As we witness our country get ravished by this pandemic, and what seems the worst is yet to come, we have to prepare to weather the storm. To ride the wave… To make sure we can hang on to hope, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and to look for the silver lining… I know it’s very challenging to do that as things get worse.
Nonetheless, this is our chance to show what we are made of… This is our chance to overcome the impossible. This is our chance to actually not just merely adjust, but to figure out how to Thrive, influencing, having an impact, making a difference… This is it. This is when the road splits in your life, and you decide which way to go…
Will you be a victim, or will you be a leader? The choice is yours.
There is such a large spectrum of how people are impacted by our historic circumstance, that I will not even attempt to address the whole spectrum. Please know that I know my audience, so my message is targeted to you, and not what is happening for everyone else… Please read with that in mind, and don’t worry about how it fits for others… Deal?
Having said that, I know that you rock your life. I know that you influence others in, and with, your life. I know that you are smart, strong, resourceful and already in a position of leadership (whether officially or by the mere fact that you are awesome).
I know you have a lot on your plate and feel very overwhelmed at times. I know that you are doing the best you can, and sometimes lose sight of the road. I know that you can feel intimidated by our current world circumstance and might be feeling at a loss, hopeless or stuck. I also know that you will figure this out and use for the greater good, somehow…
That’s the plan we are on. Ok? Please keep remembering that you are awesome, that you have weathered other storms, and that you came out better because of it… This is actually the beauty in life, that we tend to miss when in panic and missing the forest for the tree…
The beauty in life is figuring out how to beat the challenges, and making them work to our advantage, for our richer Human Experience… Don’t lose sight of this! Tattoo it on your forehead if you have to! LOL For this is the key!!
So, then what is your life about? What is your challenge? What do you have to crack? Seriously, I mean business. Let’s do this, let’s crack the code. Let’s choose the other split on the road… This is it! What is your lesson? What do you have to conquer? What is your Achilles heel?
What is the thing that once it’s cracked you can smooth sail? If you don’t know, this is your homework until you get it… Period. This will make all the difference in your life… I promise… No more taking it easy. Are you in, or are you out?
You can’t waffle, that’s for living a mediocre life. If you are serious about having your Best Life, your Best Human Experience, then own this already. No more buffering… No more sitting by the sidelines… No more waiting to see what happens… Yes?
What does this mean for you?How will you tackle the code you need to crack? What will you do differently? How will you break the habit of being you? What will you do to become You 2.0?
One way to crack the code is to address your negativity bias, your limiting believes and your fears… This reprograms your operating system so you can more easily and successfully tackle the business of life and live through your Gifts… No more self-sabotage, no more buffering, no more wasting time, no more spinning wheels, no more barking up the wrong tree or climbing up the wrong ladder. No more missing the forest for the tree.
It’s time to Transcend the petty, the small, the noise, the nonsense. It’s time to embrace your magnificence…
You can do this! This is your chance to ride the wave into the New World…
ASSIGNMENT: Unfortunately, unless we enthusiastically embrace a personal development lifestyle, we walk around with really old and glitching programming that undermines us at every turn and holds us back from our Best Life.
>Today, make a list of all the scripts, stories, fears, worries, and limiting beliefs you allow to rent space in your head.
>During the next couple of days, stay on the lookout for any old automatic thinking you might have missed. Catch yourself allowing any of your programming to take over…
>Next, redo your list outlining the reality about what you wrote, not your perception, habitual thinking or chip on your shoulder version… The more honest you are the more you’ll deconstruct this… Review your list and notice how different it feels…
>Going forward, catch yourself in your old habitual thinking and replace it with the reality-based version… Ta-da!
Become obsessed about cleaning your thinking, your Best Life depends on it!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Here is the thing, a lot of people don’t know how to be High Performers, the Masters of their lives. Most people don’t know how to create the most from their lives by increasing productivity, creativity, peacefulness, joy, love and connection… They don’t know how to stay healthy, have increased vitality, and feel amazing most of the time… Actually, they might know but haven’t learned the self-discipline to pursue this with gusto for great results…
I know self-discipline can be challenging, especially when we have a lot going on. It can take insurmountable amounts of willpower when we might already be in a depleted state. This is when we end up feeling stuck, hopeless, depressed, anxious and other goodies.
The key is not to push yourself, beat yourself, shame yourself, or numb yourself… The key is to show up better with less effort!
When we think about our Best Life and then compare it to our current life, this might feel discouraging…
The first step is to own where we are at. A lot of times we get stuck, spin our wheels, and get paralyzed in confusion because we are living with our head in the sand… If we don’t know where we stand, how do we know where to start to get to where we are going? What’s worse, some don’t even know where they are going! What kind of life is this?
If we don’t know where we stand and we don’t know where we are going, how are we create an amazing life…? For what are we striving for? Where is the purpose? Where is the life built by design? How do we create our Masterpiece?
An unowned life doesn’t make sense… Not for nothing this doesn’t feel so good…
So, let’s start by owning the starting point. This is not going to feel so good at first either for it’ll be obvious how much things are not going as you’d prefer, and you created these results so far… But you know what, it’s ok to feel like crap about this because it is crap. Just don’t beat yourself up over it as you didn’t know any better, or couldn’t do any better with who you were then…
See that’s the trick, to create a better version of your life the better version of you needs to come out to play… Your job is to Become your Best Self, for this is how you create your Best Life. Take that to the bank! LOL
…Sit with being extremely unhappy with what you created so far, feel uncomfortable, feel the unease, feel the pain, feel the anger… Sit in the gap… For that’s all it actually is… (Smile. We’ll crack this!)
The next step is to forgive yourself, and never blame those around you…, for what’s happened so far… Start clearing and letting go… Cleanse…
Keep on clearing – get rid of anything you are tolerating… Anything that doesn’t float your boat. Anything that’s an aggravation, inefficient, painful, torturous, a joy kill, etc… This is a great Summer Project by the way.
Feel the feelings that come up, and address the reactions, from yourself and others, as they come up… Don’t push stuff down, shrug it off, dismiss it or keep tolerating it. It’s time to uplevel!
This is probably the most important step. If you give up too quickly or numb yourself through the process…, you won’t get over the hump. You haven’t achieved the tipping point… Keep going. Be present, be persistent, be consistent, stay the course… It pays off, I promise.
Finally, as you go through this, make sure you are super kind, gentle, tender and loving towards yourself… Have compassion for your old self… Appreciate all it was capable of doing and being with the limited resources it had… Now, looking back give yourself credit for all the awesomeness created so far. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a gold star!
This is a powerful exercise in allowing You 2.0 to emerge and come out to play. In allowing yourself to Become your Best Self… This is so good…
Now there is room for the new… Now you get to show up differently, not white-knuckling and drawing for self-discipline… Now there is room for more energy, for flow, for new Habits. This is how you become a High Performer and the Master of your life!
ASSIGNMENT: Decide you want to make a shift and Become the Master of your life. Decide you want to create your Best Life!
Step1- Own where you are at: Take stock of all main areas of your life and rate them as to how satisfied you are in each. Be truthful!
Step2- Forgive yourself for the status quo: Feel the sucky feeling that comes with the reality of things…
Step3- Be kind and compassionate to yourself: Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come with what you had
Step4- Become the Master of your life, create your Best Life: Create new/better Wellness, Connection and Success Habits!
Taking charge, shifting, transforming and creating your Best Life doesn’t have to be impossible. It can be a little challenging, but then so worth it in the end… Take on the challenge and start creating awesomeness today!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I say we focus on really enjoying the next two months and getting ourselves ready for weather what’s coming in the fall. Are you with me?
What does this type of getting ready mean for you? For me it means:
Maintaining and upleveling my Self-Care Practice for great health, wellness, fitness, and vitality
Clearing the decks of minutiae and distracting miscellaneous noise
Wrapping up any unfinished lingering tasks and current projects
Putting in place and/or upleveling whatever support I need…
Nurturing and further developing myself for Alignment, and increased inspiration, motivation, strength, stamina, bandwidth, courage, creativity…
Dreaming, brainstorming and planning for what’s next…
I use Summers as major regroup points and as inspiration time… This is when I usually set up the next big project for the year… There is less grind, more sun and fun during this season. The perfect recipe for innovating and creating…
I get that this Summer is different than our usual and that we are in really tough times… But, remember what we focus on grows, what we resist persists, and we create what we think… So, let’s use these concepts to our advantage…
Let’s not focus on what’s wrong, let’s focus on the opportunities.
Let’s focus on what you need to do and how you need to Be to create your amazing new normal, your New World… If you are tired don’t quit, just rest… It’s Summer after all!
At the beginning of the year, I wrote about change being in the air and about starting a New Era… And, boy, what a New Era we are starting… The thing here is how do we want to instrumentally be part of something new, and not be mere passive bystanders. How can we be progressive in our own lives so that collectively we catapult into the Reconstruction…?
What does that mean for you? How have you been doing your life? What would a progressive approach to it mean for you?
This could take on the form of:
Establishing radical new health and wellness habits
Enriching your self-care practice
Decluttering your whole life
Upleveling your Mindset
Addressing your negativity bias and limiting beliefs
Increasing your personal ownership
Setting effective boundaries
Having a voice
Really meeting your needs
Having the difficult conversation(s)
Making amends
Showering your loved ones with love
Rocking consistent Date Nights
Treating your partner as the most important person in your life
Increasing your physical intimacy and your repertoire
Automating the minutia tasks in your life
Outsourcing tasks that are a waste of your genius
Actually putting your genius and Gift to work
Taking on your mission, living by your purpose
Influencing through love and connection…
Note, we can’t be progressive with our actions if we are not progressive with our thoughts…
How do you need to wake yourself up and step it up? Now is the time to set up your foundation and lay down the groundwork.
We are creating history, make sure your’s rocks!
ASSIGNMENT: Make a commitment to not be a victim of the current circumstances…
Select what you want to focus on improving this summer to set yourself up for an amazing Autumn
Flesh out your choice into bite-size tasks, recurring tasks/appointments, and measurable milestones
Take your first action towards this plan today!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
There is a multitude of ways in which we don’t embrace our Freedom… We can certainly imprison, subjugate and de-self ourselves with how we choose to live our lives.
We pigeonhole ourselves through our mindset, perspectives, habits, lifestyle, job, career, marriage, home, community, religion, appearance, everything… We don’t realize that everything about us is a choice… Everything about us is a decision we made, or didn’t make, along the way…
We have a choice in everything about us… We just don’t usually look at ourselves and our life in this way… Every choice we make has an impact and a result in our life. Everything we think, feel, say, do, etc. is a choice, is created by us…
The life you have, you created and continue to create… Don’t shoot the messenger!
It is always striking to look at actors in movies and how they can change their appearance to be somebody completely different… They could have chosen to look like that for themselves in real life, or anything else they desire. We all have the same ability. The way we dress, how we do our hair, how we choose to speak, how we interact, etc. these are all choices.
Do I have certain genes, biology, temperament, and the like? Of course, I do. But I choose how to use what I have… And, I can make all kinds of different choices with what I have…
The way our life is – how we place furniture in our home, our daily routine, who we interact with, what we work on, what we have for dinner – we choose ongoingly… We can make different choices on anything at any time…
There was a morning last week when my husband came to me, and in a conspirational tone asked me, Did you see Vanessa’s (our daughter) room yet? Literally overnight, she rearranged her whole room even readied her fish tank for a new undertaking. She moved her bed, packed bookshelves, rugs and other furniture without making a peep.
He was floored by her ability to seamlessly carryout this project and create a whole new environment. This is the same kid who takes a week to get a load of laundry done. LOL
We can create whatever we want, whenever we want. We don’t have to suck up the status quo. We don’t have to have short or long hair. Be under- or over-weight. Have this or that career, or business, or home or anything for that matter. We created and continue to create our life.
There is Freedom in this awareness, and empowerment in the owning of the concept. You can get up at 5 a.m., you can eat low-carb, you can exercise every day, you can educate yourself on whatever you want, you can be nice to your partner, you can live somewhere else, etc…
So, whatever is giving you grief, whatever is troubling you, whatever is dissatisfying, whatever is a thorn in your back you have made decisions and choices that created that, or put you in the situation that you are in… And, all those things you can do something about (yes, regardless of the pandemic!).
First, own that you created what you have, or don’t have… Check your mindset, your perspectives and what thoughts you are entertaining…
Second, start owning your life! Start by owning every single choice you make or don’t make. Start making intentional ones, that honor who you are and who you want to be. That honor who you are Becoming. That honor you Becoming your Authentic Self, your Best Self.
When we operate more and more from our Authentic Self, we are more and more in Alignment and therefore more and more Free… Whatever we choose and create from our Authentic Self will always be Inspired and right for us… It will never imprison, subjugate or de-self…
The more we own our every choice and become more Aligned, the more we have our own back and can’t go wrong… So, start with every choice, start with the small ones… Just start Liberating yourself from your own imprisonment!
ASSIGNMENT: Plan for this weekend to find a quiet time/space for yourself to sit with yourself.
In your Journal, make a list of all the Freedoms you enjoy and all the choices you make that Align with your Authentic Self
Then, make a list of all the decisions and choices you’ve made, or didn’t make, that are restricting your freedom in your life…
Finally, pick one item from the 2nd list that you will address this week. An item where you will make a better decision or choice about it. Add an event to your calendar to address your item.
Note, what comes up for you. Take a moment to sit with the discomfort. Soothe yourself with deep breaths, and let it go…
Decide how you will celebrate the courage to take that action and add that to your calendar as well… Enjoy!!
Our lives are created one choice, one decision, at a time… Make yours good!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Did you know that an important part of the Human Experience is Dreaming? And, I’m not referring about the dreaming we do when we are sleeping. Dreaming, having a vision, aspiring for something, yearning… This is what drives us forward and keeps us motivated… This is what keeps us engaged and Alive… This is where there is juice!
Have you allowed yourself to dream lately? And hey, I get that it’s hard to Dream when we are in survival mode, which unfortunately a lot of people are in right now. I’m sorry if this is you. But, this is the whole point, allowing ourselves to Dream actually sparks something that mitigates that survival, stuck, resigned, sad and hopeless state… This is actually an antidote for feeling yucky…
We can dream about anything… Engaging the imagination part of our brain is a fabulous recharging, reenergizing, and revitalizing tool. We can’t be in fear, lack, loss, stress and in creativity, imagination, and dreamy mode at the same time…
We can dream about anything… Allowing ourselves to Dream brings a tingle to our skin, a twinkle in our eyes, a surge in our heart. There is excitement, anticipation, drive, and focus that comes with dreaming. We have a target we are trying to acquire…
We can dream about anything… We can dream about our blooming garden and flowers. We can dream about new meal recipes. We can dream about hiking trails, yoga classes, or invigorating exercise routines. We can dream about Summer Plans.
We can dream about developing a new product or service. We can dream of travel, purchases, new habits. We can dream about Holiday Plans. We can dream about the New Year. We can dream about the next 3-Years, or 5, or 10, or 25 or 50. We can dream about being a centenarian. We can dream about living on Mars. We can dream about anything…
We can dream about having the most amazing relationship and strong partnership ever with our Partner… We can dream about anything… What do you like to dream about?
If you’ve been in a rut or struggling, take it slow. Start dreaming a little dream…
But do invest in Dreaming. This is the key to a living your Best Life…
To your Best Life!
ASSIGNMENT: Here is your chance to Dream… If you’ve been in a funk, you might experience some resistance to the concept. Just humor me… You can start with a tiny dream if that is easier…
Now, grab your Journal, or a way of capturing your Musings…, and have at it. Just capture everything about that Dream, dream it as if it’s already accomplished: I see beautiful blooms in my garden. I have fresh flowers in the home at all times. I enjoy the bouquet’s fragrance in the patio and the dining room. I gift others gorgeous blooms…
Notice the amazing feelings surging through you… Savor them…
Now this is the juice! This is how you inspire and motivate yourself… This is how you work on creating your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life, your Best Life!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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