It’s funny how we start a relationship because of attraction and interest in each other, only to have that dwindle or get lost in the everyday grind as we progress to a higher level of commitment and create a shared life together. As we move from romantic partners to life partners, there’s often a struggle because this isn’t an ideal state for couples. They need to be partners in love first.
Couples need to be lovers. But when they focus too much on the business of life, they dampen that part of the relationship. The result? They struggle not only with feeling connected but also with being good life partners.
And what’s interesting is that many couples tolerate the loss of romance but fight hard to make the partnership side work. This is where they hit friction, sometimes so intense and conflictual that the relationship completely breaks down.
It’s challenging to address this when partners are already feeling disconnected and stuck in a negative place. That’s why our Successful Relationship Strategy™ focuses on shifting mindset and resetting how partners approach each other and the relationship first.
Then, we work on communication and alignment, removing bad habits and unhealthy interaction patterns that weaken the bond. This helps partners get on the same page more easily so they can go deeper in creating the relationship and life they want.
Finally, we address emotional patterns that drive the dynamic and focus on rebuilding connection and intimacy.
When couples go about creating their shared life from a strong mindset—aligned, resourced, and connected—it becomes much easier to collaborate.
These elements flow best in this order, but they’re not mutually exclusive. They can be worked on simultaneously and continue to evolve as the couple grows.
That said, even with a strong romantic connection, couples may still struggle with how to be great partners in life…
Great Partners in Life
Being great partners in life means we properly position our partner and our relationship for their due importance in our life… This is a requirement for creating the strongest partnership. We have to embrace a higher perspective for proper life Journey…
Mindset Shift 1: Our Partner with a Capital P.
Our partner is our Partner, THE partner of all partners… They are the one we chose to have our Journey, our grand human experience, and create our extraordinary life with. If that is not a significant role in our life, I don’t know what is…
The problem is that partners lose sight of this mega role and treat their partner worse than they treat strangers sometimes… Isn’t that nuts?
The key is to reset how we look at our partner, their priority in our life, and treat them with the due reverence their role warrants. As well as bring back the couplehood aspect, the romantical aspect, to keep the energy alive… This is the relationship juice, the creative energy that fuels everything.
It is very easy to get too busy and forget to even acknowledge our partner and their importance. And to neglect our relationship…
SHIFT- Create a cadence for couple time and protect it with your life.
Mindset Shift 2: Our Partner is Our Ally
Being true partners means being allies. But too often, couples get stuck in power struggles, unconsciously trying to get their needs met. They lose sight of the fact that they’re on the same side. Instead, they treat each other like enemies, with suspicion, mistrust, control, manipulation, and other nasty tactics.
This only creates a downward spiral of disconnection and dissatisfaction.
These patterns can get so entrenched and pervasive that the partners dig their heals in until things break.
SHIFT- Reframe your partner as your ally and address a stuck issue with this perspective.
Mindset Shift 3: The Relationship is the Mechanism for Transformation and Mastery
Something that gets overlooked is that our relationship is our playground. A space where we get to explore, practice, discover, and master our skills, strengths, and selves.
In our relating there is so much potential for our expansion and for creation…
SHIFT- Identify one personal growth area and explore it with your partner until it’s mastered.
Your Attraction is Your Glue
Our initial attraction happens at an unconscious and subconscious level. So if you have a checklist you are measuring your partner against, you’d do well to just chuck it.
The truth is, we were attracted to each other for a reason. Our programming brought us together as part of a grander design- to create the human experience we desire. Cracking those codes is part of the Game of Life.
The key is in increasing our awareness of what’s playing out and be intentional in how we interact so we can uplevel our cocreation…
Appreciate Complementary Aspects and Uniqueness
Opposites attract for a reason. Our partner has complementary characteristics and strengths to our own, and their own special flavor. At first, we find these differences incredible. But later, we start holding them against each other. How ridiculous is that? Instead of resisting them, we could be capitalizing on their awesomeness.
APPLICATION- Identify one of your partner’s complementary strengths, acknowledge it, and discuss how you can leverage it together.\
Appreciate Play on Sensitivities
Another part of the attraction, is that our partner has the uncanny ability to trigger our old wounds (because of the unconscious match), and vice versa.
But this is gold, it offers the perfect opportunity for healing and growing…
APPLICATION- Select one of your sensitivities, share with your partner what’s underneath it, and discuss what would help soothe it.
Playing the Game of Life
Too often, we put our heads down and grind through life. Before we know it, we’ve spent years with blinders on, not truly creating the life we want.
We get stuck in routines, neglect joy, and sometimes leave a trail of collateral damage- our health, our relationships, our family, our creativity, and our impact.
How do we play the game of life? We play to win…
And to win, we need to know how to play the game and what winning looks like.
We can all have different definitions of winning, the key is for us to know what those are for ourselves and for our partner and to get on the same page about them for an aligned approach, and fulfilling, meaningful, harmonies and joyful journey.
EXPLORE THESE TOGETHER:
~ What kind of love do we want to experience?
~ What kind of relationship do we want to create?
~ What kind of life do we want to build?
~ What kind of experiences, impact, creations do we want to pursue?
If you are not asking these questions, you’re just going through the motions… These help you better align with your partner, for an easier and more joyful Journey…
Intentionally Design and Live Your Life
If we don’t know what we’re creating, we create by default. Our programming has a field day creating a reactive and painful life. Our defenses have a relationship with our partner’s defenses creating a relationship riddled with friction, codependence, and misalignment. We don’t get very far with this approach.
But if we:
~ Reset our relationship mindset
~ Invest in prioritizing ourselves and our relationship
~ Strengthen our connection and meet our needs
~ Tap into our synergy- our relationship juice
~ Align on a life vision
Then, bam! We create the life we deeply desire… When these things are in place, everything flows. Without them life is uphill battle.
The Practical in the Collaboration
The soft side of relationships, the mindset, connection, and synergy, drives success. But let’s be real, the practical side matters too! A strong partnership needs systems and habits that support it.
Here are some key collaboration tactics to keep things running smoothly (check out the podcast time stamps for more in-depth description of these):
Shared Calendar – Keep track of shared responsibilities, appointments, events, and reminders in a calendar you both have access to.
PRO TIP: Bonus points for using collaborative tools or apps to manage the business of life efficiently.
Weekly Sync-Up – Every Sunday, check in about the upcoming week. Get on the same page about schedules, responsibilities, and anything that needs attention.
Division of Labor– Divide and conquer, don’t let one person carry the entire mental load. Use a shared responsibilities list to divide tasks fairly.
*Get our FREE Downloadable to master your division of labor
Staying Current – Keep communication open with regular check-ins:
~ Morning coffee chats
~ End-of-day debriefs
~ Visioning sessions
~ Planning meetings
~ Financial reviews
Outsourcing – If a task doesn’t require your unique skills and you can afford to outsource it, do it! Life is too short to spend time on the mundane.
Transitions – Most arguments happen during transition times- coming home, shifting tasks, starting or ending the day. Be extra mindful and intentional during these moments.
Weekend Planning – Avoid last-minute stress and mismatched expectations by discussing weekend plans before Friday hits.
Morning Routines – Start your morning routine the night before. Reduce morning chaos by prepping in advance. A smoother start sets the tone for the day.
Vacationing – Identify the expectations, the flavor and what would make it successful as you plan it…
Being Proactive – If the same arguments keep coming up, fix the root issue. Identify patterns, address them directly, and put a lasting solution in place.
This can feel like a lot to address at the same time, I know. But you don’t have to overhaul everything overnight.
Just pick one of these strategies that resonated with you and take action on it today. Even the smallest investment can make a big difference. Intentionality is key. As you make these shifts, you’ll notice everything starts changing…
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
Realign for More Love in Your Relationship, Learn How to Date Your Partner Often when couples struggle in their relationship, or when they feel they are in a bit of a slump, it has to do with Relationship Neglect… When life gets hectic with demands and we barely have time to sleep, the further thing from our mind is being cute in our relationship. Because we are so used to a life of grind, this state of affairs is common. Where the relationship and our bond take a major blow. The relationship can sustain challenging times, but ongoing neglect takes its toll. There are specific factors that play a role during these difficult times, that can at times be pervasive in the relationship making matters worse. Shifting these is key to getting out of the slump along with intentionally and effortlessly investing in the relationship.
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW!
Resources
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership– Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast? Contact us about a possible collaboration!
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
It is not uncommon for couples to feel they are in a slump. Specially during the cold winter months when we tend to hibernate, have the winter blues, or just totally feel out of sorts. Relationships can lose their spark. But when this feeling lingers beyond seasonal blues, it can erode intimacy, connection, and the overall bond between partners.
What’s tricky is that many couples don’t even recognize they’re in a slump. They assume this is just what happens in long-term relationships. They settle into routine, accepting an “okay” relationship instead of striving for something deeper, richer, and more fulfilling.
The partners that struggle are the ones dear to my heart, because they feel the possibility for more and they are rebelling against being mediocre. I say, Good on you. Your struggle is just a way of shaking things up. To have both partners’ attention making changes for the radiant and successful relationship and epic love you desire…
Being in a slump or experiencing relationship struggle is an unpleasant, challenging, and disconcerting experience to say the least. The disconnect, loneliness, emptiness, conflict, frustration, resentment, hopelessness, can totally take a toll on the couple as well as the partners themselves… These partners are a loss for how to regain their connection, feel their love, and create alignment and aliveness in their relationship.
I truly commend the couples that have the courage to admit they are struggling and invest in transforming and upleveling their relationship. My hat off to you!
6 Signs of a Relationship Slump
Partners can experience their struggle or averageness in a variety of ways. The more of these ways they experience, the more difficult and painful their situation. But regardless of how severe their experience is, they can turn their relationship around by investing in it…
Here are 6 signs that your love life needs a reboot:
1~ The relationship doesn’t make it to the priority list – It’s interesting how often partners complain of feeling disconnected, but they don’t make any time to spend with each other. Or, they might have some time together, or even a lot, but it lacks depth and meaning. Being in the same room doesn’t constitute as quality couple time… And this goes beyond making time for each other. There is also little courtesy, kindness, tenderness, nurturing, attentiveness, mindfulness…
2~ The connection is dampened, the bond is frayed – Aside from not spending quality time together, the partners might do things that cut at their bond. Crossing boundaries and being neglectful, mean, inconsiderate, absent, controlling, manipulative and so on, are all tactics that make the partners put up defenses and keep their heart locked away.
3~ The romance got lost in translation – Partners allow the busyness of life to pull them away from what is actually the most important asset in their life… Their Partner in their Journey… And this is not merely a partner to create a life together – which couples also get wrong by the way. But a partner in Love… This part of the relationship is at the crux of our human experience… This is how we create the energy and flavor of our life, our shared life… And the romance is what activates the romantic feelings! This is where the essence of the partners get invited to play… Now this doesn’t have to be T.V. style romance. We can have a real life, down to earth approach that is more realistic and powerful.
4~ The attraction fizzled – The attraction doesn’t just fizzle. It fizzles because it is as if it was smothered by a damp cloth of insults, injuries, betrayals, let downs, neglect, rejection… When we are constantly in doing mode, like ships passing in the night, totally exhausted, not resourced, and at the mercy of our and our partner’s poor mood states, we are in the crossfires for survival. Then never mind being radiant and full of life that creates attraction… Add to that both partners usually being in their masculine energy, a formula for a dead sex life.
5~ The lovers are MIA – Then it makes sense that the lovers are MIA. There is no juice, no attraction to speak of, a lack of exhausted energy, no polarized energy between the genders, and a pervasive conscious or unconscious feeling of resentment and contempt. A lack of trust. No emotional safety. How are the partners to really let go to be present as real lovers?
6~ The intimacy is mechanical or superficial, or nonexistent – So then obviously the intimacy suffers. There is very little of it and the little that’s there is not what it could be… Partners are not on the same page about what intimacy they prefer, they might not even be in touch with what they prefer. And additionally, they struggle creating the space for any intimacy. Everything else gets in the way…
Now, couples can have some or all of these, and to varying degrees. No one couple is the same. And they each bring their unique set of circumstances to their story and situation along with their own uniqueness, needs and desires. So, don’t compare yourself with your friends. Each couple is special. Yes, there are similar patterns that are inherent to couples, relationships, and the human condition. But let the comparison stop there.
11 Power Moves to Transform Your Relationship
It doesn’t have to be difficult, complex, or intimidating investing in our relationship so we can turn it around, or to take it to the next level. It can actually be quite simple…
There might be mental health issues, unique patterns, and level of development the partners bring to the table that might require additional attention, nonetheless the basics are the same.
Bring your Best Self to your interactions to the best of your ability.
If this in and of itself is challenging, then professional support might be indicated for you. You know you need assistance if you or your partner have a difficult time doing the things recommended below. Or you try these but feel that a stronger dose of relationship know-how medicine is needed… We are here for you if you need support!
Now, on to the things to bring to your interactions to get out of the slump or to uplevel your relationship
Flirtation
Playfulness
Curiosity
Interest
Attunement
Adoration
Devotion
Affection
Connection
Intimacy
Passion
Check out the podcast episode below for a description of these!
You might be struggling in your relationship, your relationship might in a slump, or you are looking to just take things to the next level. Regardless of your relationship status, the key is to bring commitment to making it work and to creating what you desire, to bring our Best Self to it, and to invest in it to keep it fresh and vibrant.
Embrace the power moves mentioned above, cultivate rich states around them to activate good relationship vibes, and shower your partner and your relationship with that TLC.
~ Play – Experiment with the moves and characteristics to keep things activating and elevating
~ Practice – Cultivate the states around each power move to make them accessible as you go
~ Pledge – Honor your commitment to your partner and the relationship, be all in to crack the codes
Realign for More Love in Your Relationship, Learn How to Date Your Partner Often when couples struggle in their relationship, or when they feel they are in a bit of a slump, it has to do with Relationship Neglect… When life gets hectic with demands and we barely have time to sleep, the further thing from our mind is being cute in our relationship. Because we are so used to a life of grind, this state of affairs is common. Where the relationship and our bond take a major blow. The relationship can sustain challenging times, but ongoing neglect takes its toll. There are specific factors that play a role during these difficult times, that can at times be pervasive in the relationship making matters worse. Shifting these is key to getting out of the slump along with intentionally and effortlessly investing in the relationship.
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW!
Resources
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership– Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast? Contact us about a possible collaboration!
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
It is common for partners to struggle at being partners in their relationship, specially at being partners in Love. They take their love for granted which can fizzle out if it is not frequently stoked… Partners make time for most things in their life, including going out with friends. But they are not great at making time for a self-love practice and for a partner-love practice- for a romantical practice…
When the connection and romance are not nurtured, the partners feel like just coparents and roommates. They struggle feeling the spark and aliveness in their relationship, and in their life. They might not have a joint vision and approach to life that enriches their existence, and never mind a strong sense of Us… They struggle feeling each other, feeling special and cherished, and like they really matter to their partner…
But this doesn’t mean that they should never have gotten together/married, that the relationship has run its course, or that this is what happens to mature love…
This just means that the relationship needs some TLC… It means that the essence of the couple is getting lost through the shuffle of life… It means you are too focused on the mundane, your children and/or other goals instead. It means you are operating through your titles and roles, and not You.
When your relationship struggles, it means YOU are missing from the equation… Are you showing up with your higher self, with compassion, kindness, and generosity? Are you showing up with your funny, cute, flirty, playful and loving self? Probably not…
It’s time to step up your game of investing in your relationship by delighting, wooing, and courting your partner… That’s right. If you don’t have time for the most important person in your life, then we have other issues. LOL
Decide to upgrade your relationship…
Set loving intentions
Make the time
Get in the mood
Show up with the Essence of you
It is not enough to be a We in your relationship, you need to cultivate the Us… This is where you each feel special, wanted, desired, cherished, and like the most important person in the other person’s life.
A strong partnership and a Radiant Us, doesn’t just happen. These need to be nurtured and cultivated:
The experience will help you get unstuck or get over the hump to upgrade anything that is holding you back in your relationship… And, to take your good relationship to the next level!
You CAN create the relationship you desire.
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Often I hear that it feels like all the stars need to line up for partners to be able to get to a physically intimate moment… There are many factors that impact our libido, our desire, and our ability to have a passionate relationship with our partner. Most believe it is impossible to have an epic love affair with our partner.
They believe in mature love and settling down into comfortable love. This is one of the reasons partners cheat- they still seek that passion… And where are they supposed to get it if they don’t think they can get it with their partner? But they can, you see! The secret is in what to do in between sexy times…
Having passion in your relationship is not about having passionate sex with your partner once in a blue moon, if your love making even gets that hot.
Having passion in your relationship is about having an epic love affair with your partner that is more than sex… It’s about being enthralled by your partner, it’s about getting the butterflies in your belly when they are near or when you think about them, it’s about wanting to be near them and touch them, and about wanting to please them and take care of them (not in a caretaking, codependent way, mind you).
And yes, having passion in your relationship is about wanting to be with them, to join with them, to derive pleasure from them and through them, to transcend and become one…
If this feels like a pipe dream because of what you believe about relationships and because of the current state of your relationship, don’t fret- please know it is possible, initially you just have to go on faith…
So how do we go from struggle to epic love affair when it might feel like an impossible trek?
1 ~~ First off, it takes commitment to stick with it through thick and thin, assuming you are within the range of a workable relationship, which most are! This is not a popular concept nowadays when relationships are disposable.
There are some exceptions that are contraindicated for staying in the toxic context. And of course, it is always your prerogative to not want to continue in your relationship, but don’t blame it on it not being workable… It’s OK for the relationship to have run its course for you. We are all in a Journey, and that includes the relationships we play with…
2 ~~ Then, it takes theright kind of investment in your relationship where you stop blaming your partner for everything that’s wrong and making yourself a saint. You are not. You contribute to your dynamics and cocreate whatever nonsense you might have going on. Sorry, don’t shoot the messenger.
I have seen time and again that when partners fully embrace owning their side of it, not from a martyr position but truly owning their side, that they create marvelous relationships. I have seen as well when partners struggle with this how detrimental it is for the relationship.
Don’t wait for your partner to own themselves first, or to respond in kind… It doesn’t matter what your partner is doing (within reason of course!) to fully own and work your side. Stop trying to prove how they are not doing their own work. All this is just keeping you stuck. Focus on your side, full stop.
I’ll even take this a step further and let you in on a little secret. Even if your partner doesn’t do anything, your work in and of itself is powerful enough to shift and transform your relationship… Just saying…
3 ~~ And finally, once your relationship is on more solid footing and becoming a radiant and successful relationship, then you are ready to step it up a notch in creating a more passionate relationship.
This has to do with playing more specifically with the Desire side of the Love-Desire Spectrum™, without foregoing the Love side… And it has to do with embracing Alluring Habits™. Behaviors and activities in your relationship that are sexy, erotic, inviting, enticing, seductive…
When you focus on Desire, more desire is easier to come by and available for play…
A radiant, successful relationship and meaningful life, and epic love affair with our partner, doesn’t just happen! We have to want this and invest in creating it.
Watch the video for what to do in between sexy times… Enjoy!
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Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
We are responsible for absolutely everything in our life… When people struggle, they are quick to find the reasons and explanations for why things are not going as they would like. They usually end up pointing the finger at some external factor for why things are as they are…
What if they were to look at their situation instead as a growth opportunity, as an indicator of needed change, as a place for course correction? We are responsible for all our outcomes and all our experiences, what we do with them and about them… This applies also to our libido, desire, sexuality, and sex life. Personal responsibility includes turning yourself on…
I hope you didn’t do a double take when you read that, but it’s ok if you did. This is such a foreign concept for most people as we are accustomed to looking to our partner, or another person, for satisfying our sexual needs and preferences.
Yes, I get that being sexually intimate requires another person. But the sexual activity that might come from engaging with another person is actually the last gear of the physical intimacy cycle… And, there is the whole thing that happens before the gears even get going…
See, partners usually treat physical intimacy as the act of being sexual with each other, which makes sense. But I’d like us to stretch way beyond this definition to generate passionate energy in our relationship that leads to physical intimacy…
Once partners become committed, their attention turns to focus on other activities, responsibilities and concerns in their relationship and their life that mute and subdue the sexual energy between the partners… These become the culprits to low intimacy and the low desire and lack of intimacy pandemic…
The key here is to make a commitment to creating an Epic Love Affair with our partner. Because then we keep the eye on the price… Becoming committed to each other is the beginning of the relationship. Dating partners look at it as the goal, moving on to other pursuits once the conquest is made.
When we commit to creating the Best Relationship in all its aspects, we can create a map for making it happen that can keep us focused on our desired outcome in our Journey.
Foreplay Before Foreplay™
I hear often enough that intimacy between partners might feel like a duty. It feels like something that needs to be done and so the partners make sure they hit some unspoken quota to keep this going.
Some couples’ quota is a lot more frequent than others, but for the most part when partners operate this way the quota is not that frequent… And when they get down to it, it might feel contrived, mechanical, and just something that needs to be done. Partners lost the drive, the magnetism, the passion…
Low desire and low intimacy do not have to be issues in your relationship as you can be preventative against them, but they can also be reversed if they have already manifested.
The word foreplay has gotten a bad rap as women in heterosexual relationships use it to tell their partner their approach is not acceptable. They request foreplay from their partner as a prerequisite to further intimate engagement. This puts the pressure on their partner to “turn on” and “get the woman ready” for the next phase of the physical intimacy. Why is this the guys’ responsibility?
Note, in other gendered couples the same dynamics might playout regardless of the partners’ gender, gender identity and sexual orientation. The focus here is not on the gender per se or on the physiology, but on everything else that comes along from being who they are and in the relationship they are in with each other.
Feeling our libido and desire happen before we even get to a physical intimate moment with our partner. Therefore, we have to get ready for foreplay!
Getting Ready for Foreplay
The foreplay before foreplay is how we choose to be, show up and do our life and ourselves… This is what creates energy, vitality, radiance and sparkle. This is what makes us attractive regardless of our outward beauty. This is where the chemistry between partners happens. This is what is alluring and inviting about us.
Most people are doing their lives through the grind. They are forever exhausted, run down or not feeling well, too preoccupied, and muted because all they do is the minutiae of life and put out fires. There is no vibrant energy or aliveness here. This is not attractive, inviting or seductive. If we are going through our lives with this blah energy, not for nothing this translates into blahness in the bedroom…
Our focus is then to:
Transcend the grind
Shift more from doing to being
Detach from the noise
Create more spaciousness
Pursue inspiring and engaging outlets
Embrace interests that integrate and expand the self (not the ego!)
Explore your likes and preferences
Seek different kinds of pleasure and joy
This way of doing our life ensures that we don’t squander our energy, mute ourselves, and atrophy our sexuality which would leave us wondering how come we have low libido, little desire and might feel unattractive or unattracted to our partner… When we are Alive these things don’t happen!
We get out of our relationship what we put into it…
It is our responsibility to create the relationship we desire. We have to address our side and work our side, we have to mind and cultivate our own energy. When we start generating new energy, magical things start to happen. When one part of the system changes, the whole system changes- when you change, others will change in response to you for you will be inviting different stuff from them…
The trick is to take full personal responsibility and not wait for the other to do something or change…
Playing full out in our life makes us feel alive, full of energy, sparkly and turned on… This is the foreplay before foreplay…
When we’ve had our own foreplay before we interact with our partner, now we are ready to fully be with our partner. The joint foreplay is to derive more pleasure and truly enjoy being with each other. It is not a necessity to get the gears moving… This different level of engagement makes for more passionate encounters and a more passionate relationship.
Our radiance and sparkle infuse the interactions with our partner seducing them into our Epic Love Affair…
Watch the video on Foreplay Before Foreplay™… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: Decide that you will embrace becoming more sparkly and alive, and that you will take full personal responsibility for turning yourself on… In your Journal:
~ Explore how you currently do these in your life- -Transcend the grind -Shift more from doing to being -Detach from the noise -Create more spaciousness -Pursue inspiring and engaging outlets -Embrace interests that integrate and expand the self (not the ego!) -Explore your likes and preferences -Seek different kinds of pleasure and joy
~ Select one of the above to target with more attention to help you shift your energy…
~ Identify three activities, habits, and/or tactics that you’ll implement around your selected item to start generating more radiance, energy and vibrancy… And, integrate them into your lifestyle- add to your routine and calendar.
Bring your new swag to your relationship! Enjoy!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat – Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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