How much do you love Valentine’s Day? That’s a tricky question, posed as an invitation for you to think about Relationship Nurturing… Regardless of how you feel about the holiday, and regardless of the status of your relationship…, I encourage you to use it to earmark a moment to step it up in the love department in your relationship…
For you see any excuse to be nicer, more generous, more nurturing, more wooing should be an automatic, Yes. This is how you uplevel your relationship by delighting your partner…
I obviously agree that this should not just be left for Valentine’s Day… Let me offer my yearly disclaimer and then we can get to delighting your partner. 😉
Part of what makes good relationships great, is the extra mile the partners go to for their partner… This is beyond the business of life… They are willing to put in the time, to give the attention, to create the fun and funny memories, to create traditions, to do special gestures outside of the routine, to create special moments that highlight what is important.
Celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day and the rest of the holidays by adding something special for your partner shows your partner they are your person… Your partner should not be treated like everybody else and obviously not worse, which unfortunately happens too often…
So- Valentine’s Day is just another opportunity to do something special for your partner. Ok? Ok.
And hey, I get that figuring out what to do for fun, what to do for Date Night, and how to woo your partner for Valentine’s Day and otherwise can leave most partners at a loss. Delighting your partner can be such a pleasure for them and for you…
Let me show you how to be Delighting…
Delighting Your Partner
Delighting your partner has to do with doing gestures that touch their heart. Plain and simple. We can go completely out of our way to do something for our partner but if they don’t want it, like it or appreciate it, we are just wasting our time.
It is very easy for us to think of what is best for our partner and to think we know what they need, according to us. But most of the time when we are coming from this place, we are just in their circle (owning them, crossing boundaries, codependently caretaking) and not really being delighting…
The key to Delighting our partner has to do with giving them what they would like because they’ve told us or from what we know about them (not from a caretaking place). If getting the nuance here is challenging, refer toother boundary setting and ownership work.
Even after that distinction it might still be challenging to think of how, and to keep things fresh and interesting.
Some ways to help you come up with ideas is to use your partner’s:
• Practical Needs • Emotional Needs • Love Language • Interests • Idiosyncrasies • Desires • Dreams
You can generate a list of gifts, gestures, activities, and more for each item listed to prime yourself and get the creative juices going. Don’t limit yourself to what you come up with, let this serve as an inspiration and a tickler to generate additional ideas…
Be always on the lookout for what might tickle your partner’s heart.
You don’t have to torture yourself to be super creative and think outside the box for the most special gift ever and the most romantical outing ever. LOL
The key to Delighting your partner is to know your partner and do the things that pleases them…
Other Categories
You can come up with as many other categories as you’d like, and then flesh them out for specific Delighting gestures… For example:
Routine & Sustenance Related – On a recurring basis as a ritual or spontaneously as a treat, do anything from this list or your version of them for your partner
• Breakfast in bed • Morning coffee • Workout shake • Green smoothie or juice • Cut up or baked vegetables for snacking • Salad or other healthy lunch • Healthy midafternoon snack or treat • Flavored tea • Favorite dinner • Decadent dessert
Romancing & Wooing Related – On an ongoing basis, for special occasions, or just because, use these romantical and wooing gestures and activities or your version of them towards your partner (We have a few vendors we like, check them out Here!)
• Fresh flowers bouquets, wreaths, plants • Perfumes, candles, essential oils • Handcrafted chocolates or other delicacies, novelty, or decadent treats • Tickets to events or activities • Gags and pranks • Couple classes (i.e., flower arrangements, cooking, chocolate making, dancing) • Other experiences (i.e., massage and body ritual, food and wine tasting, driving experience) • Being in nature (i.e., hiking, camping, stargazing, fruit picking) • Relationship scrapbooking or music playlisting • Sexy toys, clothing, activities
Delighting your partner doesn’t have to stump you. Just take a moment to don your generous, nurturing and playful vibes and give it a think.
Watch the video for inspiration on embracing Delighting Your Partner… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: Decide to embrace a Relationship Nurturing Practice that includes Delighting Your Partner…
1. Select or identify a Delighting Category you’ll play with this month 2. Flesh out what kind of gestures, activities, and gifting it might include 3. Map out your delivery of this deliciousness throughout the month
Have fun Delighting your partner!
Now think what would happen to your relationship if you did this every month… How is that for a challenge, will you accept it?
Remember, that to have an amazing relationship means, we have to create an amazing relationship… Here is to yours!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
🌟 This month’s Masterclass
Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat- Connect More Deeply, Rekindle Your Love Keeping the love alive is not easy. Relationship slumps are common, but they don’t have to do you in.
Come learn how to recharge your relationship and rekindle your love. Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Register HERE
🌟 If you missed the embracing a Self-Love Practice Masterclass, you can still get it through our Member Center with a Lifestyle Membership!
A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life- Stop Self-Sabotage, Increase Resilience, and Generate More Joy
Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Enroll HERE
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Happy Love Month! This is when things can begin to look up. It is up to us to grab the possible new vibe… It is up to us to create a new vibe… Will you continue to feel exhausted, burnt out, unmotivated and blah?
Or will you replenish yourself with a rich Self-Love Practice and set the right tune for the year? Will you generate lovely notes to fill your heart and share it with others? Will you be open to giving and receiving more love in your relationship? Connection Habits help enhance or rekindle love…
Partners operate as if once they have a commitment from each other that the relationship box can be checked off.
Because we finally found our Soulmate (our best possible match for us now with all the potential in the universe), it doesn’t mean that we can now move on to other projects or life endeavors…
This is the furthest thing from what we should be doing (yes, I’m using the word should– that’s how important this is!). If we don’t make a commitment to be fully invested in our relationship from now till we choose otherwise, we won’t have a choice about it eventually… If we don’t invest in our relationship, if we don’t nurture it, it could get so bad we’d be running for the hills, or living a very unhappy life…
Our relationship is like a garden, if we don’t water it, it withers and dies…
Most partners have no clue how to Nurture their relationship, especially if they are struggling or going through a slump. Nurturing our relationship doesn’t have to be this illusive concept and challenging effort…
The easiest way to strengthen your bond, deepen your connection, and enhance or rekindle your love is through Connection Habits.
Connection Habits
When partners think about how to improve or uplevel their relationship, they often find themselves at a loss.
There are many factors at play in our relationship that make it challenging for us to figure out where to start to make things better… A lot of times our efforts are Band-Aids on dirty wounds. Even the best of intentions are taken the wrong way and do more harm than good. But this is not as hopeless as it seems. The key is to first plant a flag to stop spinning, and then go from there.
What is this flag? This has to do with having a Relationship Enrichment Mindset™… If our mindset is messed up about our relationship (or relationships in general!) and about our partner, we are starting off on the wrong foot. Therefore, the best thing to do is to address our mindset…
With an upgraded relationship mindset, the universe is the limit!
Your Bond is the Essence of your relationship. This is what makes you feel like you are in a relationship, that you belong, that you are not alone, that somebody has your back, that you are a Partnership.
Connection Habits in this area have to do things like staying in touch, checking-in, sharing, debriefing, doing caring or caretaking activities.
II. Connection Habits for Deepening Your Connection
After a while relationships tend to go south or flat if the partners have not intentionally addressed concerns and patterns and if they haven’t nurtured each other and the relationship. It is very easy to feel disconnected from our partner. We might go through the basic motions of being in a relationship, but if the interactions remain superficial based on the mundane we start to feel less connected…
Connection Habits in this area have to do with having deeper and more meaningful interactions like processing triggers, discussing life, sharing desires, wishes, dreams, developing traditions, having planning sessions
III. Connection Habits for Enhancing or Rekindling Your Love
If we neglect the relationship and our partner, the love does fade away (sorry, don’t shoot the messenger!)… Love is a verb, it is not a noun… When we are not loving we can’t feel love… For us to feel the love for our partner, we have to cultivate it. The more we cultivate the more we harvest… This is also true for if you are not feeling romantic love for your partner or if you believe you “fell out of love”…
Connection Habits in this area have to do with doing the loving, wooing, and charming gestures that are fun or romantic, spark joy, create memories, have a ritualistic aspect, touches the other’s heart, makes the other feel special and cherished…
We can easily stay on a path to creating a successful relationship and epic love with our partner by intentionally and systematically being nurturing with Connection Habits…
Watch the video for inspiration on establishing Connection Habits… Enjoy!
APPLICATION: This Month of Love step up your game nurturing your relationship and your partner.
💗Depending on the current state or feel of your relationship, decide where your relationship could use an infusion of Connection Habits:
• Strengthening Your Bond • Deepening Your Connection • Enhancing or Rekindling your Love
You can add one habit per category for a balanced approach, or focus on one of the categories with more habits to really upgrade that area.
💗Decide what kind of feelings you’d like to feel and what kind of feel you’d like the relationship to have, and design your habit/s with the intention of generating those feelings.
💗Integrate the habit/s into your daily, weekly, monthly routines to automate nurturing your relationship…
Have fun design and integrating habits that tickle your hearts!
It doesn’t have to take work to nurture your relationship and show your partner love. Implementing a Connection Habits Tactic takes all the effort out of creating a loving and joyous relationship!
Here is to much connection and love this month and the rest of the year!
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: If you missed the Self-Love Masterclass, you can still get it through our Member Center with a Lifestyle Membership!
A Self-Love Strategy for Creating Your Best Life Stop Self-Sabotage, Increase Resilience, and Generate More Joy Includes Recording and gorgeous Workbook of transformational processes Enroll HERE
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Unfortunately, the feeling of being stuck and feeling hopeless in one’s relationship is not uncommon. Many partner’s feel they are not compatible, they don’t enjoy each other’s company, and can’t see a future together… A sad state of affairs.
Partners get to this point because they get entrenched in their own perspective losing sight of the other and the relationship, and the gorgeous potential… Once this is recaptured, they get along, get on the same page and get things done… They move forward creating their successful and radiant relationship!
Are you feeling stuck? You don’t have to be!
Here are 3 Tactics to help you start moving forward:
Learn to get along
Getting along doesn’t mean agreeing on everything or denying and swallowing your preference and desires. Getting along means understanding what you each want, why and finding a way of honoring both sides…
Couples usually get this all wrong. Partners dig in their heals on their side and look at their partner as the enemy for not giving up their own preference for them. They become extremely egocentric. Everything that is going on is filtered through the lens of did they got what they wanted. And if they didn’t, they compute a notch against their partner. Yuck!
This is definitely not a relationship enrichment approach, nor an emotionally safe approach of being in relationship. This cuts at the bond between the partners, disrupts their attachment. This breaches boundaries and undermines the other. This erodes self-esteem and confidence. This creates doubt and stuckness in the relationship.
We can be very good at making a federal case against our partner. We can be very good at connecting all the dots to prove ourselves right, for making the case of how we’ve been wronged in some way. We can be very good at presenting the logic behind how our partner let us down, again.
But, when we approach our relationship this way, we are just cheating ourselves out of the synergy and the gift inherent in our relationship… Gone are the days of finding a partner for contractual reasons. Now we choose each other and there is meaning in our choice. We forget to honor and benefit from that…
Getting along has to do with understanding each other, getting our partner and validating what’s true for them (showing them we get them), having their back, having their best interest at heart, approaching them from our heart and not our head (ego). It has to do with honoring that we are different people and working at figuring out how to make our differences work for us instead of against us…
So, for starters – stop looking at yourself as the victim in your relationship. Stop looking at your partner as the villain, the enemy, the bad guy. Stop looking at the relationship as dissatisfying and hopeless.
Instead take a step back and see the gift that is your partner and relationship. See how your partner does contribute, has your back, is committed… See the intentions, attempts, and willingness. However small these might be at this juncture… Remember, your partner is hanging in there as well…
Look at your partner with your heart and with compassion, not with your head and with criticism… See them, see their essence. Look beyond the noise, defenses, and imperfections… Once you shifted, then approach them…
Get on the same page
Being on the same page does not mean agreeing on a topic or situation, looking at an issue the same way, loving your partner’s perspective or approach and the like.
It does mean understanding where you are each coming from, what is significant about their experiences and why, how that fits with who the individuals are and what is going on for them, what’s the purpose and motive behind their actions, what are just defenses and not ill intentioned behaviors, what are attempts at pleasing and connection but just with poor delivery…
Getting a clear understanding of what is happening by giving the partner the benefit of the doubt, some grace, and compassion helps break impasses… Partners get stuck because they refuse to see the other side. They get stuck by trying to be right by making the other wrong… They get stuck because their perspective becomes very cloudy with their own position, circumstance and wishes.
Getting on the same page means finding a common ground, happy medium, or way of agreeing to move forward… It’s ok for your partner to get their way on what is really important to them. It’s ok for you to get your way on what is really important to you. When there is a mutual topic that is really important to both, know that there are usually degrees of how important something is to someone and hardly ever do people feel exactly the same way… Therefore, the discrepancy can be used to break impasses…
Now, don’t be stubborn and find this to be the thing you both agree on 100%! If you find that you are doing this, you are still very much entrenched in your own side… Then, this a YOU problem, not a partner problem… Remember the 80/20 rule. That any situation that is troubling you, is 80% about you, and 20% about what your partner is doing or now doing… Giving your 80% attention should keep you busy enough to have any desire to focus on your partner’s 20…
Getting on the same page is YOUR inside job. It’s is not your partner’s job. Now, if your partner were reading this, the same applies to them… So you see, you both work on your own in-sides…
Please bear in mind that you each have your own style, pace and ability for working on your side. If you are focusing on how much your partner is doing or not doing, how they are doing it, and how fast – again, you are focusing on the wrong side…
Focus on you and you’ll see how fast things actually change! For when we show up differently, we invite (co-create) different stuff…
So for starters – invite your partner into a conversation where the focus in on how you get their side… How you get them, get their point of view, perspective or experience, understand what is happening for them and what they desire and why, etc.
Seriously, keep this ONLY about them… Once your partner feels gotten, they un-dig their heals… Stop the conversation while you are ahead, don’t turn it back to you or try to address any issues at this time. Select another time to come back to the rest… In the meantime, watch the different energy and dynamics that come from your investment…
Get things done
You’ll notice that once you start shifting and showing up differently, agreeing on courses of action and staying synchronized becomes much easier!
A mistake that partners make is trying to control what their partner does, how they do it and when they do it – micromanaging so it gets done on their timetable. Who wants to live like this? Not for nothing the partner is shutting down, not showing up, disappearing or doing a crappy job…
When we control and micromanage, we ensure that the other doesn’t show up with their genius and internal resources. We end up creating a self-fulling prophecy that the other is not there, we are alone and unsupported, and we have to take care of everything… Right? We are just validating our scripts and repeating our patterns…
Now, you might be saying – Yeah, but when I put my partner in charge of such and such, or remove myself from something, or let this go or that go, they are still dropping the ball…
To that I say that the “delegation”, collaboration, wasn’t set up properly… You dumped the task on your partner without buy-in, guidelines, and the like. You gave up a task and your partner has no idea that it’s theirs now. You claim something is no longer a task, but still want the results of having a related task completed. And, a host of other funny business that sets you up to not be properly and genuinely supported…
If you are not getting what you want, what do you need to do differently to get it…? We have no control over what other people do, including our partner. But we do have control over what we do, how we show up and how we set things up…
So for starters – review the things you are not getting enough support on, that are getting on your nerves, that your partner keeps f*g up, and the like… Make a list of all the annoyances, of all the supposed dropped balls…
Now, take a look at how those balls were put into circulation… Hey, you might think you both have done an amazing job at setting up who owns this ball. And, yet it is still dropped. To that I say that it wasn’t really set up amazingly… Dig into why the ball is dropped. The best of intentions could have been in place to pick up this ball, but maybe the picking up wasn’t set up realistically…
You can go two ways here, find the theme of what is happening or identify the ball that is aggravating you the most. Then address this with your partner.
Now, don’t go in with guns blazing… Go into the conversation shifted, getting their side, and addressing it from what’s happening for you around this ball. Don’t go into the conversation by noting how your partner sucks and how they failed you, again…
ASSIGNMENT: Take note which of these three areas is most wobbly for you:
Get along – mindset
Get on the same page – communication
Get things done – collaboration
Then, give that area all your attention. Don’t dabble, be serious about making a change!
When you embrace taking ownership of how you do you in your relationship, you’ll be amazed at how quickly and beautifully you start seeing the changes you want.
Tackling the tactics above helps you make some head way in the implementing 3 of 5 key Elements in the Successful Couple Strategy™: Context/Mindset (1), Communication/Alignment (2), and Collaboration/Partnership (5). Woot!
Start creating changes within you so you can see changes in your relationship!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
I’m operating with a new mantra, Keep clearing. Doing another round of letting go of the old (like possessions, processes, ways of thinking…), and I’m seriously embracing the concept of entering a New Era… Feeling amazing… Yay! How are you doing?
If we want change to happen, we have to change how we do things… We have to change how we look at things… We have to change how we are showing up, how we are choosing to Be. We have to be different to create a new reality… Change doesn’t just happen. And, especially it doesn’t happen by doing more of the same with stronger conviction… We just dig ourselves more and more into our status quo with that approach…
Our best thinking got us this far. But the mindset, capabilities, and tactics that got us here became outdated. It’s time to level-up if we are to create our best year yet, our best relationship yet, our best life yet. It’s time to clear the old if we are to have space for the new… It’s time to truly embrace our potential, our desires, our calling, our purpose, our mission. It’s time to step-it up if we are to play a bigger game.
Now, please do not let your Ego tell you, I’m good, I don’t need a bigger game… This is just your fear talking! Stop fooling yourself that you want a simple life. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is simple and there is Simple. I’m talking about going for the simple that implies mediocracy… Stop settling!
I’ll take simple vs complex as much as my current brain will allow me. Still working on cracking that code, on letting go of making things complicated… LOL But, I’m saying let’s go for an elegantly simply efficient and productive Grand Life…
We usually can’t snap our finger and switch gears. If it was that simple everyone would be living their Grand Life already… It requires owning our why, owning our values, owning our desires, owning our current level of investment into our values, owning our current level of functioning, and fully owning our current status in all areas of our life… It requires complete ownership, a truthful reality check, and full commitment to create our Grand Life…
Hey, you can choose to have your simple mediocre life. That’s always your prerogative, but then maybe I’m not the lid for your pot. And, that’s OK. I’m here to serve those that want to live their life to their full potential, who want to go for it. I’m here to serve those who want to save their marriage, their relationship. Who want to have an amazing relationship with their Partner.
I’m here to serve those that are not afraid to weather the tough times. Who are willing to do what it takes to stay in the game. Who are willing to look at how they contribute to their status quo, and to change how they do their side. Who are willing to stretch out of their comfort zone.
Who are willing to be uncomfortable as they stretch. Who make being uncomfortable their new norm, for as you keep evolving and creating awesomeness you’ll always be stretching and hence uncomfortable a lot…
Do you get that going for your Grand Life requires you fully show up to your life? Really show up… Are you willing to step up your game? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? If not now when…? Don’t wait for the perfect time to start working on things… In all reality, all it takes is a decision… Decide now you are no longer settling. Decide now to go full on for your Grand Life…
If you are struggling in your relationship or simply are going for its next best version, here is a wonderful relationship investment to do this Valentine’s Season:
Love Launch™
During the 4 Weekends leading to Valentine’s Day (or another occasion, or just because!), you are to make a real concerted investment at nurturing your relationship. Do it with gusto and to please your Partner. Put on the “dating lens” – remember you’d do anything for your partner once upon a time…? Go all out to make an impression. And, YOU enjoy the process as you go…
Include this 14 Day Love Challenge! Start on February 1st, or at any time you want to Jump-Start, Spring-to-Life, or Reset your relationship. Simple, yet powerful, Daily Relationship Nurturing Nuggets. Treat your partner right!
Kudos on subscribing to this Newsletter. Kudos on reading this Issue. Kudos on staying open to bringing your relationship and your life to the next level. Now, let’s do it!
ASSIGNMENT: If you are still on the sidelines, a passive bystander, know that you are just killing time and wasting your life. Why postpone your transformation, your results, having your Grand Life? It just doesn’t make sense! Please, PLEASE, make a commitment to get in the game, I’d hate to leave you behind.
You know that when we really want something, we get it… You know that you have made things happen before when you wanted to… Just decide you are going for it, really going for it not dabbling in it… It makes a MASSIVE difference…
Take a look at the Valentine’s Day Love Launch™ and Love Challenge™ and commit to playing full out – embrace the protocols and work it baby!
Make the commitment to invest in your Love Life… Here is to an amazing Love Season!
Can’t wait to delight you with our next goodie to help you properly invest in your relationship! Stay tuned for details!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Investing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How are you doing? Hope you are keeping the momentum from the New Year going… As I’m sure you already know, right about now people start floundering with their New Year Resolutions, Intentions and the like… Tomorrow is the 3rd Monday of the New Year and known as Blue Monday…
The end-of-year drive, the holidays merriment and the new year’s excitement all but come crashing down… This is when back to reality hits us like a ton of bricks.
This is when we realize we are not exactly where we want to be, and the New Year’s promises are quickly fading away. This is when we realize real change needs to happen and we don’t necessarily know how to make it happen. We might know what we want to change, we might even know how, but somehow, we can’t get traction…
This is when it becomes obvious that we can’t make changes with just pure willpower and desire… This is when things become bleak and we feel powerless and stuck. If you are rocking the New Year, Congratulations! Just beware that this can still hit you with a delayed impact if you are not proactively preventative…
It is challenging to get traction on the changes we want because unfortunately our brain is working against us – it doesn’t like change. We literally have brain structures to maintain homoeostasis… To keep things in the status quo. We also have our Ego protecting us from growth and change. It perceives these as a threat…
Change in our life is to the brain and ego like viruses are to our body. The defenses come out to attack any intrusion. Hence, we end up sabotaging our very efforts, wishes and desires…
The 3 main areas people usually want changes on are health, relationship and finances. If they use their genius, they might have set goals around these. Never mind mere Resolutions. 25% of people who set resolutions abandon them after 7days! Intentions and Focus Terms are great as icing on the cake, not as substitutes…
We don’t do much better with goals. Only 14% of Americans set goals, only 3% of them write them down, and only 1% of those review them daily when there is a 42% increase in goal achievement by merely setting them… This makes me sad for people’s ability to create what they want in their life…
So, if we go by these stats, it is very likely that you haven’t set goals and most likely that you haven’t written them down. Therefore, if you are serious about creating the life you want, if you are serious about not settling for a mediocre life, if you are serious about having your best human experience, then it is time to take goal setting seriously.
Seriously doesn’t mean this has to be complicated or a major production. Make it as easy as possible. Just go with the basics if you need a starting point: health, relationship and finances… You can tweak this to your heart’s desire of course, but if you make a commitment to embrace creating changes in these 3 areas you will make a significant improvement in your life…
Additionally, if we don’t want to struggle in achieving these goals, we have to make sure we don’t depend on willpower to work on these… Willpower only takes us so far and is limited… It depends on how we feel, our mood, our energy, our time, etc. If we are to achieve what we want, if we are to create the life we desire, we can’t leave it to chance…
How do we make sure we keep our goals forefront and actively work on them?
FIRST, we have to have a strong desire to achieve them. We have to have a strong Why behind them to inspire us and keep us motivated…
SECOND, we have to set ourselves up to achieve them, with structure and systems… This means we have to set up our daily life with routines around achieving these goals. And, we have to set up the routines with related Habits to automate our investment and take the effort out of it… Voila!
What do you say? Are you ready to really create the life you desire, your best life? Are you ready to set yourself up for an amazing decade? Are you ready for your best year yet? What do you say? Don’t be the majority statistic. Don’t let Blue Monday be a reality for you. Don’t let another year pass by without making a dent in creating the life you really want…
ASSIGNMENT: There is plenty of info out there on how. There are plenty of people having a say on all this. Your job is not to get more info and keep postponing your results. There is plenty on this blog anyway, even on this post alone, to help you get started… Your job is to decide you are going for it, commit to it and get started.
Here is your basic Strategy in its simplest form:
Step 1: Create 1 measurable stretch goal for your 3 life areas, with strong Whys for each
Step 2: Add 3 concrete recurring behaviors to each goal
Step 3: Integrate the recurring behaviors into your daily/weekly/monthly routine(s)
Don’t let this significant time pass you by. The sooner you plan and set your goals, the sooner you’ll start working on them, the longer you’ll have a chance to achieve them… You can rock this!
Make a commitment to no longer settle. Make a commitment to live your best life. Set yourself up to create what you desire right now. Seriously, do your Strategy now – start the week right, start the rest of your life right!
And, because we know it’s not easy to make changes on our own, we are creating some new goodies to help you with the Relationship & Connection area… Stay tuned for more details coming soon!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Strategizing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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