Don’t you just love it when things fall into place, when things work out smoothly, when things are wonderfully addressed before they are minded, when things are on the right track and moving right along? I’m having one of those weeks. Yay! And, wish you the same 10-fold!
As you might already know, I’m great at setting up structure, organization and systems. This is my logic brain. As you might also know, I’m also very creative, passionate and intuitive. This is my other brain. They are both highly developed and together make a wonderful asset in my life. This helps me capitalize on what is important to me and operate better from my Values, personally and professionally:
All the things that are important to me and the way I operate are captured with these 5 Core Values… In a nutshell:
Connection to higher power, self, family and other loved ones, community and the world at large.
Personal, professional and business development and growth.
Fully accountable, proactive, dependable, intentional and responsible to others.
Honorable, truthful, trustworthy, loyal, fair, and transparent.
Highest level of wellness, performance, efficiency, aesthetics, value provision, and Service.
These help me make decisions in all areas of my life including things like relating, commitments, activities, projects, etc. Values are not mutually exclusive, static or live in a vacuum. I like to look at these as building on each other and enhancing each other as well. I experience mine as Leveraged Values™. The cocktail they represent for me is extremely empowering. I find that when I fully honor my Values, is when things work out the best…
Here you can identify and capture your own Values by completing this simple exercise I found for this purpose: Values Exercise.
This is just another way to know ourselves better and to utilize ourselves to our fullest potential. Our Values integrated with our other qualities, strengths and assets make us unique and uniquely qualified to create and live our own amazing life… Don’t give your power away or live your life by default!
Once you have these handy, you can be intentional about everything. You won’t get caught over committed to things you don’t enjoy, or don’t make sense for the overall design of your life. This helps you find balance, harmony, joy, peace, meaning, happiness. This helps you have a fulfilling and rewarding life.
Take some time for yourself this weekend and play with these concepts. Identify what makes you unique and special, grab your Purpose, Values, Virtues, and Unique Brilliance. Let these guide your every move going forward. Let this be your Guiding Principle, your prime directive… Let the real you rule always!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Ruling!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Put all your extra-curricular activities through the Leverage ValuesTest™. Each activity needs to meet a few of your Values and not impinge on another. If doing one thing hurts something else, then that activity is not actually flowing from your Values…
Disengage yourself from that activity, commitment, etc. ASAP… You’ll experience immediate relief, flow of energy, more joy, and the like. You’ll be surprised how much of a negative impact that was having under the guise of being something valuable…
Keep doing this till you are living your most authentic life… Enjoy!!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Hope you are having an amazing week and are enjoying this summer-like weather! I’m ready for my mums, pumpkins and fall wardrove, but I’m still ok with the sun and warm weather… It’s been hectic around here with new Autumn projects both personally and professionally. But, not losing sight of flowing from values, staying focused, keeping things simple, leaving room for breathing, and the like. How are you doing with this (the Essentialism) concept?
Sometimes it’s challenging to narrow down our focus, choose our commitments, systematize our operations, protect against distractions, and capitalize on our strengths… We want to please. We want to impress. We want to be a part of it all. We find everything interesting or fun. We like to juggle and change things up. We wing it…
This is a sure way to burn oneself out, live with a lot of stress, have things fall through the cracks, not excel at what we do, not be as productive as we can be, not make an impact or get a lot of satisfaction at the end of the day. This is just a lot of busy.
We create a more meaningful and rewarding journey, and life when we:
These lenses help make the right choices for us… They invite us to operate from our Passion and from our Strengths… Our Virtues are our Character Strengths. As a parent of a teenager, and just because, I like to play with developing/identifying and honoring our character strengths, living by our Virtues… But sometimes knowing these is even challenging!
I love that we can actually measure our Character Strengths. Woohoo! So glad I found this resource. Our Character Strengths can be classified into these categories:
Wisdom
Courage
Humanity
Justice
Temperance
Transcendence
Once we know what our Virtues/Character Strengths are, we can capitalize on these as opposed to trying to be somebody we are not… We can use these to implement our Essentialism philosophy, to relate to others, to parent, to build our teams, and so on. Knowing and utilizing ourselves well makes a huge difference in our productivity and satisfaction level across all areas of our life…
And of course, knowing how we operate best and what are our Practical Strengths is also essential… If our talents are wasted we are not doing anybody any good, specially ourselves! This goes hand-in-hand with the concept of Unique Brilliance, initially developed as Unique Ability by Dan Sullivan.
When we operate from our Unique Brilliance we leverage our talents and strengths. Operating from our Unique Brilliance means we only do things we are awesome at… The rest is a waste of our time!
Focusing on utilizing our Unique Brilliance allows us to let go of the rest, to reassign, delegate, outsource… You can identify your Unique Brilliance, using the: Unique Brilliance Quadrant, sorting all the tasks on your plate by your skill/strength level. Use this to choose what you say “yes” to and what you allow on your plate, in all areas of your life… The goal is to eventually only have tasks at which you are Uniquely Brilliant!
When you start operating from this approach, you free up tons of time! You become more productive, enjoy what you do a lot more, you have more time and energy to spend with your loved ones and to pursue different kinds of fun, your everyday life becomes seamless and your life journey more meaningful. You feel more competent, awesome, energized – simply Brilliant!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Shining!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Complete your Unique Brilliance Quadrant, tracking all the tasks currently on your plate by if you excel or don’t into the respective quadrants. You can do one for your personal life and one for your professional/entrepreneur life.
Note, all the tasks currently on your plate that fall into the two bottom quadrants… This is what is killing your energy, stressing you out, and taking the joy out of your everyday life… These tasks should not be on your plate!
Starting with the bottom right quadrant, start reassigning, delegating, or outsourcing those tasks… Keep going till this box is empty!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I hope things are wonderful in your world. I hope you have been taking my advice to heart and simplifying your life. I hope you are entertaining, if not embracing, the concept of Essentialism. For in pursuing the Essentialism Lifestyle™ you allow yourself to live a fuller and more meaningful life…
There is peace, joy and abundance in the spaces in between, in the taking a breath, in the quiet, in the focusing your attention, in the saying No to the extra, in the asking for help or support. There is Flow in this… There is more bandwidth, energy, effectiveness, productivity, impact, and reward…
With a more streamlined approach to life, you get to be in the moment more. To enjoy the little things more. To savor life more. To connect with your loved ones more. And therein is the magic…
Before the Holiday Season is upon us and we wonder what happened to Autumn, let’s make sure we take this concept seriously to slow down time…, keep our sanity, or better yet to enjoy much happiness and wellness. It is with much pleasure that I bring to you the Autumn Bucket List!
This is not to do everything on the list and pack your free time with extra stuff. Rather, this is meant as an inspiration to create more free time to allow you to enjoy the good things in life… Don’t make it a goal to cross of everything on this, or your own list… Rather, look at this list for inspiration, glee, amusement and replenishment…
Take a look at your Teams – your family members, your coworkers, your colleagues, and such. What kind of team member are you? I’ll bet, because you are reading this, you tend to take on more than your share…
It’s time to own the concept of simplicity, of putting better systems and accountability in place, of working off strengths, of setting better boundaries, and of focusing on priorities. Focusing on the vital few commitments versus the trivial many is where the rubber meets the road!
Here are a few pointers towards Essentialism:
Protect your time from interruptions and distractions
Limit time with energy-zapping people or activities
Only make commitments you want to keep
Compassionately and gently tell others you can’t meet their request
Set clear expectations and accountability
Let others carry their own weight
Select your Big Focus and safeguard it from the rest
Block off “unscheduled time”
Use the “unscheduled time” to nurture yourself, to ponder, to Be
This brings us back to sprinkling joyful activities into our life. If you plan an outing with the kids or your partner in the name of sprinkling joyful activities but you end up more stressed out, tired and aggravated, maybe it’s time to reconsider how you refill your cup…
Obviously, how the activity is set up and carried out, and how the interactions are allowed to play out are important in and of themselves. But this is for another topic. In the meantime, focus on what actually gives you Joy. The benefit is exponential…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Sprinkling!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
What areas in your life create the most chaos, are overflowing with to-dos, are the least productive, and give you the most agita?
Make a commitment with yourself to tackle this area from an Essentialism angle: streamline, cut out, set boundaries, FOCUS.
Stay on this till there is more room to breathe, then reward yourself with a super fun or nurturing activity.
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It doesn’t fully look like Autumn yet, but it’s beginning to feel like it with the slight chill in the air and the days getting shorter. It feels cozy but not in a lazy kind of way. It feels like newness, inspiration, motivation, new beginnings. Do you feel it?
This feeling comes with an energy that rumbles, gets a grip and gnaws at you till it’s put to good use. It feels like an engine revving. I love this feeling, this is when I want to start a million new projects and have to be mindful about what I choose to take on. They all feel exciting, important, and fun.
This is when the minimalist concept I like to play with comes in. I’ve actually updated this to the concept of Essentialism… Where we focus on what is important, what gives the fastest and better results, what has the most meaning, the most value, the most impact, and such… This is one of my growth places for I like complex things, I like to be busy, I like to tackle a lot, and such… I’m known for this in my circles. LOL
But, I recognize non-essentialism and its related pain a mile away now for myself, and others. I’m aware I’m on the spectrum with this, and I like it that way. I’m not shooting for complete, pure essentialism (I might one day, one never knows!). I am though shooting for continued movement towards more sustained ease, peace and joy. And, this is where the pursuit of essentialism holds a lot of promise…
As the new season, back2school, and Q4 are here, these are dangerous times. This is when the revving rears its ugly head. In anticipation, I tackled some of this towards the end of the summer in my writing, posts, sessions, and of course my personal and professional life. But, it’s feeling imminent to be more direct and assertive about it now as I watch those around me being seduced by the allure.
There are a few factors that play out in this magnetism to our demise. We make decisions in a vacuum, we look at each instance on their own merit and not as part of the whole. We make decisions based on our values but still following the more is better approach. We pursue our commitments blind, unprepared, un-resourced, and alone. We take a “spaghetti against the wall” approach when looking for solutions.
We react, put out fires, try this and that in an effort to fix issues that are more systemic in nature. We meddle, mingle, dabble without enough knowledge and commitment for our efforts to make a difference. You get the gist. This is a life lived by default… There is no overarching structure, plan, Design…
I’m witness, as I’m sure you are, to people running from one commitment to another. They are double, and triple booked. They squeeze in something into every second of the day. They try to do it all. They say yes to everything. And, even if they don’t they say yes to a whole lot.
There is no guiding master plan. There are no in-betweens. There is no just being. There is no milking the moment. There is no ease. There is no flow. There is little inspiration. And, what little inspiration is there it can’t be acted on because there is no room to do so!
Then there is another breed, that might think they don’t fall into the category of the above because they pursue only what they want… But they way overdo that! They end up in the same boat and missing out on other Opportunities…
Where do you fit in? Is your life demanding and you are now recognizing that it’s too full, even of the good stuff? Did you have good intentions of not overdoing it again this season but here you are with a spilling over plate again? Are you so stretched out that you can’t even think straight to begin to remedy the situation?
Are you so taxed that you can’t sleep, don’t feel emotionally well, and even physically well? I have seen these people’s lives not pan out as they desired. Their health suffered. Their marriages didn’t make it. Their children were impacted. Does this make any sense, to pursue a full life that ends up being too full for our own good?
Here is where the concept of essentialism can help. Can you get on the spectrum? Can you be curious about the concept? Can you start playing with it? Can you put on the “essentialism lens” and run your decisions through it to prevent overdoing it?
Can you take it a step further and use the lens to review your current lifestyle and see what feels like too much, even of a good thing…? Start there. Start by assessing and beginning to get a grip. Then, it’s ok to let this momentum get going, and start streamlining… This is good to entertain. Your Life depends on it!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Streamlining!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
When do you feel the most frazzled? When do you become the most irritable? When do you feel like throwing in the towel and running away? When do you collapse from exhaustion?
What commitments, projects, teams, groups, responsibilities, get on your nerves? Frustrate you the most? Zap your energy and creative juices?
What areas of your life suffer from lack of adequate attention? What areas of your life do you wish you had more time for? What areas are getting a lot of coverage and others not enough, according to your value system?
Start making the necessary adjustments to live the life you want!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It is my sincerest wish that you have gotten everything you’ve wanted out of the Summer Season this year. If as you read that statement there is a little voice that says, I wish, or, Yeah right, it’s not too late! Regardless of which camp you are in, look at the next two weeks of August as a time to milk the last of the Summer Season.
Make it good! Now is the time to review your Summer Bucket List and squeeze in any activity or experience you would still like to have. Get in touch with what would make it a successful, satisfying summer at the end of the day and go for it!
As we are beginning to wrap up the Summer Season and setting up for a smooth, productive, and abundant Fall, I’m playing with the concept of success habits… When it comes to doing our everyday actions, we usually go about our day in autopilot and through habits.
This is great because it allows us to use our energy, focus and mental bandwidth for higher executive endeavors. The caveat with this is that our automatic habits were created by default, reactivity, and on the fly. This lack of intentionally sets us up to undermine ourselves as we go.
The lack of intention on how we set up our days, the routines we follow, the vices we allow, the thoughts we entertain, and just how we show up in our life creates a mediocre, or downright horrible experience. I too often witness people bumping along in life… They have no ownership, no clarity, no direction. They go through the motions, they aspire for little, they sell themselves short, they get in their own way…
These same people don’t have much life satisfaction and meaning, experience poor health and relationships, their life is riddled with drama and excuses. They move slow and don’t make much happen. They are not really living to their full potential, to their greatness, nor experiencing life the way they were meant to. They are not fully Living their human experience…
We want to systematize and automate as much as possible, so our bandwidth is available for more meaningful activities and not just the management of life… The key is to own our system and our automation, for us to program, instruct, and set up how the program is to run…
They key is also to set it up efficiently, streamlined, and on target. We all have ways we do things, but how much thought went into creating that way. Does the way actually support, serve and honor us at the end of the day?
This is where Intentional Habits™ come in. Intentional habits flow from our values and are meant to automate the building blocks of our daily life, allowing us to experience an amazing Journey. When the basic of life is intentionally set up, we create a strong foundation from which to build the Life we want. What is important to us in our life?
Loving and nurturing Relationships, health and longevity, financial and other abundance? When we identify what is important to us and what we value, the rest of our decisions flow from there… These decisions include how we do our days.
We don’t want to overthink every decision to make sure it lines up with our values, or to overthink every behavior or action we take. That’s way too much work. This is why we set up routines as we identify and implement Intentional Habits™.
We want to get rid of any habits that undermine our wellbeing and our desires in life, what we value…
We want to create habits that support our wellbeing and our desires in life, what we value…
We want to build routines (systematization, automation) around these for ease of implementation and sustainability.
Clean-up, set-up, line-up and move on!
Every action, every behavior, every thought, everything we do every day is what creates the fabric of our Life. It behooves us to own we do, to intentionally choose it all, so we create what we desire. It behooves us to get out of our own way, to stop sabotaging ourselves, to stop holding ourselves back. Embracing Intentional Habits™ makes this possible, makes our life well Lived possible. Don’t choose to just survive, choose to thrive!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Thriving!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Start out by identifying immediate, blatant habits that undermine you. Tackle these with a vengeance. Eradicate them! Start with one or two at a time, be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you go.
Replace undermining with supportive habits, implement Intentional Habits™. You choose the habit (mediating, exercising, juicing, giving hugs, sending Hello texts, date night, family night, reading, cutting expenses, adding to savings, etc.) and add it to a thought out simple yet powerful daily/weekly/monthly routine…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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