Re-Fathering has to do with personal discipline and how we set ourselves up to succeed in life and in relationships. It has to do with personal power, with boundaries, with ownership, with accountability. It has to do with how we do our life day-in and day-out. It has to do with our structure (e.i., TimeMap), routines, habits, and systems. It has to do with leveraging our support and resources. It has to do with managing our life…
This doesn’t mean rigidity. It means creating a Flow that carries you, so you don’t have to keep reinventing the wheel, putting out fires and spinning. It means you start doing things automatically, so your energy is used for more rewarding endeavors. Ah…
This means not having to white-knuckle your life and pull will-power from somewhere… How you set things up makes life easier. You don’t have to wrestle with it every day… Life is here for you, not against you…
When you start putting these things in place, you don’t have to muster self-discipline… This act in and of itself is self-discipline and helps you be self-disciplined! Eh?
And, when you do this, you create security, safety and stability (Fathering). This experience additionally promotes your internal “rewiring”/reprogramming…
And furthermore, when you automatically run your life well and can re-channel your focus and energy toward more pleasurable, productive and impactful pursuits you are Free to live a life well lived… Voila!
So, how do you manage your life even better? Key personal characteristics involved here are fully owning yourself and being fully accountable… This means keeping your word no matter what, including meeting deadlines and due dates. This means timely following through, following-up and checking-in.
This means acknowledging, apologizing and repairing mistakes. This means showing-up and being fully present. This means being truly transparent and authentic. This means putting in place whatever is necessary to help you manage your life better…
Assignment: What area of your life needs more Discipline (structure, routines, habits, systems)? You can tackle it with gusto now, or you can start practicing strengthening the discipline muscle by applying Self-Discipline to your Summer Theme, Summer Bucket List, or Summer Personal Projects™.
Let this Summer inspire more Self-Discipline in all you do… And, you’ll have your best Summer yet!!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
With the 4th of July just around the corner, I usually like to write about Freedom around this time. I was inspired to write more about feelings, emotions and their relationship to Freedom…
It is an obvious fact that some people are very emotional and others barely even notice how they feel… Emotions have to do with feeling in the body, and feelings have to do with naming the emotions and owning them with awareness.
Some people wear their feelings up their sleeves while others minimize them or put them away. And, yet others are cut off from them, barely being aware of them and even not feeling them at all.
Emotions and feelings are our built-in guidance system to assist us navigate our Journey and design the life we want. When we are not in touch with the guidance system, how do we do the navigation? How do we know what’s ok for us and what isn’t? What we like and don’t like?
What we want and don’t want? What makes us happy and what doesn’t? What gives us pleasure and what repulses us? What is meaningful and what isn’t? You see, this knowledge comes from emotions and feelings…
We might have a strong emotion but bury it for whatever reason before we understand its message and meaning. Being with the emotion, feeling it, is the first step. Naming the emotion, with a feeling word, is the second step. Then checking in what it’s all about and what it’s signaling to you is the third step.
When we numb ourselves with substances, food, work, Netflix, and other fixations, we are cutting ourselves off from our Personal Guidance System (PGS) and undermining the connection to our Self. However we choose to cut off from our emotions, we are sabotaging our ability to create our joyful, rewarding and meaningful life. We choose to not live a life well-lived. We choose to dishonor our human experience trip…
When we don’t do a reasonable job of translating emotions to feelings and understanding and addressing their message, we get stuck. We block ourselves to the point where things break down – our health, our relationships, our finances, our careers, our success in life…
When we do the feeling work – when we allow awareness, translate emotions into feelings, and process and address their message, we integrate body, mind and spirit… Ah, now this is having a full human experience… From this place you are fully resourced. From this place you are Free from dis-ease, blockages, stubbornness, defense mechanisms, power struggles, repeating patterns, stuckness, mediocracy, a challenging life…
From this place you:
Increase wellness
Eliminate physical and emotional symptoms
Increase your vitality and longevity
Experience unexplained happiness and joy
Become more productive in less time
Experience time slowing down/having more time
Unleash creativity and resourcefulness
Transcend annoyances and minutiae
Let go of control and separateness
Have more compassion, patience and understanding
Feel more connected, secure and bigger than life…
From this place you can really rock your life!
Assignment: If you still find yourself minimizing the importance of Feelings (even judging “emotional people”), or not giving feelings enough credit, I implore you to kick this concept around. Experiment with noticing the emotions in your body and giving them feeling names… See what starts coming up, release it, and note the Liberation you’ll experience…
Some people are not Free because of the politics, social norms, religion and such in their environment. The rest are not free because they choose not to be… The rest are afraid to live a well lived life, to own themselves fully – to own their magnificence, to become all that they are…
If this is you, it’s time to stop living a mediocre life and step up your game. Have your feelings and rock your world!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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