Who says being in a committed relationship is hard? Though relationships can be challenging they don’t have to be if we are intentional about how we go about creating our successful relationship.
There are some key ingredients that we need to bring to our relationship for it to be gratifying and successful.
Research shows that successful couples demonstrate some key ingredients that we’d be remiss not to emulate. And, according to John Gottman, renowned relationship researcher, the opposite is also true. There are key characteristics that when found in a relationship are strong predictors of break-up or divorce.
Committed relationships, marriage, are special, delicate, and very important to our overall wellbeing. They are the pillar of our society as they stabilize the family unit, and are the strongest influence on our children.
This is why it’s my mission to cater to the wellbeing of couples. After 20 years of working with couples and helping them create their successful relationship, I embraced a longtime dream of hosting a relationship podcast. Which I’m proud to launch today!
Today’s video is special as it’s a video of my first podcast episode- I’m so excited to launch our new podcast…
In this episode I interview a longtime friend and colleague, Carole Cullen who is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Together we geek out about a few secret ingredients that make for a successful relationship.
We talk about 4 key ingredients:
1~ Emotional Intimacy
2~ Communication
3~ Quality Time
4~ Shared Goals & Values
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship.
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🌟ABOUT OUR GUEST:
Carole Cullen is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, AAMFT Clinical Supervisor and public speaker. She is a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist and Emotionally Focused Therapist specializing in working with couples in crisis. She has a group practice in Wake Forest, NC where she helps couples learn practical tools to reconnect with their partner and create a lasting love. You can find her at https://mytherapistnc.org/.
Let’s ready ourselves for a new season this year, and possibly a new season of life… There is so much happening in the world at large, in this country, and in most of our lives as usual… And time seems to be moving faster… Making our lives more intense and challenging. I don’t know about you, but I already have a special relationship with time and don’t need for it to get more complicated. For us to have a better go if it, we have to shift our approach to how we create our relationship and our life…
Instead of focusing on all the doing and all the to-dos, extending ourselves to the limit and to exhaustion, and wondering how do we get our partner to support us and help us more, the key is a totally different approach…
Now, this new approach doesn’t add more work to your already full plate. It actually reduces it significantly.
You might be wondering what is this magic I speak of.
What I’m suggesting is so simple, it’s almost ridiculous. But not to be dismissed because of its simplicity. At the end of the day, though it’s simple it might still be challenging. And this challenge will serve you infinitely more than going at things the usual way…
I’m talking about Creating through Connected Collaboration™… Let me explain.
When we approach any interaction from a place of curiosity and openmindedness, with warmth, vulnerability, authenticity, and a willingness to share airtime, then we are able to join in a collaborative spirit… When we connect deeply and meaningfully, when we have shared values, vision, and goals, when we play with them from our heart, then we are able to create anything we desire. These things might be the challenge themselves, but so fulfilling to master. This is where our attention is needed most…
Embracing a softer approachto creation with connecting vs grinding is the shift that’s in order…
This allows for a smooth creation of the relationship and life we want. It allows us to collaborate, to cocreate with ease, to manifest with splendor. It allows for a grander experience…
Shifting to this approach immediately allows for new beginnings and experiences. This is how everything gets done with ease- things fall off our to do, get streamlined, get more support and are just a joy to tackle.
All the doing and grinding no longer give the results and satisfaction we seek. The outcomes and fulfillment, including the amazing experience along the way, get created through connection, that makes collaboration for manifestation a piece of cake.
So, don’t let the seemingly crazy world out there get you- you don’t have to join in all the doing, grinding, and fighting. Elevate yourself and your approach and watch how seamlessly you create the relationship and life you love…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
What is your tradition for wrapping up the year? What kind of bow do you like to put on it? Have you acknowledged all your accomplishments and experiences you’ve had this year? Have you wrapped up anything you don’t want to carry into the New Year? What else are you leaving behind? Do you have any other special transition practices to glide into the New Year? How are you having your Future Self’s back? How are you resetting and realigning for your New Beginning? Now is the time to give all this some thought to have a magnificent and smoother transition into the New Year…
And what does resetting and realigning mean?
~ They mean that you revisit what who you are and how you become more your true self… ~ They mean that you revisit what kind of partner you want to be and what kind of relationship you want to create… ~ They mean that you revisit what kind of lifestyle you want to live and what kind of life you want to create…
Tall order? Maybe, but this doesn’t have to be intimidating. You can focus only on the area that resonates most for you if you want to streamline your process. The key here is that what we focus on grows- or becomes, or we create… By giving attention to what we desire, not what we don’t desire mind you, we energize it and make it so… I know, not very scientific but I’ll spare you those insights for the sake of getting to the crux of it here for you.
Our Signature Planning Processcan help you get all this under your belt. A key concept as you do your planning is that it requires some dreaming. This is the fun part in my opinion, aside from setting up the actual strategyof course… (Yes, I can be nerdy- don’t judge me! LOL) Do dare to get in touch with your big dreams. Go big, why not? What would light up your heart should that thing come to be?
Remember, that accomplishing some part of a big dream is a lot more that accomplishing all of a small one or nothing from not having one… Don’t let your dream, or your partner’s intimidate you. The other thing is to then find a way of making those a shared dream. This is where the juice is- togetherness, meaning, purpose, synergy, joy, happiness… Have fun with this!
In today’s video, I share about Element 5 of our Successful Relationship Strategy™- Collaboration & Partnership, where we align with our partner to become a strong partnership and to create the life of our dreams…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Some people love managing their money, others dread it. And this is usually the case for couples… One partner is great at doing the accounting and managing the finances, while the other prefers to bury their head in the sand. Sound familiar? There are a lot of reasons for why this happens ranging from subconscious programming around worthiness and deservingness to finding numbers, spreadsheets, and related details just too tedious. The thing is, regardless of our preference, finances still need to be managed and they need to be managed collaboratively if we are in a relationship.
Money is a very important aspect of our adult life that provides security and awesomeness for us now and in our future… And it is up to us to find a way to make the best out of our money management in our relationship.
The key is to have awareness into our own relationship with money and money programming that might affect its management, and to have insight and knowledge into our partner’s as well.
The partners should know about each other’s financial histories, money management styles and strengths, and overall relationship with money. This is especially important information if your relationship is fairly new, and you are increasing levels of commitment…
Full transparency and accountability are a must for the couple’s healthy financial life. Regardless of what financial plans and systems they put in place, the key is to device these respectfully, collaboratively, and intentionally to ensure a secure financial future.
The partners might have different expectations, wishes, preferences, and desires about their finances and their future. But as with anything else in the relationship, this has to do with getting on the same page and working together to achieve shared goals.
When money impasses are encountered, please know this is usually not about the money itself. This has to do with your personal programming and your relationship dynamics. To move forward, focus on addressing the underlying patterns and don’t get stuck on the details of the situation and the circumstances. And mind the meaning you are assigning to what’s happening!
This is why Christine Luken, our Podcast Guest in our latest episode, shares that money is emotional. She offers wonderful insights on how to manage money in your relationship. Check out its video below!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Being thankful and grateful are qualities, strengths, and states that go beyond the month of November and Thanksgiving (the US holiday). These make a difference in the experience of our life. People tend to look outside themselves and to external factors to feel good and have a happy life. They believe that happiness is dependent on their circumstances… But time and again researchers, scholars and thought-leaders have shared that happiness is an internal state and a choice. One that can be cultivated and nurtured…
Happiness, life satisfaction, and longevity are all impacted by gratitude, connection, and purpose… These are the ingredients for creating our long, healthy, and happy life… A good life. Our Best Life.
~ Purpose is simply pursuing what is meaningful to us, that keeps us engaged and having a zest for life… We are always in-charge of our own internal world assigning meaning to everything in our external one… We have a choice as to what meaning we assign things and how we choose to look at everything, and what we choose to pursue. As exemplified by the work of Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist that developed his theory while a concentration camp prisoner during WWII in his book Man’s Search for Meaning.
~ Connection to loved ones give us security and a sense of belonging… It gives our life further meaning and purpose… This is what keeps us going and what we live for… Robert Waldinger explains this in his TED Talk about what makes a good life describing the longest study on happiness.
~ A Gratitude Practice makes a big difference inour overall Happiness– Shawn Achor lists the key ingredients of this practice in his talks. This is what I’m calling embracing a #GratitudeAttitude. Which is looking for the good in things, focusing on the positives, seeing the blessings, appreciating the beauty in others and so on, adding dimension to our experience. It puts us in a different frame of mind. It raises our vibration. It transcends the minutiae and the mundane…
How about we take the pursuit of happiness seriously… And, by this I mean we take it easy in our approach to life and focus on the things that are actually important to creating the life we desire… Pursuing what gives us meaning including creating a successful relationship with our partner and minding our internal world including developing a #gratitudeattitude…
Let’s take being grateful to new heights by increasing our appreciations, acknowledgements and thanks-giving this month and going forward…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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