And, how are You doing? What theme do you have currently going on? What new approach, system, structure, plan, routine, and such have you implemented for a smoother Autumn? Do you recognize any old patterns rearing their ugly head yet? What can you do differently to nip them in the bud this season? Do you have a fun theme in the mix? Mine is Socializing!
All my commitments, involvements, and projects have a Social gathering aspect attached to them right now. Ha! So fun!
It’s interesting how we might not realize how many “networks” we actually belong to. Unless we are purposefully trying to engage with a lot of people to build a business or sell Girl Scout cookies, we don’t necessarily pay attention to this. Now a days we pay a lot more attention to how many Friends we have on Facebook, Connections on LinkedIn, or Followers on Instagram.
We are a lot more focused on our Social Media audience, not even our other online communities. I guarantee you belong to at least 10 (on- and off-line), go ahead count them. The point of this is that there is so much fun and opportunities to be had when we fully engage in our world… We don’t have to reinvent the wheel, we just have to show up…
The deal is that we might get mired down with negativity in our life to the point that we don’t know how to appropriately engage in our world and actually enjoy it…
We might hold resentments, compete with ourselves and/or others, do comparisons, make judgements, strive for perfection, self-neglect and even abuse, have unreasonable expectations, be demanding and critical, be controlling, have ineffective boundaries, entertain drama, you get my drift… All these serve to sabotage our awesome life.
All these block our Light. They don’t allow us to leverage our Resources… They hold us back from our full potential. They conspire to create a mediocre and unfulfilled life at the end of the day. And we have a ton of these littering our mind every moment! We are feeding a toxic environment between our ears, that color the whole of our existence…
This negativity informs our mindset, influences our feeling state, generates our biochemistry, impacts all our organs and physiology, and that’s before we even speak with anyone or take any action…
This negativity influences all our choices, our decisions, our interactions, our behavior; our approach to everything. It is a lens we unknowingly put on that we don’t know to take off… We might have hints that we have it on, like: not feeling emotionally well, actually getting sick, being chronically ill, things not going well in certain areas of our life, having issues with people, not making progress on projects, things breaking down all around us, and such…
If you notice this going on, it’s time to take stock of what is renting space in your head… And, it’s time to start doing some evicting!
It is absolutely rewarding to start catching the negativity and shifting it, to let go of it, to stop it in its track. Notice what brand of negativity you tend to carry around and address its source. Eradicate its roots to prevent it from coming back. We don’t want you working hard at this, be smart about it. Address it and move on to the fun in life!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Eradicating!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
List all the ways you recognize that you are negative, what negative thoughts you entertain, how you sell yourself short, how you might beat on yourself and others, and the like…
Choose a particular way you do negativity that takes a significant toll in your life to address first. Process for how this serves you…, and how it holds you back…
Then make any necessary changes to replace how it serves you… and any necessary changes to remove its trigger…, so it can no longer hold you back.
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Woohoo, happy September! How are you doing? Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and frazzled with back2school and back2hectiness? Transitioning back into the hectic season is not easy sometimes. You might be experiencing vacation brain and are not ready to jump in.
You might be experiencing regret at not having had the summer you wanted and feeling like it went too fast. You might just be overwhelmed by the flipping of the switch and being back-on. And, add the pressures inherent to Q4 if this is on your radar. In any case, whether it’s these or other reasons that you are not feeling so hot, you are not alone.
I’ve already been providing suggestions on how to set up your Fall for success, and how to go into it with ease and grace. Here is a quick recap:
Have a last Fun Activity or Outing to say goodbye to Summer
Intentionally close the summer addressing summer locations, wardrobe, paraphernalia and such
Create a Fall routine that supports you, keep it simple and streamlined
Proactively select the habits that make up your routine to enrich your lifestyle and promote wellness
Review what you’ve committed yourself (and your family) to and reassess, take something out…
The idea is to minimize the hecticness, the overscheduling, the running and rushing around, the saturated bandwidth, and the like that create stress and breakdown in health, wellbeing and relationship(s) satisfaction. Which at the end of the day are what life is about. We tend to miss the boat on this!
Here are a few other suggestions that when implemented help create the ease, flow and joy we tend to undermine with the usual way we go about our life:
Have a Family Night (or Couple Night or Me Night depending on your current life stage)
Have two week-afternoons or -nights per week where there are no extra-curricular activities
Implement Reading and other types of Down Time
It does not make sense to have two sports activities back-to-back on the same day… Schedule differently or pick one!
Don’t double or triple book anything! Leave time for processing, regrouping, breathing, transitioning, and such…
Implement intentional transitions – from school/work to personal time, from day to night/sleep time, from weekdays to weekend, from weekend to weekdays
Create time for silence, to interact with others, to linger, to be bored…
Allow yourself and your family time to savor life…
When you start embracing this more minimalist kind of lifestyle, you actually get to Live your life more…
As you embrace minimizing the noise in your life, you’ll notice a significant improvement in your stress level, wellbeing and life and relationship(s) satisfaction… Your mood and health will be much better. Your efficiency and productivity will increase. Doing less is actually doing more!
But because we do have an overdoing-it ingrained approach, to embrace a more minimalist one is not so easy. Your train has already left the station and you are riding that ride… And, feeling the impact of it! So, as you try to slow down that train to get on a different track, you might need additional support to manage the damage already done.
To manage and address the negative feelings and state of being that might be kicking your butt. This translates into swapping Doing for Self-care… Add lots of self-care to your routine to help manage and reset your mood and feelings…
Here is a wonderful guided meditation, and energy clearing, to add to your repertoire for processing negative emotions… Nourishing activities like this one make all difference!
Focusing on feeling well, versus continuing to do more of the same and pushing through it, is the key to managing negative feelings. Removing noise and demands, nourishing your body and spirit, and Being in your life goes a long way in feeling well and living a life well lived.
Set yourself up for an amazing Fall. Remember, less is more. Take care of and be nice to yourself, and your loved ones!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Well-Feeling!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Take a close look at your current daily routine and lifestyle.
Lovingly, gently and intentionally revise it to support you and your loved ones better.
Streamline, simplify, systematize, delegate, and outsource.
Focus on keeping large chunks of time for just Being and enjoying… Safeguard these times as if your life depends on them. Because it does!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Happy August! Hope you are having fun and enjoying everything summer has to offer. I’m delightfully balancing work-play and play-play. Isn’t it awesome when you work but feels like you are not working…? I’ve been having this feeling more and more, where I have to check to see “how much work” I did. LOL A world-class problem for sure!
As usual, I’m playing with my themes, projects, and Transcendental Mindset™. I so enjoy this part of my life as it totally influences everything else. One of the latest kicks is “Purpose”. I’ve realized my Purpose, have owned it, and have been playing with it for a very long time now. But, I’m having an interesting experience with, not so much as to what it is for me and what to do with it, but as a concept.
In my ongoing quest for creating well-being for myself and assisting those around me and my clients, the concept of Purpose keeps showing up no matter what angle I take in my research. Very interesting. I’ve been writing that value-based pleasures (related to purpose!) are the key to well-being… I find this to be so true as I observe loved ones, those in my different networks, clients and humanity at large.
I find that those just doing the daily grind and who can barely get their head above water are the ones that are the least satisfied and well. Those that seek fun and pleasure but are thrill seekers and superficially entertained are second. And, those that have Purpose and embrace it well are healthy, happy, peaceful, abundant – Well.
In my pursuit to be a good mother and promote Wellness in my family, I’m always searching what to role model, and how to teach, guide, inspire and such. I know me being me and doing my own life well is a great role model in and of itself.
But parenting is a full contact sport, and I want to proactively parent our daughter. What I’ve come across is so rewarding! It takes parenting to the next level intoxicatingly connecting my themes, interests, pursuits and the like. Bam!
So, let’s take a look at one of the books I’m currently reading:
This book is written for adolescents and those supporting adolescents. It identifies the Essence of adolescence and how the adolescent mind’s focus is on novelty-seeking, social engagement, increased emotional intensity and creative exploration. It encourages engaging these aspects proactively to prevent the usual teenage approach to these to their detriment.
Seigel further makes the marvelous correlation that if adults were to embrace these qualities ongoingly themselves that they would experience a more satisfying life… The Essence and wonderful opportunities this state of being brings get lost as adults get sucked into the responsibilities of life.
When we are not properly stimulated or engaged, whether we are adolescents or mature adults, we create a dissatisfying life. This is why Purpose is so important!
Additional play with the concept of Purpose let me to this delicious exercise – The Purpose Challenge… Whether you know your Purpose or are still wondering, this exercise is so fun and helps you focus your attention in your life…
Sort the statements below into these three categories, using the exact number of statements noted for each category:
“Exactly Like Me” (3 statements)
“Not At All Like Me” (3 statements)
“Neither Like Me or Not Like Me” (remaining 7 statements)
Promoting my political beliefs is very important to me.
Volunteering is very important to me.
Finding a career that is consistent with my values and beliefs is very important to me.
Being there for my friends is very important to me.
Pursuing a calling, rather than just a job is very important to me.
Serving my country is very important to me.
Helping others is very important to me.
Serving my family is very important to me.
Supporting social issues is very important to me.
Expressing myself through my artwork (ex. music, painting, etc.) is very important to me.
Living life according to my religious beliefs is very important to me.
Being a spiritual person is very important to me.
Being able to support a family of my own in the future is very important to me.
Now, list them in this order:
Not At All Like Me
Neither Like Me or Not Like Me
Exactly Like Me
The last three is where you’d want to place your focus and resources. This is your Purpose, you might want to name it. All the other items sound pretty wonderful also, but if we tackle a lot of them without focusing on what is really important to us our efforts get diluted, our impact is minimized, and our satisfaction and well-being quotient take a hit…
This is the way to live a meaningful, satisfying, and rewarding life – a successful life, an exceptional life, a well lived life, a Well-Being life… Play along and see what you find out. Play along and keep streamlining your life. Play along and focus on being stimulated and engaged in ways that are in Alignment with your Purpose… Now we are talking, embrace this and enjoy!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Purposing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Look at how you use your time and determine how rewarding and enriching those experiences are. Be brutally honest, that’s the only way we can create the change we desire…
Run your activities through your Purpose lens to see if they are in alignment:
If they are not, dump them or work towards dumping them…
If they are, but somehow they are still not rewarding determine what is getting in the way and take action to remedy it.
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Woohoo!! Happy Summer!! A lot of schools let out this week around these parts and coupled with the warmth and brightness of the sun, it really feels like summer now. Happy, happy. Don’t you just love the feeling of “vacation brain”? When things that normally grab your attention or feel like major priorities just don’t have the same urgency?
When you move slower than usual and you don’t feel bad about it? When your daily agenda actually seems reasonable and doesn’t look like it was meant to be completed over a week? When you can easily play hooky and it actually doesn’t set you back? When you are more productive with less effort? Ah, to embracing “vacation brain” full time…
I’m attributing the experience of “vacation brain” to the context around me. As we all know though, children being home and getting ready to go away for an extended amount of time are not normally conducive to peace of mind… Usually “vacation brain” doesn’t kick-in till the vacation in underway, if we are actually able to relax and enjoy… So, let’s rename and reframe.
How about “Zen-Brain”? However reasonable the initial association of “feeling on vacation” was to school-being-out and sunshine, something else is the inspiration. I find that continued focus on Transcendental Mindset™ and Mindfulness Practices gives way to Zen-Brain™. This has been part of my recent cocktail, and oh boy, what a pay-off! Feels like I’m on vacation every day!
Here is a preliminary attempt at “bottling” this, flowing from the structure of my Success Strategy™…
Embrace / Own Thyself (Context & Mindset)
Be authentic, claim your Gifts, establish-respect boundaries, let others be
I find that living by these makes life joyous. I find that embracing these makes life rewarding. I find that investing in how we do ourselves makes our life what we desire it to be.
How is your Transcendental Mindset? Are you able to let go of fear/control, guilt/blame, shame/inadequacies, grief/loss, lies/defenses, illusion/separateness, attachments/outcomes? This is easier said than done. Identify which of the above gives you the hardest time.
Make it your mission to conquer it and reap the benefits. What do you need to address this area of your life? Break it down and start putting stuff in place to support you in your Journey.
You’ll find that as you conquer these, life becomes so much more delightful and gratifying. Be gentle, caring and compassionate with yourself as you tackle this. This work is not for the faint of heart. Here is your first gold star for even considering tackling this. Keep rewarding yourself along way! Enjoy!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Embracing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Meditate, journal, vision, discuss, ponder, whatever, what these mean to you…
Be authentic
Be integrous
Be intentional
Be mindful
Be masterful
Play with integrating them more into your thoughts and interactions. Weave these in more and more into your Existence… Feel them, Be them.
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It’s interested that I’ve been finding myself saying to my daughter and husband, To get the right answer (answer to what we really want to know), we have to ask the right question. This has come up in situations in our personal life.
But, as I heard myself say this for the nth time, I realized there was actually something more meaningful and deeper going on for me than addressing a mundane activity or fact in relationship with my family.
I observed that working in supporting people create the relationship and life they desire, that we usually start in a place that is not feeling so good for them. They come see us because they are struggling, they are stuck, they are feeling hopeless, or simply not feeling well. There is Gap between where they are, and where they would like to be…
Actually, there is a gap between how they are Being and experiencing themselves and their world, and who they really are and the blessings they already in their world… There is a gap between themselves as they know themselves and their Higher-Self, Authentic Self… They are not really owning their brilliance, gifts, power, worthiness and such. They are usually victimizing themselves and operating from ego and defenses… I call this being dirty. LOL
When we operate from a clean and fully owned sense of self, our life becomes instantaneously amazing…
So, this brings me back to the asking of the right questions…
Consider these:
What’s the problem?
What’s bothering you?
What’s wrong?
What’s the matter with you?
Why did you do that?
Don’t you love me anymore?
Why are you so lazy?
To mention a few.
These questions are terrible! They imply brokenness, lack of resources, blame and criticism, and more. If we were to answer these questions, we’d answer with disempowerment, defensives, and such…
In my having my moment with this, I further embraced proper questioning as a therapeutic and general life changing approach, as this can be done outside the therapy room by and with anyone.
Consider these:
What aspects of you would you like me to see more?
What part of you is trying to come out and play?
How can I create safety for how you are trying to be yourself more?
How can I support your Authentic Self?
What topics can we talk about that highlight who we really are?
What can we put in place that pleases our Higher Self?
If we were operating from our Higher Self, how might we see this differently?
If we were operating from our Higher Self, what would we do differently?
If we have a higher-road approach to this, how would we respond?
If we consider the larger impact, how might we tackle this differently?
If I put my ego aside and used my heart right now, I would see that…
Eh? Isn’t that much better?? This is your H.W. Play with this concept. Ask everybody higher level questions… For in the asking something different, we create something different… In the better answers, we instantaneously experience something better… You’ll be surprised how well people respond and what inspiration ensues…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Questioning!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Think of a topic or situation, and have a brainstorm of how to ask productive and inspiring questions about it…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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