It was incredibly nice disconnecting from the usual during our Spring Break… Even when life is grand it’s nice to change things up. I found myself not interested on being on my phone or any other electronic device. It was a struggle checking-in on things and people. It felt like being pulled from a magical dream.
This experience was perfect as it resonated with today’s topic of Detoxing… You know I have to cover it as soon as Spring comes about. LOL Detoxing is a magnificent way of shedding off anything unwanted that has accumulated over time.
So, with one week left to Q1, and the focus being on getting to its finish line and getting ready to rock Q2, it’s a perfect time to assess what we need to Clean out to lighten our burden… and Clear our path…
First off, I’d like to point out that 3/20 was Happy Day. Did you know that? It’s interesting how these kinds of days get identified. It does make sense though. People’s moods are already lifting. Hope this applies to you!
Let’s keep shedding, not just the blah mood, but everything that is a potential block to your Health, Wellness and Success… And, your Successful Relationship…
Think of the areas of your life you are currently focused on upgrading (most likely your goals are targeting these). Or, that you would like to focus on if you are just starting to focus on making changes… Then think of the things that might be getting in the way of making the upgrade or change…
Most likely the things that are getting in the way have to do with the cumulative impact of bad habits and toxicity of some kind… Consider which below might be getting in your way and consider their antidote:
HEALTH:
Sleep deprivation – Sleep 6 to 8 hrs per night of good sleep.
Dehydration – Drink 32 to 64 onz of structured water per day.
Malnutrition – Eat your allotted caloric intake per day of non-inflammatory foods rich in omegas and protein observing a minimum of an overnight 12 hr window before your first meal of the day (basic intermittent fasting). And, minding your intake of gluten, sugar and derivatives, eggs, dairy, meats, soy, peanuts, processed foods and condiments, and certain fruits and vegetables that don’t agree with your body (intuitive eating).
Include targeted supplements into your intake; and cleansing techniques such as lemon water and apple cider vinegar first thing in the morning…
Lack of exercise – Move and stretch every day, and adhere to an exercise routine that you enjoy and includes HIIT (high interval intensive training).
Indulging – Eliminate/reduce (numbing…) tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, elicit and over-the-counter drugs, even prescribed drugs…; unprotected sun exposure, and damaging agents in products and other exposure.
WELLNESS:
Aging – Improve your health with the above, have a great skincare routine that is collagen restorative, keep great oral hygiene (gum disease implicated in Alzheimer’s, along with certain bacteria and viruses including Herpes!) and exercise your brain to stimulate continued neuron regeneration and protect plasticity.
Chaos – Immediately address clutter, disorganization, overwhelm, over commitment, extra responsibilities, poor boundaries, drama, caretaking.
Stuckness – Immediately address repeating patterns, defense mechanisms, scripts, behavioral numbing and time-sucks (over working and spending, dating, TV / Netflix binge-watching, online browsing, social media scrolling, gaming). Pursue Personal Development.
Unhappiness – Upgrade your self-care routine making sure it includes a mindfulness and gratitude practice. Practice compassion and self-love… Own your uniqueness, beauty and gifts. Embrace your voice and your power. Nurture Connection to your higher-power, self, partner, family, community and world at large…
Dissatisfaction/Complacency – Improve the company you keep and your activities, commitments, projects, environments, lifestyle and pursue your dreams (see below)…
SUCCESS:
Limiting Mindset – This is the death of you. If a heart attack doesn’t put an end to your awesome life, this will! Address tendencies to blame, pass on responsibility, thinking “can’t be done”, overcomplicating things, analysis paralysis, not stretching or wanting to learn, taking the easy way out, not going the extra mile, letting low self-esteem and fear get the best of you…
Debt – Stop accruing debt immediately, only exceptions are for investing in yourself as noted in this writing and within reason… Pay off your debt as fast as you can!
Aimlessness – Know your passion, gift, calling, Purpose. Have a Vision, a Strategy, and Goals. Even have a 100-year Plan…! Shoot to leave a Legacy, to make an Impact… Live a life by Design. Live a life well lived.
Non-Committal – Make sure your word means something, have an honor code, be trustworthy, reliable, accountable. Commit to the task, project or any undertaking. Go all in! Show up with gusto!
Inflexible – Stay open to feedback. Be ready to course correct. Always be tweaking and improving – this doesn’t mean embracing perfectionism, this means embracing excellence.
Were there areas that you felt like, “Hey, I got this!”? Were there areas that kicked your butt? Most people do great in some areas of their lives, and not so great in others… The key is to find the areas that are holding you back from your Best Life… These are the areas that need Detoxing…
Select an area you want to address and choose a related specific Habit to change – get really specific… Set up a plan for eliminating (drastically reducing) the bad habit by replacing it with a given antidote. For example: Health / Malnutrition, eating inflammation causing carbs, doing food swaps containing non-gluten grains…
Now, let’s apply this concept to your relationship… What needs detoxing in your relationship?
Context/Mindset (seeing your partner as your enemy or at fault) – bad attitude, blaming, selfishness, inconsideration, rudeness, poor boundaries, assumptions, scripts
Communication/Alignment (being in frequent fighting and disagreements) – interrupting, yelling, cursing, picking, criticizing
Connection/Intimacy (feeling alone, unloved and disconnected) – no affection or physical interaction, distance, absence, unavailability, exits
Collaboration/Partnership (feeling overwhelmed, unsupported and stuck) – taking on too much or too little, not enough No, not enough Yes, disorganization, unfinished projects, no systems, no check-ins, no established roles, expectations and goals
Find the Habit that is sabotaging your relationship from its next level of awesomeness. Eradicate that sucker! Replace it with a Connection Habit™ or upgraded relationship skill (refer to the related issues listed below).
Note that this approach is taking Detoxing to the next level. We are striving to get rid of toxicity, and what is holding you back, forever. We are not settling for a quick cleanse! Let’s do it!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Mid-March – how about them apples? Times flies when you are having fun, or are too busy! LOL Hopefully it’s the former for you. How is it going? Having a good week? Having a good month (March can be rough on people)? Having a good quarter…?
As we are quickly approaching the end of Q1, this is a perfect time to check if we are on track for the year. This might be tough to face if you were slow getting started with your new year’s strategy.
It’s common that people don’t invest time at the end of the year in planning for the new year. This leaves them planning and strategizing at the beginning of the year. Which in turn prolongs the time that it takes them to actually start working on their strategy and the new goals.
This might still be the case for you if you don’t necessarily create a “strategy” for the year, but set some resolutions, intentions, focus, goals, or such. You might have gotten to the game a bit late.
Also, it might not have been easy to get moving, regardless of how much ahead planning you did, if you experienced some winter blues. You might have had the best of intentions, and then BAM! The winter blues hit and you just couldn’t get a strong enough grip implementing your strategy or getting traction fast enough.
There is yet, something else that might be getting in the way of rocking Q1 regardless of how much planning or not you’ve done. That is having the winter blahs (cabin fever) which has or is slowing you down…
With all of the above you are not alone! These are all very common, and hence the focus of this post.
Then again, maybe the above are not the case for you, and you have been plowing along nicely. Kudos and congrats, you are in the minority and deserve acknowledgement!
Regardless of the boat you are in, this check-in is a mechanism to regroup, refocus, and realign as necessary. It’s not meant to kick your butt or make you feel bad for not being further along than where you’d wish you’d be. The check-in is meant to course correct as necessary. And, this applies to whether you’ve been moving along or not. You want to make sure you are always on your best-known path…
Personally, I like to use the quarterly check-ins to trim off the fat of my usually overly ambitious agenda. I streamline it to what I really want to get done for the quarter… This is a purge to let go of projects, tasks, and routines that might be too much to accomplish or serve as distractions for making the desired dent in the last stretch of the quarter. It’s used to hone-in on accomplishing and experiencing what would make a difference.
Look at your goals and daily approach, and aggressively pare down on the over-ambitiousness, noise, and irrelevant to your progress and enjoyment focusing only on what will result in added Value and Joy:
Leave only that elegant project to complete by the end of the quarter. Cut out miscellaneous little projects or to-dos…
Leave also very targeted self-care and connection habits. Cut out the fluff that feel like time-wasters and that don’t make that much of a difference to you in the moment and long-term…
Leave commitments that enrich your life. Cut out the ones that stress you out or make you feel bad about yourself…
Leave functional tasks that make your life run smooth. Automate, delegate, outsource, or pause any other tasks that you hate to do, are time-sucks, or that can wait…
The idea is to focus on ROI (return on investment) as much as possible so you cross the finish line with the gold.
This is also a great time to check-in with your Partner about the status of things:
How are you seeing and experiencing each other? If your partner is getting on your nerves, remember the 80/20 rule. Where 80% of what is bothering you is actually about you, and 20% about how your partner is being and what they are doing… It’s time to check your relationship mindset!
How is your communication and are you on the same page? If your communication is not flowing well, if you are having frequent arguments, if arguments are explosive, and if it takes a while to regroup from negative interactions then your communication skills might need a little upgrading… It’s time to reinstate the tools you already have or get new ones!
How is your relationship dynamic? Have any dissatisfying/negative recurring patterns? If you find that you are still (or again) power-struggling, your needs are probably not being met appropriately. It’s time to revisit how your needs are being met and how to meet them better!
How is your connection and intimacy? If you feel like two ships passing in the night. If you find that you are always together, but things are friends/roommate-like and boring. If you are having little physical intimacy and affection. You might be focusing too much on your professional and/or domestic life, and not enough on being partners/lovers… It’s time to refocus on the people in the relationship vs the roles and tasks!
How is your partnership? Are you a well-oiled machine? If you find you are not current with each, not supporting each other, not sharing responsibilities somewhat evenly, and/or not working towards a common goal, you don’t have a good structure and systems in place to help you collaborate and properly run the joint business of life. It’s time to get your house in order!
Take that feedback to help you regroup and reprioritize for Q2… Make sure you set relationship goals. Make sure that you explore behavior changes and create new relationship enrichment and connection habits. Make sure you sprinkle relationship nurturing rituals into the mix. This is your H.W., to set up your relationship to be more amazing in Q2!
For now, make a commitment to wrap up this quarter well, and regroup for the next one to stay in alignment with creating your successful relationship and meaningful life, your best life yet this year!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Regrouping!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Set time aside this weekend to review your Q1, and to review the status of your relationship with your partner.
Discuss how to wrap Q1 with a Bam, and what you want to institute for Relationship Enrichment in Q2.
Keep it light, forgiving, and as merely an exercise in designing and creating the life you want…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I like to get into Spring Mode early to extend the warmer seasons as much as possible… It’s harder to do when the weather wants to continue to show its winter colors though. LOL But it’s nothing that a Spring Bucket List can’t fix! Are you with me? Let’s leave winter behind regardless of what is happening out there.
I did some research on Spring Bucket Lists to prepare for this issue and found most of them a little basic and dull. I think you and I can create our own much better list. Are you up for it?
I created a Bucket List Design Process™ for this purpose. Note, the mere exercise of doing this is super empowering, recharging, motivating, inspiring, exciting and just plain FUN. Give it a go!!
Use the structure listed below to come up with things you want to do, accomplish, or experience in each area. You can play with all 10 areas, coming up with 5 things for each, or you can choose to focus on specific areas as you like, with the idea of ending up with your Spring Bucket List: 50 Ways of Living Life to the Fullest this Spring
Here is the list structure with areas to cover to help you create an amazing list, with a couple of examples for each:
1.Personal Physical – health, fitness, grooming and pampering, appearance and look, personal brand, treatments, healthy habits
Expand your skin care routine
Do a detox
2.Wellness – self-care routines, wellness and success habits, personal development practices or focus, treatments, supportive resources, tools and techniques
Start a Partner Appreciations Journal™…
Join or start a Personal DevelopmentMaster Mind Group™
3.Relational and Social – activities, outings, entertaining, experiences, adventures, service, joint project, hobby, or interest, connection habits, relationship enrichment behaviors, celebrating
Subscribe to Blue Apron to cook original nutritious recipes together
Commit to Saturdays Date Night™
4.Home and Other Indoor Spaces – decluttering and organization, making functional, refreshing, beautifying
Marie Kondo Your Home… (keep only things that Spark Joy!)
Commit to Fresh Flowers Fridays™
5.Outdoor Spaces – yard, functional structures, activities structures, variety of gardens, fun nooks, special touches, experiences
Plant a fruit tree
Create a Yard Labyrinth
6.Indulgences – baking and other treats, aromas and scents, experiences, getting that little something that’s been on your wish list
Bake lemon treats
Start / expand your aromatherapy oils collection
7.With the Kids – crafts, their rooms, activities, outings, experiences, service, new skill, new hobby, new interest, new life skill
Visit an arboretum
Build a bird house
8.Creative – writing of any kind including music, painting, drawing, designing, decorating, dancing, creating, inventing, photographing, crafting, singing
Write a collection of poems
Photograph the blooming season
9.Philanthropical – add charities to your repertoire, help plan an upcoming Gala, help in local fundraisers, contribute to a charitable endeavor, donate your time to your population of choice, start a cause
Sign up to read to children at afterschool programs or hospitals
Volunteer to be a Mentor at your local High School
10.Nature/Seasonal/Different – visiting beautiful locations, being with animals, doing outdoor activities, playing outdoors, being outdoors, outdoor sports, exploring and witnessing nature
Just writing this was energizing and fun! Juices flowing, so inspired… Yay! It’s your turn, brainstorm ideas to recharge, motivate, move forward, have fun, and enjoy the season. Inspire yourself and Spring Forward!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Springing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Create your Spring Bucket List. Select a batch of items from your list you want to enjoy first. Start planning out how to make them happen.
Keep doing the same for the rest. The goal is not to stress out to have them all done, but to enjoy the process and doing as many as you like.
This is an exercise for stimulation, inspiration and enjoyment!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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