We all have our holidays traditions, but are yours giving you joy and filling your heart? Following holiday traditions doesn’t mean driving ourselves into the ground with so many to-dos just to check off the boxes of all the things that should get done during the holiday season. I think it’s time to rethink all the extra things we do just for the sake of doing them… Uplevel your holidays with enriching traditions.
But can we even tell the difference between just holidays to-dos and meaningful traditions we value?
If the task or plan feels heavy, burdensome, tedious, or overwhelming, that’s a pretty good sign that it no longer resonates with you, or possibly never did. It can also mean you might be going about it an outdated way, or that there are wounds and patterns that are getting triggered…
Traditions and rituals promote the identity of the couple and the family and serve to transfer values and meaning to the next generation.
If your holidays typically leave you feeling spent, triggered and all out of sorts, that’s a good indication that the way you go about the holidays is not serving you.
Here are some examples of thing I’ve come across that you might relate to:
Spending hours hunting deals on Black Friday and Cyber Monday and thereafter
Buying things just because they are a good deal
Getting distracted or triggered by all the hoopla of the sales and deals
Going beyond means to buy gifts and putting spending on credit cards that already carry balances
Going to a multitude of parties, outings, and other gatherings spreading ourselves thin
Overindulging in food and drink and other substances
Letting go of self-care and mindfulness practices because the daily routine changed
Decorating and gifting with candy and other overly processed consumables
Doing holiday cards, albums, calendars, mugs, pillows, and the like with photos of the children
Giving chotskies for the sake of giving something
Participating in multiple drives and volunteer opportunities
Cooking and baking, or catering, as if for an army and having most of it go to waste
Staying up till hours of the night cooking or wrapping presents
Having the holidays revolve around gift giving
Having celebrations revolve around alcohol/substances consumption and monitoring
Having the ritual of going back to the stores to do returns the day after Christmas
The theme here is in overdoing, overindulging, and overall excess- all usually at our, others, and the planet’s expense in one form or another…
I challenge you to review all your holiday to-dos, traditions, and rituals for what is enriching, meaningful and joyful about them. How are they encouraging and promoting your values? And, to identify if they are just a bunch of checkmarks on your list or excessive.
Decide now how you’d like the rest of the holiday season to go. What do you need to tweak in your approach to have truly replenishing and rejoicing holidays.
APPLICATION: Invite your partner and family members to do a Holidays Review…
~ Review your to-dos, traditions and rituals for their tediousness and heaviness or enrichment and joyfulness quotient ~ Identify if your approach is capturing and reflecting your true values (not what you value because of a pattern or defense mechanism and as a form of compensation…) ~ Decide what you will no longer do and take an action toward eliminating that as necessary ~ Decide what might be missing to add spark, meaning and joy and take an action toward integrating more richness flowing from your values ~ You’ll know you are on the right track as you feel delighted and joyful as you make progress towards designing and planning your holiday celebrations
Let the focus these holidays be on genuine and generous giving, not on checkmark giving…
Let the season be truly magical by entwining the essence of the holidays with the essence of you and yours.
Enjoy (be) the holidays, don’t do the holidays…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
The next 90 days can make a real huge difference as to how you end up making out for the year. This is the time to regroup so you can reset your focus, targets, and desires…This is also the time to realign against your values and how you want the rest of the year to go. What kind of year do you want to have in all?
How do you want this one to go down in history? How do you want to have made your life better? How do you want to have gotten a bit closer to your Life Vision? The key is in mapping out meaningful experiences through the next 90 days…
You see, I used to be a real grinder… I can still be- I’m highly productive, can work tirelessly for endless hours, and do it without blinking an eye… The difference is that not only have I learned to work smarter and get better support, but now also I prioritize myself and my lovies a lot better and more than I ever used to.
For instance, I have embraced cultivating a Self Love Practice, that goes way beyond my already rich Self Care Practice… These have made such a massive difference in my wellbeing, health, connection, and just in my overall abundance. Not only did this help with safeguarding my energy, mental health, bandwidth, and time, but also with optimizing them…
A favorite tactic that I have truly enjoyed from this practice is Mapping Out Experiences. Since I’ve had such wonderful success with this, I wanted to highlight it here for you so hopefully it has the same beautiful impact in your life.
Because we are starting the last quarter of the year, I wanted to offer something that would have a significant impact on the flavor of your year so it’s more memorable… And usually, things that are memorable have to do with feelings, connection, memories and the like… The softer side of life…
To that end, I want to specifically focus on Mapping Out Experiences through the Next 90 Days. I’m sure you’ve heard that we are moving from the Information Age to the Experiences Age…
So, Mapping Out Experiences it is:
This has to do with identifying what kind of person you want to show up as in this world, and expanding your identity as necessary creating the new version of you…
This has to do with creating a master working list of experiences that help you stretch into, practice, and personify the new version of you.
This has to do with creating a seasonal, yearly or life bucket list to inspire you into new or repeat favorite experiences that bring you joy.
This has to do with identifying interest and pursuits and creating a cadence to engage in them, so they are consistently an inspiration and recharging source in your life.
This has to do with creating rituals and upgraded traditions that add more flavor, meaning and richness to your interactions and life flow…
Playing with any of the above will improve your life significantly… The key here is to pursue this in moderation yet playing full out. You don’t want to overload yourself and then end up shooting yourself on the foot because your life is so crammed that even the fun things are not enjoyable…
Once you have identified all the awesomeness you want to enrich your relationship/s and life with, then it’s time for Mapping Out Experiences.
APPLICATION: Complete the experience list/s that made your heart skip a bit when you read it. Which resonated most for you?
~ Review your list/s for the items you’d really like to experience or implement sooner than later. Mark all that apply.
~ Now go back and prioritize them becoming more selective. You want to sprinkle these into your lifestyle, not overrun it…
~ Then add one or two interests into your weekly/monthly routine following some sort of cadence.
~ Then schedule fun outings, events or other plans and experiences.
~ Finally, dust your plan with a new ritual or tradition to really take the whole thing to the next level…
Do this for the next 90 days, and keep this as part of your reset to do on a quarterly basis… And, this is how you keep creating your Best Relationship/s and Best Life… Enjoy!
Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed while we do what we are meant to do with our Journey… Make the most of it by intentionally pursuing the things that give you joy and purpose…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Complete the Relationship Enrichment Course to help you take your relationship to the next level!
Whether you need an overhaul or next level inspiration, this course helps you:
Break the impasse, be empowered, feel hopeful and inspired again
Improve your communication and deepen your understanding of each other
Change your patterns and better meet your and your partner’s needs
Enrich your connection, enhance your intimacy and truly enjoy being with each other
Strengthen your partnership, strive towards your Joint Life Vision, role model a radiant and successful relationship
You can access it through our Member Center, FREE with our Radiance Membership Access it HERE
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Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I’m operating with a new mantra, Keep clearing. Doing another round of letting go of the old (like possessions, processes, ways of thinking…), and I’m seriously embracing the concept of entering a New Era… Feeling amazing… Yay! How are you doing?
If we want change to happen, we have to change how we do things… We have to change how we look at things… We have to change how we are showing up, how we are choosing to Be. We have to be different to create a new reality… Change doesn’t just happen. And, especially it doesn’t happen by doing more of the same with stronger conviction… We just dig ourselves more and more into our status quo with that approach…
Our best thinking got us this far. But the mindset, capabilities, and tactics that got us here became outdated. It’s time to level-up if we are to create our best year yet, our best relationship yet, our best life yet. It’s time to clear the old if we are to have space for the new… It’s time to truly embrace our potential, our desires, our calling, our purpose, our mission. It’s time to step-it up if we are to play a bigger game.
Now, please do not let your Ego tell you, I’m good, I don’t need a bigger game… This is just your fear talking! Stop fooling yourself that you want a simple life. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is simple and there is Simple. I’m talking about going for the simple that implies mediocracy… Stop settling!
I’ll take simple vs complex as much as my current brain will allow me. Still working on cracking that code, on letting go of making things complicated… LOL But, I’m saying let’s go for an elegantly simply efficient and productive Grand Life…
We usually can’t snap our finger and switch gears. If it was that simple everyone would be living their Grand Life already… It requires owning our why, owning our values, owning our desires, owning our current level of investment into our values, owning our current level of functioning, and fully owning our current status in all areas of our life… It requires complete ownership, a truthful reality check, and full commitment to create our Grand Life…
Hey, you can choose to have your simple mediocre life. That’s always your prerogative, but then maybe I’m not the lid for your pot. And, that’s OK. I’m here to serve those that want to live their life to their full potential, who want to go for it. I’m here to serve those who want to save their marriage, their relationship. Who want to have an amazing relationship with their Partner.
I’m here to serve those that are not afraid to weather the tough times. Who are willing to do what it takes to stay in the game. Who are willing to look at how they contribute to their status quo, and to change how they do their side. Who are willing to stretch out of their comfort zone.
Who are willing to be uncomfortable as they stretch. Who make being uncomfortable their new norm, for as you keep evolving and creating awesomeness you’ll always be stretching and hence uncomfortable a lot…
Do you get that going for your Grand Life requires you fully show up to your life? Really show up… Are you willing to step up your game? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? If not now when…? Don’t wait for the perfect time to start working on things… In all reality, all it takes is a decision… Decide now you are no longer settling. Decide now to go full on for your Grand Life…
If you are struggling in your relationship or simply are going for its next best version, here is a wonderful relationship investment to do this Valentine’s Season:
Love Launch™
During the 4 Weekends leading to Valentine’s Day (or another occasion, or just because!), you are to make a real concerted investment at nurturing your relationship. Do it with gusto and to please your Partner. Put on the “dating lens” – remember you’d do anything for your partner once upon a time…? Go all out to make an impression. And, YOU enjoy the process as you go…
Include this 14 Day Love Challenge! Start on February 1st, or at any time you want to Jump-Start, Spring-to-Life, or Reset your relationship. Simple, yet powerful, Daily Relationship Nurturing Nuggets. Treat your partner right!
Kudos on subscribing to this Newsletter. Kudos on reading this Issue. Kudos on staying open to bringing your relationship and your life to the next level. Now, let’s do it!
ASSIGNMENT: If you are still on the sidelines, a passive bystander, know that you are just killing time and wasting your life. Why postpone your transformation, your results, having your Grand Life? It just doesn’t make sense! Please, PLEASE, make a commitment to get in the game, I’d hate to leave you behind.
You know that when we really want something, we get it… You know that you have made things happen before when you wanted to… Just decide you are going for it, really going for it not dabbling in it… It makes a MASSIVE difference…
Take a look at the Valentine’s Day Love Launch™ and Love Challenge™ and commit to playing full out – embrace the protocols and work it baby!
Make the commitment to invest in your Love Life… Here is to an amazing Love Season!
Can’t wait to delight you with our next goodie to help you properly invest in your relationship! Stay tuned for details!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Investing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we embark on a new era… I want you to come along… I want your life to continue to become better and better as well. I want us to continue to Design and enjoy our Best Life. I want us to continue to have an amazing Human Experience and for it to get better every day.
Now, I know that the holidays are tough for most… I also know that even though we are all pumped with the New Year, the new decade!, that in a few weeks people crash… I also know that people still have challenges and struggles in life… This is why I’m writing the current sequence, I’m getting to it – I promise!, to help you realign your relationship and kick-off the New Year with pizzazz!
But, I’m not naïve in thinking that a few blog posts are enough, though I try to give you so much, to help you change your life if you are feeling stuck and are struggling. This is why I want to offer you the opportunity to easily get support to help you over the hump. You can really make this your best year yet… How about it , will you let us help you?
Ok, and now on to Element4 of our Sequence for better implementing theSuccessful Couple Strategy™:
Element1 – Context & Mindset
Element2 – Communication & Alignment
Element3 – Clarity & Dynamics
Element4 – Connection & Intimacy
Element5 – Collaboration & Partnership
Today’s topic – Stopping the disconnect by getting your swag on. Aside from not moving forward in the relationship, not feeling supported, not getting along and arguing a lot, feeling disconnected from our partner is a top contender for couples not feeling satisfied and happy in their relationship, and in their life…
Feeling disconnected is a real tough one, it eats at your soul… Where there is fighting there is passion. But with disconnect there is deeper, black, gut wrenching pain…
Disconnect breeds feelings of aloneness, loneliness, rejection, unworthiness, despair, hopelessness which in turn trigger anxiety and depression, and other goodies… I’ll spare you the heaviness of presenting this topic from this angle. But know that all this is very serious and dangerous to our wellbeing. Feeling disconnected is not to be taken lightly.
I want to address the topic instead from my usual lighter and more practical angle to prompt your shift… I offer an alternate perspective to how you might usually look at things, that keeps you stuck… When you change your usual lens, you can more easily realign and create the changes you seek… You can more easily get out of your own way… You can effortlessly invite, allow, and cocreate what you Desire…
This is the gentle, loving and compassionate way of saying you contribute to your disconnect… Hang on if you had a reaction just then… Don’t shoot the messenger! LOL I know that when we feel disconnected we usually blame our partner for it… We claim they are too busy.
They don’t care as much as we do. They are insensitive and don’t have feelings. They are too arrogant. They are narcissistic… I’m not taking away from any of these. They are probably true! So what!?
These do not mean you cannot have a caring, loving, satisfying and happy relationship with your partner. This just means you have work to do… This means there is a reason you attracted and are with this partner… If this is what you got, this is what you need…
This is your second chance at getting what you didn’t get back then… [Refer to the last issue/post] Hey, again, don’t shoot the messenger. You can always choose to try again with someone else. But, while we are here, we might as well try it my way. Ok? What have you got to lose?
When we feel disconnected from our partner is because we are choosing to focus on everything our partner is doing wrong… We think, and even usually vocalize, how we think they should be, operate, feel and the like. We go in their circle… We don’t followgood boundaries protocols…
When we are in their circle, we are not in ours… When we are in their circle, they feel crowded and shy away… When we are not in ours, we are disempowered and unattractive… Bam!
This is part of what creates disconnect… There are a lot of other factors but tackling this is the quickest way to start creating change… When we get out of our partner’s circle, they can stop withdrawing, running, hiding and the like. All of a sudden, they are more available and interested…
When we come back into our own circle, we feel amazing! For that’s where we are supposed to be. There is awesomeness in our circle. There is power and beauty in our circle. This is where we have Swag…
When we own ourselves, embody our Authentic, our Higher Self, and show up with our Best Self, then there is no chance in heck that our partner can ignore us, not be interested in us, not be attracted to us and not want to do everything for us… This is on us. We only get this when we don’t demand it… We only get this when we do Us…
And, then there wouldn’t be disconnect anyway… (Wink!)
ASSIGNMENT: By Golly, stop focusing on how your partner sucks and start focusing on how to do You better! That’s it. Seriously. It’s time to stop whining and start owning your life. What can you take on by the horns? It’s a New Year.
It can be a New You if you mean business. It’s time. Get off the sidelines and get in the game. It’s time for a new Relationship (with your partner), a new Life. And, it all starts with You. Change the focus to your Self and how to continue to become your Best Self.
When you have You, there is no disconnect… When you have you, your Partner has you… This is where the disconnect goes away… Enjoy You, and enjoy a newfound Connection…
Next week’s issue is the last of the Series. Don’t miss it! I’ll be covering how create a Strong Partnership in the New Year! Here is to our Best Year Yet!!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Connecting!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we embark on this long holiday weekend kicking off the Summer, it is the perfect time to ponder upon what kind of Summer we’d like to have… By now most choices for academic and extracurricular activities for the next school year have also been completed, as we wrap up this year.
By now enrollment to Summer camps, programs and the like have been completed. And, by now vacations, trips, and experiences for the Summer have most likely also been chosen and even booked.
So, what’s left to do to enjoy the Summer, you ask? Well, as far as I’m concerned:
Select a Theme or Focus for the Summer – Even though we look at the Summer as a time of leisure, we tend to nonetheless pack it with activities… There is nothing wrong with being active and pursuing fun things. But, as usual, I caution the overpacking it in…
So, even if you have an exceptional funnest Summer Bucket List, don’t kill yourself doing all the items on the list. Use the list as inspiration and idea holder. The Theme or Focus can thus be: Relaxation. Leisure. Ease. Restful. Quiet. Pampering. Open. Free. Under-committed. Unscheduled. (More on Focus Terms™)
Select a Summer Project/s – I find so much inspiration during the Summer months. I believe the more ease, openness and spaciousness (from the usual, anyway) lends itself to more creativity… We get all juiced up to start Autumn and the “new (school) year” reaching for the Stars.
Summer is the perfect time to pursue a creative outlet, personal project, or personal development strategy as we tend to be more personally focused… But even a work, career, business or professional project is fun to take on as repose begets innovation…
Select the Experience to be had – And, by this I don’t mean having an activity type of experience, like going on a Safari (put that on your bucket list!). By this one I mean, how do you want to Feel during the Summer? How do you want to Experience, how do you want it to be like? What kind of memories would you want to make? What would make it memorable? What would make it exceptional? What would you want to be able to Memorialize?
After these, you are truly ready for the Summer. I find that if we are not intentional, time passes us by, and we don’t get to milk our moments for all they are worth. Don’t just saunter in, keep on as usual, and then regret you missed out on more fun. And, again, more fun doesn’t mean being loaded with more activities. It means enjoying the ones you do… Be selective. Be proactive. Be intentional.
Assignment: Do your Selecting this weekend. Choose how you want to Memorialize this Summer. Check out the Related Issues of Interest below to have a real intentional approach to this Summer.
Now is the time. Set up your Summer approach now and all you have to do later is to Enjoy!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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