Things are changing rapidly nowadays in this almost Covid-19 post pandemic, or near endemic, world. We are entering a new phase where we are creating the Next Normal… I still prefer the term Better Normal over New Normal and now the Next Normal… Regardless, this is the time to move beyond what was into what could be…
We’ve experienced a lot of upheaval in the past 2 plus years, and as we choose where we go from here we have to let go of the old to fully embrace the new possibilities. Who we were pre-pandemic is at this point beyond outdated. For us to thrive we need to let go of the old first… Here is to embracing a letting go practice…
As most institutions are getting deconstructed, and we’ll see a lot more of this as we go, the key is to let go with ease, not to fight it…
And this applies to everything… The old ways of doing things are just going away… The hustle and the grind, the rules, the structures, the systems, the forcing and the white-knuckling… We are becoming a much more fluid society and world, to be embraced with more ease and grace. The more we resist this the more we’ll suffer, completely unnecessarily. The more we resist it, the more the suffering will persist…
The letting go has to happen at every level… From the way we think, to our beliefs, to our emotions, to our behaviors, habits and tactics. We are amid a big old deconstruction… And the more we hang on to wanting things like the used to be, or try to apply the old rules to the new world, the more we’ll feel out of sync, uncomfortable, and unhappy…
It’s exhausting to go against the grain, and if we are not aware of the new grain and keep going against it, we are in for a rude awakening…
Just last week I wrote about reparenting yourself, self-fathering yourself, by giving yourself more structure and systems to provide the security you need… The key is not to pursue this with a heavy hand and a suffocating approach – structure and systems don’t have to be rigid… I think that this is where we are going as a society and what better place to start than at home…
So, what does this mean on the practical and for our daily lives? This means getting rid of and letting go of anything that no longer serves you. Letting go of anything that doesn’t feel good, give you joy, and support you, your relationship, and the life you want to create.
This means clearing, cleaning and cleansing…
This includes:
What we do first thing when we get up in the morning, letting go of jumping into the day without connecting to ourselves first (energy/spiritual)
Deciding how we want to feel and embracing those feelings, letting go of anger, resentment, shame, guilt, blame, anxiety, worry, sadness and grief (feelings/emotional)
How we choose to look at our life, the world and those in it, letting go of judgement, separatism and polarization (thinking/intellectual)
Choosing what we’ll focus on and setting up the day to flow, letting go of numbing, controlling and forcing (habits/behavioral)
Simplifying everything and going with the flow, letting go of complexity and elaborateness (plans/strategic)
This is applicable to everything! From your daily routine, to your approach to food, to your health and wellness, to your connection with your partner, to your intimacy with your partner, to your parenting, to your finances, to your home décor, to your career plans, to the services you provide, to what kind of life you want…
Once you put on this lens and see the new reality, the possibilities, you can’t unsee it. Once you taste of it, you can’t untaste it. Once you wake up, you can’t unawake…
You can get super creative with where you apply this in your life… You can literally apply this to everything… You can apply this to how you exercise, to how you work, and even to how you deal with an affair or infidelity in your relationship…
We make life too difficult. We make our relationship too difficult. We make feeling well and happy too difficult. How about we start letting go of the old ways, of working super hard for everything, of making everything so challenging, of white-knuckling our life?
How about we start letting go of forcing things and embrace the beauty that our experience can actually be if only we get out of our own way? How about we start letting go of all the superfluous and all the noise and all the shame and pain?
How about we just embrace life at every moment with whatever shows up and go from there…
How about taking on a 30-Day Challenge to help you clear, to let go, to deconstruct, to reprogram, to change your egoic patterns, get out of your own way…
1 ~ Choose your approach – A morning letting go meditation, a 30-Day Challenge, clearing your commitments and calendar, decluttering your home, etc.
2 ~ Implement your approach – Embrace your tactic with gusto, play full out with acceptance, compassion and ease…
Enjoy!!!
A Letting Go Practice can easily be woven into you lifestyle and daily routine… Embrace this for creating more spaciousness, opportunities, flow and joy in your relationship and your life…
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat –Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner –Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting –Addressing inner child work to transmute your recurring patterns
~ Thriving After Infidelity™ – Stop the torture that comes from discovery, get your new footing, and transform your relationship so that’s better than ever before…
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
We are working on changing patterns… We can tackle this from many different angles as it’s obvious from the topics of our blog posts this year… I love making Summer a time for concentrated focus on personal growth, as we have a little more leisure time to utilize for this endeavor.
As Father’s Day is this weekend, let’s play a bit more with the concept of reparenting ourselves for reprogramming and changing patterns… Why not? Do less and make more changes with self-fathering… Here is wishing all Fathers a terrific weekend, and thank you for being our rock star.
The male and fathering components of our caregiving and parenting was meant to have given us security, safety, dependability, stability, consistency, strength, discipline, motivation… But because we were raised with imperfect caretaking, we didn’t get everything we needed… This shows up in our lives today, when we have a difficult time trusting, letting go, allowing, and such.
We might show up as controlling, rigid, micromanaging to make sure we get what we need or want. By the same token, we might have a challenging time being disciplined, motivated, productive…
When we struggle with these defenses and integrating these male energy characteristics, it is challenging to create the relationship and life we want…
This is a tricky topic because as we live in a world of doing, which is more male energy, it is difficult to differentiate between the regular doing and cultivating the male energy that will serve us in creating what we want.
Therefore, I invite you to an integrative approach to self-fathering, to embracing this male energy and male characteristics without all the doing that’s not doing much in our lives.
Today, I’d like to us to cultivate and integrate this male energy for the self-fathering by shifting from focusing on our external structuring and doing, to an internal version… Instead of creating by doing, managing our time and the like, I’m offering to create security and dependability from within ourselves.
I’m offering to bypass the usual self-disciplining through our external environment to go inwards and connect with ourselves for that trust, stability, and strength… By shifting from the doing to being, this becomes an integrative process as we are drawing on the female energy as well… This makes for a more powerful approach in that we are fully tapping into all of ourselves.
In that connection, we ground ourselves providing the stability and security… In connection we also feel safe and therefore trust… So, in approaching this self-fathering not by setting schedules and other self-discipline tactics but by getting grounded we create the foundation that provides all the benefits of being fathered…
This different integrative approach helps us in our self-reparenting in a more wholistic form that reverberates through our being… As we are grounded, stable, secure, and safe we feel strong, empowered, and motivated to attempt the changes we want. We don’t have to white-knuckle or force anything- we don’t have to muscle it to the ground.
We can have a deeper trust that things flow and work out for us better than we can ever imagine. A deeper trust is born that has our back. From here anything is possible. We can now pursue our desires with gusto as we won’t be stifling them with our control and strong hold.
APPLICATION: Create a very simple self-fathering practice that integrates and cultivates your male energy characteristics to generate security, stability, safety, and trust…
1 ~ Do a mindfulness practice for visioning, purposing, contributing and such
2 ~ Take an inspired action
Let’s embrace self-connection as an approach to self-fathering, for generating security, safety, and trust. Let’s embrace less but more inspired doing for creating the relationship and life we desire…
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat – Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner – Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting – Addressing inner child work to transmute your recurring patterns
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Have you noticed that when you think you want to make a change, that something happens to undermine it and make you go back to the old ways? This is your ego on overdrive at protecting you. It makes excuses and sabotages things to keep the status quo as the known is safer than the unknown…
Unfortunately, this protection keeps you small and holds you back from your evolution and from your best life. Use 30-day challenges to change your patterns…
Our life is a big old habit. Everything we do is out of habit. Our daily routine is a habit. Our thoughts, our feelings, our actions are all habits… How we make decisions, how we approach tasks, how we collaborate, how we work, and so on are all habits… Our personality is a habit… Who we are is a habit…
Have you ever noticed that something might happen that you don’t consider cool and that normally would trigger you, but you are not triggered and as soon as you notice you get upset…?
Or something might happen or is said that you don’t agree with, it goes against you, it breaks a commitment or such that you believe should make you mad, so you get mad?
There are plenty of examples like this. We live by templates and follow them accordingly.
When we try to make any kind of change, including changing or starting a new habit, our ego jumps in to maintain the status quo as it sees change as a threat…
This is why it’s so difficult to create change in our lives… Even when things change on their own, we resist them…
So, we will no longer have any of this going forward… Let’s agree that starting today we will welcome change, we will pursue change, and we will embrace change. Yes?
All our patterns and habits are defenses mounted by our ego… Therefore, the key to creating change is to tame our ego… Let’s get really strategic about addressing our egoic patterns. This doesn’t have to take a rocket scientist or a PhD in psychology. Let’s make this as simple as possible.
I offer you a very simple and down to earth approach to tackling changing egoic patterns in your life.
I suggest embracing 30-Day Challenges as a way to get out of our own way, to disarm the ego, to interrupt and change our current patterns…
For you see a challenge, challenges you… You put in all your resources into it, as opposed to winging trying to create change in a different way. You plan for it, you accommodate for it, you stay focused on it, you are excited about it and you are proud of it. From this place you can disarm and soothe the ego much more easily than if you go in nilly-willy.
Get creative as to your 30-Day Challenge… You can select or create a challenge that supports the change you are trying to make.
The way to do that is to identify what is at the core of the change you want to make – do you want to be more focused, get healthier, strengthen your relationship, build self-esteem, add more joy into your life, expand your self-care practice, remove toxicity from your life, and such… Check out the 30-Day Challenges List I created to help us do this work.
It is very interesting to observe the ego’s machinations as we entertain this, start playing with it and go for it… Stay observant of what comes up, the excuses, the noise, the sabotage… Stay the course by soothing yourself, keep on with ease, compassion and love. Stay present. Reassure your ego that all is well…
Get beneath what the old pattern is protecting you from… What trauma, what triggers, what fears, what wounds are still fermenting somewhere inside you? Be gentle, be understanding, be accepting, be compassionate and be forgiving…
Connect with what is at the core of your programs and address it with love. Shine the light and let go of the shame, the self-doubt, the self-blame, the guilt. Clean out what’s sitting there…
Keep on and give yourself tons of love, high-fives and gold stars as you make progress in your challenge and in addressing what is driving your patterns…
APPLICATION: Take a nice look at your life and note what patterns and/or habits seem to be getting in the way of your best self, best relationship and best life…
~ Select the pattern that when changed it would have the biggest impact for you
~ Identify a 30-Day Challenge that would support you in changing the egoic pattern
~ Select a start date for your challenge and do any prep needed ahead of time so you can have a strong start
~ In your journal, track your experience, what comes up, and what you imagine would be underneath the pattern you are working on changing…
~ Give yourself the understanding, validation, compassion, and love the uncovered wound needs for it to heal… Take note of how you feel.
~ Stay present with what continues to come up and what changes you might experience…
We have the option of being who we want to be… Very few of us exercise that option, choice and power… Let’s change that, shall we?
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat – Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner – Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting – Addressing inner child work to transmute your recurring patterns
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Summertime is one of my favorite times of year. I love everything about it but most importantly I love it as it offers the opportunity to really slow down and be with ourselves and all that is important to us… I find this to be a magnificent time to play at self-growth and relationship enrichment to uplevel our lives. Let’s make this a Summer of upleveling.
When we think of personal development, self-growth, relationship enrichment, and such as a focus, it might feel like a dense project… But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
In reality, focusing on upleveling our life can be really light and fluffy. You can go about evolving yourself and creating the relationship you desire, by just setting the intention to be more mindful and present…
You decide how much you want to play with this idea, how much you want to focus on it, and how much you are open to putting into it.
I know that when I focus on a specific growth place, that what ensues is pure transformation. It has a ripple effect into all areas of my life, including my relationship if I wasn’t focusing directly on it.
Self-growth and Relationship Enrichment as a Summer focus can take on many forms. Here are some possibilities that you can use to inspire your specific play and focus:
Identify an area that needs healing and implement a tactic to help you with it
Consider creating a more passionate relationship and what that would entail, embrace a new intimacy approach to that end
So what would this Self-growth and Relationship Enrichment focus look like for you this Summer? What are areas of your life you’d like to upgrade? Who do you need to become to be able to make that happen? How do you need to show up differently to allow what you desire? What do you need to let go of to allow for and to create space for the new?
Creating the relationship and life we desire, doesn’t happen by default, by accident or by some chance. We have to have to know what we want, be open to that or something better, and have our own back in making it happen…
Are you game? Will you accept my invitation to make this a Summer of Self-growth and Relationship Enrichment?
Would love for you to join in and also have a Summer of upleveling!
APPLICATION: Decide what flavor of Self Growth and Relationship Enrichment you’ll focus on for this Summer of Upleveling…
~ Create a simple plan for playing with your choice
~ Identify what you’d like to experience and feel as you go
~ Identify the outcome you’ll like to achieve
~ Get support to help you stay accountable and making progress
We are always evolving, growing and moving forward in one way or another… It is great to have a hand in how that plays out and how our Journey is to unfold, to the extent we can of course. Being in connection with our Higher Self in this process ensures it all works out for the best for the highest good of all and that we fully and completely honor ourselves…
Here is to the best Summer Upleveling™ yet!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat – Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner – Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting – Addressing inner child work to transmute your recurring patterns
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Radiance Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
This month we celebrated Mother’s Day, this upcoming month we are celebrating Father’s Day. These are gorgeous reminders to celebrate our elders. We tend to live with blinders on forgetting where we come from…
But most importantly these can serve as reminders that though our past might inform who we are, that it doesn’t define who we are unless we let it… I invite you to explore what informs who you are and to have a say in the matter! ReProgram yourself with self-reparenting to change your patterns.
As we’ve been playing with the theme of nurturing is not caretaking and codependency traits, it is obvious that we have programming that is getting in the way of how we see ourselves, how we show up in our lives, and we interact with others.
This is of special note when it comes to our romantic relationship. We tend to create painful and dissatisfying recurring patterns in our relationship when we show up with our defense mechanisms and our programs…
This has always been an issue for people and for relationships, but this is so much more so now adays as our world is becoming more awake, conscientious and authentic…
When we hide and numb ourselves with grinding, busyness, overscheduling, overcommitting, overdoing, scrolling, swiping and surfing, and the rest of it, we are disconnected from ourselves and therefore keeping ourselves in pain…
Then we focus externally for answers and solutions. We blame our boss, government, politics, market, global warming, and so on. Worse, as we know – we blame our parents and more significantly we blame our partner. We people please. We deny ourselves. We continue to hide. We continue to suffer…
When all we have to do is go inward for the answers and the solutions… If only we just did this, we can seamlessly change ourselves, our relationship, and our life… I promise!
When we go inward and connect with ourselves, we see the programs and address them, we can get all the other answers we need, and most awesomely we connect with our brilliance… When we do this, we let our radiance shine right through, and life becomes magical…
When we are connected with ourselves, we can easily identify our feelings, our parts, our programs, our needs, our purpose, our vision and so on. This is a very powerful and resourceful state… You are your friend.
Better yet, when you do this, you can determine what you need to do to heal yourself, to grow yourself up, to evolve yourself, to transcend and to ascend… Regardless of where you are in your spiritual journey, all this is still true for you to develop yourself and enjoy your human experience. To have your best human experience, your best life.
Connecting with yourself helps you connect with your inner child and to tend to it… This is where the self-reparenting comes in… You can give yourself what you desired and needed growing up that you were unable to get from your imperfect caregivers…
Connecting with your inner child allows you to take care of yourself at a deeper level. Self-care takes on a whole new meaning now… It helps your inner child be heard, seen, validated, fully accepted and loved unconditionally…
When we are committed about having our best human experience, it makes sense to tend to what about us holds us back from experiencing it and living it. Our programming is at the core of it. If we want to reprogram ourselves, we need to include inner child work to our repertoire to assist us change the patterns…
Your inner child can’t wait to get attention from you!
~ Explore where in your life you find you suffer the most. Where do you find you have the most programs, or recurring patterns? What themes are pervasive in your life, in your relationship? ~ Determine what you need, more mothering and/or more fathering… Consult your inner child… Mothering- Do you feel like you need more love, attention, affection, caring, nurturing? Fathering- Do you feel like you need more trust, safety, security, stability, consistency? ~ Design two habits or tactics that you’ll do recurringly to give yourself what you identified above. You can do one habit or tactic for each or both habits or tactics for either mothering or fathering depending on what you are looking to reprogram…
When you start doing this deeper healing and honoring, everything in your life transform… Your relationship becomes magical, your life becomes magical…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life – Designing and implementing your personalized self-love practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat – Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply and creating the relationship you desire
~ Feeling Stuck and Spring Cleaning is NOT Cutting it – Deconstructing and reconstructing yourself to unleash the radiance within
~ Create an Epic Love Affair with Your Partner – Addressing the struggle and upleveling your relationship to create your epic love affair
~ Get Unstuck with Self ReParenting – Addressing inner child work to transmute your recurring patterns
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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