric, ginger, and cayenne pepper), green teas, structured water
  • Exercise Routine (weight training, HIIT, stretching), jaw exerciser, good posture
  • Supplements, probiotics, lectin shield, colon cleanse
  • Plant based gluten and lectin free nutrition
  • Reduce carbs, caffeine and alcohol
  • Intermittent fasting, early dinners, Sleep Healthy Brain Aid (2 tbl MCT Oil and 2 tbl of collagen powder 2 hours before bedtime), daily floss and mouth wash, brain exercises
  • Screenless time, social media detox, reduce blue light
  • Early to bed
  • Gratitude List, Gratitude Journal

CONNECTION – this is about connecting with our higher power, with our self, with our loved ones, with our community and with the world at large… The relationships we create are the strongest indicator of resilience, vitality and longevity… Our connection to other people and our relationships are what give our life meaning

Connection gives us safety, security, and belonging primal drivers in our Human Experience. Connection is what makes relationships special, what gives us joy, what makes our heart sing. In connection we know we exist…

In connection we know we are having a Human Experience…

When partners complain about feeling disconnected from their partner they are not just whining, they are sharing they are in pain. They are in existential pain… Specially as they are also disconnected from themselves… Which we know they are because they feel disconnected from their partner…

You see when we complain we are feeling disconnected from our partner, we are actually complaining we are disconnected from ourselves…

We can’t fully connect with our partner if we are disconnected from ourselves…

 So, for those of us who are super achievers in an effort to be known and to meet the need of knowing we exist… we are shooting ourselves on the foot with all the doing… All the doing is holding ourselves back from being in relationship with ourselves and others… All the doing is holding ourselves back from Being itself…

This is why a Self-care Practice is paramount in personal development and relationship enrichment work… This allows us to Be, to be with ourselves, and to know we exist… Then we can have a relationship with our partner and enhance the level of intimacy in our relationship

When people set goals for the year, they usually neglect setting goals for their relationship… When people design their Best Life, they usually don’t flesh out how they want to Be in their relationship… When people think about their Lifestyle, they don’t necessarily think of a creating a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™

A relationship enrichment lifestyle means we keep our connection and our partner forefront in our mind. The easiest way to do that without being consumed with our relationship at the expense of what we are trying to live is to create Connection Habits™

Some suggestions for your Connection Habits:

  • Meditation
  • Morning Coffee
  • Midday Check-in
  • Midday Connection Outreaches
  • Random Check-ins
  • Late Afternoon Sync
  • Anytime Connection Outreaches
  • Evening Reentry Ritual
  • Dinner
  • Weekly Special Dinner
  • Woo Wednesday
  • Family Night
  • Couple Time
  • Evening Ritual
  • Bedtime Ritual
  • Sexy Time
  • Friday Friends Night
  • Volunteer/Impact Projects Time
  • Saturday Date Night
  • Special Date Night
  • Sunday Ritual

SUCCESS – is whatever makes us feel we achieved what we are Meant to achieve, what we Desire, what our Purpose is, what we want our Human Experience to be… Success is not about having a gazillion dollars… Though being wealthy and financial freedom can very well be part of our definition, in and of itself is empty and not rewarding…

Financial success is more meaningful and rewarding when achieved through providing value…

Success as it is usually measured and at the expense of health and relationships is not success in my book. The degrees, awards, companies, assets, material things and the like don’t necessarily make for a richer Human Experience… They might, depending on how they are achieved and utilized…

Pursuing this success for its own sake defeats the purpose of Life… So, when you are told you have to sacrifice, that something needs to give and such to be successful, I say be weary. Don’t let that limiting mindset pollute your mind and hold you back from your fullest potential…

Being intentional about your life allows you to create your Best Life! 

The key here is to go big on the experience you want to have… To identify and own your Personal Prime Directive™ (PPD), to own your brilliance, to own all of you and to put it to work as wisely as possible… It’s not about doing more… It’s about doing it better…

Doing it better means we use our PPD as a filter for commitments, projects, activities, tasks and all the rest of it. It means we are selective and focused on the target of our attention. And, it means we are resolute in our approach…

Some suggestions for your Success Habits:

  • Embrace Graceful TimeMapping™
  • Plan your week flow on Sunday
  • Share any important scheduling with your partner on Sunday
  • Join the 5 AM Club (this means you go to sleep earlier also!)
  • Have an empowering Morning Routine
  • Review your goals
  • Use the first hour on Monday to plan out your work for the week
  • Schedule your work into your TimeMap (batch work, chunk work)
  • Build in margin and transition times into your routine
  • Build in bio and recharge breaks into your routine
  • Protect your focus work time from distractions
  • Assign time to read email and return calls
  • Assign minimal time to check the news and social media
  • Attend 1-3 networking events per week
  • Have 2 coffees or networking conversations per week
  • Connect with 3 center of influence contacts per day, nurture your connections
  • Use templates, check lists and/or automate repeatable tasks
  • Subscribe to Smart Delegation
  • Delegate or outsource items outside your brilliance
  • Have outstanding follow through, keep your word
  • Wrap-up the workday and the week, do daily and weekly reviews
  • Use a MasterMind, a coach, and other support
  • Always be learning and growing
  • Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, develop courage

Now the three habits list can be a bit overwhelming at first glance if you are new to building habits and taking charge of your life…

Don’t worry, Rome wasn’t built in a day… You don’t have to do all of them or too many to start getting results in your life, and certainly you don’t have to start too many at once. The key is to start somewhere and keep going. You’ll be making incredible leaps in upleveling your life in no time!

ASSIGNMENT: Select one tactic from each list to add to your repertoire…

1.  With each tactic create a corresponding Wellness, Connection and Success Habit. Each habit is to be a concrete quantifiable repeatable behavior at the frequency of your choice that gets plopped into your Daily Routine.

2. Calendar your Habits – build then into your schedule… Adjust your schedule as necessary…

3. For each habit make sure you prep before you are to start them – have all the information, instructions, supplies, gadgetry, tools, resources, etc. to make sure the behavior can be carried out at its allotted time…

Getting good at creating habits makes a world of difference when it comes to upleveling your life… This ensures you implement and carryout consistently and effortlessly anything your heart desires. Before you know it you are Living your Best Life!

Happy Living!

PS1 – Monthly Complimentary Themed Webinar, now on replay:
Get Ready Now to Start the New Year Right-
3 Steps for Hitting the Ground Running in 2021 

-Do the Prep work – declutter and clean, wrap-up and closure, acknowledge and celebrate 
-Do the Vision work – align, dream, envision 
-Do the Plan work – set the right goals and intentions…

This is an extremely powerful process you can’t do without… It’ll help you align with your authentic and higher self, your purpose, your brilliance and your values, and create a plan for more results, wellness, and connection… Start the new year right! 
Sign Up Here! 


PS2 – Check out Related Posts:
Giving to yourself for ultimate success
Give the Gift of Understanding and Compassion…
Giving, meaning and success
Letting go, productivity and meaningful holidays
Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments
Intentionally plan your holidays and year-end
Feeling funky, visioning and strategic planning
Create your best relationship year
Are you achieving your relationship goals?
How to waltz into the New Year!
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™


PS3 – Get your
Quotes & Quickies™ for this post!

 

   Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

End-of-year closure, clearance and celebration (Step2)

End-of-year closure, clearance and celebration (Step2)

Yes, 2020 has been challenging. Yes, 2021 seems to want to start on a rough foot also… But we don’t have to let it! It is our job to create our best life regardless of what is happening out there, to the best of our ability… Today’s topic is the second step in putting a bow on it and launching into the New Year with pizzaz. I’ll cover how to do closure, clearance and celebration for paving the path for the new year. 

In the last issue I covered decluttering and minimalism to lay the groundwork for setting up the new year right… That allowed us to create wiggle way for maneuvering and Being… It created space for new flow, new energy, new creations…

Before we fill up our new wonderful space again with any kind of stuff, it behooves us to align with our desires and purpose so we lean the ladder against the right wall… And, we have to be on the right frame of mind to do that… Today’s topic is about getting on the right frame of mind…

We have to: 
~ Close and wrap unfinished business. 
~ Clear and let go of what’s already passed. 
~ Celebrate and acknowledge our efforts, accomplishments and awesomeness. 

When we ready ourselves and take the time to pave the right path is when we have an easier Journey…

Our Journey has in it exactly what it’s supposed to have – the gifts, the loved ones, the connections, the resources, the challenges and all the rest of it. It is all for us… We signed up for this human experience to have a full Human Experience… So, let’s do that. Let’s make sure we don’t miss what’s under our noses and don’t live our life by default just banging around…

When we intentionally show up to our life is when we are able to create our successful and radiant relationship with our Partner and our meaningful and all-around abundant life…

End-of-year Step2 helps us get in the right frame of mind, in our right mind…, to set and pursue the right intentions for the life we want and create an amazing relationship with our partner…

We have to close and wrap unfinished business – This can refer to different things for each of us depending on what is happening in our lives. It can range from finally choosing a wedding date, to putting our house on the market, to getting a full medical check-up, to closing the deal, to wrapping up projects, to addressing childhood wounds or resentments…

It’s important to identify for yourself what is taking up the most space, time, energy, and other resources and making a commitment to finally addressing this. Get the monkey off your back!

The best way to do that is to pay attention to what’s the first thing that came up for you as you read the above… Or, to get quiet and ask yourself what needs closure… Pay attention to what comes up for you. Don’t question it, whatever comes up needs to get addressed if you are to make headways in creating the relationship and life you want…

Make a Wrap-Up Plan to address this – completing the project, having the tough conversation, setting more effective boundaries, taking a specific action, and so forth. Crank it baby!

We have to clear and let go of what’s already passed or is keeping us stuck – This is challenging as a lot of feelings are tied up with this one… And, the things to let go can take on any flavor as well. They can range from feeling angry for how we were raised, feeling let down for not getting engaged yet, feeling disappointed or frustrated at not getting pregnant, feeling jealous about the attention someone else is getting, feeling envious of somebody else’s successes, feeling resentment for being passed on for a promotion or not getting a contract, feeling devastated or grief over a loss, and so on…

All this angst is heavy. It is imperative that we clear the air and let go to allow for lightness, flow and ease…

The best way to do this is to select the thing that keeps running in your mind and torturing you. If you have a running script riddled with negativity, lack, and heaviness, you are probably not feeling very well… And, you are probably not doing very well… This will show up in your health, relationship, finances and the rest of your life… Do a letting go process or ritual to let go…

Write a Goodbye Letter about the situation (not be sent to anyone), really fleshing out your feelings and addressing the grievance. This is an empowering way to get it out of your system and externalizing it. Make sure you cover everything that’s bothering you and then close it with understanding for it, compassion for yourself and a gesture to release your grip on it…

We have to celebrate and acknowledge our efforts, accomplishments and awesomeness – Yay, finally on to the good one! This is the one that even though it’s wonderful we still take it for granted. It is so important to validate ourselves, to recognize our contributions, to acknowledge our efforts, investment and dedication, to celebrate our accomplishments and to own our awesomeness.

But do we do it? No. We are really good at checking things off our list and moving on. We are really good at being humble. We are really good at not taking credit. We are really good at minimizing our efforts and contributions. We are really good at putting ourselves down, looking for the flaws and what needs improvement. We are really good at using our lack filter and honoring our negativity bias… Being good at these things is not good! LOL

The best gift we can give ourselves, our loved ones and the world at large, is to turn this on its head. So, the best approach is to target that negativity bias, lack mentality and self-deprecating mindset…

It really is time to stop this… It is time to love on yourself… Make a Love Myself List of all that you weathered this year, all that you accomplished, all the ways in that you stretched, learned, and showed up with the best self you could muster… Delight in the awesomeness. Give yourself a pat on the back!

When you start tackling these processes, you’ll automatically start feeling a shift… It might feel very uncomfortable at first as you’ll be stirring stuff up… This is worthy price to pay, I promise. Stay the course regardless of how uncomfortable you get…

You’ll soon see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you’ll start experiencing the positives of the shift… If you get too uncomfortable before the light at the end of the tunnel and it becomes challenging for you, by all means get support. Don’t just stop and quit your transformation… We want you ready for 2021 and to keep creating your best life!

ASSIGNMENT: This assignment is super powerful when done to completion, please don’t cheat yourself:

      • Create undisturbed time to play with this Step
      • Create an inspiring setting to play in – bring a candle, essential oil, journal, preferred day beverage, wrap or blanket, whatever makes you feel homey and pampered
      • Ground yourself with a mediation, prayer, deep breathing or such
      • Start your process – go through each of the Step’s processes: 
        ~ Close – Make a Wrap-Up Plan 
        ~ Clear – Write a Goodbye Letter 
        ~ Celebrate – Make a Love Myself List

The more you dive into your process and embody your experience, the more you’ll allow for your shift… And, the more you’ll have the right frame of mind for the last step in getting ready for the new year… Give it your best and enjoy!

Our tendency to go-go, to jump in, to push forward, to start new things before closing old ones, and such does not serve us… Let’s be intentional about our life instead, let’s live the life we want…

Happy Paving!

 

PS1 – Monthly Complimentary Themed Webinar, 12/18 at 5 pm ET: 
Get Ready Now to Start the New Year Right-
3 Steps for Hitting the Ground Running in 2021 

-Do the Prep work – declutter and clean, wrap-up and closure, acknowledge and celebrate 
-Do the Vision work – align, dream, envision 
-Do the Plan work – set the right goals and intentions…

This is an extremely powerful process you can’t do without… It’ll help you align with your authentic and higher self, your purpose, your brilliance and your values, and create a plan for more results, wellness, and connection… Start the new year right! 
Sign Up Here! 
(also available in replay!)


PS2 – Check out Related Posts:
Giving to yourself for ultimate success
Give the Gift of Understanding and Compassion…
Giving, meaning and success
Letting go, productivity and meaningful holidays
Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments
Intentionally plan your holidays and year-end
Feeling funky, visioning and strategic planning
Create your best relationship year
Are you achieving your relationship goals?
How to waltz into the New Year!
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™


PS3 – Get your Quotes & Quickies™ for this post!

 

   Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Pin It on Pinterest