You know, it’s not enough to desire to have an amazing relationship. For us to have an amazing relationship, we have to want it and create it… This is where partners go wrong. They might just expect it to happen on its own.
They don’t necessarily know how to go about creating their extraordinary relationship. Or, they try but their attempts don’t pan out… Sometimes the relationship might feel like a dry sponge, it needs more than one drop of water for it to work well as a sponge… Embrace nurturing your relationship, use the 5 relationship boosting activities to get you going…
Note though, that any relationship strengthening, enrichment, and nurturing exercises and activities can’t happen in a vacuum. In and of themselves they won’t do much…
The key is to have a Relationship Enrichment Mindset™– to recognize the relationship as the cornerstone of our life, to decide to have a radiant and successful relationship, to choose to be the Best Partner, and to embrace relationship enrichment and nurturing as a lifestyle…
One such great addition to your lifestyle it to Date Your Partner… Aside from doing the Connection Habits, the Delighting Your Partner and other nurturing tactics, it is important to stay romantically engaged to keep the spark alive…
The 5 relationship boosting activities help bring the romance back…
Relationship Boosting Activities
You can add these to your repertoire of activities you integrate into your lifestyle to create your extraordinary relationship…
1 ~ Reminiscing – We have very short-term memories for the good stuff… We tend to forget all the good we’ve been through… During Couple Time, Date Night, special time set aside for this, or on the go, bring back memories of special moments, cute situations, fun experiences, anecdotes, pranks and anything else that sparks joy and connection and brings a smile to your faces.
2 ~ Complimenting – We are great at complaining and pointing out what we don’t like and what’s been done wrong… How about we flip that on its head and focus instead on acknowledging, appreciating, and pointing out all the good things. And, how about making it a point of praising and complimenting our partner daily going forward…
3 ~ Wishing – We are usually too focused on the daily grind to pick up our heads and think and plan for the future. Specially for the fun things… Couples get in a rut as this happens and it becomes harder to think of fun things to do, to plan them and to actually have fun doing them… Invite your partner to create a joint Fun Wish List and/or Bucket List of things to experience together. Enjoy the brainstorm and building the anticipation.
4 ~ Experiencing – It is not enough to live in the same home, raise our children, and go on vacation a couple of times a year. Relationships need meaningful, touching, and fun moments to become memorable and feel special. Partners need to feel each other, enjoy each other, and enjoy life together. Play with your bucket and wish lists to have great experiences and have great fun together, create amazing memories to cherish for a lifetime.
5 ~ Touching – Make it your business to touch your partner… This includes all kinds of touching- putting your hand on their shoulder, arm, or lower back, holding hands, kissing good morning and good night, cuddling, hugging, kissing, caressing, touching more intimately, making out and go from there…
Our relationship is what we make of it… Our relationship is what we make it…
Watch the video on the 5 Relationship Boosting Activities… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: Choose a Relationship Boosting Activity to play with and integrate into your life this coming week:
1 ~ Reminiscing – Set time aside to remember the good times 2 ~ Complimenting – Praise and compliment your partner on something daily 3 ~ Wishing – Create a Fun Wish List or Bucket List together 4 ~ Experiencing – Map out and schedule your fun experiences 5 ~ Touching – Experiment with different ways of touching your partner…
Creating an extraordinary relationship doesn’t have to be challenging. All that is required is the will and being intentional about it… You CAN create the relationship you desire… Keep the spark alive!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
❤️This month’s Masterclass Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat- Connect More Deeply, Rekindle Your Love Keeping the love alive is not easy. Relationship slumps are common, but they don’t have to do you in. Come learn how to recharge your relationship and rekindle your love. Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Register HERE
❤️If you missed the embracing a Self-Love Practice Masterclass, you can still get it through our Member Center with a Lifestyle Membership! A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life- Stop Self-Sabotage, Increase Resilience, and Generate More Joy Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Enroll HERE
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
How much do you love Valentine’s Day? That’s a tricky question, posed as an invitation for you to think about Relationship Nurturing… Regardless of how you feel about the holiday, and regardless of the status of your relationship…, I encourage you to use it to earmark a moment to step it up in the love department in your relationship…
For you see any excuse to be nicer, more generous, more nurturing, more wooing should be an automatic, Yes. This is how you uplevel your relationship by delighting your partner…
I obviously agree that this should not just be left for Valentine’s Day… Let me offer my yearly disclaimer and then we can get to delighting your partner. 😉
Part of what makes good relationships great, is the extra mile the partners go to for their partner… This is beyond the business of life… They are willing to put in the time, to give the attention, to create the fun and funny memories, to create traditions, to do special gestures outside of the routine, to create special moments that highlight what is important.
Celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day and the rest of the holidays by adding something special for your partner shows your partner they are your person… Your partner should not be treated like everybody else and obviously not worse, which unfortunately happens too often…
So- Valentine’s Day is just another opportunity to do something special for your partner. Ok? Ok.
And hey, I get that figuring out what to do for fun, what to do for Date Night, and how to woo your partner for Valentine’s Day and otherwise can leave most partners at a loss. Delighting your partner can be such a pleasure for them and for you…
Let me show you how to be Delighting…
Delighting Your Partner
Delighting your partner has to do with doing gestures that touch their heart. Plain and simple. We can go completely out of our way to do something for our partner but if they don’t want it, like it or appreciate it, we are just wasting our time.
It is very easy for us to think of what is best for our partner and to think we know what they need, according to us. But most of the time when we are coming from this place, we are just in their circle (owning them, crossing boundaries, codependently caretaking) and not really being delighting…
The key to Delighting our partner has to do with giving them what they would like because they’ve told us or from what we know about them (not from a caretaking place). If getting the nuance here is challenging, refer toother boundary setting and ownership work.
Even after that distinction it might still be challenging to think of how, and to keep things fresh and interesting.
Some ways to help you come up with ideas is to use your partner’s:
• Practical Needs • Emotional Needs • Love Language • Interests • Idiosyncrasies • Desires • Dreams
You can generate a list of gifts, gestures, activities, and more for each item listed to prime yourself and get the creative juices going. Don’t limit yourself to what you come up with, let this serve as an inspiration and a tickler to generate additional ideas…
Be always on the lookout for what might tickle your partner’s heart.
You don’t have to torture yourself to be super creative and think outside the box for the most special gift ever and the most romantical outing ever. LOL
The key to Delighting your partner is to know your partner and do the things that pleases them…
Other Categories
You can come up with as many other categories as you’d like, and then flesh them out for specific Delighting gestures… For example:
Routine & Sustenance Related – On a recurring basis as a ritual or spontaneously as a treat, do anything from this list or your version of them for your partner
• Breakfast in bed • Morning coffee • Workout shake • Green smoothie or juice • Cut up or baked vegetables for snacking • Salad or other healthy lunch • Healthy midafternoon snack or treat • Flavored tea • Favorite dinner • Decadent dessert
Romancing & Wooing Related – On an ongoing basis, for special occasions, or just because, use these romantical and wooing gestures and activities or your version of them towards your partner (We have a few vendors we like, check them out Here!)
• Fresh flowers bouquets, wreaths, plants • Perfumes, candles, essential oils • Handcrafted chocolates or other delicacies, novelty, or decadent treats • Tickets to events or activities • Gags and pranks • Couple classes (i.e., flower arrangements, cooking, chocolate making, dancing) • Other experiences (i.e., massage and body ritual, food and wine tasting, driving experience) • Being in nature (i.e., hiking, camping, stargazing, fruit picking) • Relationship scrapbooking or music playlisting • Sexy toys, clothing, activities
Delighting your partner doesn’t have to stump you. Just take a moment to don your generous, nurturing and playful vibes and give it a think.
Watch the video for inspiration on embracing Delighting Your Partner… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: Decide to embrace a Relationship Nurturing Practice that includes Delighting Your Partner…
1. Select or identify a Delighting Category you’ll play with this month 2. Flesh out what kind of gestures, activities, and gifting it might include 3. Map out your delivery of this deliciousness throughout the month
Have fun Delighting your partner!
Now think what would happen to your relationship if you did this every month… How is that for a challenge, will you accept it?
Remember, that to have an amazing relationship means, we have to create an amazing relationship… Here is to yours!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
🌟 This month’s Masterclass
Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat- Connect More Deeply, Rekindle Your Love Keeping the love alive is not easy. Relationship slumps are common, but they don’t have to do you in.
Come learn how to recharge your relationship and rekindle your love. Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Register HERE
🌟 If you missed the embracing a Self-Love Practice Masterclass, you can still get it through our Member Center with a Lifestyle Membership!
A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life- Stop Self-Sabotage, Increase Resilience, and Generate More Joy
Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Enroll HERE
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
As we witness our country get ravished by this pandemic, and what seems the worst is yet to come, we have to prepare to weather the storm. To ride the wave… To make sure we can hang on to hope, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and to look for the silver lining… I know it’s very challenging to do that as things get worse.
Nonetheless, this is our chance to show what we are made of… This is our chance to overcome the impossible. This is our chance to actually not just merely adjust, but to figure out how to Thrive, influencing, having an impact, making a difference… This is it. This is when the road splits in your life, and you decide which way to go…
Will you be a victim, or will you be a leader? The choice is yours.
There is such a large spectrum of how people are impacted by our historic circumstance, that I will not even attempt to address the whole spectrum. Please know that I know my audience, so my message is targeted to you, and not what is happening for everyone else… Please read with that in mind, and don’t worry about how it fits for others… Deal?
Having said that, I know that you rock your life. I know that you influence others in, and with, your life. I know that you are smart, strong, resourceful and already in a position of leadership (whether officially or by the mere fact that you are awesome).
I know you have a lot on your plate and feel very overwhelmed at times. I know that you are doing the best you can, and sometimes lose sight of the road. I know that you can feel intimidated by our current world circumstance and might be feeling at a loss, hopeless or stuck. I also know that you will figure this out and use for the greater good, somehow…
That’s the plan we are on. Ok? Please keep remembering that you are awesome, that you have weathered other storms, and that you came out better because of it… This is actually the beauty in life, that we tend to miss when in panic and missing the forest for the tree…
The beauty in life is figuring out how to beat the challenges, and making them work to our advantage, for our richer Human Experience… Don’t lose sight of this! Tattoo it on your forehead if you have to! LOL For this is the key!!
So, then what is your life about? What is your challenge? What do you have to crack? Seriously, I mean business. Let’s do this, let’s crack the code. Let’s choose the other split on the road… This is it! What is your lesson? What do you have to conquer? What is your Achilles heel?
What is the thing that once it’s cracked you can smooth sail? If you don’t know, this is your homework until you get it… Period. This will make all the difference in your life… I promise… No more taking it easy. Are you in, or are you out?
You can’t waffle, that’s for living a mediocre life. If you are serious about having your Best Life, your Best Human Experience, then own this already. No more buffering… No more sitting by the sidelines… No more waiting to see what happens… Yes?
What does this mean for you?How will you tackle the code you need to crack? What will you do differently? How will you break the habit of being you? What will you do to become You 2.0?
One way to crack the code is to address your negativity bias, your limiting believes and your fears… This reprograms your operating system so you can more easily and successfully tackle the business of life and live through your Gifts… No more self-sabotage, no more buffering, no more wasting time, no more spinning wheels, no more barking up the wrong tree or climbing up the wrong ladder. No more missing the forest for the tree.
It’s time to Transcend the petty, the small, the noise, the nonsense. It’s time to embrace your magnificence…
You can do this! This is your chance to ride the wave into the New World…
ASSIGNMENT: Unfortunately, unless we enthusiastically embrace a personal development lifestyle, we walk around with really old and glitching programming that undermines us at every turn and holds us back from our Best Life.
>Today, make a list of all the scripts, stories, fears, worries, and limiting beliefs you allow to rent space in your head.
>During the next couple of days, stay on the lookout for any old automatic thinking you might have missed. Catch yourself allowing any of your programming to take over…
>Next, redo your list outlining the reality about what you wrote, not your perception, habitual thinking or chip on your shoulder version… The more honest you are the more you’ll deconstruct this… Review your list and notice how different it feels…
>Going forward, catch yourself in your old habitual thinking and replace it with the reality-based version… Ta-da!
Become obsessed about cleaning your thinking, your Best Life depends on it!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Here is the thing, a lot of people don’t know how to be High Performers, the Masters of their lives. Most people don’t know how to create the most from their lives by increasing productivity, creativity, peacefulness, joy, love and connection… They don’t know how to stay healthy, have increased vitality, and feel amazing most of the time… Actually, they might know but haven’t learned the self-discipline to pursue this with gusto for great results…
I know self-discipline can be challenging, especially when we have a lot going on. It can take insurmountable amounts of willpower when we might already be in a depleted state. This is when we end up feeling stuck, hopeless, depressed, anxious and other goodies.
The key is not to push yourself, beat yourself, shame yourself, or numb yourself… The key is to show up better with less effort!
When we think about our Best Life and then compare it to our current life, this might feel discouraging…
The first step is to own where we are at. A lot of times we get stuck, spin our wheels, and get paralyzed in confusion because we are living with our head in the sand… If we don’t know where we stand, how do we know where to start to get to where we are going? What’s worse, some don’t even know where they are going! What kind of life is this?
If we don’t know where we stand and we don’t know where we are going, how are we create an amazing life…? For what are we striving for? Where is the purpose? Where is the life built by design? How do we create our Masterpiece?
An unowned life doesn’t make sense… Not for nothing this doesn’t feel so good…
So, let’s start by owning the starting point. This is not going to feel so good at first either for it’ll be obvious how much things are not going as you’d prefer, and you created these results so far… But you know what, it’s ok to feel like crap about this because it is crap. Just don’t beat yourself up over it as you didn’t know any better, or couldn’t do any better with who you were then…
See that’s the trick, to create a better version of your life the better version of you needs to come out to play… Your job is to Become your Best Self, for this is how you create your Best Life. Take that to the bank! LOL
…Sit with being extremely unhappy with what you created so far, feel uncomfortable, feel the unease, feel the pain, feel the anger… Sit in the gap… For that’s all it actually is… (Smile. We’ll crack this!)
The next step is to forgive yourself, and never blame those around you…, for what’s happened so far… Start clearing and letting go… Cleanse…
Keep on clearing – get rid of anything you are tolerating… Anything that doesn’t float your boat. Anything that’s an aggravation, inefficient, painful, torturous, a joy kill, etc… This is a great Summer Project by the way.
Feel the feelings that come up, and address the reactions, from yourself and others, as they come up… Don’t push stuff down, shrug it off, dismiss it or keep tolerating it. It’s time to uplevel!
This is probably the most important step. If you give up too quickly or numb yourself through the process…, you won’t get over the hump. You haven’t achieved the tipping point… Keep going. Be present, be persistent, be consistent, stay the course… It pays off, I promise.
Finally, as you go through this, make sure you are super kind, gentle, tender and loving towards yourself… Have compassion for your old self… Appreciate all it was capable of doing and being with the limited resources it had… Now, looking back give yourself credit for all the awesomeness created so far. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a gold star!
This is a powerful exercise in allowing You 2.0 to emerge and come out to play. In allowing yourself to Become your Best Self… This is so good…
Now there is room for the new… Now you get to show up differently, not white-knuckling and drawing for self-discipline… Now there is room for more energy, for flow, for new Habits. This is how you become a High Performer and the Master of your life!
ASSIGNMENT: Decide you want to make a shift and Become the Master of your life. Decide you want to create your Best Life!
Step1- Own where you are at: Take stock of all main areas of your life and rate them as to how satisfied you are in each. Be truthful!
Step2- Forgive yourself for the status quo: Feel the sucky feeling that comes with the reality of things…
Step3- Be kind and compassionate to yourself: Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come with what you had
Step4- Become the Master of your life, create your Best Life: Create new/better Wellness, Connection and Success Habits!
Taking charge, shifting, transforming and creating your Best Life doesn’t have to be impossible. It can be a little challenging, but then so worth it in the end… Take on the challenge and start creating awesomeness today!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I say we focus on really enjoying the next two months and getting ourselves ready for weather what’s coming in the fall. Are you with me?
What does this type of getting ready mean for you? For me it means:
Maintaining and upleveling my Self-Care Practice for great health, wellness, fitness, and vitality
Clearing the decks of minutiae and distracting miscellaneous noise
Wrapping up any unfinished lingering tasks and current projects
Putting in place and/or upleveling whatever support I need…
Nurturing and further developing myself for Alignment, and increased inspiration, motivation, strength, stamina, bandwidth, courage, creativity…
Dreaming, brainstorming and planning for what’s next…
I use Summers as major regroup points and as inspiration time… This is when I usually set up the next big project for the year… There is less grind, more sun and fun during this season. The perfect recipe for innovating and creating…
I get that this Summer is different than our usual and that we are in really tough times… But, remember what we focus on grows, what we resist persists, and we create what we think… So, let’s use these concepts to our advantage…
Let’s not focus on what’s wrong, let’s focus on the opportunities.
Let’s focus on what you need to do and how you need to Be to create your amazing new normal, your New World… If you are tired don’t quit, just rest… It’s Summer after all!
At the beginning of the year, I wrote about change being in the air and about starting a New Era… And, boy, what a New Era we are starting… The thing here is how do we want to instrumentally be part of something new, and not be mere passive bystanders. How can we be progressive in our own lives so that collectively we catapult into the Reconstruction…?
What does that mean for you? How have you been doing your life? What would a progressive approach to it mean for you?
This could take on the form of:
Establishing radical new health and wellness habits
Enriching your self-care practice
Decluttering your whole life
Upleveling your Mindset
Addressing your negativity bias and limiting beliefs
Increasing your personal ownership
Setting effective boundaries
Having a voice
Really meeting your needs
Having the difficult conversation(s)
Making amends
Showering your loved ones with love
Rocking consistent Date Nights
Treating your partner as the most important person in your life
Increasing your physical intimacy and your repertoire
Automating the minutia tasks in your life
Outsourcing tasks that are a waste of your genius
Actually putting your genius and Gift to work
Taking on your mission, living by your purpose
Influencing through love and connection…
Note, we can’t be progressive with our actions if we are not progressive with our thoughts…
How do you need to wake yourself up and step it up? Now is the time to set up your foundation and lay down the groundwork.
We are creating history, make sure your’s rocks!
ASSIGNMENT: Make a commitment to not be a victim of the current circumstances…
Select what you want to focus on improving this summer to set yourself up for an amazing Autumn
Flesh out your choice into bite-size tasks, recurring tasks/appointments, and measurable milestones
Take your first action towards this plan today!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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