Feeling Connected Archives - MetroRelationship

9 Tactics for weathering your quarantine (lockdown)

Does it feel like we are turning a leaf to you? It feels like that to me, so grateful, though we are still dealing with significant restrictions around here.

I know some are feeling burnt out with all pandemic related topics and impact.

I know some are enjoying aspects of the temporary new normal.

I know some are still getting their bearings as this thing threw them for a loop.

I know some days are better than others.

I know most are wondering what the future brings…

Regardless of where you are, and you have your own spectrum, it’s all good. It’s part of your own Journey… As I’ve been writing, the key is to find the good in this for you and how to make that work even better for you…

Do you miss in-person contact? I’m sure you do.

Do you miss getting about? I’m sure you do.

Do you miss not having access to things that make life richer and easier? I’m sure you do.

Is the amount of screen-time zapping your energy? I’m sure it is.

Just like I’m sure you miss other things as well. Or worse, you’ve been impacted in more significant ways. Yes, this thing has not been easy.

But are you going to let it define your existence? Are you going to let it kick you in the teeth? It doesn’t have to. Things happen, we survive them, we even become better because of them. That’s the Human Experience we signed up for! This is the point…

So, our batch of experiences included 911, the market crash of ‘08, the pandemic of 2020 to name a few, and who knows what else is in store for us. Not claiming to enjoy crisis, but hey they give us life content to work with…

What are you doing with your experience? You don’t have to be the next Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and such people that revolutionize the world (all politics aside). Though you can be if that is what’s burning in you. I’m talking much simpler than that. I’m talking about you becoming your better you through this… You 2.0. Taking this opportunity to up your game…

You don’t have to tackle that massive project you’ve been putting off.

You don’t have to declutter your whole house.

You don’t have to do, whatever you think you have to do, that you don’t want to do… LOL

This is not about doing… I think the more enthusiastic among us might be getting this confused…

This is about Becoming… This is about how we show up differently, how we lead differently, how we create, and co-create, differently…

This is about starting again differently. For those of you dying to go back, please stop that! We do not want to go back!

We want to reStart… We want to go into a New Normal that is better than what we were doing before… This is the whole point… This is the reset button you’ve been waiting for, even if you didn’t know it… So, don’t miss it…

I’d really hate to see people throw away this opportunity to Be in their lives differently… To learn better Self-Mastery…

I’d love to see you be who you’ve longed to Be…

Feeling your feelings and being your full authentic self because of them… To not depend on any numbing…

Meditating or embracing a Quiet/Silence Practice, or some other form of mindfulness, if you believe meditation is not for you.

Owning your calendar and your time. Learning how to flow in your days with ease, joy, love and great results in all you put your mind to.

Expanding your self-care practice. If you still think you don’t have time, I challenge you to clean this script… Make the time! The same goes for the interests, the hobbies, the relaxation, the leisure, and like we call it in our house, the “lazy time”.

Trimming and honing your socializing with whom and on what inspires you. We are now in-touch, and long-distant-in-touch to boot, more than ever before!

Designing and creating a new lifestyle that honors and serves you. That flows from your values, priority, goals and mission… Then bringing this with you into the reopening, into your New Normal…

This is your chance to set up what you want…

This is your chance to influence and impact…

This is your chance to course correct, pivot, or just align more…

I implore you to take on this perspective and don’t merely survive this pandemic and this shutdown…

ASSIGNMENT: Let’s get a grip and start creating what we want and how we want to be!

~~ Select 3 areas you want to focus on decoding and mastering, i.e.:

Wellness

Relationship(s)

Finances

~~ Select 1 tactic for each that you’ll integrate now into your lifestyle, i.e.:

Wellness – meditating, journaling, taking supplements, exercising, eating low carb and intermittent fasting, doing skin care regimen, keeping a gratitude ledger

Relationship(s) – starting the day aligned, staying in touch, connecting for lunch, doing the little things, having intentional dinner, being courteous and mindful, doing Appreciations, having a nighttime ritual, planning fun dates

Finances – knowing your numbers, staying current, having a place for important documents and sharing access, having clear goals, having a debt reduction strategy, having a savings system, having an investment partnership

~~ Schedule an action for each into your calendar now! Then keep taking actions to master that tactic. Move on to another one once the first is completed or integrated.

And, this is how you design and create the life you want and how you want to show up now that you can bring into your New Normal…

It doesn’t have to be complicated. New us 2.0, innovating for the future, and other such lingo can sound overwhelming… But all we are looking to do, is what we were supposedly always trying to do – have our Best Life!

It doesn’t have to be about creating a new world out there. It totally has to be about creating a New World with us…

Here are recent Blog posts for quick reference, for you to grab what fits your current state and situation…

How to manage the fatigue

Having post trauma growth?

Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.

Happy Becoming!

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Having post trauma growth?

9 Tactics for weathering your quarantine (lockdown)

I’m hearing a whole range of experiences from people, depending on who they are, where they are and how much of an impact the lockdown had in their life for starters. Just know that whatever your version is, whether you are bogging out, are having a reaction, or are feeling guilty for being fine, it’s ok and you are not alone…

We are all on our own Journey, and this includes what we make of and take away from this Pandemic…

This is a collective experience that will have a long-lasting effect… We don’t know what that will look like yet, but we are beginning to experience the shifts already…

> Most have been dealing with the immediacy of the lockdown.

> Some are thinking of the longer-term impact.

> A few are thinking, What is the bigger picture here? What is the larger global and humanistic impact? What is the longer-longer-term impact? What are we deconstructing…? How do we reconstruct better…?

I notice that the type of thinking and focus people allow themselves determines how they feel, how they show up, and how they embrace the good of this situation… And, yes, there is good!

I challenge you to embrace a personal development approach, to entertain different perspectives, to engage in progressive conversations… To stretch yourself. To ask poignant questions. To shift your focus. To take charge of your wellbeing and your influence… To own your power, your gifts, your impact. We all have these… You have these also!

How? One way is to think of this situation as traumatic… It has been traumatic in a global scale, albeit to different degrees for different people but non-the-less traumatic… This is a good thing. Because once you get in touch with your trauma, then you have the option to experience your Post Traumatic Growth.

Post Traumatic Growth is learning to deal with the impact, manage what comes of it, and do better because-of it, not in-spite-of it…

Let me repeat that: You will do better ~ Evolve ~ because-of it, not in-spite-of it…

Note, in-spite-of implies victimhood… Whereas Because-of implies an opportunity, a Gift… Everything in our life happens For us, not To us. We are all on a Journey…

You experienced the Pandemic and lockdown just how you needed to experience it for your own Evolution… Don’t shoot the messenger! I’m sorry, if you are offended by that… But, please see what is true about that for you… This is where you’ll find your growth opportunity, your chance for the better… Don’t miss out on the gift!

Are you one of the Most, one of the Some or one of the Few? The choice is yours…

So, what are you making of your Pandemic Experience? How are you Evolving because-of it, how are you evolving during this? How is that impacting how you show up to your life? How is that impacting what you create in your life? How is that impacting how you design and create your life? What will you be doing differently in the New World?

Isn’t this line of thinking so super exciting? This is where you create your juice! I always get compliments on my energy and how energetic I am… I’m always asked how I do it. I have a bunch of tactics up my sleeve, but minding my perspective and approach is a powerful one…

ASSIGNMENT: Embrace the built-in opportunity to up-level your life because-of the current situation…

-Pay attention to what you have been struggling with during the lockdown… (i.e., feeling overwhelmed, stressed and anxious)

-Translate the struggle into your growth opportunity… (i.e., owning self more)

-Choose a tactic to help you address this opportunity… (i.e., improve self-management)

-Create a repeatable action from it and integrate it into your daily routine… (i.e., get grounded and in control with a brain-dump at the end of the day and then planning the next day)

-Monitor your progress – Are you sticking to your daily action? How many out of 7 do you have each week? Keep increasing that number…

Enjoy the Evolution!

When people are faced with other’s position on having a Productive Pandemic, they feel intimidated and coward. This approach and perspective does not have to be intimidating. It’s not about you taking on the world and changing it by tomorrow.

It does have to do with you doing You well. It has to do you still properly showing up to your life. And, it has to do with you seeing any inherit benefits in the situation and milking them for what they have to offer…

Don’t feel intimidated and stick to binging on Netflix. All you have to do is make a commitment to having a growth mindset and growing/evolving one tiny bit at a time. You can do it!!

Here are recent Blog posts for quick reference, for you to grab what fits your current state and situation…

How to manage the fatigue

Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.

Happy Evolving!

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

How to manage the fatigue

9 Tactics for weathering your quarantine (lockdown)

We are slowly starting the reopening and easing up on the lockdown. Different areas have had different levels of lockdown, and people have taken it seriously to different degrees.

Regardless, it’s been a long haul already managing the restrictions and their impact, and looking into what this means going forward as this pandemic won’t be over any time soon… Is the reality of the longevity of this hitting you hard? You are certainly not alone! People are fatigued, but we can combat this!

First, let’s understand what the fatigue is about. It has to do with:

Being in a completely different daily environment/context than our usual (being locked-in with loved ones ongoingly without respite)
Creating and managing a different daily routine and workflow (adjusting to our days being different than the usual with all the new intricacies of restrictions to boot)
Learning how to do our tasks in a completely different way (learning, working and managing life solely online)
Having less support, amenities and services (having to do without childcare, cleaning and other services, personal care services and the like)
Mitigating the current responsibilities to others, financial and otherwise (carrying expenses in the face of less income or revenue, having sick family members to tend to, having larger responsibilities at work, and so on)
Taking care of our health if we get or are sick on top of everything else (feeling unwell or getting really sick where priorities totally need to shift)
Experiencing trauma, loss and grief (getting triggered, losing loved ones, missing out on life milestones and celebrations)
Having limited social and other interactions (having less opportunities for connecting outside our inner circle and having additional contact)
Missing out on activities, events, outings and the like (being limited in our repertoire and opportunities to refresh ourselves and savor life)
Dealing with the unknown, the uncertainty and being ready for what the future might bring (questioning ongoingly what’s up and what’s next, not knowing what to do or how to carry on)

Phew! Well not for nothing! And, you might even have other stuff in your life to add to this list. Feeling fatigued totally makes sense. I’d like to give you a gold star for hanging in there to the extent that you have. Yes, it is hard, and it makes sense you are tired.

But, at the end of the day how you come out of this pandemic is really up to you, regardless of the struggles and challenges. What you choose to focus on is up to you… How you end up feeling is up to you… How you choose to show up is up to you… What you choose to do about anything is up to you… Watch the thoughts that might trip you up and not let you fully take this in and embrace it!

Second, what do you do?

It’s time to take the bull by the horns and take charge of your life. Even though it makes sense to feel fatigued, at the end of the day it doesn’t have to kick your butt! It actually doesn’t have to feel so bad… For starters:

Don’t stack your thoughts against yourself, others, the situation – what you allow yourself to think will perpetuate whatever feelings you are feeling. Don’t think ugh, gloom and doom, disaster and worst-case scenarios. Focus instead on what is a lesson for you, what is your growth place, what opportunity this creates, how can you serve better, and the like…
Think on how you want to Be… How are you Being that way already and how you can be that way more…
Think on what you want to do the rest of the year… What philosophy will you embrace and how will you run your life accordingly?

Approaching life from this angle is more empowering and relieves the stress and fatigue. It actually is inspiring and motivating… I promise.

The key is to want to feel better. Sometimes we just love to wallow in self-pity… We love to whine, complain and entertain conspiracy theories. Listen, regardless of what is going on out there, you are in charge of what is going on in your mind… For that is where the perspective, feelings and decisions are generated, and actually where life is created…

ASSIGNMENT: Decide to feel better, take charge of your mind, take charge of your life…

Make a list of all the thoughts and scripts running through your mind, check them for logical validity and clean them up…
Decide what values you want to live by and how you want to show up. Clean up parts of your routine that get in the way of this.
Choose what is one accomplishment you want to have under your belt during the lockdown, and then one for the rest of the year. Focus on accomplishing the goals, share it with loved ones to infuse it with good mojo. The rest of the to-dos are secondary… Prioritize accordingly.

That’s it. Don’t over think it. Don’t over complicate it. You can create what you want. Set your mind to it and do it.

When you simplify your approach and shift your focus, you feel much better… You’ll be able to replenish, build community and enrich your life easier even under restrictions… You can do it!

Here are recent Blog posts for quick reference, for you to grab what fits your current state and situation…

Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.

Happy Recharging!

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?

Are you on the same page about money?

9 Tactics for weathering your quarantine (lockdown)

As there has been so much talk of doom and gloom about the economy and everything economy related, crashing oil prices, recession in line with the Great Depression, major layoffs and furloughs, businesses closing down and the rest of it, finances are on our minds more than ever.

This is usually a hot topic for couples regardless of recessions or pandemics. We teach our couples a protocol to get on the same page that eliminates stress and conflict around managing their finances.

Hey, if you have conflicts around money, you are not alone. And, this is regardless of your tax bracket. There is usually a more lax-about-money partner in the relationship that is partnered up with a more conscientious-about-money partner.

This should not come as a surprise as partners are usually pretty opposite in most personal characteristics… This is part of the attraction, the glue, and a source of conflict that at the end of the day serves as growth opportunities for the partners…

Their differences create annoyance and conflict for the partners who need to stretch in order to understand each other, engage with what’s in front of them and to figure out how to mitigate their gap. This promotes growth and evolution for the partners…

Money conflicts can take on many forms where the partners don’t agree how the other operates, and is affected by the other’s approach…

These are some financial areas where partners don’t see-eye-to-eye or that tend to become issues for partners:

Level of spending
Obsession with frugality
Amount contributed to the household
Managing finances and related tasks
Carrying debt
Taking risks
Being irresponsible with things like gambling or purchasing luxury items
Subsidizing addictions
Achieving milestones
Planning for the future

Having opposite styles, different knowledge base and management skills, and different mindset and relationship with money creates a pervasive undercurrent in the relationship that when not addressed undermines the partnership.

It behooves the partners to get on the same page about different financial topics:

Address who contributes how much, when and how
Create a management system
Assign specific tasks and responsibilities
Set goals
Establish a budget
Address decision making
Agree on spending
Set up staying current
Address specific issues and needs (gambling, debt reduction, saving, etc.)
Enlist appropriate professionals (to help with prenups, wills, insurances, investing, etc.)

Of course, every couple’s financial situation is different, just as is their story, their background and everything else. The protocol we provide helps partners address financial topics and collaboration despite their situation. We help partner address limiting believes, bad habits and financial relationship skills.

Obviously, we don’t provide financial or legal advice. When we have these conversations, we direct our clients to consult with the appropriate professionals to make sure their numbers and plan make sense for their life. We don’t do numbers, we do feelings, scripts and processes.

Also, when we have these discussions, we encourage the partner that is more-lax-about-finances to empower themselves with more knowledge and support that’s appropriate to their situation. They usually lack information and skills that are holding them back, in addition to the emotional and mental barriers around being responsible for their financial wellbeing… We recommend SavvyLadies for the women in this category.

And, I recently partnered with Down to Earth Finances, to assist women who are stressed about money and are lagging in taking charge of their finances. They are offering a 3-month program for Personal Finance, Legal and Self Care with live webinars every month plus to-do lists, templates, check-ins and community: Woman’s Compass: The Course — very reasonable and launches May 5th!

This is an in-depth and detailed program to help move you from “mole-whacking” to mindfully managing your finances, legal needs and overall wellness including nutrition, exercise and mindfulness. Over three months, you’ll create your plan and build the knowledge and confidence to tackle it intentionally, with direction, understanding and support … While listening to your own personal inner compass!

Finances don’t have to be a source of stress in your relationship. The key is to not to randomly address your finances, but to get on the same page about it with your partner and to have a plan.

Remember, that even though a conversation is about money and finances, relationship skills and you showing up with your best self are still needed for that conversation to go well…

ASSIGNMENT: Assess your current financial situation to identify your messes and your successes, and how you are currently collaborating with your partner:

Celebrate your successes and give yourself a pat on the back!
What are the items you need to address? Increasing revenue/income, reducing spending/debt, getting organized, having a system, setting goals, planning for the future, synchronizing and collaborating with your partner, consulting professionals for assistance
Decide which item to tackle first, add it to your to-do/calendar, and commit to taking care of it!
Invite your partner into a conversation to improve your financial situation

As things are a little nutty in the world right now, it’s important that we get our bearings and take care of our business. Step up your game today!

Here are recent Blog posts for quick reference, for you to grab what fits your current state and situation…