At the publishing of this, I’m on a road trip cross country. Yay!! Super grateful at having the freedom to pretty much pick up and go. Little ahead planning time went into making this happen. It’s so satisfying to enjoy such liberties and create experiences to treasure. This is the result of living a life by Design…
It is not always easy to create the life we want, to design our own life, as we have a tendency to get in our own way… We have tendency to react and live our life by default… We might have limiting beliefs that hold us back from Being our Authentic Self. These block our access to our internal guidance system, our intuition, our gifts, our Awesomeness.
Being disconnected from our Self, is painful… This is the source of our angst in life… When we are disconnected from our Self, we go through life just banging around and suffering in one way or another…
Limiting beliefs flow from three fundamental human ego driven core belief systems. Somewhere along the way, usually very early on in our childhood through interactions with our care-takers, we internalized one or more of these:
Powerless
Unlovable
Unworthy
If you were to process any situation in your life, any pain you are currently undergoing, you will find at least one of these as the underlying feeling. These are accompanied by related distorted thoughts about yourself and the world that perpetuate the stuck situation and resulting pain.
When we insist on subscribing to these, either by shear stubbornness or just plain ignorance, we stay disconnected from our Self, our internal resources, and therefore unable to effect changes in our life. It becomes impossible to design and create the life we desire.
We have a choice to make. Do we want to live our fullest life? Do we want to live our most enjoyable and rewarding life? Do we want to have an amazing Journey? Do we want to live our life by Design? If so, we consistently focus in connecting to our Self. When we are Connected to our Self, we Know we are powerful, lovable and worthy… This is the antidote!!! It’s that’s simple…
We can choose to be Connected. We can choose to Be our best Self. We can choose to have our best Life. We have so much freedom that we can even choose bondage… Living feeling powerless, unlovable, and/or unworthy and not to resolving this is to choose to live in bondage… The choice is ours. What we create is a result of our choices.
So, our job to remove obstacles that prevent us from connecting to our Self.
Our job is to mind our thoughts and clean up any that lead to bad feelings…
Our job is to mind how we feel and subscribe to feel-good activities that make our heart sing…
Our job is to mind what we do and find the positive in all…
And, our job is to focus on connecting to our Self with Mindfulness Practices… This is the shortcut… You can immediately have full access to your Self and the resources to design and create the life you desire. The life you came to live in this life experience.
You can live your life by Design, start by choosing to do so…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Choosing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a list of thoughts you recognize as limiting beliefs… Or, that you are aware have held you back from the life you desire…
Go through each and debunk them! Feel the release of their hold on you…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Woohoo!! Happy Summer!! A lot of schools let out this week around these parts and coupled with the warmth and brightness of the sun, it really feels like summer now. Happy, happy. Don’t you just love the feeling of “vacation brain”? When things that normally grab your attention or feel like major priorities just don’t have the same urgency?
When you move slower than usual and you don’t feel bad about it? When your daily agenda actually seems reasonable and doesn’t look like it was meant to be completed over a week? When you can easily play hooky and it actually doesn’t set you back? When you are more productive with less effort? Ah, to embracing “vacation brain” full time…
I’m attributing the experience of “vacation brain” to the context around me. As we all know though, children being home and getting ready to go away for an extended amount of time are not normally conducive to peace of mind… Usually “vacation brain” doesn’t kick-in till the vacation in underway, if we are actually able to relax and enjoy… So, let’s rename and reframe.
How about “Zen-Brain”? However reasonable the initial association of “feeling on vacation” was to school-being-out and sunshine, something else is the inspiration. I find that continued focus on Transcendental Mindset™ and Mindfulness Practices gives way to Zen-Brain™. This has been part of my recent cocktail, and oh boy, what a pay-off! Feels like I’m on vacation every day!
Here is a preliminary attempt at “bottling” this, flowing from the structure of my Success Strategy™…
Embrace / Own Thyself (Context & Mindset)
Be authentic, claim your Gifts, establish-respect boundaries, let others be
I find that living by these makes life joyous. I find that embracing these makes life rewarding. I find that investing in how we do ourselves makes our life what we desire it to be.
How is your Transcendental Mindset? Are you able to let go of fear/control, guilt/blame, shame/inadequacies, grief/loss, lies/defenses, illusion/separateness, attachments/outcomes? This is easier said than done. Identify which of the above gives you the hardest time.
Make it your mission to conquer it and reap the benefits. What do you need to address this area of your life? Break it down and start putting stuff in place to support you in your Journey.
You’ll find that as you conquer these, life becomes so much more delightful and gratifying. Be gentle, caring and compassionate with yourself as you tackle this. This work is not for the faint of heart. Here is your first gold star for even considering tackling this. Keep rewarding yourself along way! Enjoy!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Embracing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Meditate, journal, vision, discuss, ponder, whatever, what these mean to you…
Be authentic
Be integrous
Be intentional
Be mindful
Be masterful
Play with integrating them more into your thoughts and interactions. Weave these in more and more into your Existence… Feel them, Be them.
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I’m so thrilled to be with you right now as our awareness comes together in this moment in time. Isn’t it amazing that we can be together even when we are not together in the old-fashion-physical-traditional way?
How are you feeling? How are you doing? How are things going? What is new and fabulous in your life? Even that terrific cup of coffee you had this morning makes the cut to answer this question… Find the yummy even when all seems bleak…
At this end, I’m over the moon excited as we are putting finishing touches on yet another milestone project in the Practice. We are going completely paperless! This is huge for me, as I’m a creative type that needs to see it and touch it… I use major platforms to work and collaborate yet have my daily to-do and follow up items on a sticky pad.
If you hang with me, you’ve seen it! LOL Regardless, our records and related processes are finally catching up with rest of Us! Woohoo, happy dance!
This is so extremely freeing. I feel I can finally cut the rope to this massive boulder I’ve been dragging along. Phew! It’s interesting the things we tolerate in our life without realizing how they impact us… As we’ve been transitioning to our new electronic record, case management and client care platform I realize how much nonsense and minutiae backend work we’ve been doing.
As I like to cross my T’s and dot my I’s, and as I’m immensely conscientious, I’ve managed to create a nightmare of this. As we would anytime we shoot for perfection… But, as I continue on my own growth Journey every aspect of my life is becoming Lighter…
We set up our lives to protect ourselves and indulge our perceived limitations… We carry along boulders of all sizes as security blankets, and we work hard at carrying them!
We construct paradigms that are expensive to our lives. Imagine how much more fluid, creative and innovative we could be without these. Imagine how much freer, lighter and joyous our life could be… Imagine what an incredible life you’d Mastermind if fear wasn’t the order of the day… The Universe is literally the limit…
So, it’s time to assess our life and recognize what we’ve been tolerating. What boulders we’ve constructed and insist on carrying along. What box or closet we keep choosing to live in. What limiting beliefs we refuse to clean up.
It’s time we recognize how we’ve created bondage for ourselves. How we’ve imprisoned ourselves and disconnected ourselves from all that’s Good. How we hold ourselves back from the relationship(s) and life we truly desire. It’s time to think outside the box, better, bigger. It’s time to Transcend minutiae and fear… It’s time to let go. It’s time to Trust. It’s time to Live. It’s time to Shine.
What boulder have you created in your life that is dampening your Brilliance? That is keeping you small. That is holding you back. That doesn’t serve you, your loved ones and the world… Whatever is coming up for you might really shake you… Be gentle, accepting and loving towards yourself.
Recognize that you are Amazing and all you have to do is Connect with that… How about it? Try connecting with your Awesomeness, and start deconstructing and letting go of your boulder…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Liberating!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Address your biggest time suck or pain in your life.
Gently put a system in place to eradicate this obstacle…
Take your time, think it through, implement intentionally and with lots of selfcare on the way…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I have written before, and you probably already know from your own knowledge base, that we are all Energy, that everything is a form of energy… We are not actually solid. Though because we use our “humanness”, we experience reality as we do… Reality as we think it is, just “isn’t”… If reality isn’t as we think it is, this has implications for everything in our lives… Give this a listen for some background and other resources on this concept…
Everything is energy, even our thoughts are energy. Energy particles/waves vibrate at different frequencies embodying different forms… Remember chemistry class? Medium vibration produces water, in high vibration produces steam/gas, and low vibration produces ice. This is a crude analogy, but the same concept applies to thoughts…
The higher the vibration of our thoughts (positive), the lighter the outcome – more gaseous, vaporous, ethereal, subjective, non-physical, spiritual, expansive…
The lower the vibration of our thoughts (negative), the heavier the outcome – more material, concrete, specific, measurable, objective, corporeal, finite…
Thoughts/energy produce (create, manifest) at the frequency they vibrate… This is how we create our own reality. This is how we create our life. We literally think and create. What we observe and focus on, we create more of… What we expect (think will happen), we’ll get…
If we have a few different thoughts/expectations (vibrations) on the same subject, we muddy the waters if you may, and we don’t get clear outcomes… We don’t get water, steam or ice, we get mud!
The implications of this are huge as you can already surmise. If we have negative thoughts/expectations, they have low vibrations, and create their negative content… Obviously the opposite is also true.
If we have positive thoughts/expectations, they have a high vibration, and therefore create their positive content… You can probably see where I’m going with this in applicability to your relationship, but before I connect the dots here are a couple of other points on this.
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, Mind Over Matter. The more post-modern version of this is, Mind Over Mind. We get/create what we Mind/Think… Doesn’t it behoove us to be Mindful…? Doesn’t it behoove us to make are dominant thoughts what we want, not what we don’t want nor to have rampant and unintentional thoughts??
And, let’s take this a step further. How about we stop minding/observing how things supposedly are…? How about we stop minding/observing our Self as we think we are…? Read that again… How about we stop minding/observing our Partner as we think they are…? How about we break this thinking habit, the habit of thinking that reality is…?
How about we open up to the possibilities? How about we open up to new expectations? How about we open up to expect what we want? How about we open up to the possibility of Being how we want to be…? How about we Are as we wish…? How about we operate from who Are…? And, that my friends is immediate Transformation…
If we Mind our life from this place, all our dilemmas disappear… I promise… Just mind your opposing, conflicting, ambivalent, muddy expectations… If you are clean, you’ll get clean outcomes… And, the Universe is the limit…
What does this mean for your relationship? Take a guess… What would happen to your conflict? What would happen to your disagreements? What would happen to the fighting? What would happen to your connection? What would happen to your collaboration? If you no longer observe/expect your partner to disappoint you, let you down, betray you, annoy you and such, they won’t…!
The truth is in the eye of the beholder… You observe/interpret/decide “what is”, you assign the meaning, you Be and operate as you wish, you create the relationship you want… You create… You are that powerful… … Don’t take my word for it. Experiment and see for yourself…
Choose today to stop fighting, and act/Be as you wish you Are. See your partner as you wish they Are… Address the moment from this new vantage point… Stop the drama. Stop the fighting. Enjoy the new Being, and creating of the relationship you want…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Minding!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Take a beat to ponder about who you Are… Transcend your usual view of your Self…
Really connect with who you Are… Grab all parts of yourself, all the parts you love, and mush them together. Now feel your creation. Feel the essence of what you created.
Feel the Essence of you. Feel You. Embrace You. From now on, flow from this You…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It’s interested that I’ve been finding myself saying to my daughter and husband, To get the right answer (answer to what we really want to know), we have to ask the right question. This has come up in situations in our personal life.
But, as I heard myself say this for the nth time, I realized there was actually something more meaningful and deeper going on for me than addressing a mundane activity or fact in relationship with my family.
I observed that working in supporting people create the relationship and life they desire, that we usually start in a place that is not feeling so good for them. They come see us because they are struggling, they are stuck, they are feeling hopeless, or simply not feeling well. There is Gap between where they are, and where they would like to be…
Actually, there is a gap between how they are Being and experiencing themselves and their world, and who they really are and the blessings they already in their world… There is a gap between themselves as they know themselves and their Higher-Self, Authentic Self… They are not really owning their brilliance, gifts, power, worthiness and such. They are usually victimizing themselves and operating from ego and defenses… I call this being dirty. LOL
When we operate from a clean and fully owned sense of self, our life becomes instantaneously amazing…
So, this brings me back to the asking of the right questions…
Consider these:
What’s the problem?
What’s bothering you?
What’s wrong?
What’s the matter with you?
Why did you do that?
Don’t you love me anymore?
Why are you so lazy?
To mention a few.
These questions are terrible! They imply brokenness, lack of resources, blame and criticism, and more. If we were to answer these questions, we’d answer with disempowerment, defensives, and such…
In my having my moment with this, I further embraced proper questioning as a therapeutic and general life changing approach, as this can be done outside the therapy room by and with anyone.
Consider these:
What aspects of you would you like me to see more?
What part of you is trying to come out and play?
How can I create safety for how you are trying to be yourself more?
How can I support your Authentic Self?
What topics can we talk about that highlight who we really are?
What can we put in place that pleases our Higher Self?
If we were operating from our Higher Self, how might we see this differently?
If we were operating from our Higher Self, what would we do differently?
If we have a higher-road approach to this, how would we respond?
If we consider the larger impact, how might we tackle this differently?
If I put my ego aside and used my heart right now, I would see that…
Eh? Isn’t that much better?? This is your H.W. Play with this concept. Ask everybody higher level questions… For in the asking something different, we create something different… In the better answers, we instantaneously experience something better… You’ll be surprised how well people respond and what inspiration ensues…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Questioning!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Think of a topic or situation, and have a brainstorm of how to ask productive and inspiring questions about it…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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