Nature doesn’t have to be the only thing that blooms… We are also inclined to bloom if we allow ourselves, and cultivate the characteristics we desire… If we have a desire for a certain character strength or characteristic, we already have it inside ourselves… It’s just lying dormant…
Whatever desire we have, we also the ability to manifest it…Desires are gifts that just need springing. We can spring them by cultivating them… Remember, that what we focus on grows… Transform your relationship using your strengths…
A few clients are coming to mind as I write this, as they have worked on cultivating certain strengths with tremendous success. One in particular, focused on being a planner. She found that not planning ahead created a lot of anxiety for her, misbehaving from her children, and tension with her husband. Their life was limited and stress ridden.
When she started focusing on becoming a planner, she created more flow and ease in her home, the children were no longer so clingy and symptomatic, the evening routines became a lot smoother, she started expanding other areas of her personal life and pursuing different interests.
She established more of a social life alone and with her husband, and traveling a lot more! They are a different family and couple now…
She couldn’t have become a planner if she didn’t have the desire for it and didn’t already possess this within her…
The ability to manifest character strengths is available to all of us…
The thing about this is that we usually settle for who we think we are, which is a very limited version of ourselves consisting primarily of ego patterns, defenses, and bad habits… That is not who we are!
Whatever troubles us, whatever bothers us, whatever we are jealous of in others or even judge, whatever we desire, all have hints of parts of us not fully blossomed yet. They are still just in seed form…
~ Our job is to pay attention to what triggers us, what we crave, what we believe we lack, what we’d like more of, what we admire, and the like for hints of how we might not be fully owning and embracing ourselves. These are signs of a strength, a gift, a calling, buried deep inside that is itching to come out to play…
By paying attention to our inklings and what grabs our attention, we can start recognizing a desire buried within. There is a gift, talent, passion, calling, strength, we have that we don’t realize we do!
~ This might be challenging to do if we are super noise in our life, we are riddled with drama, are hypersensitive and reactive, can’t be alone and in silence, are consistently in the grind and doing mode, have a chaotic and/or stuffed routine, and such. When we are so noisy and operating from defenses and habits, we can’t be still and quiet enough to hear the messages we have inside…
And it’s even more challenging if we doubt that we have treasures inside us, that we are magnificent, and that we are always evolving and becoming better versions of ourselves. For then, we don’t even know to try to make changes to get quiet to start embracing all of ourselves…
It can be simple to get started…
Regardless of our personal state, the state of our relationship, and the state of our life in general, all we have to do is to get in touch with our desire for more… To decide not to settle. To decide to embrace our unfolding, our becoming, our evolution, our expansion…
If this is all we do, we will awaken what is trying to birth through us… Then we can start hearing and feeling the calling, the messages, the nagging from inside… Then we can start connecting with the aspects of ourselves that we haven’t fully own yet… And then we can name what it is we want to cultivate for it is there and ready to emerge… Just like my client the planner, owning just that one characteristic was transformative for her and her family.
Then we cultivate…
Once we name it- we have to feel it, recognize it in ourself, set up situations and activities that call for it, explore it, play with it, experiment using it, and keep practicing it until it gets integrated and more automatic in our way of being and our way of life…
Our relationship is the perfect playground for us to play with strengths, gifts, talents and all the other awesomeness we are trying to own and embrace more…
This is a way to continue to become our best self, our authentic self, more Aligned with our Higher Self- just become more and more who we are and creating our most radiant and successful relationship…
Play with cultivating anything you blossom- whatever you focus on grows, whatever you nurture flourishes…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
With Springtime we embrace the chance for rebirth and for new beginnings, a cleansing of what we don’t need, no longer serves us, and holds us back to create space for the new… How about doing more of that specifically in our relationship? How about putting focus on removing any toxicity from our interactions…
As we continue our personal development Journey, becoming more who we are every day, we encounter friction in our relationship that is meant for our growth at the end of the day… Our circumstances and our partner are a mere projection of what’s inside us… If there is something we do not like, it behooves us to investigate how that is about us, and for us…
Instead of reacting by pointing the finger and focusing on how our partner has fallen short of our expectations and desires, how about we take personal inventory instead…
It is toxic to react with our egoic patterns regardless of how our partner shows up… This might be a tough pill to swallow, but there is a reason why something triggers you and other things don’t, and why what triggers you might not trigger someone else… All of that is just for you…
So how about keeping that knowledge handy to inform our awareness and perception, so we can more easily not react and be toxic in our relationship…
If we know what patterns we tend to create, what we want to change, and who we want to become, then let’s start by not showing up with more of the usual… Let’s be intentional about how we show up.
That intentionality can start first thing in the morning, when you choose to:
~ Remember you are more than your memories, your identity, your egoic patterns, and your habits…
~ Align with your true self, not the story of you…
~ Show up this day with who you are becoming and what kind of partner you want to be…
You have a choice in all this. Yes, the habitual aspect makes it difficult to do something different but that’s where the power of intentionality comes in. Activate it first thing in the morning and reset it throughout the day when you find you have veered off course…
You have a choice on:
How to take something your partner said, did or didn’t do
How you’ll respond or address it
What you’ll focus on
What you show up with
How you continue the interaction
What you do after
How you move on
Where you go from there
How you choose to show up the rest of the time
How you show love…
Let your intentions guide you and serve as your beacon of Light…
APPLICATION: Acknowledge and embrace that your partner is a gift to your growth and evolution…
~ Identify where the most friction happens in your relationship and what info is there for your growth- the friction is not because your partner sucks!
~ Identify what kind of being you really are deep inside and how you need to be to Become more who you really are…
~ Identify what kind of responses, actions, and new habits and practices you’ll start to support your becoming and your radiant relationship…
Cultivating your Best Self and bringing it to your interactions consistently is what the doctor ordered to manifest your radiant relationship, and meaningful life…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We are living in strange times… We are living in a world where everything as we knew it is no longer… We are living in a world that is merely a construction, an illusion, a simulation, a matrix… A world where all the major institutions are just structures to provide some kind of order, but have turned out to be more stifling, constricting and enslaving than anything else…
We are living in a world where We are even constructions… Who we know ourselves to be is but an accumulation of thought patterns, belief systems, emotional patterns, defenses, and habits. We are stuck with the habit of playing ourselves… We created an identity, a persona, that we are using as the character in the story of our life…
This can be super sad, demoralizing, and scary, on one hand. But on the other hand, oh boy, it can be magnificently illuminating, empowering, and freeing…
Now we can choose to continue to live in this nightmare, hell on earth, and mass illusion, or we can choose to wake up and take charge of our own life. We can choose to become more and more who we truly are, embrace our Becoming. We can own our true identify and play a better Game of Life…
Life as we know it is so ingrained in us that considering anything else just seems ridiculous, out of a fiction book or movie, and for the crazy in an asylum…
Who we know ourselves to be is so ingrained in us that considering anything else is totally unthinkable, destabilizing, and ungrounding…
I know that the more I heal, upgrade, and deconstruct myself that the more I feel like I’m floating, flowing through my life, much lighter and unencumbered… It’s a bit surreal at times, a wondrous experience…
One of the side effects is disengaging from the rush, distractions, and drama we are used to living with, a good thing. And a much bigger desire to just take it easy… Really weird and different for me as you might know… The desire to help, guide, and inspire others remains minus the seduction for the grind, another good thing.
As I continue to shed layers of trauma, protection, defenses, programs, patterns, habits, and the like, it becomes more and more evident that who I knew myself to be was the identity I needed to assume to deal with myself and how I perceived my world…
When we allow ourselves to operate from our small and lower self, with blinders on, wearing a thick identity mask, we are but ensuring our own suffering and demise.
This is when we get sick, our relationship is stagnant, our children have issues, things break, we hit a career wall, we can’t get rid of debt, and so on. We experience lack in all areas of our life in spite of the evidence of abundance all around us…
So, we have a choice, continue to hang on to the identity of who we think we are and continue the struggle, the grind, the enslavement we currently buy into in this world. Or we choose freedom, we choose to own the radiant Beings we are without the masks and the illusion of the identity we forced on ourselves…
We can choose to own our vulnerabilities, our perfect imperfections, our pain, and all the mechanisms we used to survive the world we believed we were in… We can choose how we look at our world and to show up to it with our full authentic selves. This goes without saying, that we’d do this in our relationship as well… And what a different relationship that becomes…
When we disentangle ourselves from the constructions, the illusions, is when we are truly free, empowered, and sovereign… This is when we are truly living the life we are supposed to live, and when we win at the Game of Life…
You have a choice to continue to hang on to your identify as you know it, or to start taking off the mask for a more real and magnificent life experience…
APPLICATION: Ponder on how you identify yourself, the positive and the negative characteristics, how you create your appearance, how you choose to show up to your life, how you choose to do your days…
~ Note, that these are all choices…
~ Note, that you can choose a different perspective, to feel differently, and to operate differently…
~ Note, that you can create the relationship and life you want…
Take an immediate action to shift the course you are on to win at the Game of Life…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Oftentimes we get so mired in the everyday doing that we forget the everyday Being. We forget to actually show up to our lives, we might bring our bodies, maybe even our minds to a commitment, to an interaction, to a moment. But we hardly bring our heart, our Essence… This is where we are going wrong…
This is what is keeping up spent, unmotivated, fearful, disconnected… This is what is creating the rest of our suffering and turmoil… WE are missing from the equation! Bring presence. Then you can exponentially expand and deepen your connection…
If we are looking for happiness, joy, health, vitality, peace, harmony, connection and love, it is actually quite simple to attain… The way is through our presence…
When we connect with ourselves, with our core, authentic, Higher Self, we are connected to all that is, to the now, to Oneness, to Unity, to Love. We are connected to Unity Consciousness, to Love Consciousness… From this Connection, we just are the highest and best version of ourselves… And so much easier for our partner to feel us and connect with us…
From this expanded connection the universe is the limit…
When we fully embrace who we are in this way, we transcend the petty, the minutia, the fears, the defenses… This is powerful. We are so much bigger and magnificent than what we show up with every day. Our life is so much bigger and important than what we focus on every day…
We are here to have a Human Experience and evolve into who we truly are, NOT to get stuck in our human experience… To get stuck in the ins and outs of our little self, looking at our world through our ego. Interacting with all our defenses, habits and out of fear…
This is why the relationship with our partner is beyond gorgeous, regardless of the state it’s in… Our partner, our relationship, and our life, are a projection of our inner world… When our partner gets on our nerves, hurt us and the like, that is information about what is going on for us inside ourselves irrelevant of our partner… Yeah, a hard truth to embrace.
But this is why our partner is a Gift – they get to show us where we still need to heal, grow, and evolve…
When we are in touch with this, and together play with this, now that is where the depth is in our relationship… Being understood, known, respected, cherished and appreciated at this level is so massive.
When you are playing at the Game of Life from this angle, not just to amass accomplishment and fortune and to check things off your to-do or bucket lists, is when you are truly living your life. This is when you feel Alive. This is the inspiration, the juice, the sparkle. This is who You are…
Showing up to interactions, engagements, projects and even all the mundane with the Essence of who you are, give you a completely different experience…
What does this mean for how to do our lives every day? This means having a rich Self-Love Practice so you Connect with yourself consistently… Then you design how you want your days to go, prioritizing you and your relationship, Being over doing… Then you tackle the rest… And the rest becomes so much easier, smoother, fun and glorious…
APPLICATION: Make a commitment to shift the focus of how you do your life for a richer and more delightful experience…
~ Shift the focus from work and doing to your life and being…
~ Design your day to Align with the shift and embrace a self-love practice
~ Bring your partner into the fold of awareness, and gently and compassionately play at embracing your Higher Selves more and more…
Luxuriate in the expansiveness of this relating…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Hey, here is our chance to design our upcoming year. What will you add to yours? Being intentional about the relationship and life we create Allows us to create it… Intentioning is very powerful and underestimated… We want to be proactive and intentional about our life design, but we don’t want to be rigid with this… The key is focusing on what you would like to have more of in the New Year.
Step1-Clearing: Decluttering, letting go and making room for the new Step2-Celebrating: Reviewing and acknowledging experiences and accomplishments Step3-Contemplating: Visioning and planning for what we’d like for the New Year Step4-Candescenting: Mapping out of radiant experiences to expand ourselves Step5-Coordinating: Integrating plans and goals into your lifestyle Step6-Communing: Getting on the same page and collaborating on this with our partner
The thing is that depending on where we are in our relationship and our life, and our current circumstances, we might benefit from doing more or less planning…
~ The more we feel we, our relationship, and our life are a mess, the more we benefit from having a more concrete thought-out plan, that has clear routines, habits, and tactics. We need to really choose the things we want in our life that flow from our desires, vision, and values.
We can’t leave things to chance because things are so chaotic that we’ll just create more of that. Without a clear plan and guidelines, we’d just keep spinning and banging around… And the less likely we are to get out of this situation and current circumstances…
~ The more we feel we are doing ok, the lighter the planning can be where we can be more organic in our approach to our life. In this case we are in fabulous health, we are creating a radiant and successful relationship with our partner, and our life feels magical… We manifest easily and with ease.
Things feel smooth, pretty, and abundant most of the time. We’ve done the heavy lifting, all the doing, all the grinding and have moved to a more magnetic, flowy, and peaceful approach to all aspects of our life…
Our approach to our planning for wrapping up the current year and setting ourselves up for the New Year is to be tailored to where we are and how we are doing.
Regardless of whether we need a more organized plan or a more fluid plan, I want to offer the next level to our “planning”…
The next planning level has to do with bringing more awareness and intentionality to our planning…
Sometimes the vision we are working towards, and the goals and strategies we have been operating from, might be outdated… We could be expanding on preferences and desires conceived and outlined from an older version of ourselves… To add to this for our coming year would be a mistake for us as it keeps up with the ladder leaning against the wrong wall.
A revision and update might be needed to really capture how we have evolved and where we want to go…
And this is the icing:
The key is to focus on Allowing more of what we are looking to have more of by getting out of our own way. By Letting Go of outdated ideas, limiting beliefs, scripts, fear, defenses, ego, and such…
When we clean ourselves up and get lighter by reprogramming or releasing patterns and stuck energies, then we are more resourced to make our dreams come true, dreams without attachments, dreams that just feel fabulous in their own right… Dreams that just come true, easily and with ease as if by magic…
Consider what do you want more of in your relationship/life, and what do you need to let go of to be able to create that in your relationship/life- to Allow that to come into your relationship/life… More clarity and a cleaner slate help us do the right planning for us.
Then, set a clear Intention of what you desire, what you would like to experience, in the coming year to electrify and magnetize your plan… Make your plan come Alive…
APPLICATION: Decide if you need an organized or a fluid plan for the new year if you haven’t done yours yet. Make a commitment to create yours by end the end of the year…
~ Make sure you capture what the new version of you desires ~ Make sure you bring in what you’d like to add to your relationship/life in the New Year ~ Set an Intention for how you’d like the upcoming year to flow and feel
Approaching your yearly planning in a flexible manner that honors where you are at and who you are becoming is a delightful way to set yourself up to have your Best Year yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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