Some might believe they love unconditionally, because they believe that’s what’s expected and what’s appropriate in love… But upon further inspection it is obvious that their love is conditional… Is there a right way to love? Should we love unconditionally? Or should we, what some might consider, be smart about it and love conditionally?
In my book, love has nothing to do with conditions…
Now, this doesn’t mean we put up with abusive situations, or situations that don’t honor who we are, or that don’t support our purpose and our life Journey… This also doesn’t mean we are to be doormats and have no expectations in our relationship… All these things could be true, and we could still love the other…
So, when people believe love is conditional on certain things, that doesn’t really add up because we can obviously love no matter what, codependence and other dynamics and conditions aside…
But because we can love no matter what, it doesn’t mean we put up with a less than radiant and successful relationship… One that helps us become our best self… One that enriches us and makes our journey better…
~ We invest in cultivating our love, so it doesn’t get tied up with conditions and eroded by unmet expectations…
~ We invest in creating the best relationship to support and help expand our love…
This means we create the perfect space for our love. And this doesn’t mean a perfect relationship- there is no such thing. But it means a relationship in progress to its fullest potential…
Now this is journey worth investing in- playing in this realm and experiencing the rewards it yields is one of the best feelings… It’s so satisfying and fulfilling to take the interactions to the next level where both partners feel fully heard, understood, and accepted. Where they feel appreciated for who they are and what they contribute to the relationship and the other’s life. Where they feel deeply connected, and nourished and enlivened by their interactions.
Let’s commit to playing in the realm of having a relationship in progress to its fullest potential, where our love can thrive and shine…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We are experiencing a stronger need for connection and love in the collective, some of us might be more aware and attuned to that than others. This has always been a theme in the work we do with our couples in couples therapyand marriage counseling. But there seems to be a deeper longing and more significant desire for more affection, connection, intimacy, and communing.
We might be experiencing this as life lacking luster, as an identity crisis, as aimlessness or boredom, as loss, sadness, or grief, as anger or disillusionment, as friction, frustration, drama, or conflict, or in a myriad of different ways…
We might be feeling really uncomfortable in our own skins, in relationship with our partner, in our professions or careers, in our other roles, and in our place in life in general at this time… We might be feeling a little lost, upside down or alone… We might be wondering what’s the meaning of everything and what’s our place in it…
Does this resonate?
These existential questions are not to be feared, and definitely not ignored and swept under the rug.
These are just signs that we are ready to grow, to upgrade, to uplevel… To evolve… To awaken…
This just means that we are ready to take our human experience to new heights. That’s very cool in my book, and I say bring it!
But what does this mean for our everyday? For our feelings? For being in relationship with our partner? And everything else?
Well, I say we take it easy and address what is the most uncomfortable first… Where are you suffering the most? What is keeping you up at night? What is giving you the most grief, anxiety and agita?
Then focus on addressing that at the root. Not by throwing out the baby with the bath water- as in leaving your partner, leaving your job, or otherwise jumping ship. You might have to eventually do that if it serves your purpose and honors your life. But don’t jump to conclusions.
Be curious first about where you are and what you need and how to go about meeting that need….
Focus on learning you, learning your partner, learning new skills, tools and talents… All this will support you in creating a more exciting, enjoyable, and fun Journey…
For additional support, check out this month’s Integration Experience on this topic that’s now on replay: Relate Intentionally and Authentically to Blossom Your Love. It’s available through our Radiance Membership at no additional cost.
And, in today’s podcast episode I have an energizing conversation with Francois Lupien on just what it takes to change things around. We talk about the power of our internal dialogue and how to have impactful interactions with others, how to go from victim of circumstances to creator of our own reality, how to reframe situations for more happiness and joy in our relationship and our life, and he offered a golden tactic to take things to the next level.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It is a common belief that committed relationships seem to fizzle out over time or not make it very long term. But this doesn’t have to be the case, in reality our relationship can get better with time… The thing is that because of that belief, the way that we set up our lives, and social trends, we just don’t expect to have a radiant and successful long-term relationship where connection and intimacy just get better with time. We are not all in from the get-go and settle from mediocre until it no longer works… A relationship not nurtured doesn’t thrive…
Addressing unresolved issues and properly getting our needs met
Deepening our connection and increasing our intimacy
Creating a smooth collaboration and strong partnership with our partner
When we take our partner and our relationship for granted, the connection withers away, our intimate life takes a hit, and interactions get frayed with friction and conflict. We find ourselves fighting more and / or becoming more and more distant until there is barely a semblance of a relationship left…
Living in the same home and having children in common is not substantiative enough to call that relationship your “Relationship”.
A rewarding, satisfying, radiant and successful relationship is one where the partners: ~ Feel at home when they are together. ~ Are (healthily, not codependently) invested in the other’s wellbeing and success ~ Deeply understand and accept each other ~ Can truly be themselves and they are cherished for who they are ~ Have shared values and dreams
This is the radiant and successful relationship we can create with our partner, and what we are to protect and sustain once we achieve it.
The key here is first of all, not let it go south when we first start a new relationship. To set it up well from the beginning, with boundaries, reasonable expectations, honesty, trustworthiness, vulnerability, and authenticity. And then to continue to invest in those qualities and other powerful relational tactics to ensure we set up a strong foundation.
But even after all that, and especially if our foundation is weak to begin with, we might get sidetracked with life where we start neglecting our relationship and taking our partner for granted. Hopefully we have the awareness that this is happening, and we can nip that in the bud and course correct to get back to a strong place.
And if for some reason we don’t catch the downward slope early enough, or we just can’t seem to stop what appears to be a train wreck, that’s ok- just recommit to getting back to a good place and then invest in doing so.
Getting professional help, in the form of couple therapy, marriage counselingor relationship coaching, would be beneficial at any of these stages, but it’s definitely needed if you are struggling and can’t seem to get your head above water. The sooner you get support the greater the chances of setting things on the right course and creating what you desire. Don’t wait too long, sometimes the damage that gets made is very difficult to undo.
In most cases you can get back to that wonderful place and create something amazing… You CAN create the relationship you desire…
So regardless of the status and state of your relationship, commit to investing in making it awesome. Commit to ongoingly, and even systematically, focus on nourishing your relationshipso it has a chance to thrive.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
If we are looking for new beginnings, a fresh start or a rebirth, there is a very special tool that can support this endeavor. And that is the tool of Rituals… Rituals infuse our interactions and relationship with the elixir of life… They bring aliveness, vibrancy, and joy to the special moments in our life. Even in their cuteness and simplicity like coloring eggs for Easter, they are super powerful in conveying meaning, creating connection, and transmitting love…
Rituals demarcate the passage of time, acknowledge special circumstances and life transitions, and help us celebrate our loved ones and our life. They provide a sense of cohesiveness and belonging, a way of cherishing ourselves, they pass on legacy and meaning, they deepen our experiences, and they serve as healing agents.
Rituals are like super foods for the soul!
The thing about them is that they hold us, shape us, sustain us, and connect us. They provide a structure for creating special moments and meaning out of the seeming passage of time. They influence our beliefs and experiences. They nourish us and they create a bond between us.
Embracing rituals in our daily routines, celebrations, rites of passage and life-cycle transitions with our partner and in our family is a powerful and enriching tool that takes our experience to new heights…
The key is to be mindful, intentional, graceful, and compassionate in our approach to creating them. Where everyone’s needs and perspectives get addressed and incorporated. These heal, strengthen, and enrich us, our relationships and our life.
Regardless of our preference for a big to-do or something simple, having everyone involved have a say on how the ritual or experience plays out and contribute in their own way is super validating, transformative, and uplifting.
They provide us with a chance to get out of the material and everyday, into the esoteric realm of meaning, joy, and love. Rituals are a wonderful addition to our refresh helping us upgrade, uplevel and upshift into our fresh start, a rebirth…
In this companion podcast episode, I’m honored to share time with the wonderful Dr. Evan Imber-Black a prominent contributor to the Marriage and Family Therapy profession. We have a lovely conversation about the significance of rituals, their purpose, what makes a great ritual, and how they are impactful in special family and relationship circumstances like step-families and multicultural families.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We have a new season, and Spring at that. With it comes the promise of fresh starts and new beginnings. As nature comes alive we let go of the gloomy, the sedentary, and the stale. Any new season or transitions actually bring with them the opportunity for new beginnings, but Spring is really special as we witness mother nature have its fresh start. This is a perfect moment to ride this wave of momentum for newness.
This is an opportunity to let of things that suffocate us, that unground us, and misalign us…
We can focus our “Spring Cleaning” in 3 main areas:
1~ Environments, routines, calendar, workload, projects, systems and such 2~ Relationship, family, friendships, community, networks 3~ Body, mind and spirit…
When we are cluttered and toxic in these areas we experience:
1~ Overload and exhaustion 2~ Conflict and disconnect 3~ Unwellness and disease
Then it behooves us to declutter, detox, and deprogram these areas to release any stuck energy and create bandwidth and space for the new…
For each area we can do an overhaul or a minor tweak, whatever makes sense for our life at this time.
Here are minor tweaks for immediate results:
1~ Clean out a few little spots in your environments that are cluttered 2~ Change your self-talk or interactions with your loved ones to have a more accepting, compassionate and kind tone 3~ Identity a trigger that still gets you and address it at the core- identify the driving need behind it and meet it yourself and through your relationship… (This is Couples Therapy at its best to change emotional programming…)
Of course, we can do so much in each of the above areas. And, you are welcome to do as much as your heart desires. Everything can stand to be revisited, streamlined, or spruced up… But know that even the littlest “spring cleaning” will create a refresh. Be wise about what you choose, go for what gives the largest impact… That gives the largest release and creates the most spaciousness…
We talked about clearing for your refreshing to allow the newness… But I’d like to go further with this and offer ways to ride the momentum of the freshness that’s in the air and to capitalize on your refresh to actually realize new beginnings…
And that is aligning with the sacredness of life for balance, flow, and aliveness…
The first way to do that is to honor and sync with the cycles of life: ~ nature’s seasons ~ lunar cycle ~ hormonal cycle
The second way is to embrace divine nourishing practices: ~ eat nutritious food, hydrate and sleep well… ~ relate authentically with openness and vulnerability… ~ pray, meditate, reflect…
When you create the spaciousness and infuse it with nourishment, you’ll get the aliveness, connection and upleveling you are seeking. This is how you uplevel your self, your relationship, and your life…
This refresh will quite down all the noise in your life… This quite, stillness, expands and elevates your consciousness, where you become more who you really are, one with Oneness. And this is the access point to accelerate the transformations, creations, manifestations, and realizations in your life… You have access to all you need… Just open up to this new realization and let the newnessflow in…
The only thing left in this process is to be really intentional about what kind of newness you want… And then take a first step towards creating something new… Towards creating a new beginning…
Here is to your refresh and all the newness you desire…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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