As we settle into the New Year, many of us are exploring and integrating our new habits, tactics, practices, and routines… While the cold weather may not be my favorite, I love this season for one reason: It’s the perfect opportunity for a fresh start. And what’s more exciting than the chance to reset, realign, and step boldly onto a Grand New Path?
Failing to be intentional about how we begin a new year, or any significant milestone, is a missed opportunity. This is your moment to course-correct, realign for something meaningful, and set yourself up for your Best Year Yet.
Whether you’ve dabbled in Life Planning, Visioning, Shared Visioning, Goal Setting, New Year’s Resolutions, or simply Setting Intentions, now is the time to uplevel.
Here’s the secret: creating the life we desire boils down to three key steps:
Identifying what we desire.
Aligning ourselves with those desires.
Mapping out a plan to make them a reality.
But here’s the catch: too often, we don’t even know what we’re working toward. We haven’t thought about what kind of life we want to live. We have no idea what our needs are, and we want in our relationship and from our partner… We don’t know or practice what keeps us healthy and what gives up joy…
This is not how we create our Best Life, our Extraordinary Life and Epic Love…
Now, please, I don’t want to hear your thoughts that you are not interested in creating that. That you are OK with an Ok or Ordinary Life… If that were true, you wouldn’t be reading this… Please be honest with yourself and finally Align yourself with your desires, your purpose, your radiant Human Experience… Or, what’s even the point of everything if we are not going for it?
If we are going to Play the Game, let’s PLAY the Game… Don’t sign up for it and then sit on the sidelines… Get me?
Your Blueprint for Success
Now, it is not sufficient to finally own what we desire and create a vision… We need a mechanism for creating the thing… We need a map, a plan, a strategy, a system, a structure of sorts…
Regardless of what mechanism you choose, what you are going for is a way to stay the course, to not rely on self-discipline and will power, to keep you focused, and inspired and motivated…
Here’s how to set yourself up for success:
~ Establish self-care, self-love, and joy practices in your everyday…
~ Be intentional and graceful with how you show-up for yourself, your relationship and your life…
~ Implement aligned, leveraged habits in your daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly routines…
~ Seek support by outsourcing, automating and delegating to create more efficiency and flow…
~ Commit to personal growth and relationship enrichment on an ongoing basis…
By designing a lifestyle that supports your dreams, you’re creating a roadmap to success in every area of life. This is how you win the game of life and experience it as the Grand Adventure it’s meant to be.
So, make it your business to Map Out Your Lifestyle with practices that support the relationship and life experience you want to have.
>> Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
A brand spanking new year, and the start of a New Quarter Century, #Q2Y2K. Isn’t that something? Big milestone years give me the tingles. I find them super exciting as markers and opportunities for grand gestures, grand plans or intentions, and absolutely for Grand New Beginnings. This is an opportunity to reset ourselves, our relationship, and our life. To set ourselves on a new path, for a new future. We can choose what we want this next segment of time to be like in our Journey… We can design our ideal future. Embracing this perspective is super empowering for having the Experience we desire… Here is to New Year Goals to uplevel our relationship and our life.
But this might feel like an enormous undertaking, intimidating and too elusive to tackle… You might wonder, where do I even start to create such a Grand New Beginning… I hear you.
Fear not, let’s make this accessible, manageable as well as fun!
First off, though we can use great milestone years as measurements of time, big transitions, and give them any meaning we like, as we are doing here as a motivational and inspirational perspective- let’s remember that time is actually non-linear…
In time-space reality, everything we want to achieve or create or experience is already here… Everything is happening right now- past, present, and future. All possible realities. Everything… I’ll spare us even the most basic lesson in quantum physics and the interconnectedness of everything… I’m just a curious quantum physics enthusiast. But you can dig into this on your own if you are also curious about what is possible for our Experience…
So our brain and mind don’t go on the fritz, creating more resistance to change than we might already experience, let’s tackle this from our usual perspective, as if time is linear… But just know that I’ll be tricky and sprinkle in tactics and practices to effortlessly activate us for our Grander Experience… You are welcome.
How to Set a Vision for the New Quarter Century
Ok, so we don’t have to overcomplicate it, philosophize too much, or make it scary to go for a Grander Experience in our life…
If you find that you are thinking things like: My life is perfectly fine as is. Or, I have no idea of what I want and don’t even know where to start, even thinking about this is too overwhelming. Or, Going for Grander is too much, I don’t have it in me to work harder for more. Or, I’m barely surviving and managing my life and my relationship, never mind this grand idea. Or, some version of these. Then, your mindset needs a little decluttering so you don’t hold yourself back from what is possible for you, your relationship and your life…
Let’s start there and then go for it!
Declutter Your Mindset for Transformation
What got us here won’t get us there… If you are looking to uplevel your relationship and your life, you need to uplevel your approach to them…
These things will no longer cut it: Focusing on what doesn’t work or how unhappy we might be, victimizing ourselves, not believing in ourselves or our worthiness birthright, lacking a vision and goals, stretching ourselves thin and rejecting support or blessings, taking life too seriously and getting stuck in the weeds, lacking strategy and systems, lacking focus, prioritization, and periodization, neglecting ourselves, not cultivating joy, not investing in deepening connections, blaming our partner…
These are a Lower-Self way of operating… They keep us in the grind, in disappointment and pain, symptoms or breakdowns riddled, in repeating dissatisfying patterns, and just experiencing a mediocre relationship and life at best…
Once you feel realigned with a Higher Perspective… and are committed to embracing and practicing a different approach, you can dive into what kind of relationship and life you want to create, experience, live…
This is where you explore your dreams, your heart’s desires. Where you create a relationship and life vision. Where you identify your goals and design a way of life and work to help you achieve them. Where you go for the epic s*t you want to experience and live in this lifetime. Where you fulfill your Prime Directive, your Soul’s Directive, of what it wants to experience and how it wants to expand…
THIS IS WHERE – You explore what is the Highest Potential you can imagine for every area of your life. For if you can see it, envision it, it means that you can achieve it… Your brain and mind can’t fathom the unfathomable. Get creative, go all out, dream big, go for the BHAG (big hairy audacious goal), think about what would make your life superhuman, super extraordinary, and what this means about the person you need to become – how you stretch into the best version of you… You 5.0! Commit to getting on the path for a Journey to that magnificent destination. For if you even achieve 10% of that massive vision, you’ve done better for yourself than if you hadn’t gone for any vision at all…
Here is a list of the life areas to ponder and play with, but you can tweak this list to better fit your circumstance:
Health, fitness, mental health, spirituality
Personal development, personal growth, character strengths
Romantic relationship / partnership
Parenting, family
Social, friendships, communities, networks
Work, career, profession, business
Financial health, income streams, assets, wealth, financial freedom
After we get out of our own way with how we experience and create our life, envision what is possible and commit to having a Grander Experience, then we are ready to create, manifest, what we desire… We can go for a Supreme Reality!
What does this mean? It means we commit to creating our life by design and invest in living the design…
THIS MEANS – We identify the micro processes and choices we need to put in place and make on a consistent basis for the cumulative result of creating what we want. We moderate the grind- we still drill and focus and prioritize and choose intentionally how to live all our moments. But we do not hustle, overdo it, drive ourselves into the groundor neglect what is important in the Journey. We invest in systems and support for a softer approach and a worthy Journey… We cultivate Joy…
So, we make an investment in the top 3 life areas that need the most attention for a leveraged upleveling of our relationship and our life. These are usually: Health, Relationship/s, and Prosperity for people. What are yours? Take an immediate action to start moving the needle forward in them… Implement a new habit, tactic, practice, or have the conversation, set the boundary, make the call, set up the appointment, book the thing, and so on…
THIS ALSO MEANS – Getting on the same page with your partner… Discussing values, dreams, goals, priorities, tactics, habits to design your shared life and how to integrate those elements to create the relationship and life you both love!
>> Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
And, my Lovelies, is how we start this New Year on the right foot on the right path for a magnificent Journey this New Quarter Century! What will your relationship and your life look like in 25 years if you made a dent in your Vision this year…? Good stuff, right?
Let’s commit to staying the course. Get whatever support you need to help you along- let’s do this!
With Much Love & Light!
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Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Communication skills and tools are not just necessary for getting on the same page, making joint decisions and problem solving effectively. They are also indispensable for more deeply understanding each other and warmly flowing in our interactions with our partner. Excellent communication also helps increase our bonding.
Feeling understood is an existential human need… In feeling that the other “gets” us, we feel Known and that we exist… Feeling understood engenders feelings of belonging, being accepted, and safety. This is pretty much at the core of things! This is why it’s super important to use our skills and tools to make sure we get our partner, and others, when we are in our interactions with them.
And, with that it goes without saying how super important it is to show them that we got them… This is where the validation step in the Intentional Dialogue comes in. This is the step that partners forget in interactions that crashes the conversation and possibly even leads to a fight.
Equally important is to communicate so our partner can understand us, and to seek confirmation that we were understood.
Interactions don’t have to go south… Most of the time when couples refer to communication problems, they are actually referring to emotionally charged issues and conversations. They can’t communicate well when they are triggered… Which makes complete sense! Employing communication tools and skills has a lot to do with managing ourselves and being mindful to not trigger our partner… Removing roadblocks to communication goes a long way.
And most importantly, when we are mindful of how we show up and how we communicate we are investing in protecting, nurturing, and strengthening our bond…
Strengthening Our Bond
Therefore, it is imperative that we are very intentional and mindful about how we communicate with our partner and what the focus of our conversations are. For who doesn’t want a lovely and strong bond with their Lovey? Right?
I invite you to add having Meaningful Conversations to your Couple Time… Let’s not use couple time for just more binging on Netflix.
Awareness and consciousness about yourself
Do you know what triggers you and why? Do you know what core wound and defense mechanisms you keep playing out, what you contribute to your repeating patterns? Do you know what your needs are and how to meet them? Do you know your Love Language? Getting a deeper understanding of yourself in this way is enlightening and a great investment in your personal development…
Then, sharing this with your partner and integrating your new awareness into your interactions is truly transformative…
Then, you can share your understandings, discoveries, and what you make of them with your partner. Isn’t this a gorgeous conversation?
Aspirations and passions about yourself
Have you identified your Purpose, what drives you? Are you focused on that purpose daily? Do you have a vision of your future and your life? Do you have clear goals and milestones? What are you working on? Are your projects, tasks and routines in alignment withyour Vision? Getting some clarity around these and aligning your life accordingly makes life so much easier and pleasurable…
Then, share what you are up to, your desires, fears, and possible roadblocks with your partner for additional alignment and meaning…
Aren’t these delicious? Imaging these are the topics of your conversations most of the time… This is what gives our interactions depth and meaning. These interactions are what strengthen our bond, bring us closer and guide our relationship and life. This is how we create radiance and meaning in our relationship.
APPLICATION: Select the area about you that you want to explore, gain a deeper understand, more clarity and direction to play with… Set some time aside to indulge in this exploration, and then bring your discoveries, insights, and desires to your Couple Time
Awareness and consciousness about yourself
Awesomeness and uniqueness about yourself
Aspirations and passions about yourself
In developing ourselves and owning our sparkle, with bring more radiance to our relationship…
Be curious, be playful, be vulnerable, be available…
Share yourself more in your interactions and communication, strengthen you bond!
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
Do you think that you love your partner more than they love you? That you care more? That you do more for the home, the family, and the relationship? That if it weren’t for you, things would fall apart? You are not alone in this. It is very common for one partner to do more nurturing, caring, and making sure everything is ok. Does this sound like you? Do you do the caretaking for the family and the relationship? Does it feel like you Love TOO Much?
If we care more and love too much, then by implication it feels like the other cares less… Nobody wants to feel like their loved one doesn’t care as much… It doesn’t feel good to feel less cared about… It doesn’t feel good to love too much…
What happens next is that our whole routine revolves around our loved one/s, our whole week and lifestyle revolve around our loved one/s, our whole life revolves around our loved one/s… We lose sight of who we are, what we are meant to do, of our growth, of where we want to go and who we want to become, and of our actual Journey…
We become myopic, we miss the forest for the tree. We focus on the minutiae of the everyday. We get distracted by others’ whims and agendas and by bright shiny objects. We bang around without purpose.
We fill our days with crap – a bunch of meaningless tasks and a lot of running around. Our tasks are not related to projects. Our projects are not related to goals. Our goals are not related to our vision. We are just wasting are precious time, our precious limited Life Energy…
Some don’t even have outlined tasks, clear projects, established goals or a driving vision… So, you see how easy it is to get lost in the everyday. To focus on what our partner is doing or not doing. To micromanage our home and our loved one/s. To get overly involved in other people’s business. To care about the concern of others. To take over other people’s responsibilities. To take it all on because it’s easier to fill in our void with others’ stuff…
Then we wonder why we feel overwhelmed, anxious, lost, blah, bored, resentful, exhausted, taken for granted, lonely, alone and the like.
It’s easy to distract ourselves from ourselves by loving too much… This is easy to do when we don’t fully own ourselves, for what else are we supposed to do… If we don’t have ourselves, at least we have others…
We have nothing else to care about so we put all our care on them… But then we feel bad because we care more than they do… Then we don’t feel cared about enough…
We create a super hurtful and harmful cycle… We neglect ourselves and our lives. We feel stuck, empty and unhappy. We wonder what’s the meaning of it all… We are missing the forest for the tree!
Stop doing for your loved one/s what they can do for themselves.
Stop micromanaging.
Stop obsessively checking in and on everything.
Stop redundantly tracking everything.
Stop doing stuff for the sake of doing stuff.
Stop filling your life with junk.
Stop doing stuff that doesn’t serve you.
Stop saying yes to other people’s agendas.
Stop __________________.
Stop wasting your precious Life Energy on pursuits that don’t enhance your Journey in some way… Minimize the chaos, the mundane, the minutia, the redundant, the excess, the spinning, the grind…
Stop loving too much, for when you do you also enable others to not do for themselves… This is actually not helpful, you cheat them of the possibility of them figuring it out… Being too helpful is not helpful… Just stop.
Focus on what brings you joy and helps you create your Best Relationship and Life. On what moves the needle forward in your Journey. What enriches your life and the life of the people you love… Not by fishing for them but by teaching them how to fish and by collaborating…
Loving TOO Much is not a great quality, it’s not a character strength… It is actually a sign of codependence, a quality that holds back the people involved…
When we love too much, we become codependent where the members of the relationship/s are held back from their full potential by the dynamics they create. The helped person can’t learn and have self-agency. The helper becomes obsessed with the other at their expense. Neither side wins. This contributes to stuckness in relationships…
APPLICATION: Find three behaviors/tasks you do on a daily basis that are Life Energy sucking and Signs that You Love TOO Much… Figure out how to stop engaging in those behaviors by replacing them with healthy, effective and productive ones, for example:
Have a system for doing food and other shopping so you don’t run out of things
Prep food and snacks
Teach children how to make their bed and make it their responsibility
Teach children / discuss with partner how to pick up their stuff and put dirty clothes in hampers
Agree on who puts the dishes in the dish washer and who empties it
Design lunchboxes duty and agree on who is responsible for putting them together
Create a morning routine where everyone is responsible for getting themselves ready and ready to go
Have a place for backpacks, lunchboxes, school papers, school activities supplies/equipment, etc. (to have been packed up or prepped the day before!)
Have a place for coats, gloves, scarves, shoes and such
Don’t run stuff your children forget to school
Prioritize money producing tasks at work or completing your important project’s tasks
Block off time to do focus work
Don’t have a million errands to run after work
Have a streamlined afterschool, evening and bedtime routine
Block off selfcare time, couple time, social media engagement time, etc.
Have a system for doing laundry a couple of times a week only
Select a recurring time to do home admin tasks and synchronize with your partner
Loving too much is not the way to go. To create a radiant and successful relationship, and meaningful life, we are to fully own ourselves and empower others to do the same… We are to shoot for Interdependence in our relationship/s with extreme personal ownership, reciprocity and collaboration.
We want to love compassionately and passionately and give our relationship/s our best, not our worst by loving too much…
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
It is not easy to live a successful and meaningful life. It takes intentionality, focus and dedication to stay the course. Our life Journey has ups and downs, and at times it can feel like an obstacle course.
With the many demands of today’s modern life and specially recently as we’ve weathered a global pandemic, things can be challenging. It can be overwhelming to manage all the demands and responsibilities. This is why it’s so important to uplevel your support and collaboration.
Imagine having world-class support and collaboration protocol to help create your Best Life. Then the Universe becomes the limit…
It is no fun going it alone. And most importantly when we don’t have the proper support, we hold ourselves back from creating the life (and relationship!) we desire… For you see, when we try to do everything by ourselves in a vacuum, it shows in our results…
When we go it alone:
We are limited by how much we can do, by our knowledge base and by our skill set
We are focused on doing and forget Being
We elude our creativity and our knowing
We are flooded by the minutiae of life and miss the forest for the tree
We miss savoring life experiences, the simple pleasures and amazing people
We cheat ourselves of connection and intimacy
We hold ourselves back from the potential that leveraging and connectivity can afford us…
These limitations have a massive impact:
We hold ourselves back from our true potential and from living our full Human Experience
We settle for less and can’t even imagine having something special to contribute
We erode our connection and bond and jeopardize the essence of our relationship
We subscribe to subpar parenting tactics
We neglect, abandon and even abuse ourselves
We end up:
Settling for a job we hate and merely getting a paycheck to live from month to month
Creating a mediocre relationship, tolerating our partner, missing out on our epic love
Misparenting our children to the point that they become ill, symptomatic, misbehaved, maladjusted
Damaging our body, mind, and spirit
For those that are still carrying the badge of honor for: Sacrificing themselves, exploiting their every ounce of living, and running themselves into the ground – I implore you to reconsider your approach!
It behooves partners to crack the code on how to better support each other and implement a Collaboration Protocol into their lifestyle to create the life of their dreams. They can easily accomplish this through the Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle™.
What does support and collaboration look like in a relationship? Every relationship has their own flavor of this, but the essence is to have a divide and conquer approach. Where one partner picks up where the other leaves off. And, where both partners are in the loop and current on everything that’s going on in their joint lives. But, most importantly where the partners are working together to achieve a common goal.
The partners designing and working together towards a Joint Life Vision is the key towards creating your Best Life and having your fullest Human Experience…
Ok, so how do we create a fabulous life and epic love relationship when we are already stretched thin and overwhelmed? You set yourself up for having better support and collaboration, you create a Strong Partnership.
Setting Up for Success
Success and creating awesomeness doesn’t happen by accident. We have to be intentional and proactive about it.
SECOND – Envision: Design your Joint Life Vision that flows from your values and has clear goals
THIRD – Structure: Create your Ideal Day (daily routine) that you’ll follow as a template
FOURTH – Systematize: Set up systems for sharing responsibilities, completing tasks, building Habits
FIFTH – Flow: Include buffers and transitions into your routines
This formula helps reduce the overwhelm and set yourself up for a productive, meaningful and joyful life. It:
Creates space to operate differently
Identifies your North Star to guide your aspirations
Provides a structure to contain your endeavors
Promotes an effortless approach to managing your days and the business of life
Supports operating with ease and joy
What’s important to note hereis that our ability to implement this depends heavily on: Our mindset, communication skills, how we meet needs, and bond with our partner. Partners who jump into problem solving and changing up their lives have a hard go of it if the other relationship Elements are not robust
If it was easy to create a fabulous life and epic love relationship, then everybody would have these things. Our job is to invest in ourselves and our relationship so that we are in good shape to create our Best Life. And so that we have an amazing Human Experience.
ASSIGNMENT: Identify where the weak link is in your life and relationship right now. It can be within one of the Elements, or in one of the steps in the Success Formula.
Decide how you will go about addressing your weak link… Take an immediate action to get the ball rolling in creating your radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life…
As with anything, when you bring consciousness, focus and attention to something, Awesomeness happens. I wish this for you in your life and your relationship.
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
Copyright (c) 2021 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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