It’s funny how we start a relationship because of attraction and interest in each other, only to have that dwindle or get lost in the everyday grind as we progress to a higher level of commitment and create a shared life together. As we move from romantic partners to life partners, there’s often a struggle because this isn’t an ideal state for couples. They need to be partners in love first.
Couples need to be lovers. But when they focus too much on the business of life, they dampen that part of the relationship. The result? They struggle not only with feeling connected but also with being good life partners.
And what’s interesting is that many couples tolerate the loss of romance but fight hard to make the partnership side work. This is where they hit friction, sometimes so intense and conflictual that the relationship completely breaks down.
It’s challenging to address this when partners are already feeling disconnected and stuck in a negative place. That’s why our Successful Relationship Strategy™ focuses on shifting mindset and resetting how partners approach each other and the relationship first.
Then, we work on communication and alignment, removing bad habits and unhealthy interaction patterns that weaken the bond. This helps partners get on the same page more easily so they can go deeper in creating the relationship and life they want.
Finally, we address emotional patterns that drive the dynamic and focus on rebuilding connection and intimacy.
When couples go about creating their shared life from a strong mindset—aligned, resourced, and connected—it becomes much easier to collaborate.
These elements flow best in this order, but they’re not mutually exclusive. They can be worked on simultaneously and continue to evolve as the couple grows.
That said, even with a strong romantic connection, couples may still struggle with how to be great partners in life…
Great Partners in Life
Being great partners in life means we properly position our partner and our relationship for their due importance in our life… This is a requirement for creating the strongest partnership. We have to embrace a higher perspective for proper life Journey…
Mindset Shift 1: Our Partner with a Capital P.
Our partner is our Partner, THE partner of all partners… They are the one we chose to have our Journey, our grand human experience, and create our extraordinary life with. If that is not a significant role in our life, I don’t know what is…
The problem is that partners lose sight of this mega role and treat their partner worse than they treat strangers sometimes… Isn’t that nuts?
The key is to reset how we look at our partner, their priority in our life, and treat them with the due reverence their role warrants. As well as bring back the couplehood aspect, the romantical aspect, to keep the energy alive… This is the relationship juice, the creative energy that fuels everything.
It is very easy to get too busy and forget to even acknowledge our partner and their importance. And to neglect our relationship…
SHIFT- Create a cadence for couple time and protect it with your life.
Mindset Shift 2: Our Partner is Our Ally
Being true partners means being allies. But too often, couples get stuck in power struggles, unconsciously trying to get their needs met. They lose sight of the fact that they’re on the same side. Instead, they treat each other like enemies, with suspicion, mistrust, control, manipulation, and other nasty tactics.
This only creates a downward spiral of disconnection and dissatisfaction.
These patterns can get so entrenched and pervasive that the partners dig their heals in until things break.
SHIFT- Reframe your partner as your ally and address a stuck issue with this perspective.
Mindset Shift 3: The Relationship is the Mechanism for Transformation and Mastery
Something that gets overlooked is that our relationship is our playground. A space where we get to explore, practice, discover, and master our skills, strengths, and selves.
In our relating there is so much potential for our expansion and for creation…
SHIFT- Identify one personal growth area and explore it with your partner until it’s mastered.
Your Attraction is Your Glue
Our initial attraction happens at an unconscious and subconscious level. So if you have a checklist you are measuring your partner against, you’d do well to just chuck it.
The truth is, we were attracted to each other for a reason. Our programming brought us together as part of a grander design- to create the human experience we desire. Cracking those codes is part of the Game of Life.
The key is in increasing our awareness of what’s playing out and be intentional in how we interact so we can uplevel our cocreation…
Appreciate Complementary Aspects and Uniqueness
Opposites attract for a reason. Our partner has complementary characteristics and strengths to our own, and their own special flavor. At first, we find these differences incredible. But later, we start holding them against each other. How ridiculous is that? Instead of resisting them, we could be capitalizing on their awesomeness.
APPLICATION- Identify one of your partner’s complementary strengths, acknowledge it, and discuss how you can leverage it together.\
Appreciate Play on Sensitivities
Another part of the attraction, is that our partner has the uncanny ability to trigger our old wounds (because of the unconscious match), and vice versa.
But this is gold, it offers the perfect opportunity for healing and growing…
APPLICATION- Select one of your sensitivities, share with your partner what’s underneath it, and discuss what would help soothe it.
Playing the Game of Life
Too often, we put our heads down and grind through life. Before we know it, we’ve spent years with blinders on, not truly creating the life we want.
We get stuck in routines, neglect joy, and sometimes leave a trail of collateral damage- our health, our relationships, our family, our creativity, and our impact.
How do we play the game of life? We play to win…
And to win, we need to know how to play the game and what winning looks like.
We can all have different definitions of winning, the key is for us to know what those are for ourselves and for our partner and to get on the same page about them for an aligned approach, and fulfilling, meaningful, harmonies and joyful journey.
EXPLORE THESE TOGETHER:
~ What kind of love do we want to experience?
~ What kind of relationship do we want to create?
~ What kind of life do we want to build?
~ What kind of experiences, impact, creations do we want to pursue?
If you are not asking these questions, you’re just going through the motions… These help you better align with your partner, for an easier and more joyful Journey…
Intentionally Design and Live Your Life
If we don’t know what we’re creating, we create by default. Our programming has a field day creating a reactive and painful life. Our defenses have a relationship with our partner’s defenses creating a relationship riddled with friction, codependence, and misalignment. We don’t get very far with this approach.
But if we:
~ Reset our relationship mindset
~ Invest in prioritizing ourselves and our relationship
~ Strengthen our connection and meet our needs
~ Tap into our synergy- our relationship juice
~ Align on a life vision
Then, bam! We create the life we deeply desire… When these things are in place, everything flows. Without them life is uphill battle.
The Practical in the Collaboration
The soft side of relationships, the mindset, connection, and synergy, drives success. But let’s be real, the practical side matters too! A strong partnership needs systems and habits that support it.
Here are some key collaboration tactics to keep things running smoothly (check out the podcast time stamps for more in-depth description of these):
Shared Calendar – Keep track of shared responsibilities, appointments, events, and reminders in a calendar you both have access to.
PRO TIP: Bonus points for using collaborative tools or apps to manage the business of life efficiently.
Weekly Sync-Up – Every Sunday, check in about the upcoming week. Get on the same page about schedules, responsibilities, and anything that needs attention.
Division of Labor– Divide and conquer, don’t let one person carry the entire mental load. Use a shared responsibilities list to divide tasks fairly.
*Get our FREE Downloadable to master your division of labor
Staying Current – Keep communication open with regular check-ins:
~ Morning coffee chats
~ End-of-day debriefs
~ Visioning sessions
~ Planning meetings
~ Financial reviews
Outsourcing – If a task doesn’t require your unique skills and you can afford to outsource it, do it! Life is too short to spend time on the mundane.
Transitions – Most arguments happen during transition times- coming home, shifting tasks, starting or ending the day. Be extra mindful and intentional during these moments.
Weekend Planning – Avoid last-minute stress and mismatched expectations by discussing weekend plans before Friday hits.
Morning Routines – Start your morning routine the night before. Reduce morning chaos by prepping in advance. A smoother start sets the tone for the day.
Vacationing – Identify the expectations, the flavor and what would make it successful as you plan it…
Being Proactive – If the same arguments keep coming up, fix the root issue. Identify patterns, address them directly, and put a lasting solution in place.
This can feel like a lot to address at the same time, I know. But you don’t have to overhaul everything overnight.
Just pick one of these strategies that resonated with you and take action on it today. Even the smallest investment can make a big difference. Intentionality is key. As you make these shifts, you’ll notice everything starts changing…
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
Realign for More Love in Your Relationship, Learn How to Date Your Partner Often when couples struggle in their relationship, or when they feel they are in a bit of a slump, it has to do with Relationship Neglect… When life gets hectic with demands and we barely have time to sleep, the further thing from our mind is being cute in our relationship. Because we are so used to a life of grind, this state of affairs is common. Where the relationship and our bond take a major blow. The relationship can sustain challenging times, but ongoing neglect takes its toll. There are specific factors that play a role during these difficult times, that can at times be pervasive in the relationship making matters worse. Shifting these is key to getting out of the slump along with intentionally and effortlessly investing in the relationship.
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW!
Resources
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership– Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast? Contact us about a possible collaboration!
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
It is not uncommon for couples to feel they are in a slump. Specially during the cold winter months when we tend to hibernate, have the winter blues, or just totally feel out of sorts. Relationships can lose their spark. But when this feeling lingers beyond seasonal blues, it can erode intimacy, connection, and the overall bond between partners.
What’s tricky is that many couples don’t even recognize they’re in a slump. They assume this is just what happens in long-term relationships. They settle into routine, accepting an “okay” relationship instead of striving for something deeper, richer, and more fulfilling.
The partners that struggle are the ones dear to my heart, because they feel the possibility for more and they are rebelling against being mediocre. I say, Good on you. Your struggle is just a way of shaking things up. To have both partners’ attention making changes for the radiant and successful relationship and epic love you desire…
Being in a slump or experiencing relationship struggle is an unpleasant, challenging, and disconcerting experience to say the least. The disconnect, loneliness, emptiness, conflict, frustration, resentment, hopelessness, can totally take a toll on the couple as well as the partners themselves… These partners are a loss for how to regain their connection, feel their love, and create alignment and aliveness in their relationship.
I truly commend the couples that have the courage to admit they are struggling and invest in transforming and upleveling their relationship. My hat off to you!
6 Signs of a Relationship Slump
Partners can experience their struggle or averageness in a variety of ways. The more of these ways they experience, the more difficult and painful their situation. But regardless of how severe their experience is, they can turn their relationship around by investing in it…
Here are 6 signs that your love life needs a reboot:
1~ The relationship doesn’t make it to the priority list – It’s interesting how often partners complain of feeling disconnected, but they don’t make any time to spend with each other. Or, they might have some time together, or even a lot, but it lacks depth and meaning. Being in the same room doesn’t constitute as quality couple time… And this goes beyond making time for each other. There is also little courtesy, kindness, tenderness, nurturing, attentiveness, mindfulness…
2~ The connection is dampened, the bond is frayed – Aside from not spending quality time together, the partners might do things that cut at their bond. Crossing boundaries and being neglectful, mean, inconsiderate, absent, controlling, manipulative and so on, are all tactics that make the partners put up defenses and keep their heart locked away.
3~ The romance got lost in translation – Partners allow the busyness of life to pull them away from what is actually the most important asset in their life… Their Partner in their Journey… And this is not merely a partner to create a life together – which couples also get wrong by the way. But a partner in Love… This part of the relationship is at the crux of our human experience… This is how we create the energy and flavor of our life, our shared life… And the romance is what activates the romantic feelings! This is where the essence of the partners get invited to play… Now this doesn’t have to be T.V. style romance. We can have a real life, down to earth approach that is more realistic and powerful.
4~ The attraction fizzled – The attraction doesn’t just fizzle. It fizzles because it is as if it was smothered by a damp cloth of insults, injuries, betrayals, let downs, neglect, rejection… When we are constantly in doing mode, like ships passing in the night, totally exhausted, not resourced, and at the mercy of our and our partner’s poor mood states, we are in the crossfires for survival. Then never mind being radiant and full of life that creates attraction… Add to that both partners usually being in their masculine energy, a formula for a dead sex life.
5~ The lovers are MIA – Then it makes sense that the lovers are MIA. There is no juice, no attraction to speak of, a lack of exhausted energy, no polarized energy between the genders, and a pervasive conscious or unconscious feeling of resentment and contempt. A lack of trust. No emotional safety. How are the partners to really let go to be present as real lovers?
6~ The intimacy is mechanical or superficial, or nonexistent – So then obviously the intimacy suffers. There is very little of it and the little that’s there is not what it could be… Partners are not on the same page about what intimacy they prefer, they might not even be in touch with what they prefer. And additionally, they struggle creating the space for any intimacy. Everything else gets in the way…
Now, couples can have some or all of these, and to varying degrees. No one couple is the same. And they each bring their unique set of circumstances to their story and situation along with their own uniqueness, needs and desires. So, don’t compare yourself with your friends. Each couple is special. Yes, there are similar patterns that are inherent to couples, relationships, and the human condition. But let the comparison stop there.
11 Power Moves to Transform Your Relationship
It doesn’t have to be difficult, complex, or intimidating investing in our relationship so we can turn it around, or to take it to the next level. It can actually be quite simple…
There might be mental health issues, unique patterns, and level of development the partners bring to the table that might require additional attention, nonetheless the basics are the same.
Bring your Best Self to your interactions to the best of your ability.
If this in and of itself is challenging, then professional support might be indicated for you. You know you need assistance if you or your partner have a difficult time doing the things recommended below. Or you try these but feel that a stronger dose of relationship know-how medicine is needed… We are here for you if you need support!
Now, on to the things to bring to your interactions to get out of the slump or to uplevel your relationship
Flirtation
Playfulness
Curiosity
Interest
Attunement
Adoration
Devotion
Affection
Connection
Intimacy
Passion
Check out the podcast episode below for a description of these!
You might be struggling in your relationship, your relationship might in a slump, or you are looking to just take things to the next level. Regardless of your relationship status, the key is to bring commitment to making it work and to creating what you desire, to bring our Best Self to it, and to invest in it to keep it fresh and vibrant.
Embrace the power moves mentioned above, cultivate rich states around them to activate good relationship vibes, and shower your partner and your relationship with that TLC.
~ Play – Experiment with the moves and characteristics to keep things activating and elevating
~ Practice – Cultivate the states around each power move to make them accessible as you go
~ Pledge – Honor your commitment to your partner and the relationship, be all in to crack the codes
Realign for More Love in Your Relationship, Learn How to Date Your Partner Often when couples struggle in their relationship, or when they feel they are in a bit of a slump, it has to do with Relationship Neglect… When life gets hectic with demands and we barely have time to sleep, the further thing from our mind is being cute in our relationship. Because we are so used to a life of grind, this state of affairs is common. Where the relationship and our bond take a major blow. The relationship can sustain challenging times, but ongoing neglect takes its toll. There are specific factors that play a role during these difficult times, that can at times be pervasive in the relationship making matters worse. Shifting these is key to getting out of the slump along with intentionally and effortlessly investing in the relationship.
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW!
Resources
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership– Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast? Contact us about a possible collaboration!
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Couples that are experiencing a low in their relationship usually refer to it as having communication issues and not getting along. They bicker and fight, fights escalate and then there is shutdown, they don’t see eye-to-eye and can’t seem to get on the same page, they struggle to get their needs met, everything is a tit-for-tat or keeping score, and they just can’t enjoy each other. They feel disconnected and alone. Intimacy is but a faraway dream. Does this resonate for you? Are you wondering how to get back your connection and intimacy?
Note, that the bickering, fights, and impasses might take on any flavor, where it feels like these are the issues to contend with… They might be on chores, money, children, in-laws and the like, but when partners feel Connected they figure these things out… Whatever your impasse and issue, please be open to the idea that that is actually not the issue…
Because our mind, sense of self, dynamics and dreams are so elusive we have no better way to communicate about what is happening and address what’s needed head on, so we get entrenched on a topic or concern and make it about that… Whatever is not working in the relationship manifests as issues on the weeds of life… We lose sight of the awesomeness of our relationship and our partner… We lose perspective and get lost…
Our job is to transcend the minutia and weeds, the things and topics troubling us, and get a grip on the emotional and relational aspect of what is playing out. And, this my friends, is the Gift in whatever issue you are having… For when you figure out how to address this (from heart/love not head/ego) and shift the stuckness, you are able to get on the same page, change patterns and get your needs met, connect and enjoy intimacy, and easily collaborate…
Of course, you still need to ongoingly mind your mind, use great communication skills, attend to yours and your partner’s needs, nurture your relationship, and set up systems for working well together.
Note, it’s challenging to do anything good for the relationship if we are crooked on how we look at our partner and our relationship. It’s virtually impossible to have great communication, connection and collaboration if we are looking at our partner as the enemy… It’s impossible to change patterns and create what we won’t if we have a dirty operating system…
Also note, that whatever issue you are hang up on it becomes almost irrelevant once you shifted your mindset, got on the same page, and are attending to each other… At that point, only systems for working together are needed… But these are super challenging to put in place and honor when you are being funky… This is why most of my writing focuses on the mindset side of things and self-care to help you get unstuck and self-regulate – both help with reprogramming… You are welcome.
Once you shift from looking at your partner as the enemy, the rest is much easier including nurturing the relationship… Relationship nurturing is the antidote for breakdowns and the lubricant for manifesting and creating the relationship and life you want…
Assuming you have been working on your mindset and are no longer blaming your partner for the status of things, then we can do a little Connection work…
It helps to look at Connection as a verb, something that is actively pursued and nurtured. Most partners assume they’ll just feel connected, forever… And, that their connection is bulletproof… It can be, but it isn’t automatically…
Let’s start with the basics:
Individual Brilliance – To make sure you minimize angst and turmoil in your relationship and create a strong, loving and successful relationship, make sure you embrace a tolerance for differences, individuality, and separateness. This might sound counter intuitive as we are talking about connection and building intimacy. But believe it or not, this is what keeps things interesting and alive… You are bound to get into a rut when you obsess about similarities, agreement and togetherness…
Connection Habits – To make sure we invest in nurturing our relationship, the simplest and easiest way is to create Connection Habits™and integrate them into our daily routine… Connection Habits are tangible, concrete and repeatable actions of a TLC nature – loving, caring, affectionate, compassionate, giving, attuned, present, touching base, checking in, reaching out, and the like…
Dating Your Partner – To make sure you keep things sexy and alive you have to get out of the grind and go on dates. And, for these dates to be rewarding and effective, you have to leave your roles at home and only show up with You. With your male or female energy and the essence of you… It’s a whole different ball game when you don’t bring your to-dos, issues, expectations and dynamics with you… Be prepared to be pleasantly surprised…
Going back to the point of how you look at your partner and your relationship, these basics become challenging when you are going through a rough time in your relationship. You would most likely be threatened/triggered by differences, individuality and separateness… You are unlikely to feel like doing any TLC. And, you are unlikely to feel like planning and going on a date and enjoying the after party. (Wink!)
Therefore, if you are struggling with these, make sure you go back to your mindset and your perspective. That needs attention first if you are to be able to get on to the good stuff…
ASSIGNMENT: Identify if you are ready to work on Connection or if you still need to uplevel your Relationship Mindset™…
To increase your Connection, intimacy and fun select which of these you want to start with:
Individual Brilliance – Build-in time for yourselves into your routine to do what you like, then share about it with each other. Bring new energy to the interaction…
Connection Habits – Pick an action you can commit to doing every day to give your partner TLC – add it to your daily routine.
Dating Your Partner – Commit to at least Monthly Dates. Take turns planning them with the aim to please your partner…
Commit to nurturing the relationship and to having fun doing it!
Keep investing in your Relationship Enrichment, keep working the 5 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™. Today we played with Context/Mindset (E1) and Connection/Intimacy (E4). Woot!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
I’m operating with a new mantra, Keep clearing. Doing another round of letting go of the old (like possessions, processes, ways of thinking…), and I’m seriously embracing the concept of entering a New Era… Feeling amazing… Yay! How are you doing?
If we want change to happen, we have to change how we do things… We have to change how we look at things… We have to change how we are showing up, how we are choosing to Be. We have to be different to create a new reality… Change doesn’t just happen. And, especially it doesn’t happen by doing more of the same with stronger conviction… We just dig ourselves more and more into our status quo with that approach…
Our best thinking got us this far. But the mindset, capabilities, and tactics that got us here became outdated. It’s time to level-up if we are to create our best year yet, our best relationship yet, our best life yet. It’s time to clear the old if we are to have space for the new… It’s time to truly embrace our potential, our desires, our calling, our purpose, our mission. It’s time to step-it up if we are to play a bigger game.
Now, please do not let your Ego tell you, I’m good, I don’t need a bigger game… This is just your fear talking! Stop fooling yourself that you want a simple life. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is simple and there is Simple. I’m talking about going for the simple that implies mediocracy… Stop settling!
I’ll take simple vs complex as much as my current brain will allow me. Still working on cracking that code, on letting go of making things complicated… LOL But, I’m saying let’s go for an elegantly simply efficient and productive Grand Life…
We usually can’t snap our finger and switch gears. If it was that simple everyone would be living their Grand Life already… It requires owning our why, owning our values, owning our desires, owning our current level of investment into our values, owning our current level of functioning, and fully owning our current status in all areas of our life… It requires complete ownership, a truthful reality check, and full commitment to create our Grand Life…
Hey, you can choose to have your simple mediocre life. That’s always your prerogative, but then maybe I’m not the lid for your pot. And, that’s OK. I’m here to serve those that want to live their life to their full potential, who want to go for it. I’m here to serve those who want to save their marriage, their relationship. Who want to have an amazing relationship with their Partner.
I’m here to serve those that are not afraid to weather the tough times. Who are willing to do what it takes to stay in the game. Who are willing to look at how they contribute to their status quo, and to change how they do their side. Who are willing to stretch out of their comfort zone.
Who are willing to be uncomfortable as they stretch. Who make being uncomfortable their new norm, for as you keep evolving and creating awesomeness you’ll always be stretching and hence uncomfortable a lot…
Do you get that going for your Grand Life requires you fully show up to your life? Really show up… Are you willing to step up your game? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? If not now when…? Don’t wait for the perfect time to start working on things… In all reality, all it takes is a decision… Decide now you are no longer settling. Decide now to go full on for your Grand Life…
If you are struggling in your relationship or simply are going for its next best version, here is a wonderful relationship investment to do this Valentine’s Season:
Love Launch™
During the 4 Weekends leading to Valentine’s Day (or another occasion, or just because!), you are to make a real concerted investment at nurturing your relationship. Do it with gusto and to please your Partner. Put on the “dating lens” – remember you’d do anything for your partner once upon a time…? Go all out to make an impression. And, YOU enjoy the process as you go…
Include this 14 Day Love Challenge! Start on February 1st, or at any time you want to Jump-Start, Spring-to-Life, or Reset your relationship. Simple, yet powerful, Daily Relationship Nurturing Nuggets. Treat your partner right!
Kudos on subscribing to this Newsletter. Kudos on reading this Issue. Kudos on staying open to bringing your relationship and your life to the next level. Now, let’s do it!
ASSIGNMENT: If you are still on the sidelines, a passive bystander, know that you are just killing time and wasting your life. Why postpone your transformation, your results, having your Grand Life? It just doesn’t make sense! Please, PLEASE, make a commitment to get in the game, I’d hate to leave you behind.
You know that when we really want something, we get it… You know that you have made things happen before when you wanted to… Just decide you are going for it, really going for it not dabbling in it… It makes a MASSIVE difference…
Take a look at the Valentine’s Day Love Launch™ and Love Challenge™ and commit to playing full out – embrace the protocols and work it baby!
Make the commitment to invest in your Love Life… Here is to an amazing Love Season!
Can’t wait to delight you with our next goodie to help you properly invest in your relationship! Stay tuned for details!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Investing!
Copyright (c) 2020 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we embark on a new era… I want you to come along… I want your life to continue to become better and better as well. I want us to continue to Design and enjoy our Best Life. I want us to continue to have an amazing Human Experience and for it to get better every day.
Now, I know that the holidays are tough for most… I also know that even though we are all pumped with the New Year, the new decade!, that in a few weeks people crash… I also know that people still have challenges and struggles in life… This is why I’m writing the current sequence, I’m getting to it – I promise!, to help you realign your relationship and kick-off the New Year with pizzazz!
But, I’m not naïve in thinking that a few blog posts are enough, though I try to give you so much, to help you change your life if you are feeling stuck and are struggling. This is why I want to offer you the opportunity to easily get support to help you over the hump. You can really make this your best year yet… How about it , will you let us help you?
Ok, and now on to Element4 of our Sequence for better implementing theSuccessful Couple Strategy™:
Element1 – Context & Mindset
Element2 – Communication & Alignment
Element3 – Clarity & Dynamics
Element4 – Connection & Intimacy
Element5 – Collaboration & Partnership
Today’s topic – Stopping the disconnect by getting your swag on. Aside from not moving forward in the relationship, not feeling supported, not getting along and arguing a lot, feeling disconnected from our partner is a top contender for couples not feeling satisfied and happy in their relationship, and in their life…
Feeling disconnected is a real tough one, it eats at your soul… Where there is fighting there is passion. But with disconnect there is deeper, black, gut wrenching pain…
Disconnect breeds feelings of aloneness, loneliness, rejection, unworthiness, despair, hopelessness which in turn trigger anxiety and depression, and other goodies… I’ll spare you the heaviness of presenting this topic from this angle. But know that all this is very serious and dangerous to our wellbeing. Feeling disconnected is not to be taken lightly.
I want to address the topic instead from my usual lighter and more practical angle to prompt your shift… I offer an alternate perspective to how you might usually look at things, that keeps you stuck… When you change your usual lens, you can more easily realign and create the changes you seek… You can more easily get out of your own way… You can effortlessly invite, allow, and cocreate what you Desire…
This is the gentle, loving and compassionate way of saying you contribute to your disconnect… Hang on if you had a reaction just then… Don’t shoot the messenger! LOL I know that when we feel disconnected we usually blame our partner for it… We claim they are too busy.
They don’t care as much as we do. They are insensitive and don’t have feelings. They are too arrogant. They are narcissistic… I’m not taking away from any of these. They are probably true! So what!?
These do not mean you cannot have a caring, loving, satisfying and happy relationship with your partner. This just means you have work to do… This means there is a reason you attracted and are with this partner… If this is what you got, this is what you need…
This is your second chance at getting what you didn’t get back then… [Refer to the last issue/post] Hey, again, don’t shoot the messenger. You can always choose to try again with someone else. But, while we are here, we might as well try it my way. Ok? What have you got to lose?
When we feel disconnected from our partner is because we are choosing to focus on everything our partner is doing wrong… We think, and even usually vocalize, how we think they should be, operate, feel and the like. We go in their circle… We don’t followgood boundaries protocols…
When we are in their circle, we are not in ours… When we are in their circle, they feel crowded and shy away… When we are not in ours, we are disempowered and unattractive… Bam!
This is part of what creates disconnect… There are a lot of other factors but tackling this is the quickest way to start creating change… When we get out of our partner’s circle, they can stop withdrawing, running, hiding and the like. All of a sudden, they are more available and interested…
When we come back into our own circle, we feel amazing! For that’s where we are supposed to be. There is awesomeness in our circle. There is power and beauty in our circle. This is where we have Swag…
When we own ourselves, embody our Authentic, our Higher Self, and show up with our Best Self, then there is no chance in heck that our partner can ignore us, not be interested in us, not be attracted to us and not want to do everything for us… This is on us. We only get this when we don’t demand it… We only get this when we do Us…
And, then there wouldn’t be disconnect anyway… (Wink!)
ASSIGNMENT: By Golly, stop focusing on how your partner sucks and start focusing on how to do You better! That’s it. Seriously. It’s time to stop whining and start owning your life. What can you take on by the horns? It’s a New Year.
It can be a New You if you mean business. It’s time. Get off the sidelines and get in the game. It’s time for a new Relationship (with your partner), a new Life. And, it all starts with You. Change the focus to your Self and how to continue to become your Best Self.
When you have You, there is no disconnect… When you have you, your Partner has you… This is where the disconnect goes away… Enjoy You, and enjoy a newfound Connection…
Next week’s issue is the last of the Series. Don’t miss it! I’ll be covering how create a Strong Partnership in the New Year! Here is to our Best Year Yet!!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Connecting!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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