Did you know that Collaboration is super important nowadays? And, I don’t just mean with your team, colleagues and peers… I’m talking about Collaboration with your Partner, or special friend and other loved ones…
When we get on the same page with our partner and create ways of working together, supporting each other and sharing the load in the business of life, ah, that’s the sweet spot.
–This can only happen when the partners show up with their Best Self and have a growth mindset… When they are serious about having a real Human Experience…
–This can only happen when the partners learn themselves, each other and how they fit together, and Why…
–This can only happen when they join forces, become allies and tap into their relationship’s inherent Synergy…
–This can only happen when the partners optimally utilize their complimentary gifts, strengths and passions for the greater good of the relationship, family, community and world at large…
–This can only happen when the partners ongoingly clean up their side of the street, own themselves, improve their self-management and relational skills, mindfully and intentionally go about meeting their and their partner’s needs, proactively set themselves up for success…
We can’t just collaborate… Collaboration is the delicate balance of both partners, parties, contributing significantly to successfully accomplish a shared goal and reach a mutually desired outcome…
The key to a successful Collaboration is:
Clearly defining the goal and desired outcome
Establishing the full scope of the responsibility, project, or task
Capitalizing on the strengths of each partner and tackling the load accordingly
Ensuring both partners are heard, understood, represented, acknowledged and praised
Trusting each other to fully show up and honor their commitments
Fully showing up and honoring one’s commitments
Setting up mechanisms, processes, systems and such to carry out the work
Including a debriefing, checking in, reporting protocol for staying current and on the same page
Of course, these don’t have to sound so formal during discussions and when setting up your routines and flow…
It is very challenging to collaborate properly when we have blind-spots, sensitivities and a chip-on-our-shoulder. It is very challenging to collaborate when we lack personal awareness, have an outdated operating system, can’t be vulnerable and have a compassionate heart, and have limited skills and personal resources…
When we operate blindly and with heightened sensitivities, we are easily triggered, can’t see the other’s perspective, are not able to be flexible or compromise, have difficulties being creative, problem solving, making decisions, addressing concerns, etc…
You see how it can be virtually impossible to create a smooth collaboration with your partner, or anyone for that matter, when this is your MO? It is virtually impossible to create a strong partnership when this is how we show up…
So, before you go setting goals and creating systems to Collaborate, take stock of your development level, blind-spots, recurring pattern, self-management abilities, sensitivities, ability to let go and trust, and the like… This will show you your growth place and ability to create a successful Collaboration and Strong Partnership…
Evolving and upleveling yourself is the key to productive, exciting and impactful collaborations… How you show up to the collaboration is the key to your Strong Partnership…
Keep investing in becoming your Best Self!
ASSIGNMENT: Review how you do your days and assess if your current routine is serving you. Do you feel supported and inspired by what’s on your calendar or just merely looking at it stresses you out?
Embrace a Time Chunking approach to take charge of your life, more compassionately manage yourself, and have more productivity, joy, fun and impact in your days…
Make sure you add Time Chunks for your Self-care Practice, Focus Work, Outreach/Connect. Do related activities during their assigned times and honor and protect the chunks.
You’ll see how you’ll become exponentially more productive with a lot more ease and energy!
Making sure you operate optimally ensures you have amazing collaborations that are gratifying and support your life. Your Strong Partnership depends on it.
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we witness our country get ravished by this pandemic, and what seems the worst is yet to come, we have to prepare to weather the storm. To ride the wave… To make sure we can hang on to hope, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and to look for the silver lining… I know it’s very challenging to do that as things get worse.
Nonetheless, this is our chance to show what we are made of… This is our chance to overcome the impossible. This is our chance to actually not just merely adjust, but to figure out how to Thrive, influencing, having an impact, making a difference… This is it. This is when the road splits in your life, and you decide which way to go…
Will you be a victim, or will you be a leader? The choice is yours.
There is such a large spectrum of how people are impacted by our historic circumstance, that I will not even attempt to address the whole spectrum. Please know that I know my audience, so my message is targeted to you, and not what is happening for everyone else… Please read with that in mind, and don’t worry about how it fits for others… Deal?
Having said that, I know that you rock your life. I know that you influence others in, and with, your life. I know that you are smart, strong, resourceful and already in a position of leadership (whether officially or by the mere fact that you are awesome).
I know you have a lot on your plate and feel very overwhelmed at times. I know that you are doing the best you can, and sometimes lose sight of the road. I know that you can feel intimidated by our current world circumstance and might be feeling at a loss, hopeless or stuck. I also know that you will figure this out and use for the greater good, somehow…
That’s the plan we are on. Ok? Please keep remembering that you are awesome, that you have weathered other storms, and that you came out better because of it… This is actually the beauty in life, that we tend to miss when in panic and missing the forest for the tree…
The beauty in life is figuring out how to beat the challenges, and making them work to our advantage, for our richer Human Experience… Don’t lose sight of this! Tattoo it on your forehead if you have to! LOL For this is the key!!
So, then what is your life about? What is your challenge? What do you have to crack? Seriously, I mean business. Let’s do this, let’s crack the code. Let’s choose the other split on the road… This is it! What is your lesson? What do you have to conquer? What is your Achilles heel?
What is the thing that once it’s cracked you can smooth sail? If you don’t know, this is your homework until you get it… Period. This will make all the difference in your life… I promise… No more taking it easy. Are you in, or are you out?
You can’t waffle, that’s for living a mediocre life. If you are serious about having your Best Life, your Best Human Experience, then own this already. No more buffering… No more sitting by the sidelines… No more waiting to see what happens… Yes?
What does this mean for you?How will you tackle the code you need to crack? What will you do differently? How will you break the habit of being you? What will you do to become You 2.0?
One way to crack the code is to address your negativity bias, your limiting believes and your fears… This reprograms your operating system so you can more easily and successfully tackle the business of life and live through your Gifts… No more self-sabotage, no more buffering, no more wasting time, no more spinning wheels, no more barking up the wrong tree or climbing up the wrong ladder. No more missing the forest for the tree.
It’s time to Transcend the petty, the small, the noise, the nonsense. It’s time to embrace your magnificence…
You can do this! This is your chance to ride the wave into the New World…
ASSIGNMENT: Unfortunately, unless we enthusiastically embrace a personal development lifestyle, we walk around with really old and glitching programming that undermines us at every turn and holds us back from our Best Life.
>Today, make a list of all the scripts, stories, fears, worries, and limiting beliefs you allow to rent space in your head.
>During the next couple of days, stay on the lookout for any old automatic thinking you might have missed. Catch yourself allowing any of your programming to take over…
>Next, redo your list outlining the reality about what you wrote, not your perception, habitual thinking or chip on your shoulder version… The more honest you are the more you’ll deconstruct this… Review your list and notice how different it feels…
>Going forward, catch yourself in your old habitual thinking and replace it with the reality-based version… Ta-da!
Become obsessed about cleaning your thinking, your Best Life depends on it!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Here is the thing, a lot of people don’t know how to be High Performers, the Masters of their lives. Most people don’t know how to create the most from their lives by increasing productivity, creativity, peacefulness, joy, love and connection… They don’t know how to stay healthy, have increased vitality, and feel amazing most of the time… Actually, they might know but haven’t learned the self-discipline to pursue this with gusto for great results…
I know self-discipline can be challenging, especially when we have a lot going on. It can take insurmountable amounts of willpower when we might already be in a depleted state. This is when we end up feeling stuck, hopeless, depressed, anxious and other goodies.
The key is not to push yourself, beat yourself, shame yourself, or numb yourself… The key is to show up better with less effort!
When we think about our Best Life and then compare it to our current life, this might feel discouraging…
The first step is to own where we are at. A lot of times we get stuck, spin our wheels, and get paralyzed in confusion because we are living with our head in the sand… If we don’t know where we stand, how do we know where to start to get to where we are going? What’s worse, some don’t even know where they are going! What kind of life is this?
If we don’t know where we stand and we don’t know where we are going, how are we create an amazing life…? For what are we striving for? Where is the purpose? Where is the life built by design? How do we create our Masterpiece?
An unowned life doesn’t make sense… Not for nothing this doesn’t feel so good…
So, let’s start by owning the starting point. This is not going to feel so good at first either for it’ll be obvious how much things are not going as you’d prefer, and you created these results so far… But you know what, it’s ok to feel like crap about this because it is crap. Just don’t beat yourself up over it as you didn’t know any better, or couldn’t do any better with who you were then…
See that’s the trick, to create a better version of your life the better version of you needs to come out to play… Your job is to Become your Best Self, for this is how you create your Best Life. Take that to the bank! LOL
…Sit with being extremely unhappy with what you created so far, feel uncomfortable, feel the unease, feel the pain, feel the anger… Sit in the gap… For that’s all it actually is… (Smile. We’ll crack this!)
The next step is to forgive yourself, and never blame those around you…, for what’s happened so far… Start clearing and letting go… Cleanse…
Keep on clearing – get rid of anything you are tolerating… Anything that doesn’t float your boat. Anything that’s an aggravation, inefficient, painful, torturous, a joy kill, etc… This is a great Summer Project by the way.
Feel the feelings that come up, and address the reactions, from yourself and others, as they come up… Don’t push stuff down, shrug it off, dismiss it or keep tolerating it. It’s time to uplevel!
This is probably the most important step. If you give up too quickly or numb yourself through the process…, you won’t get over the hump. You haven’t achieved the tipping point… Keep going. Be present, be persistent, be consistent, stay the course… It pays off, I promise.
Finally, as you go through this, make sure you are super kind, gentle, tender and loving towards yourself… Have compassion for your old self… Appreciate all it was capable of doing and being with the limited resources it had… Now, looking back give yourself credit for all the awesomeness created so far. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a gold star!
This is a powerful exercise in allowing You 2.0 to emerge and come out to play. In allowing yourself to Become your Best Self… This is so good…
Now there is room for the new… Now you get to show up differently, not white-knuckling and drawing for self-discipline… Now there is room for more energy, for flow, for new Habits. This is how you become a High Performer and the Master of your life!
ASSIGNMENT: Decide you want to make a shift and Become the Master of your life. Decide you want to create your Best Life!
Step1- Own where you are at: Take stock of all main areas of your life and rate them as to how satisfied you are in each. Be truthful!
Step2- Forgive yourself for the status quo: Feel the sucky feeling that comes with the reality of things…
Step3- Be kind and compassionate to yourself: Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come with what you had
Step4- Become the Master of your life, create your Best Life: Create new/better Wellness, Connection and Success Habits!
Taking charge, shifting, transforming and creating your Best Life doesn’t have to be impossible. It can be a little challenging, but then so worth it in the end… Take on the challenge and start creating awesomeness today!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
I’m operating with a new mantra, Keep clearing. Doing another round of letting go of the old (like possessions, processes, ways of thinking…), and I’m seriously embracing the concept of entering a New Era… Feeling amazing… Yay! How are you doing?
If we want change to happen, we have to change how we do things… We have to change how we look at things… We have to change how we are showing up, how we are choosing to Be. We have to be different to create a new reality… Change doesn’t just happen. And, especially it doesn’t happen by doing more of the same with stronger conviction… We just dig ourselves more and more into our status quo with that approach…
Our best thinking got us this far. But the mindset, capabilities, and tactics that got us here became outdated. It’s time to level-up if we are to create our best year yet, our best relationship yet, our best life yet. It’s time to clear the old if we are to have space for the new… It’s time to truly embrace our potential, our desires, our calling, our purpose, our mission. It’s time to step-it up if we are to play a bigger game.
Now, please do not let your Ego tell you, I’m good, I don’t need a bigger game… This is just your fear talking! Stop fooling yourself that you want a simple life. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is simple and there is Simple. I’m talking about going for the simple that implies mediocracy… Stop settling!
I’ll take simple vs complex as much as my current brain will allow me. Still working on cracking that code, on letting go of making things complicated… LOL But, I’m saying let’s go for an elegantly simply efficient and productive Grand Life…
We usually can’t snap our finger and switch gears. If it was that simple everyone would be living their Grand Life already… It requires owning our why, owning our values, owning our desires, owning our current level of investment into our values, owning our current level of functioning, and fully owning our current status in all areas of our life… It requires complete ownership, a truthful reality check, and full commitment to create our Grand Life…
Hey, you can choose to have your simple mediocre life. That’s always your prerogative, but then maybe I’m not the lid for your pot. And, that’s OK. I’m here to serve those that want to live their life to their full potential, who want to go for it. I’m here to serve those who want to save their marriage, their relationship. Who want to have an amazing relationship with their Partner.
I’m here to serve those that are not afraid to weather the tough times. Who are willing to do what it takes to stay in the game. Who are willing to look at how they contribute to their status quo, and to change how they do their side. Who are willing to stretch out of their comfort zone.
Who are willing to be uncomfortable as they stretch. Who make being uncomfortable their new norm, for as you keep evolving and creating awesomeness you’ll always be stretching and hence uncomfortable a lot…
Do you get that going for your Grand Life requires you fully show up to your life? Really show up… Are you willing to step up your game? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? If not now when…? Don’t wait for the perfect time to start working on things… In all reality, all it takes is a decision… Decide now you are no longer settling. Decide now to go full on for your Grand Life…
If you are struggling in your relationship or simply are going for its next best version, here is a wonderful relationship investment to do this Valentine’s Season:
Love Launch™
During the 4 Weekends leading to Valentine’s Day (or another occasion, or just because!), you are to make a real concerted investment at nurturing your relationship. Do it with gusto and to please your Partner. Put on the “dating lens” – remember you’d do anything for your partner once upon a time…? Go all out to make an impression. And, YOU enjoy the process as you go…
Include this 14 Day Love Challenge! Start on February 1st, or at any time you want to Jump-Start, Spring-to-Life, or Reset your relationship. Simple, yet powerful, Daily Relationship Nurturing Nuggets. Treat your partner right!
Kudos on subscribing to this Newsletter. Kudos on reading this Issue. Kudos on staying open to bringing your relationship and your life to the next level. Now, let’s do it!
ASSIGNMENT: If you are still on the sidelines, a passive bystander, know that you are just killing time and wasting your life. Why postpone your transformation, your results, having your Grand Life? It just doesn’t make sense! Please, PLEASE, make a commitment to get in the game, I’d hate to leave you behind.
You know that when we really want something, we get it… You know that you have made things happen before when you wanted to… Just decide you are going for it, really going for it not dabbling in it… It makes a MASSIVE difference…
Take a look at the Valentine’s Day Love Launch™ and Love Challenge™ and commit to playing full out – embrace the protocols and work it baby!
Make the commitment to invest in your Love Life… Here is to an amazing Love Season!
Can’t wait to delight you with our next goodie to help you properly invest in your relationship! Stay tuned for details!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Investing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
How are you doing? Hope you are keeping the momentum from the New Year going… As I’m sure you already know, right about now people start floundering with their New Year Resolutions, Intentions and the like… Tomorrow is the 3rd Monday of the New Year and known as Blue Monday…
The end-of-year drive, the holidays merriment and the new year’s excitement all but come crashing down… This is when back to reality hits us like a ton of bricks.
This is when we realize we are not exactly where we want to be, and the New Year’s promises are quickly fading away. This is when we realize real change needs to happen and we don’t necessarily know how to make it happen. We might know what we want to change, we might even know how, but somehow, we can’t get traction…
This is when it becomes obvious that we can’t make changes with just pure willpower and desire… This is when things become bleak and we feel powerless and stuck. If you are rocking the New Year, Congratulations! Just beware that this can still hit you with a delayed impact if you are not proactively preventative…
It is challenging to get traction on the changes we want because unfortunately our brain is working against us – it doesn’t like change. We literally have brain structures to maintain homoeostasis… To keep things in the status quo. We also have our Ego protecting us from growth and change. It perceives these as a threat…
Change in our life is to the brain and ego like viruses are to our body. The defenses come out to attack any intrusion. Hence, we end up sabotaging our very efforts, wishes and desires…
The 3 main areas people usually want changes on are health, relationship and finances. If they use their genius, they might have set goals around these. Never mind mere Resolutions. 25% of people who set resolutions abandon them after 7days! Intentions and Focus Terms are great as icing on the cake, not as substitutes…
We don’t do much better with goals. Only 14% of Americans set goals, only 3% of them write them down, and only 1% of those review them daily when there is a 42% increase in goal achievement by merely setting them… This makes me sad for people’s ability to create what they want in their life…
So, if we go by these stats, it is very likely that you haven’t set goals and most likely that you haven’t written them down. Therefore, if you are serious about creating the life you want, if you are serious about not settling for a mediocre life, if you are serious about having your best human experience, then it is time to take goal setting seriously.
Seriously doesn’t mean this has to be complicated or a major production. Make it as easy as possible. Just go with the basics if you need a starting point: health, relationship and finances… You can tweak this to your heart’s desire of course, but if you make a commitment to embrace creating changes in these 3 areas you will make a significant improvement in your life…
Additionally, if we don’t want to struggle in achieving these goals, we have to make sure we don’t depend on willpower to work on these… Willpower only takes us so far and is limited… It depends on how we feel, our mood, our energy, our time, etc. If we are to achieve what we want, if we are to create the life we desire, we can’t leave it to chance…
How do we make sure we keep our goals forefront and actively work on them?
FIRST, we have to have a strong desire to achieve them. We have to have a strong Why behind them to inspire us and keep us motivated…
SECOND, we have to set ourselves up to achieve them, with structure and systems… This means we have to set up our daily life with routines around achieving these goals. And, we have to set up the routines with related Habits to automate our investment and take the effort out of it… Voila!
What do you say? Are you ready to really create the life you desire, your best life? Are you ready to set yourself up for an amazing decade? Are you ready for your best year yet? What do you say? Don’t be the majority statistic. Don’t let Blue Monday be a reality for you. Don’t let another year pass by without making a dent in creating the life you really want…
ASSIGNMENT: There is plenty of info out there on how. There are plenty of people having a say on all this. Your job is not to get more info and keep postponing your results. There is plenty on this blog anyway, even on this post alone, to help you get started… Your job is to decide you are going for it, commit to it and get started.
Here is your basic Strategy in its simplest form:
Step 1: Create 1 measurable stretch goal for your 3 life areas, with strong Whys for each
Step 2: Add 3 concrete recurring behaviors to each goal
Step 3: Integrate the recurring behaviors into your daily/weekly/monthly routine(s)
Don’t let this significant time pass you by. The sooner you plan and set your goals, the sooner you’ll start working on them, the longer you’ll have a chance to achieve them… You can rock this!
Make a commitment to no longer settle. Make a commitment to live your best life. Set yourself up to create what you desire right now. Seriously, do your Strategy now – start the week right, start the rest of your life right!
And, because we know it’s not easy to make changes on our own, we are creating some new goodies to help you with the Relationship & Connection area… Stay tuned for more details coming soon!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Strategizing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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