Let’s ready ourselves for a new season this year, and possibly a new season of life… There is so much happening in the world at large, in this country, and in most of our lives as usual… And time seems to be moving faster… Making our lives more intense and challenging. I don’t know about you, but I already have a special relationship with time and don’t need for it to get more complicated. For us to have a better go if it, we have to shift our approach to how we create our relationship and our life…
Instead of focusing on all the doing and all the to-dos, extending ourselves to the limit and to exhaustion, and wondering how do we get our partner to support us and help us more, the key is a totally different approach…
Now, this new approach doesn’t add more work to your already full plate. It actually reduces it significantly.
You might be wondering what is this magic I speak of.
What I’m suggesting is so simple, it’s almost ridiculous. But not to be dismissed because of its simplicity. At the end of the day, though it’s simple it might still be challenging. And this challenge will serve you infinitely more than going at things the usual way…
I’m talking about Creating through Connected Collaboration™… Let me explain.
When we approach any interaction from a place of curiosity and openmindedness, with warmth, vulnerability, authenticity, and a willingness to share airtime, then we are able to join in a collaborative spirit… When we connect deeply and meaningfully, when we have shared values, vision, and goals, when we play with them from our heart, then we are able to create anything we desire. These things might be the challenge themselves, but so fulfilling to master. This is where our attention is needed most…
Embracing a softer approachto creation with connecting vs grinding is the shift that’s in order…
This allows for a smooth creation of the relationship and life we want. It allows us to collaborate, to cocreate with ease, to manifest with splendor. It allows for a grander experience…
Shifting to this approach immediately allows for new beginnings and experiences. This is how everything gets done with ease- things fall off our to do, get streamlined, get more support and are just a joy to tackle.
All the doing and grinding no longer give the results and satisfaction we seek. The outcomes and fulfillment, including the amazing experience along the way, get created through connection, that makes collaboration for manifestation a piece of cake.
So, don’t let the seemingly crazy world out there get you- you don’t have to join in all the doing, grinding, and fighting. Elevate yourself and your approach and watch how seamlessly you create the relationship and life you love…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Some might believe they love unconditionally, because they believe that’s what’s expected and what’s appropriate in love… But upon further inspection it is obvious that their love is conditional… Is there a right way to love? Should we love unconditionally? Or should we, what some might consider, be smart about it and love conditionally?
In my book, love has nothing to do with conditions…
Now, this doesn’t mean we put up with abusive situations, or situations that don’t honor who we are, or that don’t support our purpose and our life Journey… This also doesn’t mean we are to be doormats and have no expectations in our relationship… All these things could be true, and we could still love the other…
So, when people believe love is conditional on certain things, that doesn’t really add up because we can obviously love no matter what, codependence and other dynamics and conditions aside…
But because we can love no matter what, it doesn’t mean we put up with a less than radiant and successful relationship… One that helps us become our best self… One that enriches us and makes our journey better…
~ We invest in cultivating our love, so it doesn’t get tied up with conditions and eroded by unmet expectations…
~ We invest in creating the best relationship to support and help expand our love…
This means we create the perfect space for our love. And this doesn’t mean a perfect relationship- there is no such thing. But it means a relationship in progress to its fullest potential…
Now this is journey worth investing in- playing in this realm and experiencing the rewards it yields is one of the best feelings… It’s so satisfying and fulfilling to take the interactions to the next level where both partners feel fully heard, understood, and accepted. Where they feel appreciated for who they are and what they contribute to the relationship and the other’s life. Where they feel deeply connected, and nourished and enlivened by their interactions.
Let’s commit to playing in the realm of having a relationship in progress to its fullest potential, where our love can thrive and shine…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We are experiencing a stronger need for connection and love in the collective, some of us might be more aware and attuned to that than others. This has always been a theme in the work we do with our couples in couples therapyand marriage counseling. But there seems to be a deeper longing and more significant desire for more affection, connection, intimacy, and communing.
We might be experiencing this as life lacking luster, as an identity crisis, as aimlessness or boredom, as loss, sadness, or grief, as anger or disillusionment, as friction, frustration, drama, or conflict, or in a myriad of different ways…
We might be feeling really uncomfortable in our own skins, in relationship with our partner, in our professions or careers, in our other roles, and in our place in life in general at this time… We might be feeling a little lost, upside down or alone… We might be wondering what’s the meaning of everything and what’s our place in it…
Does this resonate?
These existential questions are not to be feared, and definitely not ignored and swept under the rug.
These are just signs that we are ready to grow, to upgrade, to uplevel… To evolve… To awaken…
This just means that we are ready to take our human experience to new heights. That’s very cool in my book, and I say bring it!
But what does this mean for our everyday? For our feelings? For being in relationship with our partner? And everything else?
Well, I say we take it easy and address what is the most uncomfortable first… Where are you suffering the most? What is keeping you up at night? What is giving you the most grief, anxiety and agita?
Then focus on addressing that at the root. Not by throwing out the baby with the bath water- as in leaving your partner, leaving your job, or otherwise jumping ship. You might have to eventually do that if it serves your purpose and honors your life. But don’t jump to conclusions.
Be curious first about where you are and what you need and how to go about meeting that need….
Focus on learning you, learning your partner, learning new skills, tools and talents… All this will support you in creating a more exciting, enjoyable, and fun Journey…
For additional support, check out this month’s Integration Experience on this topic that’s now on replay: Relate Intentionally and Authentically to Blossom Your Love. It’s available through our Radiance Membership at no additional cost.
And, in today’s podcast episode I have an energizing conversation with Francois Lupien on just what it takes to change things around. We talk about the power of our internal dialogue and how to have impactful interactions with others, how to go from victim of circumstances to creator of our own reality, how to reframe situations for more happiness and joy in our relationship and our life, and he offered a golden tactic to take things to the next level.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It is a common belief that committed relationships seem to fizzle out over time or not make it very long term. But this doesn’t have to be the case, in reality our relationship can get better with time… The thing is that because of that belief, the way that we set up our lives, and social trends, we just don’t expect to have a radiant and successful long-term relationship where connection and intimacy just get better with time. We are not all in from the get-go and settle from mediocre until it no longer works… A relationship not nurtured doesn’t thrive…
Addressing unresolved issues and properly getting our needs met
Deepening our connection and increasing our intimacy
Creating a smooth collaboration and strong partnership with our partner
When we take our partner and our relationship for granted, the connection withers away, our intimate life takes a hit, and interactions get frayed with friction and conflict. We find ourselves fighting more and / or becoming more and more distant until there is barely a semblance of a relationship left…
Living in the same home and having children in common is not substantiative enough to call that relationship your “Relationship”.
A rewarding, satisfying, radiant and successful relationship is one where the partners: ~ Feel at home when they are together. ~ Are (healthily, not codependently) invested in the other’s wellbeing and success ~ Deeply understand and accept each other ~ Can truly be themselves and they are cherished for who they are ~ Have shared values and dreams
This is the radiant and successful relationship we can create with our partner, and what we are to protect and sustain once we achieve it.
The key here is first of all, not let it go south when we first start a new relationship. To set it up well from the beginning, with boundaries, reasonable expectations, honesty, trustworthiness, vulnerability, and authenticity. And then to continue to invest in those qualities and other powerful relational tactics to ensure we set up a strong foundation.
But even after all that, and especially if our foundation is weak to begin with, we might get sidetracked with life where we start neglecting our relationship and taking our partner for granted. Hopefully we have the awareness that this is happening, and we can nip that in the bud and course correct to get back to a strong place.
And if for some reason we don’t catch the downward slope early enough, or we just can’t seem to stop what appears to be a train wreck, that’s ok- just recommit to getting back to a good place and then invest in doing so.
Getting professional help, in the form of couple therapy, marriage counselingor relationship coaching, would be beneficial at any of these stages, but it’s definitely needed if you are struggling and can’t seem to get your head above water. The sooner you get support the greater the chances of setting things on the right course and creating what you desire. Don’t wait too long, sometimes the damage that gets made is very difficult to undo.
In most cases you can get back to that wonderful place and create something amazing… You CAN create the relationship you desire…
So regardless of the status and state of your relationship, commit to investing in making it awesome. Commit to ongoingly, and even systematically, focus on nourishing your relationshipso it has a chance to thrive.
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Plenty of research shows that the way we communicate impacts our relationship’s success, and this is true for all communication across all disciplines and contexts. But do we really need the research to tell us that? Can’t we immediately tell when we are in an interaction with someone else if we are being heard and understood? Can’t we immediately tell if we are connecting and resonating? Yes, we can! If we pay attention, we can see that the way we show up to our interactions impact how those interactions pan out… The more authentic we show up the better the interactions go…
I’m sure you’ve noticed that when you show up whiny, judgy, critical, controlling, demanding and the like, that you encounter resistance from the other side…
I’m sure you’ve noticed that when you show up open, vulnerable, compassionate, understanding, accepting, collaborative and the like, that you encounter receptivity, willingness, cooperation, resonance, and flow…
The key then is in how we make sure we show up for better connection and more resonance…
We want to show up with a clear conscious, which means we take full ownership of ourselves and accountability for our actions, we stop the blame game and waiting for others to change, we do what we know is right without making others wrong, and we take the high road even when others insist on pulling us into the low road…
We want to show up with our Best Self, which means we are resourced (not hungry, tired, disregulated), mindful, available, present, attuned, interested, intentional about having a clean, meaningful and loving interaction…
We want to show up with our heart, which means we check our ego and notice our patterns giving us the ability to be caring, forgiving, compassionate, generous, kind and tender, and specially to be vulnerable, forthcoming, and to speak our truth…
For this is where the connection and resonance will happen… When we truly show up to an interaction without all the layers of protection, defenses, and pretenses, is when we are truly showing up as ourselves and that is when we can be truly seen, accepted, and loved…
Unfortunately, most interact from pretentiousness, superficiality and shallowness. Then they wonder how come they feel alone, lonely, unseen, rejected, unappreciated and such.
If you are not showing up, there is nothing to appreciate…
If you are not showing up, there is no one with whom to connect…
If you are not showing up, there is no one with whom to vibe!
So take stock of where you are suffering, what is bothering you, what is not working in your life, what you would like to change, and see how much YOU are really showing up to those situations…
Take a look at the quality of your presence… Are you being conscientious, showing up with your Best Self and speaking from your heart?
Note, speaking from the heart and honestly doesn’t mean you have no filters and you have a out-of-jail-free-card where you can let it rip and give unsolicited feedback and share all your grievances about how someone else such- you see how damaging and inappropriate this is?
No, speaking from your heart means speaking YOUR truth (not the truth about others LOL). It means sharing your inner world about yourself (not your critical thoughts and impressions about others). It means sharing your hurt, your desires, your dreams…
Speaking from your truth means putting yourself out there to be seen, to be known, to be loved…
This also means using your intuition and judgment about whom to share yourself with, when and how… This is very important- we don’t want to set ourselves up in any way… Discernment is a virtue…
Start taking stock and making your shifts to speak your truth, gently and lovingly, more assertively when necessary, making sure you show up with who you really are and share your heart…
Show up with love, be love, and you’ll receive more love…
APPLICATION: Identify have you haven’t been fully authentic and true to yourself…
~ Make a list of things you hide, keep to yourself, have never shared, secrets, parts of yourself you hide, dreams and desired you suppressed, and everything else that is significant about you that you don’t let out- that you don’t honor at the end of the day…
~ Make a commitment to slowly but surely start showing up with more integrity, more authenticity, more vulnerability, more truly yourself…
~ Mark the items you want to do this with first and set the intention to mindfully and intentionally go about sharing yourself more…
It is time to start really showing up more to your relationship and your life…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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