What is the key to an awesome day? Yes, we can say that all kinds of good things happening to us would make the day awesome. But I dare challenge that notion as we don’t want to be at the mercy of good things happening randomly to us for us to have an awesome day. When good things happen, let’s of course enjoy them and be grateful for them. But let’s not hang our hat on that. Let’s instead create our awesome day- become the of Master your day! As usual, the key is to own your day…
I’ve covered this concept from the idea of Designing and Owning our day:
These are all tactics that give us more and more control of the make-up of our day, that keep us in Alignment and flowing, that keep us focused and seamlessly cranking. These are tactics that empower us in creating awesome days, and ultimately an awesome life as life is but an accumulation of days…
We run into trouble when we don’t first take the time to Design our day and fill it with all the things that contribute to it being awesome. We run into trouble when we don’t have the right mindset to really own our day…
We run into trouble when we don’t have the right mindset to implement our design. When we don’t have the right mindset to be always improving our design and tweaking our implementation. When we don’t have the right mindset to be persistent and dedicated in striving for excellence and striving for the gold. When we don’t have the right mindset to drink the kool-aid, to be believers, to have Faith that we can create and have what we desire…
So, today’s angle is slightly different by focusing on owning our day by owning more how we look at things, how we own our mindset… This is mega powerful!
As you can imagine because of my line of work I come across many stories on a daily basis of how people look at the world and how they experience it. It is so very interesting to have two individuals go through the same event or together be part of a situation, and yet they have very different experiences…
Our experience is influenced by who we are and how we choose to experience things… We can be at the mercy of our unruly mind… We can look at something as the glass half-full or half-empty… We can let our usual limited lens color the whole experience…
And yes, we can choose. We can tame our mind. We can train ourselves how to think better. We can reprogram our operating system.
The are several layers of work that can be done here to become an expert at minding your mind and better owning how you look at things… In taking charge of your mind and how you experience things, you are better able to fully own your day and become the Master of it. No longer will you be at the mercy of blowing with the wind!
-Tame your mind – Teaching your mind how to get quiet and increasing your awareness, not allowing run-away trains or adding wood to your fire, taking charge of having a clutter free mind… For starters, this involves embracing a mindfulness practice… Meditation doesn’t have to be hard…
-Think more positive thoughts – Focusing on what worked, went well or what you liked, finding the silver-lining, identifying built-in opportunities, noticing growth places, embracing the lesson to be learned. For starters, this involves creating good thought-habits…
-Clean your dirty thinking – Identifying your thought patterns and addressing any distortions you indulge, and hugely important – taking ownership or responsibility for all the results in your life… No more blaming, pointing fingers or making excuses! For starters, this requires you set more effective boundaries for yourself…
-Edit your go-to scripts – Becoming aware of the running stories you tell yourself about yourself, your partner, the world… And, addressing the underlying unresolved wounds, pains, issues or such that still has a hold on you and taints your lens… For starters, this involves identifying the theme of what rents space in your head…
-Reprogram your limiting believes – Identifying the fears holding you back and the blueprint of your life and removing their hold on you. For starters, this requires building courage and increasing vulnerability…
Embracing these provides a more empowered approach to how you look and choose to experience your days, and your life… Once you own your mind, you own your day. Owning your day allows you to have a more peaceful, harmonious, joyful, creative, productive, connected and happy life!
Let’s get better at Owning ourselves!
ASSIGNMENT: Decide which of these 5 types of mindset resetting makes the most sense for you right now.
-Note, there is a saying, “New Level, New Devil”. So, even if you’ve done some of this work before it might need to be revisited…
-Also, if you’ve been going through challenging times, you might be raw, triggered or just got dirty… It’s part of the Human Experience after all…
Be open minded about what you need, leave arrogance to the side. This is for you. Be truthful and own what you need… There is no shame in having to do this work or having to revisit this work. If anything, kudos to you for being here and investing in your personal-relational development.
-Tame your mind
-Think more positive thoughts
-Clean your dirty thinking
-Edit your go-to scripts
-Reprogram your limiting
Select the one that resonates the most and make a commitment to playing with the tactic until you feel the reset… You will notice a difference in your brain, in your mood, in your thinking habits… And, you will notice a difference in the results you get in your life…
Start owning your mind more, start owning your day more, start becoming the Master of your day and life…
What are you striving for when you are in the pursuit of Balance in your life? Do you have a visual of a scale perfectly balanced in the middle? Are you looking to work 9-5 and then you are OFF? Are you looking to break down your day into thirds: sleep, work, live? What is balance? I believe striving for balance means finding an equilibrium in our life that is satisfying to us… That honors who we are and what we are about… This is what I call Work-Life Integration…
Work-Life Integration means you intentionally go about your life in a way that pleases you. If you choose to work 100 hours per week, then that’s your choice… The key is that we choose. When we don’t choose and we are at the mercy of our work, our schedule, our load, our responsibilities and our days happen by default, this is when we become resentful and our life is not satisfying…
Work-Life Integration means setting up our life so that our routine, responsibilities, commitments, projects and the rest of it are Aligned with our Purpose, what we are trying to achieve and accomplish. If we haphazardly go about our days putting out fires and not Focusing on what is important to us and our priorities, then we are wasting our energy and efforts everyday… This is when we feel zapped, blah, burnt-out and stuck.
Work-Life Integration means we operate from a cohesive approach of who we are, what we are focused on- because that is important to us and flows from our purpose, and how we go about it, so we have our Best Human Experience.
This means we are super intentional about everything in our lives, and that you maintain stellar boundaries. This means we are in charge of our life. This means we Flow with our life.
Being super intentional doesn’t mean being rigid, inflexible, or harsh. It means quite the opposite. It means you can build into your routine plenty of flexibility, transition times, margin, down-time, self-care, and the like. It just means you fully own how the day goes…
You account for tantrums and fussiness. You account for traffic. You account for your website going down. You account for a sick team member, them going on vacation, or something else out of the norm. You create enough flexibility and cushion to stay the course with ease… And, this means you can actually handle more in your life, believe it or not…
Being super intentional means you take good care of yourself so you can properly show up to your life… This means you build-in and honor consistently, a rich self-care practice. For when you are grounded and connected to yourself, to your Higher Self, you are more resourced, you have more bandwidth, you have more energy, you have more pizzazz! You are your True You!
I know life gets so crazy and hectic that we think we don’t have time to plan things out, set all this up, do the self-care, and such. That we don’t have time to do all the things required to actually have a good life… (sarcasm) We just jump in the deep end and expect to become Olympian swimmers. What we end up doing is barely keeping our head above water…
A little intentionality goes a huge way, you can start with just a few seconds…I know you have that! Even if all you do is set the intention to have an amazing day… Of course, this is the bare minimum. But hey, we start where we are at…
You might already do some wonderful things for yourself but review how they are serving you and if they need to be changed-up or upgraded… Get the most from your investment!
Here is a lovely narration that captures this theme:
When we are in Connection with our Self, with our Higher Self, operating from a resourced state, ahhh this is where you find your juice… If you have been feeling spent, this is the answer…
In connection with our Self, we find Flow in our life… Energy, vitality, motivation, inspiration, creativity, joy, abundance, harmony, ease, love… From this state we seamlessly Flow in our life between personal and work responsibilities. There is really no distinction between them… This might be a bit advanced but stay the course. It’s extremely satisfying to find this equilibrium…
Start where you are at and keep striving for more intentionality and Connection with your Self…
Keep striving for Being in your life…
Before you know it, you are experiencing True Work-Life Integration, Life-Flow…
ASSIGNMENT: Add a Wellness Habit as part of your Self-care Practice in your daily routine that helps you Connect with your Self…
This is it! Connect to your Self and feel the magic in your life…
As we are transitioning into Back2School and the Busy Season, we are to step up our game to keep up with the faster pace, fuller schedules, and additional demands. And, as we are trying to rescue what’s left of 2020… Yet, we are going into the season already exhausted, depleted, and burnt out.
Our surge capacity lasted only so long… Now we have to recharge ourselves to beat this draggy feeling and to turn this thing around. The key is in cultivating resilience.
I’m in love with the word Cultivate. We can use it for anything we are working on, and it’s gentle but yet powerful and sturdy. As I participate in all the things in my life, I hear the struggle people are having with their energy, mood and wellbeing. What is troubling is that they are still focusing on what is happening out there, where we have no control. Where we end up feeling even more zapped…
The key is to focus internally, to generate energy from within… This is how we cultivate resilience. And, the secret to cultivating resilience is to taking charge of the flow of our day – in owning our day… This is how we generate loads of energy, larger capacity, and broader bandwidth… Trust me, I’ve been called the energy bunny once or twice in my life. LOL This is how we increase our wellness and happiness…
This is How we create What we desire, our successful relationship and meaningful life – our Best Life.
The secret to cultivating resilience is in your daily routine. There is no magic pill to take, unground cult to join or a move to the Tibetan Mountains required for you to feel and do great in your life. It is actually quite simple, just requires a bit of focus and intentionality…
Creating our daily routine is an opportunity and a responsibility. Most people have a very vague approach to their day- they might choose a wake-up time and get themselves to whatever commitment they have for the day, then get haphazardly sucked into that commitment for a chunk of time, to then stumble into their evening, dinner and night time.
They hustle throughout the day, they lose time, they don’t get their priorities completed and they don’t feel accomplished, at ease, happy and connected throughout the day and as it winds down… There is no joy or inspiration.
But it absolutely doesn’t have to be this way. You can for sure have more energy, be in the flow, have inspiration, motivation and creativity day in and day out… You can accomplish anything with gusto. You can enjoy your self, your loved ones and your life!
Again, it just takes a little bit of focus and intentionality in designing, implementing and honoring a daily routine that serves and supports you and your dreams.
Here are 5 Significant Factors to consider when Designing, and tweaking, your Daily Routine:
1- Your daily routine starts the night before! Do a brain dump of all the noise running through your head, think of 3 things you are grateful for from the day, identify your top priority for the next day, go to sleep a bit earlier than your usual
2- Choose an earlier time than your usual to get up in the morning, don’t snooze – just get up!
3- Use the extra time in the morning to enrich your Self-care Practice (hugely important!). Have it include any form and combination you like of meditation practice, exercise, journaling, and learning. It doesn’t have to take long and create stress to get this in. Any investment in yourself pays huge dividends. This is the key – you have to invest in yourself!
4- Go into the rest of the day with the Intention to stay focused and stick with your plan/routine. Plan out your days to include focus time to crank on your priority, transition and margin times to flow with ease and stay present and connected to yourself and others, bio/physical needs time – including having nutritious foods following from your diet choice, and to mindfully transition into evening time.
5- Have an enriching evening routine to tend to your personal life and intentionally wrap up the day
Each of these items can be as rich as you’d like them to be. The key is to keep the framework simple yet strong, and to work it with focus and intentionality. You can add Wellness, Connection and Success Habitsin there to flow with ease and create the results you want.
If you do this, there is no way that you won’t feel well and increase your resilience… Get working it, get cultivating!
ASSIGNMENT: Review how you are currently doing your days and identify your weak points when compared to the Best Life Daily Routine™ formula. Select the area that zaps you the most or doesn’t support you the best and focus on rehabilitating and sprucing up this area. Go all in, change that thing up! This can be a bit unsettling at first but pull off the band-aid and commit to making a change. Hang in there and you’ll soon be seeing amazing results!
Hey, I say you fully go for it. What are you waiting for to create your Best Life? You can do it now!!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Often times we say we want to do such and such, make this change, implement a new habit or routine, yet we don’t follow through or stick with it. This is because we are grabbing ideas out of thin air as they sound cool or as a result of a frustration.
The impulsive nature of this approach almost guarantees we won’t stick with the idea. Regardless of how ingenious and awesome it is. To make changes and create what we want, we have to be driven by our Values.
Usually we are not aware of our true values and what is really important to us. We go about our life by default, putting things in it by chance, haphazardly, and on whims. What happens is that we end up filling up our days with things that are not that important, that create noise, that don’t move the needle and that at the end of the day are actually detrimental to creating our Best Life.
We end up with jammed packed calendars and agendas of things and commitments that don’t give us much satisfaction, reward or make an actual difference in our lives. We end up squandering our time, energy, bandwidth and sometimes even financial resources. We run ourselves ragged and don’t make a dent in creating what we desire,if we even own what we desire…
The key to creating what we desire, living our Best Life, having our Best Human Experience, has to do with owning our What, what we desire, and owning our Why. Our Why influences our Values and our values drive our desires, our dreams, and our goals. But when we are operating blind, we set up our world by default creating a big gap between our current experience and our dreams. We don’t focus on the right things!
When we operate blind and unaware of our Why and Values, everything gets skewed. Our focus, how we operate, our dreams and our goals are off. How are we to create our Best Life and have our Best Human Experience, if we are totally going about life the wrong way?
If we are chasing the wrong dreams and setting up the wrong goals, and that is if we even do that and don’t live completely by default… How are we to set up our days to really support us if we are sleep-living, not awakened…?
Identifying our Values is extremely important as they serve as a filter in our life helping us stay focused on what is truly important to us and operating in Alignment. Life is then more peaceful, joyous and abundant… This is why I’m very intentional at operating from my Values, personally and professionally. Here are mine:
All the things that are important to me and the way I operate are captured with these 5 Core Values… In a nutshell:
Connection to higher power, self, family and other loved ones, community and the world at large.
Personal, professional and business development and growth.
Fully accountable, proactive, dependable, intentional and responsible to others.
Honorable, truthful, trustworthy, loyal, fair, and transparent.
Highest level of wellness, performance, efficiency, aesthetics, value provision, and Service.
These help me make decisions in all areas of my life including things like relating, commitments, activities, projects, etc. Values are not mutually exclusive, static or live in a vacuum. I like to look at these as enhancing each, so I experience mine as Leveraged Values™.
Hey, we are “cooking on gas” now (love that phrase!).
Once you have identified your Core Values, review your life from this lens. How does it measure up? What is out of whack? How are you operating out of Alignment? This creates significant dissonance for us that can lead to Mental Health issues along with a very dissatisfying life if not addressed…
So, let’s get you more Aligned… Now is the time to design the life you want flowing from your Why and your Values… These should inform everything you allow to take up space and time in your life…
I love to teach Life Design through creating our daily routine to fully honor and support us. For what is life but an accumulation of days… Our job is to live intentionally and make each day amazing!
To create our Best Life and our Best Human Experience, it’s incredibly important to Connect to our Why and identify our Core Values letting them guide how we live…
ASSIGNMENT: Use the right fuel to better drive your life!
Have your Why handy
Identify your5 Core Values
Review your life for any dissonance and misalignment, and make a list of everything that is out-of-whack
Pick the one thing that is the most out-of-whack and address it immediately
Playing with this concept is so enlightening, liberating and empowering. Living an Aligned life is key to creating Life-Work Integration, and living our Best Life and Best Human Experience…
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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