I’ve been knee deep in upgrading my personal routines and Wellness, Connection & Success Habits™. I do practice what I preach! LOL I’ve been having so much fun exploring and playing with resources to assist me with this current Theme. One of my targets is becoming even more paperless, now in my personal life as well. As you might know, I’m the queen of sticky notes.
I pretty much run my life on a sticky pad (don’t judge me!). Yes, I have major platforms running my practice, teams, and even personal life – but I still need to capture, see and touch my immediate notes and to-dos on paper. Call me old fashion. This works very well for me. I’m known for my great follow through, organization, and such.
The problem is that after the immediate processing, learning, indulging, and such, somethings then become stacks of papers and folders. As you might know, I have a collection of file cabinets in my office, and the same in my home office!
So, one of my new habits is to get rid of the clutter this creates and make my information more accessible post immediate use. My new system also captures my electronic research clutter – no more capturing notes, screenshots, and links across platforms and open tabs! Yay!
Why am I sharing this? Because our external world is a reflection of our internal world… Because how we do anything is how we do everything… Because our systems dictate our level of success (in all life areas)… How we manage our life creates our life and how we experience it… Our desired Life depends on great habits and systems!
This brings me back to this Love Month we are in. Showing love, care and romance is not just for Valentine’s Day, or February if you are ambitious and take this Love Month concept seriously. Our Relationship is as good as we invest in it. It’s as good as we nurture it. It’s as good as we respect it, consider it, and safe guard it. Life is way too busy. We have way too much going on.
It’s so easy to neglect our relationship and our partner. It’s easy to live a parallel life and just go through the motions with our partner. It’s easy to get stuck in a disconnected relationship dynamic. But we don’t have to settle for this! We CAN create the relationship we want…
This means prioritizing our relationship and our partner over business and other commitments. This means establishing nurturing habits and couple rituals to enrich the relationship. This means learning skills to manage ourselves and showing up resourced to our interactions… This means learning relationship skills.
This means learning and implementing life hacks to make life easier, so you have more time and ease. This means living and intentional life, a life by Design.
Don’t let life happen to you. Don’t let your relationship fall apart. Don’t let your health deteriorate. Don’t allow yourself to age poorly. Don’t let your peace of mind go out the window. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t settle for mediocracy. Don’t let society norms dictate your timetables, lifestyle, roles, dreams and the like. Live your Successful and Meaningful Life!
Start by minding how you are showing up in your relationship.If you nag, demand, control and criticize, you won’t be getting anything good back for your efforts… Curtail the impulse towards this approach, and instead show up with an accepting, understanding, compassionate, curious, interested and inviting approach… Inspire your partner to show up for you… Demanding they do, does just the opposite!
The same goes for Loving TOO Much… This is a version of being controlling…
Mind how You show up. Let your partner Choose how they show up. They might surprise you yet!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Inspiring!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Think Habits. Think Connection Habits™.
How can you consistently, appropriately, and lovingly stay in connection with your partner to enjoy a stronger Connection? (Sometimes we are in connection/contact but not necessarily Connected…).
Create a daily ritual of staying lovingly in touch during the day, no matter how busy you are.
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I’ve been writing about stepping it up and fully embracing showering your partner with lots of love. And, I wholeheartedly stand by my position to embrace the Valentine’s Day cliché. But, I also want to warn you that there is such a thing as Loving TOO Much… Now, this does not negate the concept I’ve been endorsing and encouraging. I do want you to be Super Nice to your partner. We usually do way too little of that…
The concept of Loving TOO Much has to do with Taking Care of another to the point where they don’t take care of themselves, or their responsibilities… This is taking care of them actually at their expense at the end of the day… I’m sure you’ve heard me say, Sometimes being too helpful is not helpful…
When we are too helpful and caring, we get in the way of our loved one’s ability to access their own resources to be able to take care of themselves. In essence we create a Dummy. The more helpful we are, the more stupid they become… Have you noticed this phenomenon?
We want to make sure we love the right way:
Providing support, understanding and acceptance (not of any bad behavior of course!)– Show curtesy, respect, tolerance (non-judgement), patience, trust.
Being super nice, loving and nurturing – Be gentle, caring, forgiving, generous.
Giving love in our partner’s love language and respecting their wishes – Not giving love the way WE like to receive love…
Treating your partner like a Partner – It won’t do to treat your partner like a child, an employee or some kind of subordinate. They have a brain, treat them like they do.
Relating with your partner as the person they are – See beyond the patterns, defenses, history, habits, roles, and such. See the Man or Woman there, that was the initial attraction…
Using flirting, playing, dating, courting, wooing, seducing – You get my drift. When stuck, make believe you are Dating (each other!)…
Pulling out all the stops, make believe your life depends on your being Loving – How would you carry yourself differently toward your partner if you were being watched and rated on a Loving Scale? Where a low rating would give you the death penalty…
Hm. Look at the last suggestion again. Something to think about. Our life does depend on how we do our relationship. Our success, health, wellness and happiness are greatly impacted by the state of our Relationship.
So, while we want to be super nice, loving and nurturing, we don’t want to love too much… Do the above to step up the Loving, complete our checklist below to find out if you are Loving TOO Much…
In the meantime, have an amazing Valentine’s Day weekend! J
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Loving!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Ok, we are in the throes of Valentine’s Day weekend, how will you make it exceptional?
Whether you go all out with a gift, an experience, or a gesture to deepen intimacy and connection, you can’t go wrong.
Make it count, celebrate your love!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We are just days away from Valentine’s Day. Are you embracing the Love Month? Is your whole house decorated pink like mine is? Haha, just kidding! You believed that though, didn’t you? Yes, I’m known to be a hopeless romantic and to love the Love Season. Yes, I love the pink and the red. And yes, I love the cliché things about VDay.
I don’t love the commercialization of it, and when I encourage clients, subscribers and followers to embrace VDay I’m not referring to this aspect of it. I’m referring to taking advantage of this opportunity to play with Love. Why not?
How do we play with Love? There are many kinds of love and I usually cover the gambit in my writing during the season to please those that are single and those that think the holiday is stupid. But, I’m taking a risk this year and going full out and asking that you embrace Valentine’s Day as it is intended. Let’s not be politically correct. Why not?
If you go at it from this angle, what does this mean to you? How will you show up on Valentine’s Day? How will you make the day super romantical (yes, love to play with verbiage)? How will you surprise your partner? How will you treat your partner super special? How will you share love?
How will you Be loving? What part of you needs to be more available, accessible, vulnerable, open, curious to have a different, better experience than usual in regard to giving Love…? What about in regard to receiving Love…?
It never ceases to amaze me when clients are literally crying about how they don’t feel love from their partner, but they are ripping them a new one in their asking for love (even as they are crying!)… The person requesting nurturing, empathy, compassion, love is extremely critical about the partner not giving these things… They are not being very loving-lovable…
They are not inspiring tenderness and caring. They are not inspiring empathy or compassion. If they are showing up with the killer version of themselves, it’s not very easy to love or empathize with them… They create a predicament for their partner. How is their partner supposed to show love and tenderness to a fire-breathing dragon?
So, there are two things to remember this Valentine’s: One, be super loving and generous when gifting your partner, in the way your partner likes it… Two, be super nice in your interactions and expectations to inspire reciprocity. Not demand reciprocity. Not doing tit-for-tat. Not gifting with strings attached.
Not manipulating, strong-arming, shaming or guilt-tripping. You show up authentically and genuinely. You give from the heart. You do your side of showing up properly… You are cut off from fire-breathing…
When you give love this way, in your Being Loving, you are also giving love to yourself… And, this is actually the hardest part of this… The fire-breathers have a very hard time being gentle, doing self-care, giving love to themselves, and receiving love. Thus, this is how they create the self-fulfilling prophecy of not getting love from their partner either (and, of course they are usually involved with partners that have a hard time giving love anyway…).
If this is you, treat yourself this Valentine’s! That’s also for you if you happen to be single, treat yourself!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Treating!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Write a Deeper Love Letter™.
The purpose is to deepen your love, connection and intimacy. To let go of hurt. To forgive. To apologize. To validate. To make nice. To synchronize. To recommit. To appreciate. To shower with Love.
The style, tone, length, content can be anything you want. This is for you and for your partner, for the Relationship, for the Partnership. This is for your past, present and future… This is repairing, healing, cleansing, connecting, strengthening. This is a Gift for your bond.
You can make this a Valentine’s Day ritual going forward…
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we wrap up January, things start to perk up. We start getting more traction and picking up momentum for the year. If you have been cranking all along, the more power to you! You might want to moderate your pace, so your investment is sustainable. Regardless of what camp you are in, how are you doing with the new Habits you committed to implementing this year?
I know the people most invested in having an amazing life, are invested in personal development as a means to higher levels of success, in all areas of their life. These are the people stretching themselves. Creating new Habits and investigating better ways to do everything, all the time.
Remember growth and change don’t come easy. You might have already quit trying to forge new Habits. You might not even gotten to implementing them yet. You might still be thinking how you want this year to go. In the whole scheme of things, a few weeks into the year doesn’t make that much of a difference.
You can still do this! Commit to your personal development and give this your best shot. Once the Habit is formed, it’s a HABIT. Then it is just part of your life, not requiring much effort to keep it going. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?
We usually have very specific things we focus on when working on improving our life – specific way of eating, training, working, setting up our home, and the like. But not too often do I hear very specific things partners focus on to nurture their relationship. Now is the perfect time, with Valentine’s Day just around the corner to boot, to set the tone, approach, and new Habits for the best year yet in your relationship!
Then, to start building good Habits you might want to check out our Love Challenge™: Start on February 1st, or at any time you want to Jump-Start, Spring-to-Life, or Reset your relationship. Simple, yet powerful, Daily Relationship Nurturing Nuggets. Treat your partner right! Feel free to tweak, tailor, expand, embellish these to your heart’s content.
And finally, think of what would get your relationship over the hump. What area needs a little TLC? What consistent behaviors can you shower upon this area to make it what you desire? Think about what this area would be like ideally. How do you want it to go? Look like? Feel? Create a vivid picture of how you’d like it to be in your mind’s eye.
Imagine, it’s already like that. How does it feel? Feel the feelings you would feel if it was as you envision… Think how you’d need be to make it so. What parts of you need to come out and play to make it so? How else do you need to grow to fit into this version of your relationship??
Now is the time. Set the tone. Pick the Habit. Make it so!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Nurturing!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Make a list of 50 nurturing behaviors you can shower upon your partner.
Make it your business to do them all before VDay!
Make it fun!
Enjoy!
Add this to your Tool Kit…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How do we make sure this year our relationship is better than ever before? Speaking from personal experience, self-care is the key… And, as I’ve been writing, self-care comes in many forms – from having a luxurious pampering session at a spa to being gentle with yourself in your Self Talk to easing up on your overly ambitious agenda… There is being motivated, and there is driving yourself into the ground. What’s the point in that?
One of my favorite self-care habits, as you probably very well know by now, is that of meditating. If you don’t meditate yet or if you dabble and haven’t taken it seriously, you are missing out! I’m telling you, this is like the magic pill. Some of the benefits of meditating include:
Being more aware
Being more clear
Being more aligned
Being more intentional
Being more abundant
Being more positive
Being more happy
Being more grounded
Being more flexible
Being more responsive
Being more energetic
Being more resourceful
Being more healthy
Being more youthful
Being more knowing and wise
Being more expansive
Being more Timeless
Meditating creates the experience of time slowing down, and by default feeling like you have more time and have access to more moments… And you have the ability to be present in all your moments. And by being present in every moment you are more efficient and productive.
And by being present in every moment you get to really enjoy and live your moments. And every moment is more meaningful, and your life is more meaningful… Eh? Who doesn’t want this?
Meditating is not only a self-care practice, it’s a relationship-care™ practice. When we have a meditative, mindfulness practice, we develop a Quite Mind. That’s where all the benefits listed above come from. When we have a quite mind, we are able to have a Transcendental experience of the world, we get the bird’s eye view…
We don’t miss the forest for the tree… A transcended view gives us a different perspective and therefore the ability to see new opportunities… A different perspective allows us to stay steady in the face of a challenge, to more easily see others’ experience and to more intentionally respond to what is in front of us. This is relationship mana!
So, how about it? Pick-up or step-up your mindfulness practice as a means to a more successful relationship, and more meaningful life… This is an investment in your own wellness, and in the wellness of your relationship. This is an Act of Self-Love, and an Act of Love and Kindness for your Partner (current or future!). Let’s go, time to quite your mind!
And, we are now in the 3rd weekend of theLove Launch™ (a 4-weekend series of relationship enrichment tactics before Valentine’s Day weekend). Feel free to jump in!
Remember to complete the MetroRelationsip™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life…
Share your experience by leaving a comment below!
Happy Transcending!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Explore different ways to develop and expand your Mindfulness Practice…
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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