Do you feel like you are spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast in your life? Do you feel like your world got turned upside down and you don’t know what’s up or down? Do you feel exhausted and completely unmotivated? Do you feel like are banging around without purpose and alone? Do you feel disconnected from your partner and like you are both just floating around?
You are not alone. Imagine a gigantic hand grabbed the world this past year and shook it and shook it. Everything is rattled and out of place. We are just now beginning to get up and look around to see where everything landed…
We are disoriented and shaken up… We might have a blurry vision, a ringing in our ears, a cloudy head, an upset stomach, shortness of breath, and some aches and pains… (metaphorically, and possibly quite literal as well…) We haven’t fully righted ourselves yet…
We have barely started to enter the aftermath of this unprecedented global phenomenon. We want to be done with it already, but there is no sense in rushing what is… There is good stuff here for us to take away, and I’m not sure the full message has been received yet… Hence, the continuation of this challenge…
Our job in all this is to figure out what it means for our own personal Human Experience and what we are to do with it…
What are the challenges that you are experiencing and what do they mean for you in the context of your Life…? See if you can step back from the everyday practical impact, and recognize what else is being spotlighted for you…
Let’s look at: What is our growth place? What do we need to heal? What do we need to integrate? How do we need to stretch? What do we need to learn? How do we need to grow, develop and evolve?
You might be throwing your hands up in the air right about now in frustration because you think you have no clue.
Or worse yet, you are suffering but are still rejecting all notions about personal development as the answer and are experiencing resistance… But I implore you to open your mind, ever so slightly, soothe that ego, and see if there isn’t the remote chance that this is the way out…
Look at what gets you. What repeating triggers, annoyances and patterns do you experience in your life? What is the usual and common feeling that you contend with day in and day out? What is the story you kept telling yourself is the issue in your life? Where do you feel stuck? Where do you want to be that you haven’t been able to get to yet? Do you even know where you want to be?
SO, I direct you to embracing a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ to assist you with all this…
What is a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ and how can it help?
The Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ is a new approach to our life… Where the answer is living consciously, intentionally, with an open heart, and in connection… These are core tenets of the Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ protocol…
The Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™
The Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™ is comprised of three parts:
I – The Joint Vision II – The 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™ [a.k.a., The Strategy]
Watch the Video to learn more and complete the Assignment below!
ASSIGNMENT: Make a commitment to embrace a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™:
I –The Joint Vision – Design Your Joint Vision:Envision your own and have your partner do the same (think what you want in each area of life, what you’d like your life to be in 1, 5, 10, 25 years from now). Share your visions with each other, iron out any discrepancies, and integrate new pieces to create your Joint Vision… This is what you are working towards…
II – The 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™ – Work The Strategy: Focusing on The Strategy Element that needs the most attention, make sure are intentional about your mindset, communication, self-regulation and reprogramming, connection and collaboration on a daily basis…
III – Living Your Intentional Ideal Day – Live with Gusto and Intention: Design your Ideal Day using TimeMapping and TimeChunking for more focus, efficiency and flow… Add in your repeating behaviors, your tactics and habits, to help you achieve your goals… Make sure you use Intentional Habits, Wellness, Connection & Success Habits.
As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Sometimes things don’t seem to be working out the way we’d prefer in our life and our relationship. We don’t lose the weight. We don’t get the promotion or hit our sales target. We haven’t gotten engaged yet. We keep having the same fight. There is a reason for this. The reason is that we are getting in our own way…
Now, I say with lots of love and compassion, for who wants to hear it’s their fault they are having a hard time. Right?
But the reality is that we are carrying on in a way that doesn’t allow us to create our best relationship and best life. Here are a few things that are getting in our way…
We have:
1 – A victim and powerless mentality, a negativity bias, poor boundaries and lack of personal ownership
2 – Lacking communication skills, inability to apologize or apologize well, no repair know-how and how to make amends
3 – Unresolved wounds and repeating patterns, poor self-regulation, no self-care practice
4 – A guarded heart, low connection and intimacy ability, lack of relationship prioritization
5 – Distractions, over commitment, disorganization, no collaboration system
When we don’t attend to our own healing, growth, development and evolution, we get in our own way of having the relationship and life we want. We are only able to create as far as how we are operating allows us to go…
We can only create as far as we have with how we currently are.
To continue to create our best relationship and our best life, we need to continue to create our best selves…
We can’t change our world if we don’t change first, it’s impossible:
1 – We can’t see the beauty that is our Partner if we continue to blame everything on them and lack personal ownership…
2 – We can’t communicate better if we don’t improve our communication skills.
3 – We can’t stay steady in the face of a trigger or a fight if we can’t self-regulate, if we lack resilience.
4 – We can’t connect and have intimacy, passion and fun if we don’t make time for our partner and relationship and have a guarded heart.
5 – We can’t have a joyful, peaceful, harmonious and lovely home if we can’t collaborate in running our joint life…
So, you see whatever is troubling you, whatever you haven’t been able to achieve yet, it’s because you are getting in your own way… Sorry, don’t shoot the messenger. LOL
But you can create what you want after all. You just have to go about it a bit differently than you have been…
When you keep having the same fight…
You keep having the same fight because:
1 – You keep looking at your partner the same way. You keep doing the same things that bother your partner.
2 – You keep addressing their disappointment or complaint the same way.
3- You chase them or push them away as usual.
4 – You don’t consistently give them love in their love language.
5 – And, your ego gets in the way about how things should be done.
Well? You see what predicament you get yourself in?
Do you see that any change in any of these areas would give you a different outcome? How you actually have control over how things play out…?
You are super powerful. When you decide that you’ll show up differently and set that intention, you do. And, when you do, so does your partner… Voila!
Of course, I don’t want to oversimplify this. I know that the best of intentions don’t always stick… But therein lays information for your use as well, to help you continue to heal, grow and develop.
The more you work your intentions and learn from what doesn’t work, the more you can change, and the more you change, the more you can address your world and your partner differently…
And that is all it takes to create something different, to create the relationship and life you want.
ASSIGNMENT: Decide that you mean business and that you will change so you can create change in your relationship and your life…
I – Take note that the items in the lists above are related the 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™:
1 – Context & Mindset
2 – Communication & Alignment
3 – Clarity & Dynamics
4 – Connection & Intimacy
5 – Collaboration & Partnership
II – Identify the Element that needs most of your attention
III – Play with that Element until you acquire some mastery, for example:
1 – Embrace a Relationship Enrichment Mindset (your partner is your Partner with a couple P…)
2 – Improve communication, apology and repair skills
3 – Identify your wounds and triggers, change your response to your partner’s, implement a rich self-care practice
4 – Set up Connection Habits, implement a Dating Partner Protocol, safe-guard couple time
5 – Simplify your life and cut down on commitments, establish a Collaboration System
IV – Move on to the other Elements that also need attention, keep cycling through them till you see your Transformation…
As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
It is not uncommon for us to become so tunnel vision in our experience that we miss the forest for the tree. We focus on what’s not working, how we’ve been wronged, what we don’t like, how much we have to do, and all the miseries of life.
We tend to overwork, neglect ourselves and our loved ones. We are far from living our Best Life and creating our Best Relationship… We can focus and work differently instead… And, we can implement pleasure and delight habits…
Why pleasure and delight habits? Great question. As I’ve been embracing the concept of doing my life with more Ease, these have been coming up… And, how glorious they are! They simply make life easier and more enjoyable… They profoundly add to creating our best life and relationship…
Now, I’m not talking about debauchery, far from it. I’m talking about creating space, grace and inspired flow in our daily routine. I’m talking about being gentle and compassionate with ourselves, and others. And, of course, I’m talking about enjoying simple pleasures.
It costs almost nothing to meditate, savor clean food, drink water, enjoy herbal teas, play with our pet, frolic in nature, witness a sunset, star gaze, take a bath, read a good book, be moved by music and such.
It definitely costs nothing to be present in a conversation and bask in the interaction with a loved one, and even a stranger.
And better yet, it really does cost nothing to do things we know will Delight our partner…
Watch the Video to learn more and complete the Assignment below!
ASSIGNMENT: Embrace this opportunity for more pleasure and delight in your life…
Clean up your daily routine. Reclaim and own your time! Get rid of time wasters. Make sure you have focus, transition and Free time.
Add a daily Simple Pleasure habit
Add a daily Delight Partner habit
Implement a Habits Tracking System as what you measure improves…
As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
The conversation continues on having a refresh and reset, a renewal, on creating a new beginning, and on getting traction on our relationship and life transformation… Are you ready for newness? Let’s do it! To get traction with the new, we have to get rid of the old… Your new beginning needs a communication cleanse to set the right tone for the awesomeness that’s to come.
Today we’ll focus on how to clean up how you communicate in your relationship. I recently wrote about Communication Roadblocks that get in the way of your Radiant and Successful Relationship.
Let’s make it our business to remove these from our interactions. Let’s do a communication cleanse. But let’s make sure this is not just a quick cleanse but a new way of showing up to our relationship and interactions with our partner (and other loves ones!) going forward.
Here is the list of The Dirty Dozen of Communication. These are roadblocks to communication, to getting on the same page and aligning in your relationship.
Addressing needs or concerns when triggered
Using electronic devices as modes of communication
Addressing issues on the fly
Starting conversations when not in a good state
Disregarding good communication skills and tools
Forcing conversations
Not really listening, paying attention or taking in the other
Not having personal accountability and ownership
Track-jumping and messy content
Making a federal case
Being aggressive in speech, attitude or behavior
Patronizing in some form…
When we are not mindful and intentional of how we show up and how we interact with our partner, and others, we are bound to be messy in that exchange. We might be going about our business and just being ourselves, when we realize that an exchange is not going well. That we are showing up with The Dirty Dozen of Communication.
At that point the damage has been done and now the rest of the exchange needs to tend to it. What happens a lot of times is that partners are not even aware that the exchange is starting to go south, and they keep on going. They end up doing more damage.
Or they are stubborn. They realize the exchange is not going well, and they try to regroup without changing their approach! In this case they also end up doing more damage.
This observation doesn’t mean that we can’t let our hair down, be spontaneous or be ourselves… In the contrary, this observation points out that we are showing up with our messy, unintentional, defense ridden, not conscious self… We are showing up with our Small Self…
Instead, when we connect first with our Big Self, our Authentic Self, our Higher Self, we then automatically go into an interaction with more grace, mindfulness, intentionality, respect, acceptance, understanding, and other good stuff.
Communicating well doesn’t have to be that challenging:
The first order of business is to connect and align with ourselves first… From here the rest is much easier…
The next order of business is to avoid doing The Dirty Dozen of Communication.
This 3-Step Approach to Great Communication is the key for preventing fights, easily getting on the same page and for aligning with each other.
To honor our current refresh, reset and renew theme let’s target Step 2 and be super proactive about removing Communication Roadblocks still present in our interactions.
Your new beginning needs a communication cleanse to set the right tone for the awesomeness that’s to come. Cleanse your communication of the pesky behaviors that undermine your relationship.
ASSIGNMENT: Let’s make a dent in cleansing your communication style!
Select 5 Communication Roadblocks from The Dirty Dozen of Communication list to target and purge from your interactions.
Set a weekly reminder on your phone to check yourself on these so they don’t make their way back…
Keep targeting the other Dirty Dozen until they are all gone…
Stay intentional about not allowing them back!
As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
New beginnings are super exciting, and this new season promises nothing less. Not only is it a new season, but it is also Springtime when things come alive. And, this Spring is meaningful as it marks a one-year anniversary of the still ongoing global pandemic but with it hope as the vaccine is being distributed. Newness is in the air. This is the perfect time for a relationship refresh and reset.
What is a relationship refresh and reset? A relationship refresh and reset is a time for renewal. It’s a time for starting again with a shift from:
looking at your partner and relationship in the same old that is keeping things blah to seeing the possibilities…
feeling stuck, stagnant and bored to feeling excited and in love again…
neglecting or taking the relationship and partner for granted to moving them to the top of your priority list…
It’s a time for embracing newness by showering your partner with positive energy and approaching your relationship from a different angle…
The past of couple articles covered detoxing and spring cleaning to clear the way for new beginnings. And, envisioning your upleveled relationship and life to guide the way. Now we’ll cover how to create the newness…
We’ll cover how to shift your thoughts, your feelings and your behaviors.
Are you ready to refresh and reset your relationship? Are you ready to embrace and create newness? Are you ready for your new beginning?
Watch the Video to learn how and complete the Assignment below!
ASSIGNMENT: Select the area that needs the most attention you want to focus on transforming:
Thoughts – Embracing a Relationship Enrichment (you are allies on a joint journey) mindset
Feelings – Embracing a gratitude, generous and compassionate heartset
Behaviors – Embracing a nurturing, attentive, and engaging actionset
Create 3 daily habits around your chosen area to get serious traction towards transforming your relationship.
As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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