You know how when you fly, they say that in case of an emergency to first put on your oxygen mask and then assist others? Well, the same concept applies to the rest of our life… We have to take care of ourselves for us to be in good shape to be in relationship with our partner, and others…
When we embrace a self-love practice, in which there is a huge component of self-care, then we activate our authentic self, we create flow, we nourish and enliven ourselves. Now this is a Best Self… This self can have amazing energy, insights, patience, compassion, creativity and all the rest to be the best partner and lover. When we are unhealthy, weak, stressed, overwhelmed, tired and such, we don’t make very good company…
~ It is our job to make sure we are healthy and well.
~ It is our job we show up with our Best Self and we be the Best Partner.
~ It is our job to make sure we continue to evolve and elevate…
Upshift…
To this end, how we do everything matters. From the moment we are aware we are awake, and we choose our first thoughts of the day, to how we wrap up our day and settle down for a good night sleep, all have an impact on our health and wellness. On how resourced we are to be able to show up with our Best Self…
When we bang around life and are noisy and scattered and tapped out, we are not fresh, available, and able to have meaningful, nourishing, and enlivening interactions. We just don’t make good company… And this is when we insist on interacting with our partner and then wonder how come we get prickly, triggered, and sucked into a less than ideal exchange or even a full-blown fight.
To be a loving partner, and create a loving relationship, we first have to give ourselves love… To have a wonderful relationship, we have to clean up our routines and habits so we can properly show up to our relationship.
How about we slow down a bit and become a lot more intentional about how we take care of ourselves? This is where having more love in our life starts.
Watch the video to learn how to uplevel your relationship with food and step up your self-care!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Are you feeling inspired and motivated yet? Or, are you feeling out of sorts and kind of blue? Are you wanting to get better traction for the New Year? It recently heard that people use January as a breather from the hectic of the prior end-of-year… I’m wondering if this is true. I haven’t found this to be so, as an intentional tactic anyway… I think that most people mean to hit the New Year running but they immediately lose oomph, or they can’t get themselves into high gear.
This ends up affecting their wellbeing, productivity, joy and even connectedness with their partner and other loved ones… Life just isn’t satisfying… It is not fun to feel out of sorts, floundering, unmotivated, overwhelmed, lost and the like…
The key to any New Beginning, reset, or just plain and simple taking charge of our life to mold it into what we desire lies in how we choose to look at life itself… It has to do with how we view ourselves in our life, how we look at our context and situation, how we look at our partner, how we look at the world and everything else that is important to us…
Yes, getting esoteric and philosophical here for a moment – don’t worry, you know I always bring it down to takeaways, practical application, and assignments… I got you!
First, we have to take the bird’s eye view of our Human Experience… Asking ourselves questions as to:
~ What is the meaning of our life? ~ What is our purpose? ~ How does our relationship play into it? ~ How is our partner our Life Partner? ~ How does our connection support our Journey? ~ What kind of life do we want to live? ~ What kind of legacy do we want to leave behind…?
Not for the faint of heart. But without the big questions how do we even know what we want to create and how to go about it? Usually, not only do we not have the answer, or thought-out answers, to these questions, but we also don’t have our back in going about creating the experience we want…
As I mature and become wiser. As I practice what I preach. As I ongoingly seek to uplevel my experience while being deeply grateful and in awe of what it already is. As I learn more and do more research. As I connect with people smarter and more learned than me. I realize how beautiful and magnificent everyone is in our Human Experience.
And, I realize that most everything boils down to Love… Don’t roll your eyes, hang in there. You’ll like this, I promise…
Everything boils down to Love…
~ The way we are treated, is a reflection of how we treat ourselves… If we don’t love ourselves and treat ourselves well (including our ongoing self-talk in our head!), we won’t receive very good treatment… ~ When we don’t feel well it usually has to do with how we’ve neglected ourselves… ~ The happiest moments in our life can be narrowed down to moments of love and connection… ~ Everything we do is primarily out of love and for our loved ones at the end of the day. ~ When we think about what kind of life we would like to have lived, I’m sure very few people would say that they would prefer to have lived it alone.
Therefore, it behooves us to start off by upleveling how we love ourselves… How we do our Self-Love Practice, and how we choose to show up in the world – including how we show up to our relationship. We can choose to be the Best Partner because we are connected with ourself, resourced, and very much brimming with love, and we can create the most amazing relationship in turn…
It all starts with the decision to want to uplevel your relationship and your life…
Watch the video to learn how to start your New Beginning!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How are you doing? Hope you are keeping the momentum from the New Year going… As I’m sure you already know, right about now people start floundering with their New Year Resolutions, Intentions and the like… Tomorrow is the 3rd Monday of the New Year and known as Blue Monday…
The end-of-year drive, the holidays merriment and the new year’s excitement all but come crashing down… This is when back to reality hits us like a ton of bricks.
This is when we realize we are not exactly where we want to be, and the New Year’s promises are quickly fading away. This is when we realize real change needs to happen and we don’t necessarily know how to make it happen. We might know what we want to change, we might even know how, but somehow, we can’t get traction…
This is when it becomes obvious that we can’t make changes with just pure willpower and desire… This is when things become bleak and we feel powerless and stuck. If you are rocking the New Year, Congratulations! Just beware that this can still hit you with a delayed impact if you are not proactively preventative…
It is challenging to get traction on the changes we want because unfortunately our brain is working against us – it doesn’t like change. We literally have brain structures to maintain homoeostasis… To keep things in the status quo. We also have our Ego protecting us from growth and change. It perceives these as a threat…
Change in our life is to the brain and ego like viruses are to our body. The defenses come out to attack any intrusion. Hence, we end up sabotaging our very efforts, wishes and desires…
The 3 main areas people usually want changes on are health, relationship and finances. If they use their genius, they might have set goals around these. Never mind mere Resolutions. 25% of people who set resolutions abandon them after 7days! Intentions and Focus Terms are great as icing on the cake, not as substitutes…
We don’t do much better with goals. Only 14% of Americans set goals, only 3% of them write them down, and only 1% of those review them daily when there is a 42% increase in goal achievement by merely setting them… This makes me sad for people’s ability to create what they want in their life…
So, if we go by these stats, it is very likely that you haven’t set goals and most likely that you haven’t written them down. Therefore, if you are serious about creating the life you want, if you are serious about not settling for a mediocre life, if you are serious about having your best human experience, then it is time to take goal setting seriously.
Seriously doesn’t mean this has to be complicated or a major production. Make it as easy as possible. Just go with the basics if you need a starting point: health, relationship and finances… You can tweak this to your heart’s desire of course, but if you make a commitment to embrace creating changes in these 3 areas you will make a significant improvement in your life…
Additionally, if we don’t want to struggle in achieving these goals, we have to make sure we don’t depend on willpower to work on these… Willpower only takes us so far and is limited… It depends on how we feel, our mood, our energy, our time, etc. If we are to achieve what we want, if we are to create the life we desire, we can’t leave it to chance…
How do we make sure we keep our goals forefront and actively work on them?
FIRST, we have to have a strong desire to achieve them. We have to have a strong Why behind them to inspire us and keep us motivated…
SECOND, we have to set ourselves up to achieve them, with structure and systems… This means we have to set up our daily life with routines around achieving these goals. And, we have to set up the routines with related Habits to automate our investment and take the effort out of it… Voila!
What do you say? Are you ready to really create the life you desire, your best life? Are you ready to set yourself up for an amazing decade? Are you ready for your best year yet? What do you say? Don’t be the majority statistic. Don’t let Blue Monday be a reality for you. Don’t let another year pass by without making a dent in creating the life you really want…
ASSIGNMENT: There is plenty of info out there on how. There are plenty of people having a say on all this. Your job is not to get more info and keep postponing your results. There is plenty on this blog anyway, even on this post alone, to help you get started… Your job is to decide you are going for it, commit to it and get started.
Here is your basic Strategy in its simplest form:
Step 1: Create 1 measurable stretch goal for your 3 life areas, with strong Whys for each
Step 2: Add 3 concrete recurring behaviors to each goal
Step 3: Integrate the recurring behaviors into your daily/weekly/monthly routine(s)
Don’t let this significant time pass you by. The sooner you plan and set your goals, the sooner you’ll start working on them, the longer you’ll have a chance to achieve them… You can rock this!
Make a commitment to no longer settle. Make a commitment to live your best life. Set yourself up to create what you desire right now. Seriously, do your Strategy now – start the week right, start the rest of your life right!
And, because we know it’s not easy to make changes on our own, we are creating some new goodies to help you with the Relationship & Connection area… Stay tuned for more details coming soon!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Strategizing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I wrote in the last issue about feeling like we are embarking in a New Era. Feels more and more like that every day. I’m so excited thinking on the fact that we are starting a whole new decade. We are at the beginning of a new huge chunk of time. It makes me dizzy to think about what this means.
To step back and think of what I’d like to create in the next 10 years of my Human Experience… Looking at this New Beginning this way is humbling, and so super Inspiring. Have you pondered similarly?
This brings me to today’s writing about Intentionally Co-Creating the life we Desire… As we start a New Year, and a New Decade!, this is the perfect time to Dream, Design, Develop, Display… Before I fully jump into the Topic, if you would allow me to invite you to work with us…
If you feel you would like support making changes, we are here for you! We can help you create the relationship and life you Desire… If you want to go for it, to rock this year and set up a stupendous decade, and are interested in working with us, why wait? You can get started on creating your awesomeness now. Why not?
Waiting for whatever to get started is just postponing what you Desire… Why do that to yourself? Let’s be nicer, kinder and more proactive in beautifully taking care of our Life this year, this decade… Yes? You can still take advantage of our super discounted 10-Session Package and get started right away… Let’s do this!
Today’s topic of Co-Creating the Life we Desire is part of the last element, Element5, in our Sequence for better implementing the Successful Couple Strategy™:
Element1 – Context & Mindset
Element2 – Communication & Alignment
Element3 – Clarity & Dynamics
Element4 – Connection & Intimacy
Element5 – Collaboration & Partnership
The Elements are fundamental and powerful in and of themselves, but this is the one where the changes being made become the most apparent, where they manifest in a variety of ways… Collaboration and Partnership are key for a thriving relationship. A relationship that is not only amazing in its own right, but creates a rippling Impact…
The state of our relationship allows the creation of our magnificent Life… Time and again in Visiting with couples it is obvious that they are stagnant, even struggling, in their life because the partners are getting in their own way and they haven’t figured out how to tap into the inherent synergy of the relationship… This is addressed through the prior Elements.
It is very challenging, a white-knuckling endeavor really, doing Life without having more fully figured out and addressed ourselves, and how we fit with our Partner… Once this piece of the puzzle fits, the rest of the puzzle just comes together beautifully with ease… Then focusing on creating our Masterpiece flows naturally and becomes the joyful endeavor it’s supposed to be.
Creating our Masterpiece has to do with Intentionally creating the life we desire. We get to Dream, Design, Develop and Display our ever-evolving Creation, throughout our Human Experience. This is where Living our life by Design requires Co-Creation. For we do not live in a vacuum, we live in relationship(s). And, that impacts and influences the quilt of our life…
Creating our Masterpiece also has to do with inviting, allowing and abiding by Inspiration. It is about having Vision, and not merely having an idea of what we want and setting goals to achieve it… It is grander and more meaningful than that. This is where we connect with our Why. Where we bring in Purpose. Where life makes sense. It has to do with having Inspired Intentionality™ at the heart of creating the life we desire…
It has to do with deciding, owning, who we truly are and are becoming more every day. It has to do with setting up our life to allow and promote this development. It has to do with deciding who we are as a couple, as a partnership. It has to do with defining our Personal and Couple Brand… It has to do with living authentically and honoring ourselves and our partnership.
Our Masterpiece is a weaving together of the Partners’ contributions, gifts, Essence. It is our responsibility to crack the code for a seamlessly weaving experience. So we do get to create a gorgeous and magnificent Masterpiece. We don’t want to end up with a mediocre masterpiece at the end of the day, for that would have been a wasted Human Experience… We want our Masterpiece to be our Legacy…
If all this sounds too grand to you, it’s time to wake up to your Life! It’s time to embrace what you signed-up for… Make this life the best it can be. Make your life a world-class life.
How? Dream, Design, Develop, Display… Here is your Prescription:
1 – Do your own Personal Development work (we can help!) so you don’t get in the way, encourage your partner to do the same… Combine your Learnings…
2 – Develop Courage to go for it! Own your Why, your Purpose. Make this your Life Lens, let it inform your Vision. Create a Joint Vision…
It’s the beginning of 2020, a New Year, a New Decade, a New Era, a New Version of You. You 2.0.Your Life 2.0. No matter where you are in your life, the formula above is pertinent… You can just be waking up to your life, or you can be a bit of a veteran on the Journey. Regardless, apply the Prescription to your current situation and you’ll be cruising along gracefully and joyfully to your best life experience yet…
ASSIGNMENT: Well? Are you going for it? If not, give it a good thought as to why you are holding yourself back from your Best Self and your Best Life… Isn’t it time to stop the nonsense and step up your game? Just saying…
If you are going for it, Yay! Congratulations! It might feel a bit scary, for we do have to deconstruct to reconstruct… Hang in there… You just made the best decision of your life… Seriously…
If you are going for it, have a heart-to-heart with your Honey about Committing to your Best Lives ever… If you find for whatever reason that you can’t do this, it’s totally fine and kind of normal… This just means YOU start the Journey… This is Your life after all… You are responsible for it. You are the boss of it…
Next is to decide what kind of life you want and to start making changes to create it…
Dream, Design, Develop, Display…
You can have a better life. It’s just a matter of how much you want it… I say, Just go for it already! And, Enjoy!
We completed this Series. Yay!! Stay tuned for a compilation of prior series for a richer integration… Here is to our Best Year yet. Here is to our Best Life!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Creating!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
There is truly nothing better than a full heart… When we appreciate, recognize, and are Grateful we Transcend to a higher estate infused with joy and bliss… If you are looking for the magic bullet in life, this is it…
We can do our Gratefulness Practice for two reasons: One, because it just feels great and has a major positive impact in our life. Two, because being appreciative, thankful, and acknowledging makes others feel good. This is a win-win.
Obviously, not everything we are Grateful for is other-related and we wouldn’t necessarily be sharing it. But anything having to do with others, why not? We don’t show appreciation and recognition enough. We don’t focus on the positives enough. So, if we see the good, let’s acknowledge it!
As we know, and as I’ve written before, we have a strong Negativity Bias (our brain’s built-in evolutionary protection). We just go around looking for what’s wrong, out of place, incomplete, imperfect, and the like. Go easy on yourself if this is you. For now, just acknowledge that this is a defense to feel safe…
It’s important to understand the things that create our insecurity and to address them… Instead of feeling the victim set a boundary, address a transgression, take charge and meet your needs. Don’t get hang up on this. Take care of it and move on. Shift your focus to the good stuff.
Interestingly, once we make a concerted focus to notice and revel in the positives, things start to shift… We start noticing that we are ok, that there are no life-threatening monsters coming out of the closet.
This dual focus creates momentum in breaking the Negativity Bias and allows us to enjoy the Blessings in life…
Whether you are a novice or a virtuoso at bypassing the Negativity Bias, full on embracing a Grateful Heart just makes for a better Human Experience… Not only does it feel good, but impacts our wellness, connection and success. It changes our brain, our estate, our health… It helps us connect, love and feel love… It influences our bandwidth, energy, performance and more…
Enjoying the Blessings in our life is what life is about, if we don’t intend to enjoy what is the point? Everything we do is to have a Human Experience, there is the enjoyment in and of itself… There is a Blessing in that… There is Gratefulness to be had about that… It only requires awareness… This part of the concept is a bit more advanced and not for the faint of heart… If you are not here, that’s ok.
Regardless, I am positive there are Blessings in your life. If you are having a difficult time seeing them, stretch a little and look a little harder. You might even want to ask someone else what they would consider Blessings in your life…
The key is to get out of our own way and to look more and more for all the Blessings… In doing so we retrain, reprogram our brain and Elevate ourselves… This shows in our health, our environment, our relationships, our accomplishments, our influence, and everywhere else. This is the estate to be in… And, it’s free (haha). Really, it doesn’t cost anything to be Grateful and the benefits are priceless…
Our tendency to focus on the negatives gets in our way of being able to see the Blessings. Our job is to put the negative in context and address it not letting it take over our life. Our job additionally is to see the silver lining, appreciate all we have, recognize what’s available, see the positives and be open to the possibilities. Our job is to Allow the good to show up… The more we focus on our Blessings the more Blessings are bestowed upon us…
What we resist persists… Let go of the negatives…
What we focus on grows… Focus on the Blessings…
This is Gratefulness. This is an estate of Abundance. This is the true definition of Thanksgiving.
ASSIGNMENT: For the next week, pull out all the stops. Have a perpetual running script playing in your mind. Look for the Blessings and what to appreciate everywhere. Be in a constant position of noticing, searching and being aware. Take note of how much there is to be Grateful for, how Abundant your life is.
How Blessed you truly are. Every second of the day. Keep this going and notice your physical, mental, emotional and energetic shift… You’ll be amazed… This is the way to go… Embrace it full on!
Hey, you might even consider integrating your Gratefulness Practice into an ongoing part of your routine… If you already do this, how can you take your Practice to the next level… Embrace it full on!
Wishing you an awakened and marvelous Thanksgiving.
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Thanks-giving!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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