Call me weird, call me naïve, call me a hopeless romantic, but I choose to believe there is more love in the air and in the world than we sometimes see… I know this might be an unpopular opinion given the state of the world, but our reality is what we make of it. While plenty may challenge this belief, our reality is shaped our own state of mind…
Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Beautiful Life? It’s about a father in a concentration camp who shields their young son from the horrors of their situation by turning it into a game. Because of his father’s unwavering perspective, the boy never experiences the trauma of their conditions in the same way. Watch the trailer here
This story reminds us of something profound:
We are super powerful creators…
What we think and what we believe, we manifest…
What we focus on, grows…
Why not put this superpower to work, as we can create whatever we desire.
For me, that means focusing on love- helping couples create their radiant and successful relationship and rekindling their love. Actually, not just rekindle it but create something new, a New Love…
What is this New Love?
For starters, the concept of New Love is about transcending our limitations to be as loving as we can be…
~ Letting go of the pettiness of our lower self
~ Releasing attachments to perceived limitations
~ Having grace for our own and other’s shortcomings
~ Being generous with- kindness, openness, flexibility, understanding, acknowledgement, acceptance, forgiveness, empathy, compassion, attention, affection, nurturing, support, cooperation, collaboration (Correlating to the 5 Elements of the Successful Relationship Strategy™)
~ Investing in win-win outcomes and elevating love as a collective experience
This Higher Perspective elevates us for a Grander Experience…
When we filter life through pettiness, we act petty
When we filter life through generosity, we act generously
When we filter life through love, we act lovingly
We can identify what we want to create and experience, and have it grow by simply focusing on and cultivating its related virtue, quality, feeling or state.
What this mean for our relationship
Here is the beautiful part: Aside from just feeling amazing and having a fabulous personal experience, you’ll notice your partner starts to shift along…
We can’t possibly operate from this Higher Perspective and not have it rub off on others, especially the ones closest to us, like our partner.
But a word of caution: Our approach has to be authentic and heart-felt. Not just lip service, hedging, conditions, or strings attached. Which are lower-self’s rules of engagement… With limiting underlying programming still running the show… This is the larger part of us and wins every time. So if there is a discrepancy between how we are showing up or our desire and what our programming dictates, the programming will impact the outcome no matter how hard we try…
Your partner and others will always respond to the underlying patterns, regardless of the words and actions. That’s why so many people say, “I tried everything, and nothing worked.”
We want to bring consciousness to our patterns allowing for a sustainable Higher Perspective. For there we can fill the space left behind by the dissolved patterns with the good stuff…
Now is the time to embrace this New Love.
Give it shot: Address your patterns and replace prior sabotaging habits with ones that nourish you, nurture your relationship, and delight your partner…
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Whether we celebrate Halloween or not, the holiday can still bring us fun and excitement… We don’t have to necessarily be a part of it to pick up inspiration… We can just soak up the vibes for an infusion of aliveness. Which at times can be much needed in our relationship…
It is common for partners to experience a rut in their relationship. Where they feel stuck, stagnant, bored, bland, distant, or disconnected. Partners can tap into the excitement of Halloween to liven up their relationship.
But I can already feel partners’ resistance about how lame the holiday is, and how it’s only for kids or immature people. Or how it goes against their religion. Or how tired and time restricted they are to engage in such frivolous activities. Or other some such…
Well, what I want to offer has actually very little to do with Halloween itself… But more with riding the wave of its exciting energy…
When We Have the Best of Intentions but Fall Flat
It doesn’t take that much to create change in our relationship. I’m sure you are aware that how you interact with your partner informs how they’ll interact back… How you choose to respond to them invites how they respond back. How much you choose to invest in your relationship, inspires them to invest back. And I’m talking about the right kind of investment mind you…
I often here things like: I’ve tried it all. I do it all. I do so much, I can’t do any more. Or, I’m the one that does the things.
But usually, the tried things overcompensate, undermine, castrate or snuff, sabotage, are codependent or misaligned in some way… We get in our own way with old scrips or narratives, projections, and unrealistic or unexpressed expectations.
The key is to focus on what we are doing and not what our partner is doing. Bringing understanding, compassion, and genuine engagement from the heart. No strings attached…
Take a look at how you show up to your relationship and honestly identify if you are showing up with your Best Self as much as possible. If you are taking the High Road as much as possible. If you are being mindful of not setting your partner up to fail you as much as possible… No Ego here please. Be truthful. This is the only way that you can create the change you seek.
This honesty helps us polish how we show up, so we inspire our partner to show up better for us… And voila! That’s how we create change…
Clean up how you perceive yourself showing up in your relationship and how you actually show up… And then properly invest in having amazing interactions with your partner and in creating the relationship you love…
5 Spooky Strategies to Spice Up Your Relationship
Halloween’s exciting energy offers an opportunity to tap into different possibilities… Even if we are not partaking in the holiday per se, we can tap into the energetics around us to shake things up…
Playing Pranks
Pranks and being playful is one of the simplest ways to bring levity, laughter, and fun to your relationship. Pulling something off and getting this kind of attention is always exciting. I love it when my husband sneaks up to scare me. After decades together, he still manages to pull this off. LOL Step up your playfulness game for more giddiness and joy.
Playing Dress Up
This can mean anything from wearing costumes on Halloween, to getting dressed up to go on a date, to getting all decked out for a special occasion, to wearing sexy or other fun outfits to sexy moments. Life is too short to hold back, bring out the fancy you. Wrap yourself to shine and dazzle your partner with the gift of you.
Playing New Roles
There are spoken and unspoken agreements in our relationship about what roles we each play… Who is the fixer. Who is the jokester. Who is the spender. Who is the talker. Who is the chef. Who is the initiator. Who is the instigator. All kinds of roles. Bring forward a way of being, a skill, or talent that’s different from your usual to surprise and delight your partner.
Playing with an Identity Upgrade
How we show up, interact, and contribute to our relationship is befitting who we believe we are, our identity… The habit of being ourselves… We can upgrade our identity to anything we want. Upgrade yours to capture who you’d be if you had already created your epic love affair with your partner. If you already were the Best Partner… And start being the Best Partner…
Playing with a New Reality
Envision a new reality where you are living an upgraded life, with an upgraded relationship, with an upgraded version of you. What does that reality look like? What’s different about it? How are you different? How are you different in your relationship? What does it feel like? Generate those feelings going forward to live in the new reality…
Whether you go trick-or-treating or host a Halloween party, or just choose to dole out candy, or simply ignore the holiday, know that you can get your freak on anytime. You can show up with a different version of you at any time.
I say let’s show up with all the possibilities. Let’s expand our repertoire. Let’s not be so predictable. Let’s stretch into different versions of ourselves. Let’s really embody our Best Self. And let’s delight our partner with a new partner. Let’s shake things up. Let’s spices things up in our relationship this Halloween.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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