5 Spooky Strategies to Spice Things Up in Your Relationship

5 Spooky Strategies to Spice Things Up in Your Relationship

Whether we celebrate Halloween or not, the holiday can still bring us fun and excitement… We don’t have to necessarily be a part of it to pick up inspiration… We can just soak up the vibes for an infusion of aliveness. Which at times can be much needed in our relationship…

It is common for partners to experience a rut in their relationship. Where they feel stuck, stagnant, bored, bland, distant, or disconnected. Partners can tap into the excitement of Halloween to liven up their relationship.

But I can already feel partners’ resistance about how lame the holiday is, and how it’s only for kids or immature people. Or how it goes against their religion. Or how tired and time restricted they are to engage in such frivolous activities. Or other some such…

Well, what I want to offer has actually very little to do with Halloween itself… But more with riding the wave of its exciting energy…

 

When We Have the Best of Intentions but Fall Flat

It doesn’t take that much to create change in our relationship. I’m sure you are aware that how you interact with your partner informs how they’ll interact back… How you choose to respond to them invites how they respond back. How much you choose to invest in your relationship, inspires them to invest back. And I’m talking about the right kind of investment mind you…

I often here things like: I’ve tried it all. I do it all. I do so much, I can’t do any more. Or, I’m the one that does the things.

But usually, the tried things overcompensate, undermine, castrate or snuff, sabotage, are codependent or misaligned in some way… We get in our own way with old scrips or narratives, projections, and unrealistic or unexpressed expectations.

The key is to focus on what we are doing and not what our partner is doing. Bringing understanding, compassion, and genuine engagement from the heart. No strings attached…

Take a look at how you show up to your relationship and honestly identify if you are showing up with your Best Self as much as possible. If you are taking the High Road as much as possible. If you are being mindful of not setting your partner up to fail you as much as possible… No Ego here please. Be truthful. This is the only way that you can create the change you seek.

This honesty helps us polish how we show up, so we inspire our partner to show up better for us… And voila! That’s how we create change…

Clean up how you perceive yourself showing up in your relationship and how you actually show up… And then properly invest in having amazing interactions with your partner and in creating the relationship you love…

 

5 Spooky Strategies to Spice Up Your Relationship

Halloween’s exciting energy offers an opportunity to tap into different possibilities… Even if we are not partaking in the holiday per se, we can tap into the energetics around us to shake things up… 

 

Playing Pranks

Pranks and being playful is one of the simplest ways to bring levity, laughter, and fun to your relationship. Pulling something off and getting this kind of attention is always exciting. I love it when my husband sneaks up to scare me. After decades together, he still manages to pull this off. LOL Step up your playfulness game for more giddiness and joy.

 

Playing Dress Up

This can mean anything from wearing costumes on Halloween, to getting dressed up to go on a date, to getting all decked out for a special occasion, to wearing sexy or other fun outfits to sexy moments. Life is too short to hold back, bring out the fancy you. Wrap yourself to shine and dazzle your partner with the gift of you.

 

Playing New Roles

There are spoken and unspoken agreements in our relationship about what roles we each play… Who is the fixer. Who is the jokester. Who is the spender. Who is the talker. Who is the chef. Who is the initiator. Who is the instigator. All kinds of roles. Bring forward a way of being, a skill, or talent that’s different from your usual to surprise and delight your partner.

 

Playing with an Identity Upgrade

How we show up, interact, and contribute to our relationship is befitting who we believe we are, our identity… The habit of being ourselves… We can upgrade our identity to anything we want. Upgrade yours to capture who you’d be if you had already created your epic love affair with your partner. If you already were the Best Partner… And start being the Best Partner…

 

Playing with a New Reality

Envision a new reality where you are living an upgraded life, with an upgraded relationship, with an upgraded version of you. What does that reality look like? What’s different about it? How are you different? How are you different in your relationship? What does it feel like? Generate those feelings going forward to live in the new reality

 

Whether you go trick-or-treating or host a Halloween party, or just choose to dole out candy, or simply ignore the holiday, know that you can get your freak on anytime. You can show up with a different version of you at any time.

When you change anything, you can change everything… Take this opportunity to reconnect with your partner. Increase intimacy. Rekindle romance and love. Expand intimacy.

I say let’s show up with all the possibilities. Let’s expand our repertoire. Let’s not be so predictable. Let’s stretch into different versions of ourselves. Let’s really embody our Best Self. And let’s delight our partner with a new partner. Let’s shake things up. Let’s spices things up in our relationship this Halloween.

 

Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

Get our FREE 1-pg downloadable Create Change Through Influence for creating your dream relationship with your partner!

 

Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…

With Much Love & Light!

 

PS: Related Articles
Halloween as an Aphrodisiac…
What to do when you have different sexual appetites… [Video]
Take off the identity mask you chose for your life
The ultimate tool for outsmarting your ego…
The key is You 2.0…
Keeping things fresh as a lifestyle (VIDEO)
Top 10 strategies to ensure lasting love in your relationship [VIDEO]
Take the high-road if you want to create a successful relationship…
A simple way to change your programming…

PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our private and group memberships:
Success Membership

Radiance Membership

Look forward to seeing you inside!

 

   Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™
with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Would You Like to Experience Greater Desire and Passion?

Couples usually end up accepting the lack of desire and passion in their relationship as a fact of life for a longterm relationship. They are not happy or satisfied with this, but their attempts at remedying their lack of (passionate) physical intimacy don’t usually succeed. 

The reason for this is partners’ misconceived ideas about sex, intimacy, and each other, unrealistic expectations, body issues, attachment issues, unmet developmental emotional needs, judgement and criticism, and owning of each other instead of themselves. The resulting mindset has a huge impact on their libido and the couple’s sexual life. 

In addition to addressing the above, couples can greatly increase their passion by actively monitoring and engaging their mind. “Sex is not something we do, is somewhere we go,” says MFT colleague Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

We usually focus on what we are doing. It’s not about technique, the motions, or the positions. It’s about Being deep inside our Selves in our body and our imagination. It’s an expression of our Self. How can we desire or be desired if we don’t exist …, show up?

It is our job to turn our Selves ON. The more confidence we feel, the better the sex. Turn the criticism and other owning buttons off. You don’t have to be perfect and neither does your partner. You don’t have to love everything about each other. You are both OK the way you are. You are both Hot!

Engage that part of you in your mind, and allow it to come out and play with your partner. Watch the video to assist you address the mindset holding you back and for practical steps for immediately creating greater passion:

5 Tips for Greater Passion

1) Lower Expectations
2) Invite, Entice …
3) Set-Up & Prepare
4) Work With Each Other
5) Expand Your Repertoire!

Every month can be a Month of Love. Start enjoying greater passion today. Watch the video to learn about these steps and start applying them now. Complete the MetroRelationship (sm) Assignment below to assist you effortlessly make changes and immediately start experiencing the relationship you want.  

Surprise your Self and your partner with increased desire and passion!

Happy Desiring all Year Around!

 

~ Your MetroRelationship Assignment

Set an alarm to check-in 3x/day: 1) look around you, appreciate something beautiful and add more beauty to your environment, 2) check on how your body feels, what it needs and give this to your Self, and 3) pay attention to your thoughts, accept them, and add a vision of sensuality …  

 

   Copyright (c) 2016 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? 

Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: 
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

 

Pin It on Pinterest