When we are looking to create change, uplevel, and make a move in our relationship and our life, we might find that we don’t know where to start. Or that we have tried all the things we know and ran out of ideas and so are feeling hopeless. Or that we feel so stuck we want to give up. Or that we know what we have to do but are too scared to take a first step or an action towards making a change. All this is part of the human experience when we are trying to better our situation, create what we desire and continue to evolve to the best version of ourselves…
But not to fret, even though this is part of the human experience, it doesn’t mean that we have to endure additional suffering. It doesn’t have to be hard at the end of the day.
If we were to actually fully own ourselves and not our partner or others, if we stayed in our circle. If we focused on honoring ourselves, our own evolution and growth, and how we show up to our relationship and our life instead of using excuses, victimizing ourselves and blaming others. We’d truly be empowered and able to create what we desire in all areas of our life…
What if we were to focus on keeping our side of the street clean… On showing up with our best self- resourced, self-regulated and soothed, boundaried, compassionate, attuned and kind and generous. Can you image how fast your interactions would shift? How fast your relationship would uplevel? I can, I see it day in and day out not only in my own relationship but in countless others with the couple therapy work we do.
What is some of the work to do?
~ Declutter your relationship and life perspective- clean up distorted thinking ~ Clear, deconstruct and deprogram patterns- heal and release old wounds and stuck emotions ~ Detox from defensive and reactive mechanisms- upgrade coping mechanisms and self-regulation ~ Reset stories, scripts and narratives- replace the victim with a victor mindset ~ Clean up your approach to your partner and your circumstances- try different tactics, skills and tools
When you let go of the old, the hurts, wounds, patterns, practices, habits, characteristics, and such, you create space to become more who you are- your better version of you, creating a refresh for the new to immerge in all areas of your life…
Here is to a replenishing and shifting refresh and to all the newness!
In today’s podcast episode, I have a lovely and fun conversation with Cinthia Hiett, also a relationship expert, where we discuss toxic interactions in relationship, dealing with an immature spouse or an immature partner, what codependency looks like in relationship and in the world, how to set boundaries, growing ourselves up and dealing with our inner child, and so much more.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we are entering the season of cleaning, decluttering, cleansing, clearing, and detoxing for a refresh and to create space for newness, for a rebirth, we are faced with the choice of how much, if at all, we play with this. It is up to us how we choose to do our Journey. Are we proactive and victors, or are we passive and victims in our relationship and our life… Whatever our usual, we are still faced with a choice. If you are usually passive, here is a chance to step up your game.
And let me tell you, we can play full out or simply select an area to focus on and go about it gently. Whatever our style of doing things, we can honor that if that serves us or we can choose to change even that if we are looking to really uplevel our relationship and our life…
Usually how we do anything is how we do everything…
But we can empower ourselves and start making different choices. We can take more ownership and choose to do things differently, to change habits, to deprogram, to become our best self, the best partner, and the best human we can…
We can choose to stop being who we usually are (a collection of habits and patterns…) or at least relieve the parts that no longer serve us to uplevel ourselves. Things we’d address include our sensitivities, pet-peeves, coping mechanisms, defenses, reactions, and anything else that’s our go to…
Here is our chance to get rid of what we no longer want, what doesn’t work, what gets in our way and holds us back, what numbs, mutes, covers and snuffs us out… Anything that gets in the way of our authenticity, and our ability to be who we truly are…
We might have done a good amount of clearing (deprogramming and healing) already but have a bit more to do, or we might have not even started getting our house in order… This is where we get to choose how much we’ll tackle and where we want to focus.
Areas to focus on include but are not exclusive to:
We might not even know where to start, if we even want to, and never mind choosing how much to do. The whole thing might feel overwhelming.
Which brings me to what I want to offer today, and that is to check-in with yourself about this. Not to impetuously decide on something, as a reaction, from ego, or from the top of your head. Give yourself a chance to really get in touch with what investment would make the most sense for you. Where do you want to place your focus and energy to most move the needle forward.
To that end, a great solution for this is to practice Sitting in Silence…
Sitting in silence promotes:
Relaxation and stress relief
Calm and inner peace
Brain development
Physical healing
Mental health
Processing
Concentration and focus
Productivity
Learning
Self-awareness
Intuition
Creativity
Patience
Mindfulness
Sleep
As you get all these benefits, you’ll have a greater sense of where you need to place your focus and energy. You’ll know what areas need to be addressed first so you can leverage them for better and faster results, and ease…
And most importantly you’ll be doing the resourcing, deprogramming, and healing to begin with. You can’t go wrong! You’ll be already doing what you want to do before you even start doing it. Bam!
To draw the benefits of sitting in silence to support your refresh and help you create space for the new, be proactive about adding this to your daily routine… Put your devise away for a few minutes, and gift yourself this refresh for newness.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Wow, the year is almost over! Here is a recap of the Season’s focus. In case you missed it, you might want to take a look at these to see what still applies and what you need to embrace to gracefully waltz into the New Year!
This work is for me equivalent of being a kid in a candy store! I love organizing, planning, strategizing, structuring, systematizing and the like. And as you already know I’m obviously all about healing, growing, developing, evolving, honoring and taking care of ourselves so we can do in the life what we are meant to do. So that we can be amazing for our loved ones. So that we can make a difference in all we do.
This leads me to sharing the BONUS ASPECT of HYP! Aspect Bonus has 5 Parts:
Part 1 – Completing any year end rituals and wrap-up tasks
Part 2 – Designing new habits and daily flowing routine informed by your Strategic Plan
Part 4 – Selecting your New Year Intention, your Focus Term™
Part 5 – Having a New Year Tradition™ to kick-off the New Year!
These are the things that when considered and intentionally and systematically addressed help us create our extraordinary life. We did not choose to be in this world to have an ordinary, boring or disastrous life. We chose to have a full, amazing, wondrous and Brilliant Human Experience™. Are you owning that yet?
Let me bring your attention to Part 4: Selecting your Focus Term™
I’ve written before, and you probably subscribe to this philosophy as well, that I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. It is a known fact that most Resolutions are not adhered to past the first month of the year at best. Also, by the third week of the year, the post holidays and winter blues set in…
This is a terrible way to progress into the year! It is our responsibility to ourselves to be as preventative around this as possible. This is why I don’t subscribe / prescribe New Year’s Resolutions. Why make a dismal situation worse?
Instead I offer to go in with a gentle, loving, nurturing and compassionate approach. All the completed work outlined above will guarantee a better experience and serve as a preventative measure… Additionally, I love utilizing the concept of using a Focus Term™ to serve as our North Star for the year.
This is not a challenge to our will power as a New Year’s Resolution might feel like. This is a holding, loving hand to support us in our Journey throughout the year.
This is a word that captures the theme of the goals selected during your strategizing, or a desired approach to your life… This is the essence of the Focus for the upcoming year, and which becomes a mantra, focus lens, or filter as you flow through the Journey.
As you are preparing to ring in the New Year, think about your *Focus Term. Here are some to consider:
*These can be used as guiding or playing Themes as well
We did it! You are now equipped with everything you need to rock the New Year! I realize that all this can be a lot of work and feel overwhelming. Just take small bites and keep at it. The investment is well worth it!!!
Stay tuned for how to swing into the new year and setting it up for success in the next issue when I share more about inspiration, motivation, and discipline.
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Waltzing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Recharge to start the New Year right!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
What do you usually think of when you think of the “f…” word? We probably both think of the same four-letter word, but for today let’s make our “f…” word a more meaningful word. F is for Focus. F is for Freedom. I’ve written before that what we focus on persists.
What we focus on either enables us or enslaves us… We have the power to create our awesome ongoing experience… All we have to do is choose. We have to exercise our freedom of choice. This applies to everything in our lives.
Choose. Focus. Create. This is the power of freedom. When we choose to focus on things we value, appreciate and that make sense to us we enable, activate, expand, manifest our creativity, passion, uniqueness, gifts, Life. When we forgo our power of choice and proceed on automatic we usually focus on lack, things that go wrong, problems and disappointments, how others are not leaving up to our expectations and how unhappy we are.
It’s even worse when you consciously choose to focus on these! For guess what? You won’t have an awesome life or relationship, and certainly not happiness if you live your life with these shackles on. What we focus on persists…
Exercising intentional choice creates happiness. Doing otherwise is to crush our spirit, not honor our Soul. Here is the trick. Choose what you want. Choose how you want to feel. Choose how you want things to look like. Choose the experiences you want to have. Choose what the picture on the canvas of your life and relationship is to be. Don’t have a general or vague idea about these. Actually Choose, for then that is what Is…
Dream, choose, focus, and take massive decisive action. This is the formula to creating the life and relationship you want. You can create anything you want. When you make intentional choices, set goals, put plans and systems in place and invest in them consistently there is no way you can not create what you set out to, or something better…
This is the beauty of owning our freedom. When we exercise our freedom of choice, magnificent things happen. This is the beauty of owning our free will. When we exercise our free will we are in alignment with our Soul (Higher Power, Universe…).
This is where the magic is. Don’t be bound by limiting and narrow expectations, mindset, views, skills, scripts, legacies – take charge, clean these up and expand them. Stay open. Follow your gut (your Core Self, Authentic Self, Soul) talking to you and guiding you… Allow the magic in. Choose to have a magnificent life and relationship. And, so it is…
Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life… Please share your takeaways on our Blog!
Happy Choosing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment This weekend take inventory of areas in your life where you’ve lost your voice, or haven’t developed your voice yet… This business of not having a voice is holding you back from creating the life and relationship you desire…
Pick an area where you’ve allowed your Self to be muted and unmute yourself… Learn to mindfully share and express your voice in this area to develop it to your liking… Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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