Mid-March – how about them apples? Times flies when you are having fun, or are too busy! LOL Hopefully it’s the former for you. How is it going? Having a good week? Having a good month (March can be rough on people)? Having a good quarter…?
As we are quickly approaching the end of Q1, this is a perfect time to check if we are on track for the year. This might be tough to face if you were slow getting started with your new year’s strategy.
It’s common that people don’t invest time at the end of the year in planning for the new year. This leaves them planning and strategizing at the beginning of the year. Which in turn prolongs the time that it takes them to actually start working on their strategy and the new goals.
This might still be the case for you if you don’t necessarily create a “strategy” for the year, but set some resolutions, intentions, focus, goals, or such. You might have gotten to the game a bit late.
Also, it might not have been easy to get moving, regardless of how much ahead planning you did, if you experienced some winter blues. You might have had the best of intentions, and then BAM! The winter blues hit and you just couldn’t get a strong enough grip implementing your strategy or getting traction fast enough.
There is yet, something else that might be getting in the way of rocking Q1 regardless of how much planning or not you’ve done. That is having the winter blahs (cabin fever) which has or is slowing you down…
With all of the above you are not alone! These are all very common, and hence the focus of this post.
Then again, maybe the above are not the case for you, and you have been plowing along nicely. Kudos and congrats, you are in the minority and deserve acknowledgement!
Regardless of the boat you are in, this check-in is a mechanism to regroup, refocus, and realign as necessary. It’s not meant to kick your butt or make you feel bad for not being further along than where you’d wish you’d be. The check-in is meant to course correct as necessary. And, this applies to whether you’ve been moving along or not. You want to make sure you are always on your best-known path…
Personally, I like to use the quarterly check-ins to trim off the fat of my usually overly ambitious agenda. I streamline it to what I really want to get done for the quarter… This is a purge to let go of projects, tasks, and routines that might be too much to accomplish or serve as distractions for making the desired dent in the last stretch of the quarter. It’s used to hone-in on accomplishing and experiencing what would make a difference.
Look at your goals and daily approach, and aggressively pare down on the over-ambitiousness, noise, and irrelevant to your progress and enjoyment focusing only on what will result in added Value and Joy:
Leave only that elegant project to complete by the end of the quarter. Cut out miscellaneous little projects or to-dos…
Leave also very targeted self-care and connection habits. Cut out the fluff that feel like time-wasters and that don’t make that much of a difference to you in the moment and long-term…
Leave commitments that enrich your life. Cut out the ones that stress you out or make you feel bad about yourself…
Leave functional tasks that make your life run smooth. Automate, delegate, outsource, or pause any other tasks that you hate to do, are time-sucks, or that can wait…
The idea is to focus on ROI (return on investment) as much as possible so you cross the finish line with the gold.
This is also a great time to check-in with your Partner about the status of things:
How are you seeing and experiencing each other? If your partner is getting on your nerves, remember the 80/20 rule. Where 80% of what is bothering you is actually about you, and 20% about how your partner is being and what they are doing… It’s time to check your relationship mindset!
How is your communication and are you on the same page? If your communication is not flowing well, if you are having frequent arguments, if arguments are explosive, and if it takes a while to regroup from negative interactions then your communication skills might need a little upgrading… It’s time to reinstate the tools you already have or get new ones!
How is your relationship dynamic? Have any dissatisfying/negative recurring patterns? If you find that you are still (or again) power-struggling, your needs are probably not being met appropriately. It’s time to revisit how your needs are being met and how to meet them better!
How is your connection and intimacy? If you feel like two ships passing in the night. If you find that you are always together, but things are friends/roommate-like and boring. If you are having little physical intimacy and affection. You might be focusing too much on your professional and/or domestic life, and not enough on being partners/lovers… It’s time to refocus on the people in the relationship vs the roles and tasks!
How is your partnership? Are you a well-oiled machine? If you find you are not current with each, not supporting each other, not sharing responsibilities somewhat evenly, and/or not working towards a common goal, you don’t have a good structure and systems in place to help you collaborate and properly run the joint business of life. It’s time to get your house in order!
Take that feedback to help you regroup and reprioritize for Q2… Make sure you set relationship goals. Make sure that you explore behavior changes and create new relationship enrichment and connection habits. Make sure you sprinkle relationship nurturing rituals into the mix. This is your H.W., to set up your relationship to be more amazing in Q2!
For now, make a commitment to wrap up this quarter well, and regroup for the next one to stay in alignment with creating your successful relationship and meaningful life, your best life yet this year!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Regrouping!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Set time aside this weekend to review your Q1, and to review the status of your relationship with your partner.
Discuss how to wrap Q1 with a Bam, and what you want to institute for Relationship Enrichment in Q2.
Keep it light, forgiving, and as merely an exercise in designing and creating the life you want…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It makes sense that New Year’s Resolutions have such a bad rep. They don’t get to really take hold as they are initiated during this challenging time and not integrated as new habits in good routines. I’m sure that if you started the New Year with Intention and a plan for creating the new habits that you are faring much better than your counterparts!
If you didn’t select ways to improve yourself, your relationship and your life, it’s not too late to select the new habits you want to develop. And again, to make sure you succeed at them, Design a daily routine from which they are to take place. The key to personal growth and development, and therefore Success, is to live our life intentionally. To Design it as we want it to be. To fully own it. To be its Masterful Creator.
There is so much rah, rah, rah going around about the New Year and new beginnings, and experts are already predicting the doom of the new initiatives (because statistics show the new attempts fail almost immediately!). I don’t want you to be a statistic, I want you to rock this year!
To rock this year, the sooner you get a handle on making the changes you want, the earlier you’ll start getting traction and results, and thus enjoy more compounded benefits. This means being gentle and nurturing yourself so you can make the changes you desire…
When we beat on ourselves, put pressure, take on too much, and freak ourselves out, we get the opposite of what we intended. Instead of feeling motivated, inspired and energized, we end up frazzled, overwhelmed, paralyzed, and blue.
So, let’s be proactive about staying in the game past the kickoff. Let’s commit to not abandoning our wishes for the year, before the year even gets on its way… Remember the 3rd Monday of January is Blue Monday. If you are not feeling so hot you are not alone! But, let’s not give up before we even start.
Let’s not marinate in the funk. Otherwise, the experience goes – blue-slow January, flyby February, sick-of-hibernation March, can’t-wait-for-spring April. And, before you know it, you lost the first quarter of the year. Yuck. This is not a life lived by Design.
The way to bypass all this is to be intentional, committed, resourced and easy about it. Slow and steady wins the race. Those who jumped in with two feet and lots of rah, rahs won’t last… If they didn’t bother to plan, they won’t get far… It’s you and I, who bothered to do the leg work, are working it, and are being gentle, compassionate, and self-caring, who win… It’s not too late, you can still join the ranks if you haven’t yet. It’s never too late to start living intentionally.
You are going about this the right way, if you are embracing the new, integrating with ease, adjusting to the flow, and enjoying as you go.
Make time for processes like this and working on yourself, your relationship and your life. That’s the only way to succeed at these. Success doesn’t just happen…
Stay tuned for processes for nurturing your relationship as we enter the Romance & Love Season…
You can start getting inspired with the Love Launch™.
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Succeeding!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Recommit to gently and lovingly making changes.
Recommit to staying the course.
Recommit to having your best year yet!
Commit to enjoying the Journey!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I LOVE this time of year to set myself up for an amazing new one. Everything I walked you through in the past few blogs, all captured here: How to Waltz into the New Year, I do myself. I’m so excited for the new habits I’m integrating this year like Morning Pages (concept from The Artist’s Way) and The 5 Second Journal.
And, I’m super excited Pete (Hubby) and I refreshed our collaborating approach and platform to capture this year’s Strategy. We are set for our best year yet! Yay!
This brings me to today’s topic. As you know, I’m forever Playing with all these concepts… Today’s message integrates insights on motivation, Inspiration, Discipline, Potential, success, habits, routines, flow, and the like…
I’m known to be highly energetic, motivated, and productive. This doesn’t just happen… I invest in myself to make this happen… In a nutshell, it all boils down to Mindset and Habits… I’m focusing on habits today to drill in on the work we’ve been doing to get you set up for your best year yet.
The new year brings new beginnings. This is when we can set the reset button and start anew. Not necessarily from scratch if you have a good thing going already. For example, I have an amazing self-care routine. I didn’t scrap this and started again with the new year. I just make it even better by tweaking some timing and adding my new habits into it.
Achieving sustained connection, wellbeing and success depends on your habits… What you do every day creates the life you live. If you haphazardly go through your days, it’s unlikely you’ll enjoy the Journey and reach the destinations along the way… Have you noticed that the most successful, happy and healthy people don’t rush around? Have you noticed that they have a plan?
Have you noticed they don’t have clutter? Have you noticed that they work hard? Have you noticed that they are intentional and invest in themselves? Have you noticed that they treat themselves? What else have you noticed about them? This is not luck. This is not by accident. There is intention, focus, and devotion involved…
I recently watched a YouTube video by Michael Beckwith. Super inspirational on how to Activate Your Potential. He talks about having Discipline, being focused, being intentional, about going for it. Totally reinforces the idea of building habits.
But creating new habits is not easy. That’s why new year’s resolutions don’t work. Building new habits is about repeated targeted behaviors. People lacking discipline, focus and the like struggle with this even more… The easiest way to build new habits is to build them into a Routine… This is the secret.New behaviors trying to become Habits that are not grounded anywhere just float away.
This is why I added The Morning Pages and The 5 Second Journal to my morning self-care routine. If I had just said I want to do the Pages and the Journal and left it at that, how would they happen? When would I do them? You see, building them into the routine is the key…
The Routine drives the behaviors, it’s how they become Habits. You don’t have to be super disciplined then. Once you set your routine, it carries you… This is motivating and energizing… This makes you more productive… This allows for inspiration to flow… All you have to do is Design your routine(s).
So, start where you are at. Create a simple starter routine, on the life area you are targeting, or expand or improve what you already have. Having a focus, a Grounding Theme™, is key as well. We can’t work on everything at once… Choose what life area you are focusing on such as relationship (connection), health (wellness) or finances (success)…
This is how you stay focused. This is how you become the Artist of your life. This is how you live your life by Design…
Make it your intention to live your life by Design and to rock at it! Here is to your best year yet!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Designing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Review the new Habits you want to develop this year. Is there a theme to them? Do they all belong to the same life area? You shouldn’t have too many, 2 to 3 at most, it’s challenging enough to tackle new endeavors.
It’s best if the new habits you want to develop are all in the same life area, so they support each other. Do any necessary adjusting to your selection. Then, design a Routine around them if you don’t already have one. For example, let’s say your life area is wellness:
Get up earlier (note specific time)
Go to the gym 5x / week before work (put on gym clothes that you put out the night before)
Drink more water (bring a large water bottle to the gym and another to work)
Have your Routine drive your discipline, motivation and habit building!
Enjoy!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Wow, the year is almost over! Here is a recap of the Season’s focus. In case you missed it, you might want to take a look at these to see what still applies and what you need to embrace to gracefully waltz into the New Year!
This work is for me equivalent of being a kid in a candy store! I love organizing, planning, strategizing, structuring, systematizing and the like. And as you already know I’m obviously all about healing, growing, developing, evolving, honoring and taking care of ourselves so we can do in the life what we are meant to do. So that we can be amazing for our loved ones. So that we can make a difference in all we do.
This leads me to sharing the BONUS ASPECT of HYP! Aspect Bonus has 5 Parts:
Part 1 – Completing any year end rituals and wrap-up tasks
Part 2 – Designing new habits and daily flowing routine informed by your Strategic Plan
Part 4 – Selecting your New Year Intention, your Focus Term™
Part 5 – Having a New Year Tradition™ to kick-off the New Year!
These are the things that when considered and intentionally and systematically addressed help us create our extraordinary life. We did not choose to be in this world to have an ordinary, boring or disastrous life. We chose to have a full, amazing, wondrous and Brilliant Human Experience™. Are you owning that yet?
Let me bring your attention to Part 4: Selecting your Focus Term™
I’ve written before, and you probably subscribe to this philosophy as well, that I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. It is a known fact that most Resolutions are not adhered to past the first month of the year at best. Also, by the third week of the year, the post holidays and winter blues set in…
This is a terrible way to progress into the year! It is our responsibility to ourselves to be as preventative around this as possible. This is why I don’t subscribe / prescribe New Year’s Resolutions. Why make a dismal situation worse?
Instead I offer to go in with a gentle, loving, nurturing and compassionate approach. All the completed work outlined above will guarantee a better experience and serve as a preventative measure… Additionally, I love utilizing the concept of using a Focus Term™ to serve as our North Star for the year.
This is not a challenge to our will power as a New Year’s Resolution might feel like. This is a holding, loving hand to support us in our Journey throughout the year.
This is a word that captures the theme of the goals selected during your strategizing, or a desired approach to your life… This is the essence of the Focus for the upcoming year, and which becomes a mantra, focus lens, or filter as you flow through the Journey.
As you are preparing to ring in the New Year, think about your *Focus Term. Here are some to consider:
*These can be used as guiding or playing Themes as well
We did it! You are now equipped with everything you need to rock the New Year! I realize that all this can be a lot of work and feel overwhelming. Just take small bites and keep at it. The investment is well worth it!!!
Stay tuned for how to swing into the new year and setting it up for success in the next issue when I share more about inspiration, motivation, and discipline.
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Waltzing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Recharge to start the New Year right!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Boy, oh boy! Are people struggling right about now. If this is you, please know you are not alone and do not worry we’ll get you out of the funk soon enough! There are plenty of reasons for potentially not feeling well:
Crunch time at work or business, spotlight on life success, overwhelm with the holidays, financial concerns, family-of-origin stressful dynamics and painful memories, relationship dissatisfaction or spotlight on relationship status, over commitment in all areas of life, poor health, fatigue or burn out, and so many others.Unfortunately, this is pretty universal. But you don’t have to let it kick your butt and stay in the funky place!
Let’s shift gears from any funk before we keep tackling our HYP (Holiday and Year-End Process™). If you are not feeling so hot, you have to build in a breather to reset yourself. There is no sense in pushing through, you’ll just make things worse! A breather can be as simple as that – take a few deep breaths when you are feeling down or agitated. This is for immediately managing a moment…
But obviously that’s not enough to turn things around. I’m suggesting also a bit of a larger breather, but that is still not too large. I’m mindful that the experience of lack of time can be part of the issue… So, build your Respite Breather™ into your routine for within the next 24 to 48 hours for anything from 15 min to 90 min… Any version of this investment will do wonders for your state of mind.
During your respite, check with yourself for what’s happening – identify what is triggering your funky feelings. Capture all the different things that are bringing you down or stressing you out, or both, on a piece of paper. Take a deep breath when you finish and give yourself a hug/acknowledgement for holding all this.
Next, pick the one item that is really bothering you and identify a way to address it immediately. Even if it’s not fully resolved, just do something about it! This is relieving and empowering in and of itself…
Remember that you don’t have to struggle or go it alone –
please get assistance or support ASAP
if you can’t seem to get a handle on this.
Switching gears to the funner things, it’s time to tackle Aspect 4 of your HYP. Yay, we are almost there! This is the kind of play I really enjoy. This is when we do Visioning and create our Life Strategic Plan™ to create the life we desire. This is when we Dream and Design. This is when we light our fire for the upcoming year… This is how we inspire and motivate ourselves…
Life Strategic Plan™
Envision your desired relationship and life with your partner in as much detail and feeling as possible. Capture all areas – your ideal day, health/wellness, environments, finances, intimacy, fun, giving back, etc. Write it all out and feel how you’d feel when that picture is real.
ONE – List all the awesome feelings you felt – free, inspired, joyful, abundant, loved, etc. Now, find those feelings in your current life… They are already there… Identify when you feel like that… This is an exercise in living an unconditional life. You don’t need specific conditions to feel great…
TWO – But, because we are striving and creating human beings, living the status quo is not enough and is therefore not an option. We are Alive in our striving and creating…
>> Go back to your vision and pick the top 3 areas that would create the greatest shift in your life if they were different – these are the areas you want to enhance next year (i.e., finances, relationship/s, wellness). Design a milestone to work towards in creating your desire for each of them.
For example, for Relationship:
I have a strong partnership with my husband in which we cocreate our amazing life and enjoy consistent connection.
>> Then create 2 supportive measurable and repeatable behaviors for the three Life Areas you chose to develop, to create new habits and way of being, and integrate them into your life style.
For the example above, for Relationship:
1) We speak every weekday at lunchtime to touch base and connect.
2) We check-in on Sunday evenings about expectations, plans, to-knows and to-dos for the upcoming week.
This is simple yet extremely powerful. You don’t need to turn your life upside down or a new partner to create the relationship and life you desire… Block off some time to do your Visioning and Strategizing within the next two weeks. Keep this commitment with yourself…
Stay tuned for the next issue building on this to help you start the next year right!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Strategizing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make what’s left of the year count, don’t just survive. Thrive!
Invite your partner to do the Visioning and Strategizing also:
Share your Designs with each other
Acknowledge the beauty in each other’s Plan
Ask for specific actionable support from your partner to assist you implement a particular challenging new behavior
Sprinkle your days till the end of the year with self-care, inspiring, nurturing, recharging or soothing rituals. Here are some suggestions:
Step-up your Mindfulness Practice
Keep a Gratitude Journal
List Appreciations
Read inspiring literature or messages
Build-in Silent Time™ (your own personal “silent retreat”)
Schedule pampering
Do Devoted Actions™ (similar to Karma Yoga)
Prepare or purchase on-the-go nutritious snacks
Listen to upbeat music
Play hooky!
Give your Self, and each other, lots of love and care the rest of this Holiday Season!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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