Why settle for a mediocre relationship and life when you can have an extraordinary relationship and life? Extraordinary does not mean complex, chaotic, demanding and such. People choose simple because it is easier, but extraordinary doesn’t have to be complicated…
They might already have a pretty good relationship and life, they are comfortable, and so they settle for good. That’s fine if that’s what you want. But in my book, if we are going to live this life, we might as well make it great- including our relationship. No?
I’m going to assume that you are in the camp of wanting to make your relationship and your life great otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this or be part of our family…
So, how do we make our relationship and our life great? It is actually really simple, we expect it, we plan for it, and we strive towards it…
You see the first issue is that we don’t believe we can have our best relationship and our best life… At some level we don’t believe we deserve it… We give up before we even get started!
Then, we get a commitment from our partner and start making some strides in life and we get comfy. We neglect our partner and don’t stretch ourselves into the best we can be. We bang around in our relationship and our life… We plan parties and vacations more than we plan our relationship and our life…
And finally, we don’t support ourselves in working towards creating what we desire. We don’t have a working strategy for creating what we want. We don’t have a way to stay the course, invest seamlessly, and enjoy the process on the way.
How are we then supposed to move from Good to Great? Not for nothing people settle or struggle…
But like we already established, this doesn’t have to be complicated, challenging, or complex… It just takes commitment, focus, and intentionality to address your programming, your planning, and your grit…
Let’s start right now, shall we?
PROGRAMMING – You don’t believe you can have an epic love affair with your partner, have a radiant and successful relationship, and extraordinary life because you don’t believe you deserve it…
You might think it’s impossible to create these for all the reasons you give yourself- like your partner is emotionally stunted or not game, you are both too busy to nurture your relationship and besides you don’t even know how, it’s embarrassing to explore more with your partner, one or both of you have insecurities and/or commitment issues, and so on…
And that was just in terms of your relationship… What reasons- excuses do you come up with when it comes to your life?
In the meantime, at a deeper level, your programming of being unworthy and undeserving is wreaking havoc… This is why you have repeating patterns in your life, this is why you can’t seem to get ahead, this is why everything feels hard, this is why you have physical and mental health issues, this is why there is other funky stuff in your life…
Antidote:
~ A simple solution is to implement a Self-Love Practice that in and of itself helps unravel the programming as you are showing yourself you are deserving and worthy by giving love to yourself…
~ Another simple way to do reprogramming is by doing 30-Day Challenges to address egoic patterns…
PLANNING – How are you supposed to create or build something without a blueprint? How are you supposed to go on a trip without an itinerary? How are you supposed to win the game without a game plan? Whatever analogy resonates for you, let’s take it to heart.
Do you plan parties or vacations? Or does your partner? Regardless, as a couple you probably put in more time into planning these than planning your relationship and your life… You might have given some thought to your home renovations, your investments, your children’s college tuition, and your retirement, but is that the extent of it?
Now, I know you might not even have done those. It’s ok, we are not here to shame you. Just highlighting that your life can use a little more intentionality, that’s all. And, if you have done those, you might be asking what else is there.
Your Game Plan is to be a simple blueprint for creating your best relationship and your best life, not just a basic life… It’s a plan to move from Good to Great…
Antidote:
~ Now, a Game Plan, a Strategy, and such might seem overwhelming and tedious. But let’s make this as simple as possible… Choose an aspect of your relationship or life that you’d like to take to the next level and explore what would that feel and look like once you achieve it. Now take an action to start getting you closer to that desire. After the action, choose the next, and then the next and so on until before you know it you’d have gotten to the next level…
~ If you are more ambitious, map out steps, tactics, habits, activities, support and milestones to add to your daily routine and weekly and monthly rhythms to crank towards your desires…
GRIT – People usually shy away from “hard work”, dedication, commitment, focus, loyalty, and other personal characteristics and habits because they have a wobbly sense of self. They don’t believe in themselves and have an identity that aligns with that, which of course doesn’t include self-discipline and such…
Some people are born with grit others can cultivate it… If you are one of the lucky ones for whom this is inherently part of your make up, acknowledge this blessing and appreciate it for you are ahead of the game. If you are one of who don’t identify as having grit, no worries- there are ways around this. We can help you build grit and get your jump start while you cultivate it…
The point about grit is that you need this to stay the course, to invest consistently in what you desire, to keep trying until you crack the code, to stay on it until you get what you want…
Now, you might be thinking, Yikes, that’s intense, who wants to live like that? Well, my friend, that’s what it takes to create an extraordinary relationship and life. Otherwise, we are on the other side, the settling for mediocre side… But I promise, we’ll do this simply and with ease…
Antidote:
~ This part might feel really scary, but it doesn’t have to be. First things first, identify a character strength you’d like to develop that would support you in your Journey. Then set about exploring and practicing this character strength daily.
~ Secondly, you don’t have to depend on poor sheer will power and self-discipline to make things happen. Instead, leverage tools (i.e., calendar, reminders, bill pay), automation (i.e., recurring events, autoresponders, automatic deposits/transfers), support (i.e., accountability, subscriptions, concierges), habits (i.e., wellness, connection and success habits), and such to have your own back.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually you get there…
So, seamlessly, simply, and with ease you can stay the course and move from a good relationship and life to great ones. It doesn’t have to be challenging to create your radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life… Be extraordinary my friend, create greatness!
APPLICATION: Make a decision to be extraordinary and to create greatness, to move from Good to Great in your relationship and your life…
Choose the area that needs the most attention first to get the most leverage creating what you desire, and dig in with gusto into that area till you feel your shift and start getting traction towards creating what you desire…
~ Programming Implement a Self-Love Practice Play with 30-Day Challenges
~ Planning Embrace An Action at a Time Map Out Your Steps/Actions
~ Grit Develop Character Strengths Implement Systems and Habits
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life –Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat –Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner –Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting –Transmuting the patterns keeping you stuck by reprogramming yourself through inner child work
~ Thriving After Infidelity™ – Stop the torture that comes from discovery, get your new footing, and transform your relationship so that’s better than ever before…
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
As we turn toward the summer months, I’m sure you have already planned your trips and vacations for your summer fun and leisure. But have you planned your summer couple fun yet? You might be wondering what the difference is. The difference is the focus on the couple and not on the actual activity… If you want to uplevel your relationship this summer, focus on summer couple fun…
Hey, I’m not saying the trip, the vacation or the beautiful settings are wasted. They can certainly contribute to the unplugging, relaxation, refreshing, recharging, inspiration, joy and fun. But I’m talking about taking this a step further, whether it’s on your vacation or at home!
The key is connecting on your experiences real or imagined…
I know that the best vacations and trips we’ve had stand out in my mind the most not for the trip itself but for the connection I experienced with my husband. One can make a case that it is easier to connect while on vacation as there is more time together and less distractions. Sure, I’ll grant that only if there is little intention about connecting at home, and if you are great at connecting on vacation…
I know that you can have amazing connection at home. I also know that you can have the worst trip ever. Just saying…
So regardless of your actual summer plans, let’s build-in some summer couple fun for deeper connection and more awesomeness in your relationship.
This will sure uplevel your relationship this summer!
Summer Bucket List- Take turns adding activities to your summer bucket list, make sure to add a special touch or different flavor to them, and share why you’d like to do said activities. Share why it’s special, intriguing, meaningful, fun and the like.
Then play full out at doing items from your list. *Add recurring events to your calendar to do your seasonal bucket list with your partner at the change of every season… The activity is fun in and of itself and you’ll have your future-couple’s back as well.
Summer Dream- Select a weekly time for the next 4 weeks to dream with your partner. This is a time to share your dreams, life vision, goals, and deepest desires… Be detailed, dream it up. Empty your brain of your ideas and wishes. Have a big old brainstorm. This is a time to be super curious about each other’s life intentions, desires, and preferences. Discuss if you wish to take any action on anything that came up and what that is…
Summer Transformation- As everything slows down in the summer, this is a great time to explore, experiment, engage, enjoy, expand, enrich, engineer, execute something different… This is a great time to create a shift… Share how you feel about your Journey. And what character strengths you want to cultivate to stay the course on becoming who you are… Discuss how you can support each other and take an action to that end.
Summer Manifestation- Discuss what would make this your Best Summer Yet and why. What would you wish to experience and/or accomplish? What would you want to feel? What would you focus on? What do you need to support your wish? What is a next action step to get the ball rolling on this and who will take it? What else needs to happen to get the results you desire? How will you know you manifested your wish at the end of the summer?
Summer Passion- When was the last time you talked about your intimacy? How did that go? What changes have you made since then? Have a discussion about your emotional and physical intimacy, with compassion, grace and understanding… Decide where you are on the passionate relationship spectrum and how you’ll like to proceed towards creating your epic love affair with each other…
If you want to create anything in your life, you have to go for it!
This does not mean white-knuckling your way through it or forcing anything. But it does mean dreaming it, engaging with it, sharing it, enjoying it- even before it’s here, focusing on having it and enjoying it, and of course taking inspired action towards it…
The tactics provided help you create your best life, co-creating it with your partner and having fun doing it… This is how you uplevel your relationship, and your life!
APPLICATION: Start switching gears to have fun this summer with your partner…
1 ~ Choose your Summer Couple Fun tactic Summer Bucket List – Discuss the fun activities you want to experience Summer Dream – Share your life vision, dreams, and desires Summer Transformation – Explore Character Strengths you want to cultivate Summer Manifestation – Brainstorm tackling summer projects Summer Passion – Consider how to expand your intimacy repertoire
2 ~ Play full out with your chosen tactic Add events to your calendar, set reminders, make reservations, integrate new habits into your routine, sign-up or enroll for classes or supportive services, tweak your environments, and such…
Enjoy!!!
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life –Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat –Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner –Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting –Addressing inner child work to transmute your recurring patterns
~ Thriving After Infidelity™ – Stop the torture that comes from discovery, get your new footing, and transform your relationship so that’s better than ever before…
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Radiant Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Couples are always looking for different ways to enjoy each other’s company and have fun together. It’s not easy to keep things fresh and interesting unless the partners are intentional about it. The easiest way to stay on top of this is to make keeping things fresh a part of your lifestyle… Nurturing your couple is a key component to create your successful relationship.
I know this is easier said than done, especially when partners are so busy keeping up with the regular demands of everyday life. They barely have time to cover the basics, they don’t even get to self-care, never mind thinking about integrating fun into their lifestyle. LOL
But this doesn’t have to be so challenging. There are a fewthings to keep in mind to make sure the couple doesn’t fall to the wayside.
We are talking:
🥰 Mindset around nurturing the couple 🤓 Commitment and intentionality that includes a system for making it happen 🤔 Generating ideas for keeping things fresh and interesting
When we prioritize the couple, the whole relationship becomes a lot stronger… The family and home take on a better flavor, life becomes smoother… Your relationship becomes more radiant and super successful…
Watch the video to learn about the 3 concepts to help you more easily nurture your couple and keep things fresh and interesting!
APPLICATION: Identify where you need to focus to improve prioritizing and nurturing your couple:
Mindset around nurturing the couple – Review how you prioritize your partner, the couple and the relationship, and address any weirdness around priorities, focus, fairness, deservingness, balance, tit for tat, giving/receiving, etc and upgrade the importance of giving your partner TLC
Commitment and intentionality that includes a system for making it happen – Make a commitment to be all in, to woo your partner, to take real good care of them, and add Connection and Delight Partner Habits into your daily routine
Generating ideas for keeping things fresh and interesting – Use the seasons, holidays, interests, hobbies, preferences, desires, dreams, bucket lists, and the like to come up with activities and experiences to do together and/or gift to your partner
Give yourself some time to sit with the item that needs attention until you fully grasp where you stand and what you’d like to do about it. Then share your insight and intention with your partner. Make it a positive and fun discussion, focused on how you’ll step it up a notch!
Placing your couple in its rightful place of top priority and tending it makes a huge difference to how the partners feel and the strength of the partnership. Keeping your relationship top of mind and intentionally nurturing it ongoingly helps keep things fresh… There is nothing worse than an ignored relationship and stale couple…
Make sure this is not you, pour your love into your interactions and towards your partner. Starting right now. Go for it!
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Often times couples get so hang up in the business of running their life, attending to their family and other responsibilities, and working that being together, enjoying each other and having fun falls to the way side.
This creates a terrible state of affairs where after a while couples forget how to have fun together … Too often I hear couples question whether they still have anything in common or if they ever did, wonder how to rebuild that into their relationship, and struggling with it once they do.
Our partnership, long-term relationship or marriage, cannot be all business. This is the quickest way to fall out of love, take each other for granted, not feel each other or feel disconnected, get on each other’s nerves, lose attraction, and other crippling states.
It behooves us to make investing in our relationship a priority. This can take on many forms – nurturing gestures, spending quality time together, outings and trips, sharing dreams, completing joint projects, learning and using new relationship skills, building the tolerance muscle of allowing each partner to Be themselves and bringing that to interactions and fun time …
Create space to allow fun in your relationship and a system for making it happen! Watch the video above to guide you in immediately incorporating fun in your relationship.
5 Tips for Extra Relationship Fun:
1) Embrace differences
2) Create own Wish Lists of 10+ “fun” ideas
3) Pick from each other’s lists and plan the activity you each choose
4) Stretch to gift your partner from their list …
5) Systematize for ongoing fun … !
It’s time to have fun! Watch the video to learn about these steps and start applying them now. Complete the MetroRelationship (sm) Assignment below to assist you effortlessly make changes and immediately start experiencing the relationship you want!
Enjoy your relationship like never before. Bring your uniqueness, interests, excitement and Self to your fun time. Be with your partner to have fun!
Happy Fun Times!!
~ Your MetroRelationship™Assignment
How do you like to have fun? What are your interests? Are you pursuing them? How do you spend your down time? How do you recharge? How do you feel alive? How do you feel sexy? When are you super excited? What makes you laugh? What touches your heart? What are adventurous things on your must-dos-before-I-kick-the-bucket list? If you don’t have one, make one! Ponder these things, explore, pursue, share … Give your partner a preview …
Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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