How do we make sure this year our relationship is better than ever before? Speaking from personal experience, self-care is the key… And, as I’ve been writing, self-care comes in many forms – from having a luxurious pampering session at a spa to being gentle with yourself in your Self Talk to easing up on your overly ambitious agenda… There is being motivated, and there is driving yourself into the ground. What’s the point in that?
One of my favorite self-care habits, as you probably very well know by now, is that of meditating. If you don’t meditate yet or if you dabble and haven’t taken it seriously, you are missing out! I’m telling you, this is like the magic pill. Some of the benefits of meditating include:
Being more aware
Being more clear
Being more aligned
Being more intentional
Being more abundant
Being more positive
Being more happy
Being more grounded
Being more flexible
Being more responsive
Being more energetic
Being more resourceful
Being more healthy
Being more youthful
Being more knowing and wise
Being more expansive
Being more Timeless
Meditating creates the experience of time slowing down, and by default feeling like you have more time and have access to more moments… And you have the ability to be present in all your moments. And by being present in every moment you are more efficient and productive.
And by being present in every moment you get to really enjoy and live your moments. And every moment is more meaningful, and your life is more meaningful… Eh? Who doesn’t want this?
Meditating is not only a self-care practice, it’s a relationship-care™ practice. When we have a meditative, mindfulness practice, we develop a Quite Mind. That’s where all the benefits listed above come from. When we have a quite mind, we are able to have a Transcendental experience of the world, we get the bird’s eye view…
We don’t miss the forest for the tree… A transcended view gives us a different perspective and therefore the ability to see new opportunities… A different perspective allows us to stay steady in the face of a challenge, to more easily see others’ experience and to more intentionally respond to what is in front of us. This is relationship mana!
So, how about it? Pick-up or step-up your mindfulness practice as a means to a more successful relationship, and more meaningful life… This is an investment in your own wellness, and in the wellness of your relationship. This is an Act of Self-Love, and an Act of Love and Kindness for your Partner (current or future!). Let’s go, time to quite your mind!
And, we are now in the 3rd weekend of theLove Launch™ (a 4-weekend series of relationship enrichment tactics before Valentine’s Day weekend). Feel free to jump in!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Transcending!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Explore different ways to develop and expand your Mindfulness Practice…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How do you like to spend your snow days? Indoor or outdoor? Do you have any fun rituals or traditions? How can you make the time more special? Actually, how can you make your weekends more special regardless of snow?
If you remember, this coming Monday (3rd Monday in January) has been coined Blue Monday not for nothing. As people settle down post holidays and turn toward the year ahead, loss, overwhelm, lack of motivation, anxiety, and sadness have a tendency to creep in… The cold and darker days don’t help any.
So, I want you to use this weekend wisely… You can take charge of your mood, your experience, your path and set the right tone for the rest of year. Don’t let this season and the rest of the year happen to you. Be proactive in creating what you desire. I know this is hard to do when we don’t feel so hot. So, first item of business is to make sure you feel well!
Use this weekend to reset yourself. Use this weekend to nurture, pamper, and please yourself. Use this weekend to Treat yourself (if you prescribe to the philosophy of being selfless or not selfish, hang on!). Use this weekend to replenish yourself from the inside out. Treating yourself is not just about bubble baths and “retail therapy”…
Research shows that we feel best when we are grateful, graceful, giving, generous… We can’t be in a fear place at the same time… These are mutually exclusive activated areas in our brain. And, did you know that we have mirror neurons that allows us to feel and experience what others do? This is partially responsible for our ability to have compassion, empathy, and connection with others. This allows us to know others…
We can leverage these concepts in our plan to Treat ourselves… The bag of tricks just got much larger. Aside from implementing what you would usually consider as nurturing, pampering and pleasing to you, how about adding another element to this equation. And, that is that of pleasing someone else… For in giving someone else pleasure, we give pleasure to ourselves as well… Voila! Everyone wins!!
Now, this is an antidote for Winter Blues, but this is also a Relationship Enrichment tactic… And, I’m presenting it as we enter the Love Season… (Multipurpose baby!) I want you to be very intentional about nurturing, pampering and pleasing yourself and your partner. This will make not only this weekend much better, but will set you on the proper Self and Relationship Success course for the Season and the rest of the year…
If you haven’t checked out the Love Launch™yet, check it out now as it starts this weekend (4 weekends before Valentine’s Day weekend). Give it a whirl to infuse this new approach and drive your shift.
How will you do this weekend better than usual? How will you Treat yourself and please your partner? Own your mood, your experience and your Journey! Enjoy!!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Pleasing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a Self List of items that are nurturing, pampering and pleasing to you for you to do.
Make a Partner List of items that are nurturing, pampering and pleasing to you for your partner to do for/to you…
Ask your partner to do the same.
Share your lists with each other and use the Self Lists to support each other’s Treats, and the Partner Lists to guide your efforts/investments towards your partner.
Remember that in the end there is pleasure to be had by all regardless of what List is being used…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I hope you are having a magnificent week! A lot of folks are away enjoying the last of the Summer Season while others are already in the throes of preparation for back-2-school. At this end, we are milking the sunshine, warmth and leisure pace while gearing up for the Fall. It is such pleasure to be putting finishing touches on this year’s Summer Personal Projects™.
Of course, some Personal Projects are ongoing. We usually know these as Personal Development. One of mine that falls in this category is that of embracing More Being, Less Doing™… What I lovingly call, “Moving Slow”, and more recently coined the experience as ZenBrain™. I play with this concept as an angle in my quest for ongoing and sustained Well-Being.
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoy exploring self-care practices that promote wellbeing. A great “hobby” indeed! This brings me to sharing about a delightfully wonderful meditation I have the pleasure of having in my Meditation Library: Guided Meditation for Taking Care of Yourself and Cultivating Self-Love, by Sara Raymond of the Mindful Movement. This meditation precisely captures the essence of the Self-care Practice I’ve been writing about.
Self-care is not just about a day at the spa and pampering oneself. Self-care has to do with establishing healthy boundaries, allowing and receiving, pacing ourselves, honoring ourselves, nourishing ourselves, connecting with our Self, enriching our Soul.
A self-care practice involves taking time for ourselves. It involves doing what is good for us. It involves being kind and compassionate toward ourselves. It involves believing and investing in ourselves. It involves expecting to be treated properly, to be treated with respect, kindness and care.
It involves standing up for ourselves. It involves saying No to something if taking it on will overwhelm us. It involves implementing a healthy lifestyle routine. It involves taking good care of all aspects of our personal life.
When we take care of ourselves, when we are nice, kind and compassionate toward ourselves, we are showing ourselves Love. When we experience self-love, then we are capable of being in Loving Relationships. Too often though, we judge ourselves for falling short of some standard. We have limiting believes about who we are and our abilities.
We question our worthiness, or at least walk around feeling unworthy. Sometimes we have over inflated egos as protection against this pain. We might not even be aware of this underlying driver. When we nurture the relationship with ourselves, we are showing ourselves Worthiness.
A Self-Care Practice is the cornerstone for cultivating self-love and worthiness, ingredients necessary for creating a successful relationship(s) and meaningful life… If instead we were to walk around on fumes, depleted, on alert, triggered, with protections, disconnected from our Core, Authentic, Higher Self, how could we possibly have good interactions with others and create the life we want?
I’ve come across a fantastic analogy for this: Imagine observing a person through a window who is vacuuming. They move up and down the rug, leaving streaks as they go. They seem on a mission. They look as if they are really into the task and doing a good job of it. Until you glance over and see the power cord is not plugged in…
This is how most go through life, doing, doing, doing, without being plugged in… They don’t make a dent in their life. They just exert energy without getting any results… Ugh!!
So, enough with the Doing. It’s time to really embrace Being through a robust Self-Care Practice that includes a rich selection of Mindfulness Practices. When we are plugged-in, resourced, we have leverage and are empowered to rock our world!
So, will you join in? What Self-Care Practice activities, routines, experiences, resources, mindset can you implement / embrace more fully? Don’t go at this as if you are on a mission… Be gentle, caring, loving, and easy about it. Enjoy the process, learn and experiment, savor what you choose, milk it…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Practicing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Take stock of how loved your feel in your life. What is the status of your relationship?
Take stock of how worthy you feel in your life. How deserving do you feel?
Now, take stock of how kind, nice and compassionate you are towards yourself. How do you treat yourself?
Take stock of your limiting beliefs in terms of expectations, shoulds, perfectionism, and such… How much do you ride yourself?
From the above inquiry and insights, pick an area you need to ease up on and a way to give yourself a break and Love…
Allow it, take it in…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Back from our major trip, a lot of driving, and much sightseeing. The girls trip was conceived and designed by our daughter, Vanessa, with the goal of seeing major cities along the way. Our excursion took us down the East Coast to Jacksonville, FL, across to New Orleans, LA, up to Cleveland, OH, and back across to NJ.
With a few one-nighters along the way, a multiple-day stay in New Orleans, and the 4th of July in Nashville, we did 3,400 miles through 15 states and 13 cities. Woohoo! I feel very accomplished after this. LOL
The trip in itself wasn’t extremely long, but because of the driving exertion, suspension from the everyday, and hypnotic roads, I feel I’ve been away a very long time… It was quite an experience, lending itself to new perspectives, renewed energy and continued ZenBrain… One of many fun spots included visiting the Audubon Park in New Orleans. What a magical and inspiring spot…
I’m so grateful to find places like this on my Journey, whether through a road trip or around the corner. These are the types of places that suspend noise, judgement, resentment, shaming, and the like. These are the types of places that assist in our Reprogramming…
You might be aware that we go through life with our usual view of the world, our mindset and our scripts. These narratives and believes when played over and over continue the running of our programming. This is not a bad thing if we intentionally create positive narratives that serve us…
The problem is that our narratives are usually colored and influenced by well-meaning others operating from a less than inspired, guided and authentic place themselves… Narratives created by default and operating never having been cleaned up, or without ongoing tending, just perpetuate, actually worsen, our dissatisfying status quo.
They provide convoluted and defensive logic, negative reinforcements, and a downright sabotaging approach to life…
For us to have satisfying and successful relationships and a rewarding and meaningful life, we have to tend to our narrative. We have to clean up our view of the world, our beliefs, our meaning systems, our scripts, and our thought patterns. Leaving this untamed, dark, and dirty (like I like to say) is a dangerous way to live our life. We are pretty much signing off on having an unsatisfying experience at the end of the day…
This is why I so love Self-care that includes Mindfulness Practices because this is exactly what they provide. They provide a respite from the noise, the usual chaotic, negative and defensive thinking, and undermining approach. They provide a way to bypass the “programming” allowing us to connect with our core, authenticity, and Light.
When we do this frequently we reprogram ourselves… and start operating from a cleaner, more authentic and inspired place more consistently. This is what I’ve been calling ZenBrain. The experience of a sustained and ongoing peaceful and authentic feeling is just truly Divine. I wish this for you.
I’m super excited that every week more clients share they are incorporating a Mindfulness Practice into their routine. The progress and changes in their Journey is noticeably different once they do this… It is truly amazing to witness…
The Mindfulness Practice can include anything that resonates for us, like visiting and experiencing gorgeous and peaceful places I described above, meditating daily, gratitude journaling, coloring mandalas, anything that is hypnotic, quieting, and allows you to connect with your Higher Self, the core of you… From this place there is no funky program running the show!
It’s up to you how your relationships feel and what your life looks like every day. It’s up to you to shed the programming and live your life from your authentic Self, from Light and Love. And what a life this would be!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Reprogramming!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
It is imperative that you integrate a Mindfulness Practice into your routine!
Assess your Mindfulness Quotient and then play with the options below to become more Mindful…
Do Guided Mindfulness Meditation, Transcendental Meditation
Listen to binaural beats frequencies, sounds of nature, Tibetan singing bowls, Tibetan flute
Keep journal of gratitude, positive aspects, letting go
Color Mandalas / Mindfulness Drawings
Intentionally knit, drive, walk, swim, dance, hike, and such
Be in nature
Do deep muscle relaxation, breathing exercises, body scans
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
If you are a growth and achievement oriented kind of human, I’m sure you are always looking for how to do things better, and how to improve everything you do and everything around you. Right? I know I’m like that. I’m constantly focused on evolution, expansion and growth.
My profession makes complete sense for me in that I help couples and individuals improve how they do themselves and each other (pun intended LOL). I help them continue to grow, develop, and evolve as individuals. I help them have better interactions with each other, and others. I help them create the relationship and life they desire.
In our work together, I make sure we don’t get hang up on the problems and what doesn’t work… I have a strict rule of not allowing the partners to beat on each other. I have a strict rule for looking for positives and things to appreciate. I have a strict rule for focusing on personal accountability and contribution…
This creates an amazingly safe and fun space for the partners to address, processes, explore, co-create and implement to their hearts’ desire. It’s a privilege and honor to witness their Journey.
I often find that initially in our work partners focus on everything that sucks and how much their partner sucks… They lost sight of the other’s, and usually their own, awesomeness… They lost sight of what works, their attraction, and Why they are together in the first place… Their approach is to have the other change and to fix problems. This is the approach that doesn’t work when we are trying to create the relationship we desire.
There is another approach that doesn’t work, but it’s much less obvious and possibly keeps partners stuck in the name of working on the relationship (something to watch out for when in a therapeutic relationship as well…). And, that is of focusing on the solution…
Implementing solutions in and of itself doesn’t work. If it did people wouldn’t need therapy / coaching. You are smart. You can think through a problem. You can figure stuff out. Then how come change doesn’t happen or hold?
For starters, we need to focus on Why we want the solution… This is driven by our values… When we identify, focus and flow from our values life becomes much easier… When we focus on the why as opposed to the what and the how, we remove resistance and create flow… This is how we create what we desire. It can’t be forced into existence…
So, when we focus on what we like, what we appreciate, what we enjoy about our partner we are reprogramming ourselves to see the positive and not the negative, and therefore to not be impacted by the negative… How about that? Give it try and see how fast things turn around!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Focusing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Identify your 5 top values…
Use these as a lens as you review what areas need more TLC in your life…
Use these to cut out miscellaneous activities, commitments, belongings, and such in your life…
Use these to stay focused on what is important to you, and to ignore the rest…
Have a Gorilla in the Middle Approach™ to your life!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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