Aside from financial strain, many couples start considering divorce when find themselves frequently in conflict or no longer feeling the relationship…
At its core, these issues often stem from undermining relationship patterns or a lack of connection… And can easily be addressed by enriching the relationship and deepening the connection between the partners…
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce.
That said, I understand how the idea of investing in the relationship and deepening connection might want to make you throw up in your mouth if you are currently at odds or feeling completely estranged. I get it, especially if:
~ Conversations derail no matter how hard you try to get on the same page
~ You feel you are the one doing all the work- apologizing, planning, and trying to make things better
~ The idea of being available, open, or vulnerable feels overwhelming or even terrifying
~ Making the first move toward connection or intimacy feels awkward and unnatural
~ You worry that your partner might not understand or appreciate your efforts, or worse- might reject them outright
~ The things you’ve tried so far haven’t gained any traction or given the results you hoped for
~ Even if there is improvement, it often feels short-lived with the relationship slipping back into old patterns
These feelings are valid, and they are part of the challenge.
The truth is, if there is little effort to mindfully addressing issues, vulnerably sharing needs and preferences, and proactively investing in nurturing our relationship giving love and caring, the relationship has very little chance of surviving, never mind thriving…
These are antidotes to frequent conflicts and estrangement in our relationship… When we feel connected, we can have more understanding, give grace more readily, and find it easier to align, problem-solve, collaborate, and play together…
WHEN FREQUENT CONFLICTS IS THE CULPRIT
It is certainly not easy to be in a relationship that is riddled with tension and conflict. When conversations feel flat, superficial, or forced and the slightest truth can turn into a disagreement. When any behavior, decision, or comment has the potential to trigger a and argument that quickly escalate into a full-blown fight. When concerns or dislikes are left unspoken simply to avoid another argument.
This dynamic arises from the partners’ limiting belief systems, relationship mindset, communication styles, and defensive patterns. Creating habits and patterns that hinder the ability to show up compassionately, vulnerably, and authentically for one another.
~ Being Fully Committed – Closing any gaps or leaks and being intentionally building a successful relationship with a shared vision for a life together.
~ Taking Full Accountability – Owning your role in the current dynamic and making the necessary changes to foster different, more positive outcomes.
~ Proactively Addressing Challenges – Tackling what’s not working with compassion, kindness, and patience, while investing in nurturing and strengthening the relationship.
Making a commitment to making the relationship work, is in itself a powerful step toward making the relationship work…
WHEN ESTRANGEMENT IS THE CULPRIT
And it’s certainly not easy to be in a relationship that feels cold, distant, and transactional… Where the partners function more like roommates, prioritize their children over the relationship, or simply lead parallel lives. Where they might have challenges finding things in common or having fun together. Where they have let their physical intimacy fall by the wayside…
It is actually painful to live in a barren household or have a distant relationship. As humans, we have an innate need for connection, it’s hardwired into us as a fundamental part of our being. When we don’t meet this need, and especially if we have abandonment wounds, the pain can be excruciating. This pain invites our ugliest defense mechanisms as we try to cope with the distress…
Unfortunately, these defense mechanisms perpetuate the destructive power struggle cycle, the dissatisfying patterns, that couples experience when they haven’t invested in personal development and relationship enrichment.
The solution lies in creating, maintaining, and deepening their connection to create emotional safety that allows them to take the relationship and their intimacy to the next level:
~ Creating Connection – Gently reaching out for interest in connecting and nurturing the relationship. Showing interest in our partner with curiosity about their thoughts, feelings, experiences and desires.
~ Maintaining Connection – Implementing Connection Habits™ to protect the bond, cultivate a sense of closeness, and easily re-engage and reconnect even during challenging times.
~ Deepening Connection – Elevating interactions by engaging in more intimate, vulnerable, and authentic conversations that explore values, personal truths, emotions, and even existential topics for a richer and more profound connection.
Showing genuine interest in our partner can make a world of difference. When they feel truly valued, appreciated, understood, and desired the foundation of the relationship strengthens and the relationship starts to flourish.
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce. By addressing and transforming defense mechanisms, programs, and patterns that drive our interactions, and by actively investing in connecting with our partner, we pave the way the way for creating the relationship we desire.
It is up to us to prevent the demise of our relationship by showing up with the best of intentions and with our Best Self. Only then can our relationship become the relationship we both love.
Happy showing up…
With Much Love & Light!
JUST FOR YOU
NEW! Monthly Activating Protocols Establish Your Highest Potential in 10 Key Life Areas, Design Your New Life Having a North Star ensures we stay the course on the path we desire on our Journey. It ensures we create the relationship and life we love, and have the Human Experience we desire… In this activation, we walk through a Visioning and Expansion Process to reprogram and reset for the New Year… We take a deep dive and activate the Highest Potential in 10 Life Areas to drive your reset. You get to explore your heart’s desires and identify the specific actions, tactic, or habits you’ll implement to create your New Beginnings, and your Ideal New Life… We design your ideal lifestyle you can start living immediately that’s the framework to live your Grand Life Adventure…
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW!
Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
A brand spanking new year, and the start of a New Quarter Century, #Q2Y2K. Isn’t that something? Big milestone years give me the tingles. I find them super exciting as markers and opportunities for grand gestures, grand plans or intentions, and absolutely for Grand New Beginnings. This is an opportunity to reset ourselves, our relationship, and our life. To set ourselves on a new path, for a new future. We can choose what we want this next segment of time to be like in our Journey… We can design our ideal future. Embracing this perspective is super empowering for having the Experience we desire… Here is to New Year Goals to uplevel our relationship and our life.
But this might feel like an enormous undertaking, intimidating and too elusive to tackle… You might wonder, where do I even start to create such a Grand New Beginning… I hear you.
Fear not, let’s make this accessible, manageable as well as fun!
First off, though we can use great milestone years as measurements of time, big transitions, and give them any meaning we like, as we are doing here as a motivational and inspirational perspective- let’s remember that time is actually non-linear…
In time-space reality, everything we want to achieve or create or experience is already here… Everything is happening right now- past, present, and future. All possible realities. Everything… I’ll spare us even the most basic lesson in quantum physics and the interconnectedness of everything… I’m just a curious quantum physics enthusiast. But you can dig into this on your own if you are also curious about what is possible for our Experience…
So our brain and mind don’t go on the fritz, creating more resistance to change than we might already experience, let’s tackle this from our usual perspective, as if time is linear… But just know that I’ll be tricky and sprinkle in tactics and practices to effortlessly activate us for our Grander Experience… You are welcome.
How to Set a Vision for the New Quarter Century
Ok, so we don’t have to overcomplicate it, philosophize too much, or make it scary to go for a Grander Experience in our life…
If you find that you are thinking things like: My life is perfectly fine as is. Or, I have no idea of what I want and don’t even know where to start, even thinking about this is too overwhelming. Or, Going for Grander is too much, I don’t have it in me to work harder for more. Or, I’m barely surviving and managing my life and my relationship, never mind this grand idea. Or, some version of these. Then, your mindset needs a little decluttering so you don’t hold yourself back from what is possible for you, your relationship and your life…
Let’s start there and then go for it!
Declutter Your Mindset for Transformation
What got us here won’t get us there… If you are looking to uplevel your relationship and your life, you need to uplevel your approach to them…
These things will no longer cut it: Focusing on what doesn’t work or how unhappy we might be, victimizing ourselves, not believing in ourselves or our worthiness birthright, lacking a vision and goals, stretching ourselves thin and rejecting support or blessings, taking life too seriously and getting stuck in the weeds, lacking strategy and systems, lacking focus, prioritization, and periodization, neglecting ourselves, not cultivating joy, not investing in deepening connections, blaming our partner…
These are a Lower-Self way of operating… They keep us in the grind, in disappointment and pain, symptoms or breakdowns riddled, in repeating dissatisfying patterns, and just experiencing a mediocre relationship and life at best…
Once you feel realigned with a Higher Perspective… and are committed to embracing and practicing a different approach, you can dive into what kind of relationship and life you want to create, experience, live…
This is where you explore your dreams, your heart’s desires. Where you create a relationship and life vision. Where you identify your goals and design a way of life and work to help you achieve them. Where you go for the epic s*t you want to experience and live in this lifetime. Where you fulfill your Prime Directive, your Soul’s Directive, of what it wants to experience and how it wants to expand…
THIS IS WHERE – You explore what is the Highest Potential you can imagine for every area of your life. For if you can see it, envision it, it means that you can achieve it… Your brain and mind can’t fathom the unfathomable. Get creative, go all out, dream big, go for the BHAG (big hairy audacious goal), think about what would make your life superhuman, super extraordinary, and what this means about the person you need to become – how you stretch into the best version of you… You 5.0! Commit to getting on the path for a Journey to that magnificent destination. For if you even achieve 10% of that massive vision, you’ve done better for yourself than if you hadn’t gone for any vision at all…
Here is a list of the life areas to ponder and play with, but you can tweak this list to better fit your circumstance:
Health, fitness, mental health, spirituality
Personal development, personal growth, character strengths
Romantic relationship / partnership
Parenting, family
Social, friendships, communities, networks
Work, career, profession, business
Financial health, income streams, assets, wealth, financial freedom
After we get out of our own way with how we experience and create our life, envision what is possible and commit to having a Grander Experience, then we are ready to create, manifest, what we desire… We can go for a Supreme Reality!
What does this mean? It means we commit to creating our life by design and invest in living the design…
THIS MEANS – We identify the micro processes and choices we need to put in place and make on a consistent basis for the cumulative result of creating what we want. We moderate the grind- we still drill and focus and prioritize and choose intentionally how to live all our moments. But we do not hustle, overdo it, drive ourselves into the groundor neglect what is important in the Journey. We invest in systems and support for a softer approach and a worthy Journey… We cultivate Joy…
So, we make an investment in the top 3 life areas that need the most attention for a leveraged upleveling of our relationship and our life. These are usually: Health, Relationship/s, and Prosperity for people. What are yours? Take an immediate action to start moving the needle forward in them… Implement a new habit, tactic, practice, or have the conversation, set the boundary, make the call, set up the appointment, book the thing, and so on…
THIS ALSO MEANS – Getting on the same page with your partner… Discussing values, dreams, goals, priorities, tactics, habits to design your shared life and how to integrate those elements to create the relationship and life you both love!
>> Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
And, my Lovelies, is how we start this New Year on the right foot on the right path for a magnificent Journey this New Quarter Century! What will your relationship and your life look like in 25 years if you made a dent in your Vision this year…? Good stuff, right?
Let’s commit to staying the course. Get whatever support you need to help you along- let’s do this!
With Much Love & Light!
LAST CHANCE FOR OUR HOLIDAY OFFERS!
Want to take your relationship and your life to the next level? Want to:
Stop the fighting, easily get on the same page, change repeating patterns, deepen and expand your connection and intimacy, and create a strong collaborative partnership?
Create a harmonious, joyous, and loving relationship and home?
👉 Get Started with an Initial Session- now at 25% OFF, use code NEWYEARS, and get a BONUS SESSION when you enroll to work with us! Get it Now
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Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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