We are just days away from Valentine’s Day. Are you embracing the Love Month? Is your whole house decorated pink like mine is? Haha, just kidding! You believed that though, didn’t you? Yes, I’m known to be a hopeless romantic and to love the Love Season. Yes, I love the pink and the red. And yes, I love the cliché things about VDay.
I don’t love the commercialization of it, and when I encourage clients, subscribers and followers to embrace VDay I’m not referring to this aspect of it. I’m referring to taking advantage of this opportunity to play with Love. Why not?
How do we play with Love? There are many kinds of love and I usually cover the gambit in my writing during the season to please those that are single and those that think the holiday is stupid. But, I’m taking a risk this year and going full out and asking that you embrace Valentine’s Day as it is intended. Let’s not be politically correct. Why not?
If you go at it from this angle, what does this mean to you? How will you show up on Valentine’s Day? How will you make the day super romantical (yes, love to play with verbiage)? How will you surprise your partner? How will you treat your partner super special? How will you share love?
How will you Be loving? What part of you needs to be more available, accessible, vulnerable, open, curious to have a different, better experience than usual in regard to giving Love…? What about in regard to receiving Love…?
It never ceases to amaze me when clients are literally crying about how they don’t feel love from their partner, but they are ripping them a new one in their asking for love (even as they are crying!)… The person requesting nurturing, empathy, compassion, love is extremely critical about the partner not giving these things… They are not being very loving-lovable…
They are not inspiring tenderness and caring. They are not inspiring empathy or compassion. If they are showing up with the killer version of themselves, it’s not very easy to love or empathize with them… They create a predicament for their partner. How is their partner supposed to show love and tenderness to a fire-breathing dragon?
So, there are two things to remember this Valentine’s: One, be super loving and generous when gifting your partner, in the way your partner likes it… Two, be super nice in your interactions and expectations to inspire reciprocity. Not demand reciprocity. Not doing tit-for-tat. Not gifting with strings attached.
Not manipulating, strong-arming, shaming or guilt-tripping. You show up authentically and genuinely. You give from the heart. You do your side of showing up properly… You are cut off from fire-breathing…
When you give love this way, in your Being Loving, you are also giving love to yourself… And, this is actually the hardest part of this… The fire-breathers have a very hard time being gentle, doing self-care, giving love to themselves, and receiving love. Thus, this is how they create the self-fulfilling prophecy of not getting love from their partner either (and, of course they are usually involved with partners that have a hard time giving love anyway…).
If this is you, treat yourself this Valentine’s! That’s also for you if you happen to be single, treat yourself!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Treating!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Write a Deeper Love Letter™.
The purpose is to deepen your love, connection and intimacy. To let go of hurt. To forgive. To apologize. To validate. To make nice. To synchronize. To recommit. To appreciate. To shower with Love.
The style, tone, length, content can be anything you want. This is for you and for your partner, for the Relationship, for the Partnership. This is for your past, present and future… This is repairing, healing, cleansing, connecting, strengthening. This is a Gift for your bond.
You can make this a Valentine’s Day ritual going forward…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we wrap up January, things start to perk up. We start getting more traction and picking up momentum for the year. If you have been cranking all along, the more power to you! You might want to moderate your pace, so your investment is sustainable. Regardless of what camp you are in, how are you doing with the new Habits you committed to implementing this year?
I know the people most invested in having an amazing life, are invested in personal development as a means to higher levels of success, in all areas of their life. These are the people stretching themselves. Creating new Habits and investigating better ways to do everything, all the time.
Remember growth and change don’t come easy. You might have already quit trying to forge new Habits. You might not even gotten to implementing them yet. You might still be thinking how you want this year to go. In the whole scheme of things, a few weeks into the year doesn’t make that much of a difference.
You can still do this! Commit to your personal development and give this your best shot. Once the Habit is formed, it’s a HABIT. Then it is just part of your life, not requiring much effort to keep it going. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?
We usually have very specific things we focus on when working on improving our life – specific way of eating, training, working, setting up our home, and the like. But not too often do I hear very specific things partners focus on to nurture their relationship. Now is the perfect time, with Valentine’s Day just around the corner to boot, to set the tone, approach, and new Habits for the best year yet in your relationship!
Then, to start building good Habits you might want to check out our Love Challenge™: Start on February 1st, or at any time you want to Jump-Start, Spring-to-Life, or Reset your relationship. Simple, yet powerful, Daily Relationship Nurturing Nuggets. Treat your partner right! Feel free to tweak, tailor, expand, embellish these to your heart’s content.
And finally, think of what would get your relationship over the hump. What area needs a little TLC? What consistent behaviors can you shower upon this area to make it what you desire? Think about what this area would be like ideally. How do you want it to go? Look like? Feel? Create a vivid picture of how you’d like it to be in your mind’s eye.
Imagine, it’s already like that. How does it feel? Feel the feelings you would feel if it was as you envision… Think how you’d need be to make it so. What parts of you need to come out and play to make it so? How else do you need to grow to fit into this version of your relationship??
Now is the time. Set the tone. Pick the Habit. Make it so!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Nurturing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a list of 50 nurturing behaviors you can shower upon your partner.
Make it your business to do them all before VDay!
Make it fun!
Enjoy!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How do we make sure this year our relationship is better than ever before? Speaking from personal experience, self-care is the key… And, as I’ve been writing, self-care comes in many forms – from having a luxurious pampering session at a spa to being gentle with yourself in your Self Talk to easing up on your overly ambitious agenda… There is being motivated, and there is driving yourself into the ground. What’s the point in that?
One of my favorite self-care habits, as you probably very well know by now, is that of meditating. If you don’t meditate yet or if you dabble and haven’t taken it seriously, you are missing out! I’m telling you, this is like the magic pill. Some of the benefits of meditating include:
Being more aware
Being more clear
Being more aligned
Being more intentional
Being more abundant
Being more positive
Being more happy
Being more grounded
Being more flexible
Being more responsive
Being more energetic
Being more resourceful
Being more healthy
Being more youthful
Being more knowing and wise
Being more expansive
Being more Timeless
Meditating creates the experience of time slowing down, and by default feeling like you have more time and have access to more moments… And you have the ability to be present in all your moments. And by being present in every moment you are more efficient and productive.
And by being present in every moment you get to really enjoy and live your moments. And every moment is more meaningful, and your life is more meaningful… Eh? Who doesn’t want this?
Meditating is not only a self-care practice, it’s a relationship-care™ practice. When we have a meditative, mindfulness practice, we develop a Quite Mind. That’s where all the benefits listed above come from. When we have a quite mind, we are able to have a Transcendental experience of the world, we get the bird’s eye view…
We don’t miss the forest for the tree… A transcended view gives us a different perspective and therefore the ability to see new opportunities… A different perspective allows us to stay steady in the face of a challenge, to more easily see others’ experience and to more intentionally respond to what is in front of us. This is relationship mana!
So, how about it? Pick-up or step-up your mindfulness practice as a means to a more successful relationship, and more meaningful life… This is an investment in your own wellness, and in the wellness of your relationship. This is an Act of Self-Love, and an Act of Love and Kindness for your Partner (current or future!). Let’s go, time to quite your mind!
And, we are now in the 3rd weekend of theLove Launch™ (a 4-weekend series of relationship enrichment tactics before Valentine’s Day weekend). Feel free to jump in!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Transcending!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Explore different ways to develop and expand your Mindfulness Practice…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How do you like to spend your snow days? Indoor or outdoor? Do you have any fun rituals or traditions? How can you make the time more special? Actually, how can you make your weekends more special regardless of snow?
If you remember, this coming Monday (3rd Monday in January) has been coined Blue Monday not for nothing. As people settle down post holidays and turn toward the year ahead, loss, overwhelm, lack of motivation, anxiety, and sadness have a tendency to creep in… The cold and darker days don’t help any.
So, I want you to use this weekend wisely… You can take charge of your mood, your experience, your path and set the right tone for the rest of year. Don’t let this season and the rest of the year happen to you. Be proactive in creating what you desire. I know this is hard to do when we don’t feel so hot. So, first item of business is to make sure you feel well!
Use this weekend to reset yourself. Use this weekend to nurture, pamper, and please yourself. Use this weekend to Treat yourself (if you prescribe to the philosophy of being selfless or not selfish, hang on!). Use this weekend to replenish yourself from the inside out. Treating yourself is not just about bubble baths and “retail therapy”…
Research shows that we feel best when we are grateful, graceful, giving, generous… We can’t be in a fear place at the same time… These are mutually exclusive activated areas in our brain. And, did you know that we have mirror neurons that allows us to feel and experience what others do? This is partially responsible for our ability to have compassion, empathy, and connection with others. This allows us to know others…
We can leverage these concepts in our plan to Treat ourselves… The bag of tricks just got much larger. Aside from implementing what you would usually consider as nurturing, pampering and pleasing to you, how about adding another element to this equation. And, that is that of pleasing someone else… For in giving someone else pleasure, we give pleasure to ourselves as well… Voila! Everyone wins!!
Now, this is an antidote for Winter Blues, but this is also a Relationship Enrichment tactic… And, I’m presenting it as we enter the Love Season… (Multipurpose baby!) I want you to be very intentional about nurturing, pampering and pleasing yourself and your partner. This will make not only this weekend much better, but will set you on the proper Self and Relationship Success course for the Season and the rest of the year…
If you haven’t checked out the Love Launch™yet, check it out now as it starts this weekend (4 weekends before Valentine’s Day weekend). Give it a whirl to infuse this new approach and drive your shift.
How will you do this weekend better than usual? How will you Treat yourself and please your partner? Own your mood, your experience and your Journey! Enjoy!!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Pleasing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a Self List of items that are nurturing, pampering and pleasing to you for you to do.
Make a Partner List of items that are nurturing, pampering and pleasing to you for your partner to do for/to you…
Ask your partner to do the same.
Share your lists with each other and use the Self Lists to support each other’s Treats, and the Partner Lists to guide your efforts/investments towards your partner.
Remember that in the end there is pleasure to be had by all regardless of what List is being used…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I hope you are having a magnificent week! A lot of folks are away enjoying the last of the Summer Season while others are already in the throes of preparation for back-2-school. At this end, we are milking the sunshine, warmth and leisure pace while gearing up for the Fall. It is such pleasure to be putting finishing touches on this year’s Summer Personal Projects™.
Of course, some Personal Projects are ongoing. We usually know these as Personal Development. One of mine that falls in this category is that of embracing More Being, Less Doing™… What I lovingly call, “Moving Slow”, and more recently coined the experience as ZenBrain™. I play with this concept as an angle in my quest for ongoing and sustained Well-Being.
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoy exploring self-care practices that promote wellbeing. A great “hobby” indeed! This brings me to sharing about a delightfully wonderful meditation I have the pleasure of having in my Meditation Library: Guided Meditation for Taking Care of Yourself and Cultivating Self-Love, by Sara Raymond of the Mindful Movement. This meditation precisely captures the essence of the Self-care Practice I’ve been writing about.
Self-care is not just about a day at the spa and pampering oneself. Self-care has to do with establishing healthy boundaries, allowing and receiving, pacing ourselves, honoring ourselves, nourishing ourselves, connecting with our Self, enriching our Soul.
A self-care practice involves taking time for ourselves. It involves doing what is good for us. It involves being kind and compassionate toward ourselves. It involves believing and investing in ourselves. It involves expecting to be treated properly, to be treated with respect, kindness and care.
It involves standing up for ourselves. It involves saying No to something if taking it on will overwhelm us. It involves implementing a healthy lifestyle routine. It involves taking good care of all aspects of our personal life.
When we take care of ourselves, when we are nice, kind and compassionate toward ourselves, we are showing ourselves Love. When we experience self-love, then we are capable of being in Loving Relationships. Too often though, we judge ourselves for falling short of some standard. We have limiting believes about who we are and our abilities.
We question our worthiness, or at least walk around feeling unworthy. Sometimes we have over inflated egos as protection against this pain. We might not even be aware of this underlying driver. When we nurture the relationship with ourselves, we are showing ourselves Worthiness.
A Self-Care Practice is the cornerstone for cultivating self-love and worthiness, ingredients necessary for creating a successful relationship(s) and meaningful life… If instead we were to walk around on fumes, depleted, on alert, triggered, with protections, disconnected from our Core, Authentic, Higher Self, how could we possibly have good interactions with others and create the life we want?
I’ve come across a fantastic analogy for this: Imagine observing a person through a window who is vacuuming. They move up and down the rug, leaving streaks as they go. They seem on a mission. They look as if they are really into the task and doing a good job of it. Until you glance over and see the power cord is not plugged in…
This is how most go through life, doing, doing, doing, without being plugged in… They don’t make a dent in their life. They just exert energy without getting any results… Ugh!!
So, enough with the Doing. It’s time to really embrace Being through a robust Self-Care Practice that includes a rich selection of Mindfulness Practices. When we are plugged-in, resourced, we have leverage and are empowered to rock our world!
So, will you join in? What Self-Care Practice activities, routines, experiences, resources, mindset can you implement / embrace more fully? Don’t go at this as if you are on a mission… Be gentle, caring, loving, and easy about it. Enjoy the process, learn and experiment, savor what you choose, milk it…
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Practicing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Take stock of how loved your feel in your life. What is the status of your relationship?
Take stock of how worthy you feel in your life. How deserving do you feel?
Now, take stock of how kind, nice and compassionate you are towards yourself. How do you treat yourself?
Take stock of your limiting beliefs in terms of expectations, shoulds, perfectionism, and such… How much do you ride yourself?
From the above inquiry and insights, pick an area you need to ease up on and a way to give yourself a break and Love…
Allow it, take it in…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2018 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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