Hey, here is our chance to design our upcoming year. What will you add to yours? Being intentional about the relationship and life we create Allows us to create it… Intentioning is very powerful and underestimated… We want to be proactive and intentional about our life design, but we don’t want to be rigid with this… The key is focusing on what you would like to have more of in the New Year.
Step1-Clearing: Decluttering, letting go and making room for the new Step2-Celebrating: Reviewing and acknowledging experiences and accomplishments Step3-Contemplating: Visioning and planning for what we’d like for the New Year Step4-Candescenting: Mapping out of radiant experiences to expand ourselves Step5-Coordinating: Integrating plans and goals into your lifestyle Step6-Communing: Getting on the same page and collaborating on this with our partner
The thing is that depending on where we are in our relationship and our life, and our current circumstances, we might benefit from doing more or less planning…
~ The more we feel we, our relationship, and our life are a mess, the more we benefit from having a more concrete thought-out plan, that has clear routines, habits, and tactics. We need to really choose the things we want in our life that flow from our desires, vision, and values.
We can’t leave things to chance because things are so chaotic that we’ll just create more of that. Without a clear plan and guidelines, we’d just keep spinning and banging around… And the less likely we are to get out of this situation and current circumstances…
~ The more we feel we are doing ok, the lighter the planning can be where we can be more organic in our approach to our life. In this case we are in fabulous health, we are creating a radiant and successful relationship with our partner, and our life feels magical… We manifest easily and with ease.
Things feel smooth, pretty, and abundant most of the time. We’ve done the heavy lifting, all the doing, all the grinding and have moved to a more magnetic, flowy, and peaceful approach to all aspects of our life…
Our approach to our planning for wrapping up the current year and setting ourselves up for the New Year is to be tailored to where we are and how we are doing.
Regardless of whether we need a more organized plan or a more fluid plan, I want to offer the next level to our “planning”…
The next planning level has to do with bringing more awareness and intentionality to our planning…
Sometimes the vision we are working towards, and the goals and strategies we have been operating from, might be outdated… We could be expanding on preferences and desires conceived and outlined from an older version of ourselves… To add to this for our coming year would be a mistake for us as it keeps up with the ladder leaning against the wrong wall.
A revision and update might be needed to really capture how we have evolved and where we want to go…
And this is the icing:
The key is to focus on Allowing more of what we are looking to have more of by getting out of our own way. By Letting Go of outdated ideas, limiting beliefs, scripts, fear, defenses, ego, and such…
When we clean ourselves up and get lighter by reprogramming or releasing patterns and stuck energies, then we are more resourced to make our dreams come true, dreams without attachments, dreams that just feel fabulous in their own right… Dreams that just come true, easily and with ease as if by magic…
Consider what do you want more of in your relationship/life, and what do you need to let go of to be able to create that in your relationship/life- to Allow that to come into your relationship/life… More clarity and a cleaner slate help us do the right planning for us.
Then, set a clear Intention of what you desire, what you would like to experience, in the coming year to electrify and magnetize your plan… Make your plan come Alive…
APPLICATION: Decide if you need an organized or a fluid plan for the new year if you haven’t done yours yet. Make a commitment to create yours by end the end of the year…
~ Make sure you capture what the new version of you desires ~ Make sure you bring in what you’d like to add to your relationship/life in the New Year ~ Set an Intention for how you’d like the upcoming year to flow and feel
Approaching your yearly planning in a flexible manner that honors where you are at and who you are becoming is a delightful way to set yourself up to have your Best Year yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
When we cultivate a letting go practice, we proactively embrace the art of allowing… Huh? Does this sound like a foreign language to you? It did to me when I first started my self-love (spiritual) practice!
There is a whole other lingo that comes along as our self-care and self-love practice evolves… Letting go in relationships doesn’t have to do with just forgetting things and letting others step on us… Having a letting go practice is a whole art onto itself. It has to do with stopping the control and resistance and allowing our higher-self, the universe, to have our back…
Depending on where we are in our Journey, we can learn further Letting Go in Relationships for a more magical relationship and life experience…
~ If you are not very spiritual, or have a very minimalistic or non-existent self-care practice, then all of this might sound foreign and airy-fairy to you. I promise, that being open to and entertaining these concepts and practices more are literally relationship and life transformative…
~ If you are more middle of the road, this is a wonderful place to be as you have experienced the power and magnificence unleashed by being in this open and allowing state, and are still hungry for what else is available…
~ If you are further along in your Journey, you Know and live more in a Unity Consciousness state where allowing comes now more naturally to you and you effortlessly manifest a magical relationship/s and life…
With each of these levels there are more or less trauma, wounds, defenses/patterns, darkness/shadows (unseen parts of ourselves), limiting beliefs, and such still stuck in your body and psyche.
The more we’ve done our work, the cleaner or freer we become of these, and the more we become our Authentic Self- we shift from our Lower-Self to our Higher-Self…
The thing here is that we don’t want to make doing our work, another addiction, another habit, another pattern, another way of controlling, being rigid, and staying contracted…
I’ve had clients that managed to weaponize the tools and skills they learned in session! They would hold this very high standard for using them perfectly and a certain way, and blow a gasket when imperfection inevitably showed up… Heart-centeredness, compassion, connection, and collaboration went completely out the window…
When partners take responsibility for their own Journey, and stop making their partner wrong, victimizing themselves, and making a case for their limitations, they are then able to fully reside in their power. They can finally invite their partner into a gorgeous new dance…
Their mere shifting the focus from their partner to themselves, and how they can show up differently makes all the difference! This shift is possible when the partners start connecting to themselves more… This can be done with a rich self-love practice that includes proper self-care and mindfulness practices.
Partners focusing on their inner-world and connecting with themselves, helps them address their traumas, release their patterns, bring their shadows to light reprogramming themselves– literally rewiring and reconstituting themselves… They do all the healing and all the transcending…
These practices help Letting Go of the tightness, the contraction the rigidity, the control, the blame, the projections, the drama and all the crazy… Allowing for radiance and awesomeness to be a more prevalent experience…
Depending on where you are in your Journey, your letting go in relationships practice might look anything from:
Cleaning and decluttering your home
Clearing your calendar and lessening your workload
Softening your body and your language
Reauthoring scripts and upgrading belief systems
Accepting or making heart-felt and genuine apologies
Releasing repressed feelings and energies
To letting go of plans and strategies and operating from Knowing and the Now…
Embracing a Letting Go in relationships allows us to create, manifest, the relationship and life we desire…
APPLICATION: Take note of where you have excess, tight control, holding grudges and resentments…
~ Create a quiet moment to go within, sit comfortably, take a few deep breaths, relax your body ~ Tune into your body and ask it where is it holding any suffering or pain… ~ Ask that body part and the suffering/pain if it has a message for you, what does it want you to know, what does it need, what would it like… ~ Thank your body for all it does and the pain for alerting you of what you need… ~ Translate the message into an action- e.i., do a 30-day challenge or a 90-day commitment/declaration, declutter your home, open a savings account for a special project or goal, give an apology, release a behavior, etc.
Embrace a Letting Go practice that honors all of you and creates more space and lightness…
Allow radiance in your relationship and your life…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Things are changing rapidly nowadays in this almost Covid-19 post pandemic, or near endemic, world. We are entering a new phase where we are creating the Next Normal… I still prefer the term Better Normal over New Normal and now the Next Normal… Regardless, this is the time to move beyond what was into what could be…
We’ve experienced a lot of upheaval in the past 2 plus years, and as we choose where we go from here we have to let go of the old to fully embrace the new possibilities. Who we were pre-pandemic is at this point beyond outdated. For us to thrive we need to let go of the old first… Here is to embracing a letting go practice…
As most institutions are getting deconstructed, and we’ll see a lot more of this as we go, the key is to let go with ease, not to fight it…
And this applies to everything… The old ways of doing things are just going away… The hustle and the grind, the rules, the structures, the systems, the forcing and the white-knuckling… We are becoming a much more fluid society and world, to be embraced with more ease and grace. The more we resist this the more we’ll suffer, completely unnecessarily. The more we resist it, the more the suffering will persist…
The letting go has to happen at every level… From the way we think, to our beliefs, to our emotions, to our behaviors, habits and tactics. We are amid a big old deconstruction… And the more we hang on to wanting things like the used to be, or try to apply the old rules to the new world, the more we’ll feel out of sync, uncomfortable, and unhappy…
It’s exhausting to go against the grain, and if we are not aware of the new grain and keep going against it, we are in for a rude awakening…
Just last week I wrote about reparenting yourself, self-fathering yourself, by giving yourself more structure and systems to provide the security you need… The key is not to pursue this with a heavy hand and a suffocating approach – structure and systems don’t have to be rigid… I think that this is where we are going as a society and what better place to start than at home…
So, what does this mean on the practical and for our daily lives? This means getting rid of and letting go of anything that no longer serves you. Letting go of anything that doesn’t feel good, give you joy, and support you, your relationship, and the life you want to create.
This means clearing, cleaning and cleansing…
This includes:
What we do first thing when we get up in the morning, letting go of jumping into the day without connecting to ourselves first (energy/spiritual)
Deciding how we want to feel and embracing those feelings, letting go of anger, resentment, shame, guilt, blame, anxiety, worry, sadness and grief (feelings/emotional)
How we choose to look at our life, the world and those in it, letting go of judgement, separatism and polarization (thinking/intellectual)
Choosing what we’ll focus on and setting up the day to flow, letting go of numbing, controlling and forcing (habits/behavioral)
Simplifying everything and going with the flow, letting go of complexity and elaborateness (plans/strategic)
This is applicable to everything! From your daily routine, to your approach to food, to your health and wellness, to your connection with your partner, to your intimacy with your partner, to your parenting, to your finances, to your home décor, to your career plans, to the services you provide, to what kind of life you want…
Once you put on this lens and see the new reality, the possibilities, you can’t unsee it. Once you taste of it, you can’t untaste it. Once you wake up, you can’t unawake…
You can get super creative with where you apply this in your life… You can literally apply this to everything… You can apply this to how you exercise, to how you work, and even to how you deal with an affair or infidelity in your relationship…
We make life too difficult. We make our relationship too difficult. We make feeling well and happy too difficult. How about we start letting go of the old ways, of working super hard for everything, of making everything so challenging, of white-knuckling our life?
How about we start letting go of forcing things and embrace the beauty that our experience can actually be if only we get out of our own way? How about we start letting go of all the superfluous and all the noise and all the shame and pain?
How about we just embrace life at every moment with whatever shows up and go from there…
How about taking on a 30-Day Challenge to help you clear, to let go, to deconstruct, to reprogram, to change your egoic patterns, get out of your own way…
1 ~ Choose your approach – A morning letting go meditation, a 30-Day Challenge, clearing your commitments and calendar, decluttering your home, etc.
2 ~ Implement your approach – Embrace your tactic with gusto, play full out with acceptance, compassion and ease…
Enjoy!!!
A Letting Go Practice can easily be woven into you lifestyle and daily routine… Embrace this for creating more spaciousness, opportunities, flow and joy in your relationship and your life…
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat –Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner –Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting –Addressing inner child work to transmute your recurring patterns
~ Thriving After Infidelity™ – Stop the torture that comes from discovery, get your new footing, and transform your relationship so that’s better than ever before…
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
I’m operating with a new mantra, Keep clearing. Doing another round of letting go of the old (like possessions, processes, ways of thinking…), and I’m seriously embracing the concept of entering a New Era… Feeling amazing… Yay! How are you doing?
If we want change to happen, we have to change how we do things… We have to change how we look at things… We have to change how we are showing up, how we are choosing to Be. We have to be different to create a new reality… Change doesn’t just happen. And, especially it doesn’t happen by doing more of the same with stronger conviction… We just dig ourselves more and more into our status quo with that approach…
Our best thinking got us this far. But the mindset, capabilities, and tactics that got us here became outdated. It’s time to level-up if we are to create our best year yet, our best relationship yet, our best life yet. It’s time to clear the old if we are to have space for the new… It’s time to truly embrace our potential, our desires, our calling, our purpose, our mission. It’s time to step-it up if we are to play a bigger game.
Now, please do not let your Ego tell you, I’m good, I don’t need a bigger game… This is just your fear talking! Stop fooling yourself that you want a simple life. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is simple and there is Simple. I’m talking about going for the simple that implies mediocracy… Stop settling!
I’ll take simple vs complex as much as my current brain will allow me. Still working on cracking that code, on letting go of making things complicated… LOL But, I’m saying let’s go for an elegantly simply efficient and productive Grand Life…
We usually can’t snap our finger and switch gears. If it was that simple everyone would be living their Grand Life already… It requires owning our why, owning our values, owning our desires, owning our current level of investment into our values, owning our current level of functioning, and fully owning our current status in all areas of our life… It requires complete ownership, a truthful reality check, and full commitment to create our Grand Life…
Hey, you can choose to have your simple mediocre life. That’s always your prerogative, but then maybe I’m not the lid for your pot. And, that’s OK. I’m here to serve those that want to live their life to their full potential, who want to go for it. I’m here to serve those who want to save their marriage, their relationship. Who want to have an amazing relationship with their Partner.
I’m here to serve those that are not afraid to weather the tough times. Who are willing to do what it takes to stay in the game. Who are willing to look at how they contribute to their status quo, and to change how they do their side. Who are willing to stretch out of their comfort zone.
Who are willing to be uncomfortable as they stretch. Who make being uncomfortable their new norm, for as you keep evolving and creating awesomeness you’ll always be stretching and hence uncomfortable a lot…
Do you get that going for your Grand Life requires you fully show up to your life? Really show up… Are you willing to step up your game? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? If not now when…? Don’t wait for the perfect time to start working on things… In all reality, all it takes is a decision… Decide now you are no longer settling. Decide now to go full on for your Grand Life…
If you are struggling in your relationship or simply are going for its next best version, here is a wonderful relationship investment to do this Valentine’s Season:
Love Launch™
During the 4 Weekends leading to Valentine’s Day (or another occasion, or just because!), you are to make a real concerted investment at nurturing your relationship. Do it with gusto and to please your Partner. Put on the “dating lens” – remember you’d do anything for your partner once upon a time…? Go all out to make an impression. And, YOU enjoy the process as you go…
Include this 14 Day Love Challenge! Start on February 1st, or at any time you want to Jump-Start, Spring-to-Life, or Reset your relationship. Simple, yet powerful, Daily Relationship Nurturing Nuggets. Treat your partner right!
Kudos on subscribing to this Newsletter. Kudos on reading this Issue. Kudos on staying open to bringing your relationship and your life to the next level. Now, let’s do it!
ASSIGNMENT: If you are still on the sidelines, a passive bystander, know that you are just killing time and wasting your life. Why postpone your transformation, your results, having your Grand Life? It just doesn’t make sense! Please, PLEASE, make a commitment to get in the game, I’d hate to leave you behind.
You know that when we really want something, we get it… You know that you have made things happen before when you wanted to… Just decide you are going for it, really going for it not dabbling in it… It makes a MASSIVE difference…
Take a look at the Valentine’s Day Love Launch™ and Love Challenge™ and commit to playing full out – embrace the protocols and work it baby!
Make the commitment to invest in your Love Life… Here is to an amazing Love Season!
Can’t wait to delight you with our next goodie to help you properly invest in your relationship! Stay tuned for details!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Investing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How are you doing? Hope you are keeping the momentum from the New Year going… As I’m sure you already know, right about now people start floundering with their New Year Resolutions, Intentions and the like… Tomorrow is the 3rd Monday of the New Year and known as Blue Monday…
The end-of-year drive, the holidays merriment and the new year’s excitement all but come crashing down… This is when back to reality hits us like a ton of bricks.
This is when we realize we are not exactly where we want to be, and the New Year’s promises are quickly fading away. This is when we realize real change needs to happen and we don’t necessarily know how to make it happen. We might know what we want to change, we might even know how, but somehow, we can’t get traction…
This is when it becomes obvious that we can’t make changes with just pure willpower and desire… This is when things become bleak and we feel powerless and stuck. If you are rocking the New Year, Congratulations! Just beware that this can still hit you with a delayed impact if you are not proactively preventative…
It is challenging to get traction on the changes we want because unfortunately our brain is working against us – it doesn’t like change. We literally have brain structures to maintain homoeostasis… To keep things in the status quo. We also have our Ego protecting us from growth and change. It perceives these as a threat…
Change in our life is to the brain and ego like viruses are to our body. The defenses come out to attack any intrusion. Hence, we end up sabotaging our very efforts, wishes and desires…
The 3 main areas people usually want changes on are health, relationship and finances. If they use their genius, they might have set goals around these. Never mind mere Resolutions. 25% of people who set resolutions abandon them after 7days! Intentions and Focus Terms are great as icing on the cake, not as substitutes…
We don’t do much better with goals. Only 14% of Americans set goals, only 3% of them write them down, and only 1% of those review them daily when there is a 42% increase in goal achievement by merely setting them… This makes me sad for people’s ability to create what they want in their life…
So, if we go by these stats, it is very likely that you haven’t set goals and most likely that you haven’t written them down. Therefore, if you are serious about creating the life you want, if you are serious about not settling for a mediocre life, if you are serious about having your best human experience, then it is time to take goal setting seriously.
Seriously doesn’t mean this has to be complicated or a major production. Make it as easy as possible. Just go with the basics if you need a starting point: health, relationship and finances… You can tweak this to your heart’s desire of course, but if you make a commitment to embrace creating changes in these 3 areas you will make a significant improvement in your life…
Additionally, if we don’t want to struggle in achieving these goals, we have to make sure we don’t depend on willpower to work on these… Willpower only takes us so far and is limited… It depends on how we feel, our mood, our energy, our time, etc. If we are to achieve what we want, if we are to create the life we desire, we can’t leave it to chance…
How do we make sure we keep our goals forefront and actively work on them?
FIRST, we have to have a strong desire to achieve them. We have to have a strong Why behind them to inspire us and keep us motivated…
SECOND, we have to set ourselves up to achieve them, with structure and systems… This means we have to set up our daily life with routines around achieving these goals. And, we have to set up the routines with related Habits to automate our investment and take the effort out of it… Voila!
What do you say? Are you ready to really create the life you desire, your best life? Are you ready to set yourself up for an amazing decade? Are you ready for your best year yet? What do you say? Don’t be the majority statistic. Don’t let Blue Monday be a reality for you. Don’t let another year pass by without making a dent in creating the life you really want…
ASSIGNMENT: There is plenty of info out there on how. There are plenty of people having a say on all this. Your job is not to get more info and keep postponing your results. There is plenty on this blog anyway, even on this post alone, to help you get started… Your job is to decide you are going for it, commit to it and get started.
Here is your basic Strategy in its simplest form:
Step 1: Create 1 measurable stretch goal for your 3 life areas, with strong Whys for each
Step 2: Add 3 concrete recurring behaviors to each goal
Step 3: Integrate the recurring behaviors into your daily/weekly/monthly routine(s)
Don’t let this significant time pass you by. The sooner you plan and set your goals, the sooner you’ll start working on them, the longer you’ll have a chance to achieve them… You can rock this!
Make a commitment to no longer settle. Make a commitment to live your best life. Set yourself up to create what you desire right now. Seriously, do your Strategy now – start the week right, start the rest of your life right!
And, because we know it’s not easy to make changes on our own, we are creating some new goodies to help you with the Relationship & Connection area… Stay tuned for more details coming soon!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Strategizing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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