When we are looking to create change, uplevel, and make a move in our relationship and our life, we might find that we don’t know where to start. Or that we have tried all the things we know and ran out of ideas and so are feeling hopeless. Or that we feel so stuck we want to give up. Or that we know what we have to do but are too scared to take a first step or an action towards making a change. All this is part of the human experience when we are trying to better our situation, create what we desire and continue to evolve to the best version of ourselves…
But not to fret, even though this is part of the human experience, it doesn’t mean that we have to endure additional suffering. It doesn’t have to be hard at the end of the day.
If we were to actually fully own ourselves and not our partner or others, if we stayed in our circle. If we focused on honoring ourselves, our own evolution and growth, and how we show up to our relationship and our life instead of using excuses, victimizing ourselves and blaming others. We’d truly be empowered and able to create what we desire in all areas of our life…
What if we were to focus on keeping our side of the street clean… On showing up with our best self- resourced, self-regulated and soothed, boundaried, compassionate, attuned and kind and generous. Can you image how fast your interactions would shift? How fast your relationship would uplevel? I can, I see it day in and day out not only in my own relationship but in countless others with the couple therapy work we do.
What is some of the work to do?
~ Declutter your relationship and life perspective- clean up distorted thinking ~ Clear, deconstruct and deprogram patterns- heal and release old wounds and stuck emotions ~ Detox from defensive and reactive mechanisms- upgrade coping mechanisms and self-regulation ~ Reset stories, scripts and narratives- replace the victim with a victor mindset ~ Clean up your approach to your partner and your circumstances- try different tactics, skills and tools
When you let go of the old, the hurts, wounds, patterns, practices, habits, characteristics, and such, you create space to become more who you are- your better version of you, creating a refresh for the new to immerge in all areas of your life…
Here is to a replenishing and shifting refresh and to all the newness!
In today’s podcast episode, I have a lovely and fun conversation with Cinthia Hiett, also a relationship expert, where we discuss toxic interactions in relationship, dealing with an immature spouse or an immature partner, what codependency looks like in relationship and in the world, how to set boundaries, growing ourselves up and dealing with our inner child, and so much more.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we are entering the season of cleaning, decluttering, cleansing, clearing, and detoxing for a refresh and to create space for newness, for a rebirth, we are faced with the choice of how much, if at all, we play with this. It is up to us how we choose to do our Journey. Are we proactive and victors, or are we passive and victims in our relationship and our life… Whatever our usual, we are still faced with a choice. If you are usually passive, here is a chance to step up your game.
And let me tell you, we can play full out or simply select an area to focus on and go about it gently. Whatever our style of doing things, we can honor that if that serves us or we can choose to change even that if we are looking to really uplevel our relationship and our life…
Usually how we do anything is how we do everything…
But we can empower ourselves and start making different choices. We can take more ownership and choose to do things differently, to change habits, to deprogram, to become our best self, the best partner, and the best human we can…
We can choose to stop being who we usually are (a collection of habits and patterns…) or at least relieve the parts that no longer serve us to uplevel ourselves. Things we’d address include our sensitivities, pet-peeves, coping mechanisms, defenses, reactions, and anything else that’s our go to…
Here is our chance to get rid of what we no longer want, what doesn’t work, what gets in our way and holds us back, what numbs, mutes, covers and snuffs us out… Anything that gets in the way of our authenticity, and our ability to be who we truly are…
We might have done a good amount of clearing (deprogramming and healing) already but have a bit more to do, or we might have not even started getting our house in order… This is where we get to choose how much we’ll tackle and where we want to focus.
Areas to focus on include but are not exclusive to:
We might not even know where to start, if we even want to, and never mind choosing how much to do. The whole thing might feel overwhelming.
Which brings me to what I want to offer today, and that is to check-in with yourself about this. Not to impetuously decide on something, as a reaction, from ego, or from the top of your head. Give yourself a chance to really get in touch with what investment would make the most sense for you. Where do you want to place your focus and energy to most move the needle forward.
To that end, a great solution for this is to practice Sitting in Silence…
Sitting in silence promotes:
Relaxation and stress relief
Calm and inner peace
Brain development
Physical healing
Mental health
Processing
Concentration and focus
Productivity
Learning
Self-awareness
Intuition
Creativity
Patience
Mindfulness
Sleep
As you get all these benefits, you’ll have a greater sense of where you need to place your focus and energy. You’ll know what areas need to be addressed first so you can leverage them for better and faster results, and ease…
And most importantly you’ll be doing the resourcing, deprogramming, and healing to begin with. You can’t go wrong! You’ll be already doing what you want to do before you even start doing it. Bam!
To draw the benefits of sitting in silence to support your refresh and help you create space for the new, be proactive about adding this to your daily routine… Put your devise away for a few minutes, and gift yourself this refresh for newness.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
The way we allow ourselves to experience and view our world, is exactly what we experience and what we see… This has tremendous implications for our relationship…
Our relationship is our PLAYGROUND where we recognize our growth areas, notice what skills we still need, practice what we learn, and try out who we are becoming…
When we take our relationship for granted not only does it wither and die, depriving us of the joy and love that our relationship can bring, but with it goes the built-in mechanism for our evolution…
As it is no longer available for its essential purpose of being our playground, we have to find an alternative way to continue evolving to ensure our best human experience…
I say we focus on nurturing and enriching our relationship for its own sake and our own…
In this video, I show how to expand your consciousness, how to better show up to your relationship, to expand your Love…
Feel amazing and create your best relationship…
I talk about:
💗Aligning with Oneness
💗Opening up to More
💗Allowing Love
Let’s live in Love…
Watch other Monthly Theme videos on our YouTube channel
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We still live in a pretty hectic and grind focused world… The recent pandemic helped us wake up a bit to the reality that we were not living our best life. That we were living by doing, accumulating, numbing, and yes, wasting away… And, to some extent, we haven’t really course corrected that much… We shouted from the roof tops that we wanted to “go back to normal”… But is that really want we want? I know we are craving a richer and more meaningful existence…
I have made it my business, literally, to show people a better way… The old mindset around this no longer cuts it… The grind mentality, the 10x all your efforts, the focus on external achievement, the default of neglecting ourselves and our loved ones is no longer acceptable. Why would we choose to have this kind of life?
The result of that kind of life is high divorce rates and broken homes, financial struggle, addictions, diseased bodies and minds, fatigue and exhaustion, and a lack of inspiration and zest for life… This is when people are robotic about life and it shows in their eyes, in their speech, in their focus… This is when people don’t have a great answer as to the purpose of life… Their purpose…
Regardless of where you stand on the above, I bet you still do some grinding… It’s ok, we still live in this kind of world…
But I want to offer a simple reprieve to that today, and that is to open our eyes to Joy… If you are rolling your eyes, bear with me… You see, we tend to focus on all the doing and getting things done, that we don’t stop to smell the roses. I know this might sound cliché at this point, but it still applies…
What if we created a life where we focus on our life first and then on work? I know, it sounds crazy… And don’t get me wrong- I love my work and working… I could be as much on this boat as the next person… Because my work is such a part of me, and my purpose and my mission, it is even harder to detach from it and chill… It is so ingrained in my being that it becomes difficult to distinguish work from life… But still, I’m taking on this challenge as I know there is even more… I’m intentionally shifting this focus and basking on what’s on the other side…
What does it mean to focus on our life first and then on work? What does it mean to stop and smell the roses? What does it mean open our eyes to joy?
Open Your Eyes to Joy
This would look different for each of us, as we all have different habits, needs, preferences, bodies, histories, things that delight us, and so on and so forth. But it could include some of these or some version of these:
Creating a rich self-care morning routine
Embracing a mindfulness practice
Experimenting with different ways of having movement in our day
Expending times outdoors in the sun and in nature
Having fresh flowers in our office and home
Having live plants in our office and home
Eating delicious nutritious meals
Feeding our mind and soul
Honoring our feelings and addressing our needs
Becoming more who we are
Pursuing interests and hobbies
Pursuing a higher calling
Creating quality time with our loved ones
Having great sleep hygiene (hooked up bedtime routine)
You see, it doesn’t have to be that difficult or such a strange concept… When we prioritize these and work our work around them, that’s when the seas part…
Right now, we do it the other way around, we do work and fill in the rest if we can… This is a terrible way to go about life…
I encourage you to prioritize your life first, sprinkle the little things that give you joy into your routine, then get to work.
What I experience when I do this, is that I’m much more creative and productive. My life feels amazing and works much better. I can truly say I’m living my best life…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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