Using the 5 Love Languages for giving and receiving the right kind of love

Using the 5 Love Languages for giving and receiving the right kind of love

What is Love? Love is many things, and we can all define it differently. And, we can all give it and receive it differently… It is common in couples for the partners to feel that they give more love than their partner does. It’s interesting when both partners in the relationship feel this way. The reason for this is that they are giving love the way they themselves like to receive love, not necessarily in the way that their partner likes to receive it. This leaves the partners giving love that the other doesn’t even register… 

What a conundrum, right? The partners give the love, and the other doesn’t feel it. 

They are both investing in their relationship with no impact. They get frustrated at giving the love that seemingly it not being reciprocated. The partners struggle to understand what’s happening, feeling resentful at not being loved enough… 

When this continues, with the partners none the wiser that they are both investing just not in the required way, the resentment starts manifesting in poor interactions. Which are riddled with cynicism, criticism, control, defensiveness, passive aggressiveness, defiance, power struggles, and other pesky ways. 

This can all be easily shifted when the partners give their love in the way the other likes to receive it! 

This idea was developed by Dr. Gary Chapman and presented in his popular book, The 5 Love Languages. He shares the 5 love languages commonly desired by partners and how to give love in those languages. Now we all like to receive love in all the 5 languages, but usually we have 2 top ones we prefer. 

I teach clients to focus on giving their partner love in their top two languages, so they no longer spin their wheels giving love how they like to receive it and it being lost on their partner. This shift in how they give love makes a great impact as the partners start to immediately feel more loved. An investment well worth what it requires to shift their approach. 

Dr. Chapman also presents pitfalls to avoid according to each love language. It’s interesting that partners have the hardest time giving the love in the way that their partner desires it, and do exactly the things that hurts the other the most… This is all part of our relationship dynamics and our patterns

The way we struggle giving the right love for our partner and avoiding the related pitfalls is all part of how we are to continue to evolve… This is yet another way in how we are a perfect match for each other…

Here are the 5 Love Languages and Their Pitfalls

Learning our Love Languages is key in ensuring we are showing each other love in the way that touches are heart the most and avoid the common pitfalls that hurt our partner.

1~ Words of Affirmation

Partners with this love language feel most loved through verbal expressions of affection, praise, and encouragement. This also includes compliments, appreciation, acknowledgment, credit, and validation. 

These Have this Flavor:
~ Saying, “I love you,” frequently.
~ Giving genuine compliments like, “You’re amazing at what you do.”
~ Leaving a heartfelt note or sending a thoughtful text message.

Pitfalls to Avoid:
~ Insincere or forced compliments can feel empty.
~ Negative or critical words can be especially hurtful to someone who values affirmation.
~ Assuming your partner “already knows” you appreciate them without saying it.

2~ Acts of Service

Love is expressed through helpful actions rather than words. Doing things that make life easier for the partner is the key to their heart. These partners really appreciate practical and hands on support. Help with their to-do list or getting things done. 

These Have this Flavor:
~ Cooking a meal for them when they’ve had a long day.
~ Taking care of household chores without being asked.
~ Running an errand they’ve been putting off.

Pitfalls to Avoid:
~ Doing things out of obligation rather than genuine love.
~ Assuming your acts of service are meaningful to your partner without asking.
~ Expecting praise in return, or having strings attached, rather than giving selflessly.

3~ Quality Time

Undivided attention and meaningful experiences are the primary ways these partners feel loved. This is where the attunement, presence, and protected couple and intimate time come into play. 

These Have this Flavor:
~ Planning a date night with special touches.
~ Engaging in deep conversations without distractions.
~ Taking a weekend trip together to reconnect.

Pitfalls to Avoid:
~ Being physically present but mentally absent (e.g., scrolling on your phone).
~ Assuming quantity of time matters more than quality.
~ Failing to plan meaningful activities together.

4~ Physical Touch

Physical affection is the primary way these partners feel connected and loved. This doesn’t always mean physical intimacy or sexy time. It can be as simple as touch. These can look like caressing, petting, patting, grazing, kissing, and the like…

These have this flavor:
~ Holding hands while walking together.
~ Giving hugs, back rubs, or gentle touches throughout the day.
~ Cuddling on the couch while watching a movie.

Pitfalls to Avoid:
~ Assuming all physical touch is romantical- non-intimate affection is important too.
~ Withholding touch as punishment.
~ Forgetting that small, spontaneous gestures of touch can mean a lot.

5~ Receiving Gifts

For some, tangible symbols of love carry deep emotional significance. It’s not about materialism but about the thoughtfulness behind the gift. Though some partners have higher expectations on the kinds of gifts. 

These have this flavor:
~ Bringing home their favorite snack just because.
~ Giving a meaningful birthday or anniversary present.
~ Surprising them with a small, sentimental token that reminds you of them.

Pitfalls to Avoid:
~ Thinking it’s about money rather than meaning.
~ Forgetting special occasions or failing to put thought into gifts.
~ Assuming a generic or last-minute gift will have the same impact as something personal.

Understanding and speaking our partner’s Love Language, and knowing and communicating our own, can be truly transformative in our relationship. 

Identifying and prioritizing our love languages can help prevent unnecessary conflicts, and deepen our connection. If you don’t already know yours, check out Dr. Chapman’s quiz! Here

This is a fun exercise to share with your partner to realign, add more dimension to your relating, and just for kicks. Why not? 

If you notice resistance in giving your partner love in their Love Language, take some time to explore what’s behind that for you and how you need to stretch for your own growth… 

Happy Loving…

With Much Love & Light!

 

JUST FOR YOU

This Month’s Activating Protocol: 

Realign for More Love in Your Relationship, Learn How to Date Your Partner

Often when couples struggle in their relationship, or when they feel they are in a bit of a slump, it has to do with Relationship Neglect… When life gets hectic with demands and we barely have time to sleep, the further thing from our mind is being cute in our relationship. Because we are so used to a life of grind, this state of affairs is common. Where the relationship and our bond take a major blow. 

The relationship can sustain challenging times, but ongoing neglect takes its toll. There are specific factors that play a role during these difficult times, that can at times be pervasive in the relationship making matters worse. Shifting these is key to getting out of the slump along with intentionally and effortlessly investing in the relationship. 

Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Here are our current memberships that give you access: 

Radiance Membership – Subscription of transformational content and much more! (at only $29 per month)
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Success Membership – Subscription of therapy sessions, it includes the Radiance Membership! 
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RESOURCES

~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocol to learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!  

PS: Related Articles
How to get more love from your partner
Yes, you can love too much…
Are you giving enough to your honey?
Are you being nice to your partner?
Do you play with your partner?
Are you ready for deeper connection with your spouse?
Break the barrier to connection
Flexibility enables connection
Perception, mood and connection

 

PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our private and group memberships:
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Radiance Membership

Look forward to seeing you inside!

 

   Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

From Old Patterns to New Love, Fostering More Meaningful Connection

From Old Patterns to New Love, Fostering More Meaningful Connection

Call me weird, call me naïve, call me a hopeless romantic, but I choose to believe there is more love in the air and in the world than we sometimes see… I know this might be an unpopular opinion given the state of the world, but our reality is what we make of it. While plenty may challenge this belief, our reality is shaped our own state of mind…

Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Beautiful Life? It’s about a father in a concentration camp who shields their young son from the horrors of their situation by turning it into a game. Because of his father’s unwavering perspective, the boy never experiences the trauma of their conditions in the same way. Watch the trailer here

This story reminds us of something profound:

  • We are super powerful creators…
  • What we think and what we believe, we manifest…
  • What we focus on, grows…

Why not put this superpower to work, as we can create whatever we desire.

For me, that means focusing on love- helping couples create their radiant and successful relationship and rekindling their love. Actually, not just rekindle it but create something new, a New Love…  

 

What is this New Love?

For starters, the concept of New Love is about transcending our limitations to be as loving as we can be…

~ Letting go of the pettiness of our lower self

~ Releasing attachments to perceived limitations

~ Having grace for our own and other’s shortcomings

~ Being generous with- kindness, openness, flexibility, understanding, acknowledgement, acceptance, forgiveness, empathy, compassion, attention, affection, nurturing, support, cooperation, collaboration (Correlating to the 5 Elements of the Successful Relationship Strategy™)

~ Investing in win-win outcomes and elevating love as a collective experience

This Higher Perspective elevates us for a Grander Experience…

  • When we filter life through pettiness, we act petty
  • When we filter life through generosity, we act generously
  • When we filter life through love, we act lovingly

We can identify what we want to create and experience, and have it grow by simply focusing on and cultivating its related virtue, quality, feeling or state.

 

What this mean for our relationship

Here is the beautiful part: Aside from just feeling amazing and having a fabulous personal experience, you’ll notice your partner starts to shift along…

We can’t possibly operate from this Higher Perspective and not have it rub off on others, especially the ones closest to us, like our partner.

But a word of caution: Our approach has to be authentic and heart-felt. Not just lip service, hedging, conditions, or strings attached. Which are lower-self’s rules of engagement… With limiting underlying programming still running the show… This is the larger part of us and wins every time. So if there is a discrepancy between how we are showing up or our desire and what our programming dictates, the programming will impact the outcome no matter how hard we try…

Your partner and others will always respond to the underlying patterns, regardless of the words and actions. That’s why so many people say, “I tried everything, and nothing worked.”

We want to bring consciousness to our patterns allowing for a sustainable Higher Perspective. For there we can fill the space left behind by the dissolved patterns with the good stuff…

Now is the time to embrace this New Love.

Give it shot: Address your patterns and replace prior sabotaging habits with ones that nourish you, nurture your relationship, and delight your partner…

Now they can take hold and allow for that Grander Experience

Happy Loving…

With Much Love & Light!

 

RESOURCES

~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocol to learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!  

 

PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our private and group memberships:
Success Membership
Radiance Membership

Look forward to seeing you inside!

 

   Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Cheat and divorce-proof your marriage, give your partner baths

Cheat and divorce-proof your marriage, give your partner baths

Aside from financial strain, many couples start considering divorce when find themselves frequently in conflict or no longer feeling the relationship…

At its core, these issues often stem from undermining relationship patterns or a lack of connection… And can easily be addressed by enriching the relationship and deepening the connection between the partners…

Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce.

That said, I understand how the idea of investing in the relationship and deepening connection might want to make you throw up in your mouth if you are currently at odds or feeling completely estranged. I get it, especially if:

~ Conversations derail no matter how hard you try to get on the same page

~ You feel you are the one doing all the work- apologizing, planning, and trying to make things better

~ The idea of being available, open, or vulnerable feels overwhelming or even terrifying

~ Making the first move toward connection or intimacy feels awkward and unnatural

~ You worry that your partner might not understand or appreciate your efforts, or worse- might reject them outright

~ The things you’ve tried so far haven’t gained any traction or given the results you hoped for

~ Even if there is improvement, it often feels short-lived with the relationship slipping back into old patterns

These feelings are valid, and they are part of the challenge.

The truth is, if there is little effort to mindfully addressing issues, vulnerably sharing needs and preferences, and proactively investing in nurturing our relationship giving love and caring, the relationship has very little chance of surviving, never mind thriving

These are antidotes to frequent conflicts and estrangement in our relationship… When we feel connected, we can have more understanding, give grace more readily, and find it easier to align, problem-solve, collaborate, and play together…

WHEN FREQUENT CONFLICTS IS THE CULPRIT

It is certainly not easy to be in a relationship that is riddled with tension and conflict. When conversations feel flat, superficial, or forced and the slightest truth can turn into a disagreement. When any behavior, decision, or comment has the potential to trigger a and argument that quickly escalate into a full-blown fight. When concerns or dislikes are left unspoken simply to avoid another argument.

This dynamic arises from the partners’ limiting belief systems, relationship mindset, communication styles, and defensive patterns. Creating habits and patterns that hinder the ability to show up compassionately, vulnerably, and authentically for one another.

The solution lies in embracing a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle  by consistently:

~ Being Fully Committed – Closing any gaps or leaks and being intentionally building a successful relationship with a shared vision for a life together.

~ Taking Full Accountability – Owning your role in the current dynamic and making the necessary changes to foster different, more positive outcomes.

~ Proactively Addressing Challenges – Tackling what’s not working with compassion, kindness, and patience, while investing in nurturing and strengthening the relationship.

Making a commitment to making the relationship work, is in itself a powerful step toward making the relationship work…

WHEN ESTRANGEMENT IS THE CULPRIT

And it’s certainly not easy to be in a relationship that feels cold, distant, and transactional… Where the partners function more like roommates, prioritize their children over the relationship, or simply lead parallel lives. Where they might have challenges finding things in common or having fun together. Where they have let their physical intimacy fall by the wayside…

It is actually painful to live in a barren household or have a distant relationship. As humans, we have an innate need for connection, it’s hardwired into us as a fundamental part of our being. When we don’t meet this need, and especially if we have abandonment wounds, the pain can be excruciating. This pain invites our ugliest defense mechanisms as we try to cope with the distress…

Unfortunately, these defense mechanisms perpetuate the destructive power struggle cycle, the dissatisfying patterns, that couples experience when they haven’t invested in personal development and relationship enrichment.

The solution lies in creating, maintaining, and deepening their connection to create emotional safety that allows them to take the relationship and their intimacy to the next level:

~ Creating Connection – Gently reaching out for interest in connecting and nurturing the relationship. Showing interest in our partner with curiosity about their thoughts, feelings, experiences and desires.

~ Maintaining Connection – Implementing Connection Habits™ to protect the bond, cultivate a sense of closeness, and easily re-engage and reconnect even during challenging times.

~ Deepening Connection – Elevating interactions by engaging in more intimate, vulnerable, and authentic conversations that explore values, personal truths, emotions, and even existential topics for a richer and more profound connection.

Showing genuine interest in our partner can make a world of difference. When they feel truly valued, appreciated, understood, and desired the foundation of the relationship strengthens and the relationship starts to flourish.

Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce. By addressing and transforming defense mechanisms, programs, and patterns that drive our interactions, and by actively investing in connecting with our partner, we pave the way the way for creating the relationship we desire.

It is up to us to prevent the demise of our relationship by showing up with the best of intentions and with our Best Self. Only then can our relationship become the relationship we both love.

Happy showing up…

With Much Love & Light!

 

JUST FOR YOU

NEW! Monthly Activating Protocols
Establish Your Highest Potential in 10 Key Life Areas, Design Your New Life
Having a North Star ensures we stay the course on the path we desire on our Journey. It ensures we create the relationship and life we love, and have the Human Experience we desire… In this activation, we walk through a Visioning and Expansion Process to reprogram and reset for the New Year… We take a deep dive and activate the Highest Potential in 10 Life Areas to drive your reset. You get to explore your heart’s desires and identify the specific actions, tactic, or habits you’ll implement to create your New Beginnings, and your Ideal New Life… We design your ideal lifestyle you can start living immediately that’s the framework to live your Grand Life Adventure…

Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month)
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RESOURCES

Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel 

Download our Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

 

PS: Related Articles

Why you need Purpose in your life
Do you have Clarity?
Why have a 100-Year Vision Plan…
Let your Values rule your life
Live by your Character and Practical Strengths
How to waltz into the New Year!
How to Upshift for your New Beginning [VIDEO]
How to make sure you get your New Beginning
Create a New Beginning with your partner this New Year [VIDEO]
Creating new beginnings through connection and collaboration
What would you like to have more of in the New Year?
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
Are you achieving your relationship goals?
Are you a strong partnership?
Do You Support Each Other?
Does your Couple Brand need upgrading?
Tired of feeling stuck in your relationship?
Tired of fighting without resolution?
Tired of the same old issue?
Tired of feeling disconnected?
Tired of feeling overwhelmed?

 

PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our private and group memberships:
Success Membership

Radiance Membership

Look forward to seeing you inside!

 

   Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™
with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

Embrace the New Year, Intentional Living for an Extraordinary Life

Embrace the New Year, Intentional Living for an Extraordinary Life

As we settle into the New Year, many of us are exploring and integrating our new habits, tactics, practices, and routines… While the cold weather may not be my favorite, I love this season for one reason: It’s the perfect opportunity for a fresh start.  And what’s more exciting than the chance to reset, realign, and step boldly onto a Grand New Path?

Failing to be intentional about how we begin a new year, or any significant milestone, is a missed opportunity. This is your moment to course-correct, realign for something meaningful, and set yourself up for your Best Year Yet.

Whether you’ve dabbled in Life Planning, Visioning, Shared Visioning, Goal Setting, New Year’s Resolutions, or simply Setting Intentions, now is the time to uplevel.

Here’s the secret: creating the life we desire boils down to three key steps:

  1. Identifying what we desire.
  2. Aligning ourselves with those desires.
  3. Mapping out a plan to make them a reality.

But here’s the catch: too often, we don’t even know what we’re working toward. We haven’t thought about what kind of life we want to live. We have no idea what our needs are, and we want in our relationship and from our partner… We don’t know or practice what keeps us healthy and what gives up joy… 

This is not how we create our Best Life, our Extraordinary Life and Epic Love… 

Now, please, I don’t want to hear your thoughts that you are not interested in creating that. That you are OK with an Ok or Ordinary Life… If that were true, you wouldn’t be reading this… Please be honest with yourself and finally Align yourself with your desires, your purpose, your radiant Human Experience… Or, what’s even the point of everything if we are not going for it?

If we are going to Play the Game, let’s PLAY the Game… Don’t sign up for it and then sit on the sidelines… Get me? 

Your Blueprint for Success

Now, it is not sufficient to finally own what we desire and create a vision… We need a mechanism for creating the thing… We need a map, a plan, a strategy, a system, a structure of sorts

Regardless of what mechanism you choose, what you are going for is a way to stay the course, to not rely on self-discipline and will power, to keep you focused, and inspired and motivated… 

Here’s how to set yourself up for success:

~ Establish self-care, self-love, and joy practices in your everyday…

~ Be intentional and graceful with how you show-up for yourself, your relationship and your life…

~ Implement aligned, leveraged habits in your daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly routines…

~ Seek support by outsourcing, automating and delegating to create more efficiency and flow…

~ Commit to personal growth and relationship enrichment on an ongoing basis… 

By designing a lifestyle that supports your dreams, you’re creating a roadmap to success in every area of life. This is how you win the game of life and experience it as the Grand Adventure it’s meant to be.

So, make it your business to Map Out Your Lifestyle with practices that support the relationship and life experience you want to have. 

Happy Mapping! 

With Much Love & Light! 

 

Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

>> Download our Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

 

PS: Related Articles

Why you need Purpose in your life
Do you have Clarity?
Why have a 100-Year Vision Plan…
Let your Values rule your life
Live by your Character and Practical Strengths
How to waltz into the New Year!
How to Upshift for your New Beginning [VIDEO]
How to make sure you get your New Beginning
Create a New Beginning with your partner this New Year [VIDEO]
Creating new beginnings through connection and collaboration
What would you like to have more of in the New Year?
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
Are you achieving your relationship goals?
Are you a strong partnership?
Do You Support Each Other?
Does your Couple Brand need upgrading?
Tired of feeling stuck in your relationship?
Tired of fighting without resolution?
Tired of the same old issue?
Tired of feeling disconnected?
Tired of feeling overwhelmed?

 

PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our private and group memberships:
Success Membership

Radiance Membership

Look forward to seeing you inside!

 

   Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include:
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™
with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com

New Year, New Quarter Century: How to Uplevel Your Relationship and Your Life

New Year, New Quarter Century: How to Uplevel Your Relationship and Your Life

A brand spanking new year, and the start of a New Quarter Century, #Q2Y2K. Isn’t that something? Big milestone years give me the tingles. I find them super exciting as markers and opportunities for grand gestures, grand plans or intentions, and absolutely for Grand New Beginnings. This is an opportunity to reset ourselves, our relationship, and our life. To set ourselves on a new path, for a new future. We can choose what we want this next segment of time to be like in our Journey… We can design our ideal future. Embracing this perspective is super empowering for having the Experience we desire… Here is to New Year Goals to uplevel our relationship and our life. 

But this might feel like an enormous undertaking, intimidating and too elusive to tackle… You might wonder, where do I even start to create such a Grand New Beginning… I hear you. 

Fear not, let’s make this accessible, manageable as well as fun!

First off, though we can use great milestone years as measurements of time, big transitions, and give them any meaning we like, as we are doing here as a motivational and inspirational perspective- let’s remember that time is actually non-linear… 

In time-space reality, everything we want to achieve or create or experience is already here… Everything is happening right now- past, present, and future. All possible realities. Everything… I’ll spare us even the most basic lesson in quantum physics and the interconnectedness of everything… I’m just a curious quantum physics enthusiast. But you can dig into this on your own if you are also curious about what is possible for our Experience… 

So our brain and mind don’t go on the fritz, creating more resistance to change than we might already experience, let’s tackle this from our usual perspective, as if time is linear… But just know that I’ll be tricky and sprinkle in tactics and practices to effortlessly activate us for our Grander Experience… You are welcome.

How to Set a Vision for the New Quarter Century

Ok, so we don’t have to overcomplicate it, philosophize too much, or make it scary to go for a Grander Experience in our life…

If you find that you are thinking things like: My life is perfectly fine as is. Or, I have no idea of what I want and don’t even know where to start, even thinking about this is too overwhelming. Or, Going for Grander is too much, I don’t have it in me to work harder for more. Or, I’m barely surviving and managing my life and my relationship, never mind this grand idea. Or, some version of these. Then, your mindset needs a little decluttering so you don’t hold yourself back from what is possible for you, your relationship and your life… 

Let’s start there and then go for it! 

Declutter Your Mindset for Transformation

What got us here won’t get us there… If you are looking to uplevel your relationship and your life, you need to uplevel your approach to them… 

These things will no longer cut it: Focusing on what doesn’t work or how unhappy we might be, victimizing ourselves, not believing in ourselves or our worthiness birthright, lacking a vision and goals, stretching ourselves thin and rejecting support or blessings, taking life too seriously and getting stuck in the weeds, lacking strategy and systems, lacking focus, prioritization, and periodization, neglecting ourselves, not cultivating joy, not investing in deepening connections, blaming our partner… 

These are a Lower-Self way of operating… They keep us in the grind, in disappointment and pain, symptoms or breakdowns riddled, in repeating dissatisfying patterns, and just experiencing a mediocre relationship and life at best…

THE KEY HERE – Is to explore the opposite of the approach above. Deconstruct and reprogram any conditioning and limiting believes. Heal wounds to reprogram defenses and patterns. Invest in self-regulation and personal development. Invest in improving and enriching your relationship. Learn productivity and efficiency skills and tools, without buying into a toxic hustle culture. Commit to a focused and disciplined but soft approach that allows you to create all you desire. Embrace a mindfulness practice to connect to your Higher-Self and tap into creation energy, into Unity or Love Consciousness, for a connected, synergistic and radiant Divine Human Experience… 

Expand Your Perspective For a New Vision

Once you feel realigned with a Higher Perspective… and are committed to embracing and practicing a different approach, you can dive into what kind of relationship and life you want to create, experience, live… 

This is where you explore your dreams, your heart’s desires. Where you create a relationship and life vision. Where you identify your goals and design a way of life and work to help you achieve them. Where you go for the epic s*t you want to experience and live in this lifetime. Where you fulfill your Prime Directive, your Soul’s Directive, of what it wants to experience and how it wants to expand…

THIS IS WHERE – You explore what is the Highest Potential you can imagine for every area of your life. For if you can see it, envision it, it means that you can achieve it… Your brain and mind can’t fathom the unfathomable. Get creative, go all out, dream big, go for the BHAG (big hairy audacious goal), think about what would make your life superhuman, super extraordinary, and what this means about the person you need to become – how you stretch into the best version of you… You 5.0! Commit to getting on the path for a Journey to that magnificent destination. For if you even achieve 10% of that massive vision, you’ve done better for yourself than if you hadn’t gone for any vision at all… 

Here is a list of the life areas to ponder and play with, but you can tweak this list to better fit your circumstance:

  1. Health, fitness, mental health, spirituality
  2. Personal development, personal growth, character strengths
  3. Romantic relationship / partnership
  4. Parenting, family
  5. Social, friendships, communities, networks
  6. Work, career, profession, business
  7. Financial health, income streams, assets, wealth, financial freedom
  8. Environments (homes, offices, other)
  9. Leisure, hobbies, experiences
  10. Legacy, impact, giving back, passion projects, cause, mission

Manifest Your Supreme Reality

After we get out of our own way with how we experience and create our life, envision what is possible and commit to having a Grander Experience, then we are ready to create, manifest, what we desire… We can go for a Supreme Reality! 

What does this mean? It means we commit to creating our life by design and invest in living the design… 

THIS MEANS – We identify the micro processes and choices we need to put in place and make on a consistent basis for the cumulative result of creating what we want. We moderate the grind- we still drill and focus and prioritize and choose intentionally how to live all our moments. But we do not hustle, overdo it, drive ourselves into the ground or neglect what is important in the Journey. We invest in systems and support for a softer approach and a worthy Journey… We cultivate Joy

So, we make an investment in the top 3 life areas that need the most attention for a leveraged upleveling of our relationship and our life. These are usually: Health, Relationship/s, and Prosperity for people. What are yours? Take an immediate action to start moving the needle forward in them… Implement a new habit, tactic, practice, or have the conversation, set the boundary, make the call, set up the appointment, book the thing, and so on… 

THIS ALSO MEANS – Getting on the same page with your partner… Discussing values, dreams, goals, priorities, tactics, habits to design your shared life and how to integrate those elements to create the relationship and life you both love! 

>> Download our Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

And, my Lovelies, is how we start this New Year on the right foot on the right path for a magnificent Journey this New Quarter Century! What will your relationship and your life look like in 25 years if you made a dent in your Vision this year…? Good stuff, right?

Let’s commit to staying the course. Get whatever support you need to help you along- let’s do this! 

With Much Love & Light!

 

LAST CHANCE FOR OUR HOLIDAY OFFERS!

Want to take your relationship and your life to the next level? Want to:

Stop the fighting, easily get on the same page, change repeating patterns, deepen and expand your connection and intimacy, and create a strong collaborative partnership? 

Create a harmonious, joyous, and loving relationship and home?

👉 Get Started with an Initial Session- now at 25% OFF, use code NEWYEARS, and get a BONUS SESSION when you enroll to work with us!
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Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel

Download our Core Values Guide to align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!

 

PS: Related Articles

Why you need Purpose in your life
Do you have Clarity?
Why have a 100-Year Vision Plan…
Let your Values rule your life
Live by your Character and Practical Strengths
How to waltz into the New Year!
How to Upshift for your New Beginning [VIDEO]
How to make sure you get your New Beginning
Create a New Beginning with your partner this New Year [VIDEO]
Creating new beginnings through connection and collaboration
What would you like to have more of in the New Year?
New habits, routines and motivation
The power of having Intentional Habits™
Staying motivated with your new year’s intentions
Are you achieving your relationship goals?
Are you a strong partnership?
Do You Support Each Other?
Does your Couple Brand need upgrading?
Tired of feeling stuck in your relationship?
Tired of fighting without resolution?
Tired of the same old issue?
Tired of feeling disconnected?
Tired of feeling overwhelmed?

 

PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?

Interested in Couple Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Individual Therapy or Support Sessions?

We can help with our private and group memberships:
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Look forward to seeing you inside!

 

   Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.

 

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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™
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