The state of our country is kicking most of our people’s butts… If you’ve been feeling specially overwhelmed, tired, unmotivated, hopeless, cranky or such you are certainly not alone… We are just not used to this kind of sustained global impact on our way of life… It is taxing our emotional bandwidth… It is not conducive to thriving…
It is not easy to not get triggered one way or another by everything that is happening around us and how our world has been turned upside down. We can’t seem to get our new footing and replenish ourselves fast enough. Yes, we are on a spectrum of how impacted we are, but we are nonetheless impacted…
Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum and for what reasons, your job is to take care of yourself… Your job is to make sure you can weather this storm. Your job is to make sure you turn this around for yourself… Your job is to find the blessing, the good, the opportunity, the reason to pivot and how to best course correct… Your job is even to figure out how to Thrive… For everything happens For us…
I’ve been saying from day one that we are deconstructing to Reconstruct… It seems this is permeating every area of our lives more everyday…
What are you deconstructing in your life? Do you know the larger meaning of this for your life yet? Do you know how this is in Alignment with who you are, with what you are supposed to be doing, with the kind of Human Experience you signed up for?
These are the thoughts that Transcend the nonsense, the pain, the tragedy we might be experiencing. These are the thoughts that enliven us, that empower us, that energize us, that motivate us… These are the thoughts that give rise to innovation, reform, modernization. These are the thoughts that revolutionize our way of life into a New World…
We didn’t experience “the end of the world”, but we are experiencing a New World… We are kicking off a New Era! What is your place in it?
Hey, you are not merely looking to find a job, keep a job or get as much of the bonus you were going to get at your job… You are not looking to add a new service line, so your business stays afloat. You are not even looking for how to deliver your service better…
I’m talking about putting your Gift to real use… You have a unique gift and Purpose. There is a Reason why you chose this time to come have your Human Experience. Do you even know what your Gift and Purpose are yet so you can finally really have your full Human Experience…? Either way is informing your experience of our current world… The sooner you crack this code and Align with your Purpose the better your experience…
Will you rise to the Challenge to identify your gift and purpose? To use your Gift and Purpose for the highest impact and fullest Human Experience?
Will you match your gift and purpose to bridge the gaps in our current world and society for the best imaginable outcome, to leave your footprint, to make a difference? And, hey, I’m not necessarily talking about being on the front pages every day. I’m talking about just touching our world enough that you make a difference…
For you see this is the key. It’s not merely surviving, making do, meeting a need and doing well enough. It’s about fully matching who you are to our world for the greatest imprint… So, the world is different because you were in it…
Where do you start? You start by taking care of yourself… You start by designing your best daily life and sticking to it… You start by Aligning with your Self every day… You start by showing up with your Best Self to everything you do… And, you start by expanding your capacity, so you have a larger reach…
How do you do all this? You make a commitment to Personal Development and you play with it every day!
ASSIGNMENT: What is included in your Self-Care Practice? How do you take care of yourself? If your life is not AMAZING yet, you need to uplevel whatever you are doing…
-Start by how you are treating your body… Think rest, hydration, nutrition, supplements, cleansing, exercise, posture, stretching, grooming and pampering… When you play with these, you immediately feel better and are more resourced…
-Become aware and proactive about what you allow to rent space in your mind… Mindset work is huge in creating our Best Life… Target your negativity bias, reprogram your limiting beliefs and old scripts, heal old wounds, create new emotional patterns, consume uplifting, clean and motivating messages…
-Most importantly, connect with your Highest Self daily. Shoot for being Connected ongoingly… This takes practice… Build it into your routine!
Select what is the most challenging for you right now and commit to conquering it. The thing that is the most challenging is your biggest barrier… Once removed the rest is much easier… And, you’ll be having your amazing Human Experience and be on your way to creating your Best Life…
I know that thinking Best Life, Best Human Experience, Impacting the World, and such can seem very intimidating… But, it doesn’t have to be. Start with the basics to get in the Flow and you’ll be smooth sailing soon enough!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples to succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Did you know that Collaboration is super important nowadays? And, I don’t just mean with your team, colleagues and peers… I’m talking about Collaboration with your Partner, or special friend and other loved ones…
When we get on the same page with our partner and create ways of working together, supporting each other and sharing the load in the business of life, ah, that’s the sweet spot.
–This can only happen when the partners show up with their Best Self and have a growth mindset… When they are serious about having a real Human Experience…
–This can only happen when the partners learn themselves, each other and how they fit together, and Why…
–This can only happen when they join forces, become allies and tap into their relationship’s inherent Synergy…
–This can only happen when the partners optimally utilize their complimentary gifts, strengths and passions for the greater good of the relationship, family, community and world at large…
–This can only happen when the partners ongoingly clean up their side of the street, own themselves, improve their self-management and relational skills, mindfully and intentionally go about meeting their and their partner’s needs, proactively set themselves up for success…
We can’t just collaborate… Collaboration is the delicate balance of both partners, parties, contributing significantly to successfully accomplish a shared goal and reach a mutually desired outcome…
The key to a successful Collaboration is:
Clearly defining the goal and desired outcome
Establishing the full scope of the responsibility, project, or task
Capitalizing on the strengths of each partner and tackling the load accordingly
Ensuring both partners are heard, understood, represented, acknowledged and praised
Trusting each other to fully show up and honor their commitments
Fully showing up and honoring one’s commitments
Setting up mechanisms, processes, systems and such to carry out the work
Including a debriefing, checking in, reporting protocol for staying current and on the same page
Of course, these don’t have to sound so formal during discussions and when setting up your routines and flow…
It is very challenging to collaborate properly when we have blind-spots, sensitivities and a chip-on-our-shoulder. It is very challenging to collaborate when we lack personal awareness, have an outdated operating system, can’t be vulnerable and have a compassionate heart, and have limited skills and personal resources…
When we operate blindly and with heightened sensitivities, we are easily triggered, can’t see the other’s perspective, are not able to be flexible or compromise, have difficulties being creative, problem solving, making decisions, addressing concerns, etc…
You see how it can be virtually impossible to create a smooth collaboration with your partner, or anyone for that matter, when this is your MO? It is virtually impossible to create a strong partnership when this is how we show up…
So, before you go setting goals and creating systems to Collaborate, take stock of your development level, blind-spots, recurring pattern, self-management abilities, sensitivities, ability to let go and trust, and the like… This will show you your growth place and ability to create a successful Collaboration and Strong Partnership…
Evolving and upleveling yourself is the key to productive, exciting and impactful collaborations… How you show up to the collaboration is the key to your Strong Partnership…
Keep investing in becoming your Best Self!
ASSIGNMENT: Review how you do your days and assess if your current routine is serving you. Do you feel supported and inspired by what’s on your calendar or just merely looking at it stresses you out?
Embrace a Time Chunking approach to take charge of your life, more compassionately manage yourself, and have more productivity, joy, fun and impact in your days…
Make sure you add Time Chunks for your Self-care Practice, Focus Work, Outreach/Connect. Do related activities during their assigned times and honor and protect the chunks.
You’ll see how you’ll become exponentially more productive with a lot more ease and energy!
Making sure you operate optimally ensures you have amazing collaborations that are gratifying and support your life. Your Strong Partnership depends on it.
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we witness our country get ravished by this pandemic, and what seems the worst is yet to come, we have to prepare to weather the storm. To ride the wave… To make sure we can hang on to hope, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and to look for the silver lining… I know it’s very challenging to do that as things get worse.
Nonetheless, this is our chance to show what we are made of… This is our chance to overcome the impossible. This is our chance to actually not just merely adjust, but to figure out how to Thrive, influencing, having an impact, making a difference… This is it. This is when the road splits in your life, and you decide which way to go…
Will you be a victim, or will you be a leader? The choice is yours.
There is such a large spectrum of how people are impacted by our historic circumstance, that I will not even attempt to address the whole spectrum. Please know that I know my audience, so my message is targeted to you, and not what is happening for everyone else… Please read with that in mind, and don’t worry about how it fits for others… Deal?
Having said that, I know that you rock your life. I know that you influence others in, and with, your life. I know that you are smart, strong, resourceful and already in a position of leadership (whether officially or by the mere fact that you are awesome).
I know you have a lot on your plate and feel very overwhelmed at times. I know that you are doing the best you can, and sometimes lose sight of the road. I know that you can feel intimidated by our current world circumstance and might be feeling at a loss, hopeless or stuck. I also know that you will figure this out and use for the greater good, somehow…
That’s the plan we are on. Ok? Please keep remembering that you are awesome, that you have weathered other storms, and that you came out better because of it… This is actually the beauty in life, that we tend to miss when in panic and missing the forest for the tree…
The beauty in life is figuring out how to beat the challenges, and making them work to our advantage, for our richer Human Experience… Don’t lose sight of this! Tattoo it on your forehead if you have to! LOL For this is the key!!
So, then what is your life about? What is your challenge? What do you have to crack? Seriously, I mean business. Let’s do this, let’s crack the code. Let’s choose the other split on the road… This is it! What is your lesson? What do you have to conquer? What is your Achilles heel?
What is the thing that once it’s cracked you can smooth sail? If you don’t know, this is your homework until you get it… Period. This will make all the difference in your life… I promise… No more taking it easy. Are you in, or are you out?
You can’t waffle, that’s for living a mediocre life. If you are serious about having your Best Life, your Best Human Experience, then own this already. No more buffering… No more sitting by the sidelines… No more waiting to see what happens… Yes?
What does this mean for you?How will you tackle the code you need to crack? What will you do differently? How will you break the habit of being you? What will you do to become You 2.0?
One way to crack the code is to address your negativity bias, your limiting believes and your fears… This reprograms your operating system so you can more easily and successfully tackle the business of life and live through your Gifts… No more self-sabotage, no more buffering, no more wasting time, no more spinning wheels, no more barking up the wrong tree or climbing up the wrong ladder. No more missing the forest for the tree.
It’s time to Transcend the petty, the small, the noise, the nonsense. It’s time to embrace your magnificence…
You can do this! This is your chance to ride the wave into the New World…
ASSIGNMENT: Unfortunately, unless we enthusiastically embrace a personal development lifestyle, we walk around with really old and glitching programming that undermines us at every turn and holds us back from our Best Life.
>Today, make a list of all the scripts, stories, fears, worries, and limiting beliefs you allow to rent space in your head.
>During the next couple of days, stay on the lookout for any old automatic thinking you might have missed. Catch yourself allowing any of your programming to take over…
>Next, redo your list outlining the reality about what you wrote, not your perception, habitual thinking or chip on your shoulder version… The more honest you are the more you’ll deconstruct this… Review your list and notice how different it feels…
>Going forward, catch yourself in your old habitual thinking and replace it with the reality-based version… Ta-da!
Become obsessed about cleaning your thinking, your Best Life depends on it!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Here is the thing, a lot of people don’t know how to be High Performers, the Masters of their lives. Most people don’t know how to create the most from their lives by increasing productivity, creativity, peacefulness, joy, love and connection… They don’t know how to stay healthy, have increased vitality, and feel amazing most of the time… Actually, they might know but haven’t learned the self-discipline to pursue this with gusto for great results…
I know self-discipline can be challenging, especially when we have a lot going on. It can take insurmountable amounts of willpower when we might already be in a depleted state. This is when we end up feeling stuck, hopeless, depressed, anxious and other goodies.
The key is not to push yourself, beat yourself, shame yourself, or numb yourself… The key is to show up better with less effort!
When we think about our Best Life and then compare it to our current life, this might feel discouraging…
The first step is to own where we are at. A lot of times we get stuck, spin our wheels, and get paralyzed in confusion because we are living with our head in the sand… If we don’t know where we stand, how do we know where to start to get to where we are going? What’s worse, some don’t even know where they are going! What kind of life is this?
If we don’t know where we stand and we don’t know where we are going, how are we create an amazing life…? For what are we striving for? Where is the purpose? Where is the life built by design? How do we create our Masterpiece?
An unowned life doesn’t make sense… Not for nothing this doesn’t feel so good…
So, let’s start by owning the starting point. This is not going to feel so good at first either for it’ll be obvious how much things are not going as you’d prefer, and you created these results so far… But you know what, it’s ok to feel like crap about this because it is crap. Just don’t beat yourself up over it as you didn’t know any better, or couldn’t do any better with who you were then…
See that’s the trick, to create a better version of your life the better version of you needs to come out to play… Your job is to Become your Best Self, for this is how you create your Best Life. Take that to the bank! LOL
…Sit with being extremely unhappy with what you created so far, feel uncomfortable, feel the unease, feel the pain, feel the anger… Sit in the gap… For that’s all it actually is… (Smile. We’ll crack this!)
The next step is to forgive yourself, and never blame those around you…, for what’s happened so far… Start clearing and letting go… Cleanse…
Keep on clearing – get rid of anything you are tolerating… Anything that doesn’t float your boat. Anything that’s an aggravation, inefficient, painful, torturous, a joy kill, etc… This is a great Summer Project by the way.
Feel the feelings that come up, and address the reactions, from yourself and others, as they come up… Don’t push stuff down, shrug it off, dismiss it or keep tolerating it. It’s time to uplevel!
This is probably the most important step. If you give up too quickly or numb yourself through the process…, you won’t get over the hump. You haven’t achieved the tipping point… Keep going. Be present, be persistent, be consistent, stay the course… It pays off, I promise.
Finally, as you go through this, make sure you are super kind, gentle, tender and loving towards yourself… Have compassion for your old self… Appreciate all it was capable of doing and being with the limited resources it had… Now, looking back give yourself credit for all the awesomeness created so far. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a gold star!
This is a powerful exercise in allowing You 2.0 to emerge and come out to play. In allowing yourself to Become your Best Self… This is so good…
Now there is room for the new… Now you get to show up differently, not white-knuckling and drawing for self-discipline… Now there is room for more energy, for flow, for new Habits. This is how you become a High Performer and the Master of your life!
ASSIGNMENT: Decide you want to make a shift and Become the Master of your life. Decide you want to create your Best Life!
Step1- Own where you are at: Take stock of all main areas of your life and rate them as to how satisfied you are in each. Be truthful!
Step2- Forgive yourself for the status quo: Feel the sucky feeling that comes with the reality of things…
Step3- Be kind and compassionate to yourself: Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come with what you had
Step4- Become the Master of your life, create your Best Life: Create new/better Wellness, Connection and Success Habits!
Taking charge, shifting, transforming and creating your Best Life doesn’t have to be impossible. It can be a little challenging, but then so worth it in the end… Take on the challenge and start creating awesomeness today!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
There is a multitude of ways in which we don’t embrace our Freedom… We can certainly imprison, subjugate and de-self ourselves with how we choose to live our lives.
We pigeonhole ourselves through our mindset, perspectives, habits, lifestyle, job, career, marriage, home, community, religion, appearance, everything… We don’t realize that everything about us is a choice… Everything about us is a decision we made, or didn’t make, along the way…
We have a choice in everything about us… We just don’t usually look at ourselves and our life in this way… Every choice we make has an impact and a result in our life. Everything we think, feel, say, do, etc. is a choice, is created by us…
The life you have, you created and continue to create… Don’t shoot the messenger!
It is always striking to look at actors in movies and how they can change their appearance to be somebody completely different… They could have chosen to look like that for themselves in real life, or anything else they desire. We all have the same ability. The way we dress, how we do our hair, how we choose to speak, how we interact, etc. these are all choices.
Do I have certain genes, biology, temperament, and the like? Of course, I do. But I choose how to use what I have… And, I can make all kinds of different choices with what I have…
The way our life is – how we place furniture in our home, our daily routine, who we interact with, what we work on, what we have for dinner – we choose ongoingly… We can make different choices on anything at any time…
There was a morning last week when my husband came to me, and in a conspirational tone asked me, Did you see Vanessa’s (our daughter) room yet? Literally overnight, she rearranged her whole room even readied her fish tank for a new undertaking. She moved her bed, packed bookshelves, rugs and other furniture without making a peep.
He was floored by her ability to seamlessly carryout this project and create a whole new environment. This is the same kid who takes a week to get a load of laundry done. LOL
We can create whatever we want, whenever we want. We don’t have to suck up the status quo. We don’t have to have short or long hair. Be under- or over-weight. Have this or that career, or business, or home or anything for that matter. We created and continue to create our life.
There is Freedom in this awareness, and empowerment in the owning of the concept. You can get up at 5 a.m., you can eat low-carb, you can exercise every day, you can educate yourself on whatever you want, you can be nice to your partner, you can live somewhere else, etc…
So, whatever is giving you grief, whatever is troubling you, whatever is dissatisfying, whatever is a thorn in your back you have made decisions and choices that created that, or put you in the situation that you are in… And, all those things you can do something about (yes, regardless of the pandemic!).
First, own that you created what you have, or don’t have… Check your mindset, your perspectives and what thoughts you are entertaining…
Second, start owning your life! Start by owning every single choice you make or don’t make. Start making intentional ones, that honor who you are and who you want to be. That honor who you are Becoming. That honor you Becoming your Authentic Self, your Best Self.
When we operate more and more from our Authentic Self, we are more and more in Alignment and therefore more and more Free… Whatever we choose and create from our Authentic Self will always be Inspired and right for us… It will never imprison, subjugate or de-self…
The more we own our every choice and become more Aligned, the more we have our own back and can’t go wrong… So, start with every choice, start with the small ones… Just start Liberating yourself from your own imprisonment!
ASSIGNMENT: Plan for this weekend to find a quiet time/space for yourself to sit with yourself.
In your Journal, make a list of all the Freedoms you enjoy and all the choices you make that Align with your Authentic Self
Then, make a list of all the decisions and choices you’ve made, or didn’t make, that are restricting your freedom in your life…
Finally, pick one item from the 2nd list that you will address this week. An item where you will make a better decision or choice about it. Add an event to your calendar to address your item.
Note, what comes up for you. Take a moment to sit with the discomfort. Soothe yourself with deep breaths, and let it go…
Decide how you will celebrate the courage to take that action and add that to your calendar as well… Enjoy!!
Our lives are created one choice, one decision, at a time… Make yours good!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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