There is a difference on how successful couples show up to their relationship, versus how couples who struggle in their relationship do. The couples that create an amazing relationship are fully committed to their partner and to making the relationship work. They know that life might throw curveballs and that they might experience challenges, but they are committed to seeing them through together. They don’t look at their relationship and their partner as disposable if they hit a rough patch in the relationship. They are all in and willing to figure it out.
They are willing to put in what it takes to crack the code at creating a radiant and successful relationship. They invest in themselves and the relationship to continue to uplevel their game.
Making this level of commitment might be innate to the partners, who they are as people, and their development level. It might also have to do with how much personal work they’ve done for themselves, and how they have embraced a Relationship Enrichment Lifestyle. Meaning that they are super intentional about minding their relationship and prioritizing their partner…
Through my work with couples during almost 3 decades at this point, I have come to see similar patterns that playout in relationships for couples that are struggling. These cluster into 5 main areas of relationship. These patterns when not addressed wreak havoc in the relationship and present a serious struggle for the partners. Gone unaddressed create demise for the relationship. They corrode the bond and the partners’ love. They get in the way of partners creating the relationship they desire and love.
Addressing those patterns, facilitating personal development and expansion, and providing relationship insights, tools and skills, informed a therapeutic approach that I’ve named the Transcendental Relationship Therapy™, that includes our signature process, the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
THE SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP STRATEGY™
The Strategy consists of 5 Elements, the 5 relationship areas, that when optimized create a transformation for a couple that is struggling. Successful couples tackle these elements naturally, intentionally investing in improving on them as needed. They bring higher level of awareness to their relationship.
Here I provide a brief description of the Elements along with how partners who struggle go wrong in these areas, and a takeaway for immediate implementation and transformation. And I offer 4 virtues to cultivate for each of the 5 Element to assist you uplevel in that particular aspect of your relationship. You’ll have 20 virtues to play with as you like to start transforming your relationship to the relationship you desire and that you both love…
Element 1 – Circumstance (Context) & Mindset
This has to do with how we choose to show up, what we contribute to the relationship including our believes, our values, our dreams, and our desires. This is all our mental content and patterns, all our subconscious programs and conditioning. And how we approach boundaries and personal ownership.
Couples that struggle bring stories of victimhood and have old scripts and limiting beliefs running rampant and coloring their experience. They also have thought patterns, habits, and a strong negativity bias that don’t support them in creating what they desire. They point fingers, blame, and pass the bucket. They don’t have strong accountability or take full responsibility for themselves. These partners are quick to state how they partner needs to change or what they need to improve…
Takeaway > Focus on cleaning up and updating your relationship mindset to that of being fully in and being allies, for engaging with your partner as the most important person in your life- your Partner in this life Journey…
Virtues to Cultivate
Commitment – Demonstrating loyalty and dedication shows your partner they can count on you, even through challenges. Commitment reinforces the longevity of the relationship. >> Commit to a specific caring gesture your partner loves that you’ll do at a cadence of your choice
Confidence – Believing in yourself and your worth enhances self-esteem and helps create a balanced relationship where both partners feel valued. >>Take on a hobby or activity you enjoy to stretch and expand yourself
Conviction – Standing by your values and principles helps guide the relationship in a positive direction, ensuring both partners grow together with integrity. >> Identify your values (get our Core Values Guide!) to share with your partner and to create shared ones
Contentment – Appreciating your partner and the relationship as it fosters gratitude and satisfaction, reducing unnecessary friction or conflict. >> Implement a shared Relationship Gratitude Journal, Appreciation Sessions, or other gratitude practice
Element 2 – Communication & Alignment
This has to do with getting on the same page, resolving conflict, making decisions, having genuine apologies, and having meaningful conversations. It involves using healthy communication skills and tools, being respectful, receptive, attuned, and authentic. Having great communication goes a long way.
Couples that struggle focus on saying their piece, pushing their agenda, and getting their way. Even the quiet partners have this underlaying pattern, though they might have different drivers and motivations. They don’t utilize proper communication tools and skills, even when they have them. Making assumptions about their partner’s motives, intentions, desires, and so on. They escalate disagreements, don’t repair properly, if at all, and have a difficult time getting to any resolutions.
Takeaway > Focus in upgrading, upleveling and enhancing your communication skills and tools
Virtues to Cultivate
Clarity – Communicating your needs, feelings, and thoughts clearly prevents misunderstandings. Clarity also means being transparent about intentions and expectations. >> Identify a small topic that usually trips you up, and invite your partner to chat about it with better skills
Civility– Being polite and respectful during both good and bad times ensures that conflicts are handled gracefully and that feelings are protected and the bond safeguarded. >> Invite your partner into a challenge or game of civility- see who wins at being more courteous!
Carefulness– Being thoughtful about your words and actions shows care for your partner’s feelings. It ensures that decisions are made with their well-being in mind. >> Take an action you’ve been postponing to show your partner you get it and care
Courage– Having the courage to express vulnerability, tackle tough conversations, or navigate challenges strengthens the bond and promotes growth. >> Create a moment to share 3 vulnerable or risqué thoughts about yourself with your partner…
Element 3 – Clarity & Dynamics
This has to do with our relationship dynamics… The patterns we repeat from unresolved childhood issues, wounds, or disappointments… We call this the relationship loop… This is where a partner’s sensitivities or wounds get triggered, to which they respond with their usual defense mechanisms, which in turn trigger their partner, and when they respond with their own defense mechanisms trigger the initial triggered partner some more… This is where all the emotional content, patterns, and programming resides. All our unconscious and buried conditioning driving the show.
Couples that struggle have a hard time self-regulating, they are easily triggered and become reactive, turning disagreements into arguments and possibly fights with the potential for further escalation. They have the same repeating conflicts and unresolved issues. They have poor insight and awareness as to their sensitivities, emotional drivers, and patterns. And they also lack awareness as to their impact on their partner and their needs, boundaries, and sensitivities. These are some indicators of codependency in the relationship.
Takeaway > Focus on identifying and addressing your triggers, your core wounds or unresolved issues, and your defense mechanisms that contribute to getting stuck in a power struggle- your loop…
Virtues to Cultivate
Calmness – Remaining calm during disagreements helps prevent escalation and promotes constructive communication. It fosters a peaceful environment where both partners feel secure. >> Implement a mindfulness practice to assist you get grounded, integrated and regulated for more resilience
Composure – Staying emotionally composed during conflicts prevents regrettable actions or words, allowing for thoughtful resolution and healing. >>Think on the things that usually aggravate you and identify a deeper need beneath it that you can meet
Compassion – Empathizing with your partner’s struggles and offering support without judgment deepens emotional intimacy and trust. >> On a daily find something to be compassionate for towards your partner
Consistency – Being dependable and predictable in your behavior builds trust and security in the relationship. Small, consistent acts of love make a big difference. >> Identify a behavior that meets your partners deeper needs to do on a regular basis
Element 4 – Connection & Intimacy
This has to do with creating, maintaining, and deepening connectionin our relationship. As well as exploring our physical intimacy, expanding our passion, and taking it to new heights for sacred love making and earth shuttering connection. This is where partners flirt, play and have fun together.
Couples that struggle barely show up to their relationship. They show up with toxic habits and old patterns, and with their Lower Self… They neglect their relationship and not prioritize their partner. Everything else gets their best energy and attention- from their children to their career or business to miscellaneous stuff! When our partner is THE most important partnership and resource we have in this life experience… Neglecting our relationship is like boarding up a gold mine…
Takeaway > Focus on prioritizing your partner and the relationship in your thoughts, your actions, and how you manage your energy, bandwidth, and time
Virtues to Cultivate
Caring – Expressing genuine concern for your partner’s physical and emotional health strengthens trust and deepens the bond. Small acts of care, like checking in or offering support, go a long way. >> Build in Connection Habits™ to automate nurturing your relationship!
Charity – Practicing generosity in giving time, attention, and support demonstrates selflessness in the relationship. Charity here also includes giving grace and forgiving mistakes. >> Set aside consistent Couple Time to have fun together, debrief or address things, and connect more meaningfully
Cheerfulness – Bringing joy and positivity to the relationship helps create an uplifting atmosphere. A cheerful attitude can lighten tense moments and keep the relationship fun. >> Bring out the fun, lightness and joy with cute, funny, and playful gestures
Creativity – Finding new ways to keep the relationship exciting and fresh, such as planning unique dates or surprises, enhances joy and connection. >>This is where Dating Your Partner comes in – make it fun! (get our Dating Your Partner protocol!)
Element 5 – Collaboration & Partnership
This has to do with creating a strong partnership, a well-oiled machine to run the business of life and create a shared life you both love. The key is to divide and conquer utilizing your own strengths and having each other’s back. Setting up structures and systems and implementing support to smoothly take care of the mundane responsibilities, and saving time to apply to meaningful projects, ventures or activities.
Couples that struggle are chaotic and overwhelmed. They haven’t clarified expectations, clearly divided responsibilities, they don’t have efficient and rewarding daily and weekly routines, they don’t have systems for collaborating and taking care of business. They get in each other’s way and sabotage any progress they might make. They are inconsistent in their efforts and frequently end up behind the eight ball.
Takeaway > Focus on creating cadences to help you synchronize with your partner around sharing responsibilities and running a smooth life
Virtues to Cultivate
Collaboration – Collaborating on a shared vision, planning the future, shared goals, and mapping out strategies strengthens unity and alignment. >> Have a talk about what kind of life you want to create and live and how you’d like to go about creating it
Cooperation – Working as a team to achieve goals, get things done, manage your shared life, and resolve conflicts, demonstrates teamwork and mutual respect. >> Make sure you have a divide and conquer approach to all your responsibilities (get our Relationship Collaboration System!)
Compromise – Finding common ground during disagreements ensures that both partners’ needs are met, strengthening understanding, acceptance and belonging. >> Identify an activity or pursuit that you usually struggle getting on the same page on and find the common ground there
Competence – Being reliable and capable in fulfilling responsibilities (e.g., managing finances, supporting during tough times) contributes to a stable and dependable partnership. >> Select a task or project flowing from your shared goals that can draw from your brilliance to run with and crush it
This is a framework to assist you assess where you need to invest more or differently in your relationship to create the transformation you seek and ultimately your Radiant and Successful Relationship, and meaningful life.
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
NEW! Monthly Activating Protocols Establish Your Highest Potential in 10 Key Life Areas, Design Your New Life Having a North Star ensures we stay the course on the path we desire on our Journey. It ensures we create the relationship and life we love, and have the Human Experience we desire… In this activation, we walk through a Visioning and Expansion Process to reprogram and reset for the New Year… We take a deep dive and activate the Highest Potential in 10 Life Areas to drive your reset. You get to explore your heart’s desires and identify the specific actions, tactic, or habits you’ll implement to create your New Beginnings, and your Ideal New Life… We design your ideal lifestyle you can start living immediately that’s the framework to live your Grand Life Adventure…
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW
RESOURCES
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our FREE 1-pg Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership– Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast? Contact us about a possible collaboration!
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Feeling the winter blues? You are not alone. This second part of January is usually challenging for people for several reasons. But we don’t have to let the blah mood, feelings, and energy take over, and make life more difficult for ourselves. We can increase our awareness of what is happening for us, instead of being steeped in it with no light in sight. Picking up our head and bringing more consciousness to our situation allows us to tap into our resources and snap ourselves out of it.
Here are 5 reasons we are feeling the winter blues, including seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and 3 powerful ways of addressing them to elevate ourselves into new beginnings, and our New Ideal Future…
5 Reasons for the Winter Blues
There is no shame or judgement about being afflicted by the winter blues. You might be experiencing some blahs and lack of motivation. Or you might be feeling straight up *depressed. Regardless of where you are on the spectrum, these will help you have your own back, feel better and get moving in the right direction for you and for your new future…
The Holidays are usually toughand their impact have a tendency to linger. You might have had a bit of momentum with the start of the New Year with stepping up your game to start the new year right. But soon after, any lingering and new negative feelings emerge as the accelerated pace, excitement, personal time, and availability for connection go back to normal and there is a sense of loss or let down.
Cold and Dark Winter Days
As there is a bit of hibernation, isolation, less sun light, fresh air, connection to nature, and shorter days that make it difficult to feel in the flow, bright and energized. Our circadian rhythm is off as we don’t properly align our life with sunup and sundown… And a lot of our biological systems get thrown off affecting our brain function and mood. Our mental healthis impacted.
Financial Strain
Around this time is when it becomes more obvious how much the holiday season had an impact on our finances. Even if we were intentional about our spending, there might still be a part of us that feels the impact of the additional spending.
Unfulfilled New Year’s Resolutions or Intentions
We all have the best of intentions to have our Best Year Yet, but nonetheless might be quick to fall into our usual routines, patterns, and lose sight of the changes we want to make. We let up on creating the new habits. And on addressing any frictions or obstacles to fully implementing any changes to our routines.
Lack of Motivation
We are already feeling depleted from all the above, and additionally don’t we might not have a dream, a vision, and goals to pull us forward, inspire us and excite us. It makes sense that we’d be lost, stuck or gloomy and not feel like tackling anything.
We can experience any combination of the above to some extent. The result is having a bumpy start to the new year and feeling like we are behind the 8ball. That we are not upleveling properly and timely for our best year yet. We might feel impostor syndrome, judgment, shame, fear, inertia at being in this place, making the whole thing even worse.
3 Empowering Ways to Beat the Winter Blues
The only thing to do is to be kind and compassionate with ourselves when we are not feeling well. To be gentle and loving, and to have our own back to get ourselves on the right track, and rocking it before we know it.
Manage Yourself and Your Feelings
The key is to self-soothe/regulate, self-care and energize ourselves.
Self-soothe – Use practices to manage and alleviate the feelings, change your mood, and uplevel your state: Meditation, breathing techniques, EFT, mindfulness, journaling, addressing limiting believes, cultivating joy, decreasing screen time, and focusing on things that are in our control (personal ownership and accountability).
Self-care – Aside from the above focus taking care of yourself: Proper sleep, nutrition, hydration, supplementation, exercise, personal care.
Step up the fun and connection – Be super intentional about having positive experiences and nurturing connection: Schedule connection time with your partner and other loved ones, intentionally participate in your networks, map out and schedule or book fun experiences, play at old or new hobbies.
Address Financial Distress
Regardless of your financial situation, the key here is to get a handle on where you are at and to make a plan to get back on track. Whether it’s to eliminate debt, replenish savings, start investing or some other goal. Of course, consider consulting a financial advisor to support you implement the right plan for you to achieve your financial goals.
Activate Your North Star
This one is my favorite. Aligning ourselves with our higher-self, our purpose, and what kind of life we want to live is the way to create that life. Identify what is your Grand Life Experience you are here to live… What is the vision, the purpose, the dream. Then identify specific goals against that vision to create it… And specific habits, tactics, and strategies to achieve them. Without a roadmap, a vehicle, and the gas you won’t get very far. This is the inspiration and motivation to propel you forward. You don’t need to depend on will power, discipline and grit. Tap into inspiration!
If even the above feel daunting, know that it is totally fine to move at your own pace, to honor where you are, to take care of yourself, and take tiny actions on the above to get yourself moving in the right direction. And, of course, get yourself support as needed!
Wishing you clear sunny days, and an amazing New Year and New Future…
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
NEW! Monthly Activating Protocols Establish Your Highest Potential in 10 Key Life Areas, Design Your New Life Having a North Star ensures we stay the course on the path we desire on our Journey. It ensures we create the relationship and life we love, and have the Human Experience we desire… In this activation, we walk through a Visioning and Expansion Process to reprogram and reset for the New Year… We take a deep dive and activate the Highest Potential in 10 Life Areas to drive your reset. You get to explore your heart’s desires and identify the specific actions, tactic, or habits you’ll implement to create your New Beginnings, and your Ideal New Life… We design your ideal lifestyle you can start living immediately that’s the framework to live your Grand Life Adventure…
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW
RESOURCES
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our FREE 1-pg Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership– Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast? Contact us about a possible collaboration!
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Relationships are a funny thing. We love them, we love to be in them, but a lot of times we struggle in them. Our romantic relationship, our partnership, is one of the most important things in our life, and yet, it might seem it isn’t by how we treat it and prioritize it in our life… Sometimes our partner is lucky if they even get on the priority list… Specially during this time of year, when our plates are so full that we might feel we have less time to do more stuff in.
When we get so hectic with demands, responsibilities and managing ourselves, it is very easy for our relationship to take a hit…
And this doesn’t mean that it’s hopeless. That it can’t work. That it’ll never be back to normal or that we won’t ever crack the code.
This just means that we are experiencing the very normal ebb and flow that happens in relationships. Sometimes things are great, sometimes we go through a little slump.
It is during the down times that we have to be more intentional about getting ourselves back on track, so we don’t create more wear and tear, and more importantly so that we don’t create irreparable damage… When we neglect our partner and our relationship for too long, or put them through the ringer too roughly, is like taking a knife to our bond… Once severed, it is very difficult to put it back together…
When we experience disharmony and disconnection, it’s important we invest in regaining the harmony, the connection, the joy… And we do that through reparative initiatives to resolve any disagreements, to get on the same page, to show and get understanding, acceptance, empathy, and compassion, to make amends…
As we ride the ebb and flow, we expand with each code we crack, with every repair, with every realignment, with every recommitment. This is the magic of being in relationship. At the end of the day, we are in relationship for our own expansion… Our partner is our Life Partner, they are a part of our Journey and to be treated with the at most regard due that role…
The key in all this is that we consistently invest in our relationship, in our partnership, to create our dream relationship for our best experience and most expansion…
~ During the highs we invest in continuing our evolution and expansion, in nurturing and enriching our relationship, in taking it to the next level…
Our relationship is the vehicle through which we experience ourselves the most… Through our relationship we can explore, and expand, ourselves.
To not tap into this built in Journey Hack, and the Synergy that’s inherently part of our Union, is such a waste…
I offer that we take our relationship lightly-seriously for all that it has to offer us… And to do it justice, have our own back, and have the best Human Experience, that we tap into resources available to us to support us in our Journey.
In this episode, I have a delightful and empowering conversation with Victoria Sotelo, also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, about how to create a healthy, harmonious, and honoring ebb and flow in our long-term relationship with our Partner.
We discuss: how to repair when things get off track, what might get us off track and roadblocks that disrupt our connection, how to get unstuck, the importance of identifying our core needs and operating from our values, and activating a positive approach and state of being to show up compassionately and lovingly in our relationship. But as if that wasn’t wonderful enough, we discussed how to create a Relationship Vision and how to nurture the relationship during the holidays!
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Victoria Sotelo brings a heart of compassion and passionate energy for cultivating healthy Marriages and Sexual Intimacy to her clients. She practices from an integrative model, incorporating the Biological-Psychological-Social-& Spiritual aspects of her client’s lives. Her excellent listening skills and problem-solving methods, along with her clinical experience, position her as a therapist with a balanced approach. Victoria has lectured to groups and professionals on ways to deepen sexual intimacy, and improve the quality of life, both in marriage, family, and personal growth potential. Victoria holds an LMFT license in New York, New Jersey, and Florida. You can find her HERE.
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Get our FREE 1-pg downloadableEnd-Of-Year and New-Year Planning Process (ENP Process)for establishing a shared life vision, creating a life and relationship plan, and starting the New Year with a New Relationship and New Your!
~~ Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership – Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership– Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast?
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Do you find that you often butt heads with your partner when dealing with the business of life? Or that you operate as if you are lost at sea without any direction, and you end up wherever the tide takes you? This has to do with not being on the same page, or not having a clear joint life vision and plan. It also has to do with each of your own personal development levels and relationship dynamics. The more pronounced the impasses, powerstruggles, drama, chaos, and lack of forward movement experienced by the partners, the more wounding and developmental delay that might be plaguing the couple…
I have been expressly adding another dimension to our personal growth and healing and relationship dynamics work to better assist couples with their relationship transformation. We’ve been playing with owning more our masculine and feminine characteristics… The interplay in their polarity for our personal wellness and for the success and radiance of our relationship just can’t continue to be ignored (as always, this is regardless of gender).
How the differences between the set of characteristics have been played down can no longer be ignored inside or outside the context of our relationship. Continuing to do so seemingly to create equality among the genders, just continues to reinforce the patriarchy… It does no one any good for the feminine characteristics and energy to continue to be oppressed… For everyone to seem more alike, “equal”, and bonded in our more coveted masculine traits and characteristics…
Just like we polarize in a host of other ways in our relationship validating the opposites attract paradigm, this is another layer that is to be taken more seriously for the vitality and success of our relationship.
For not doing so is a complete disregard for ourselves and the experience with our partner. Disowning major parts of ourselves and lopsiding our relationship energetics makes for unhealthy partners and messy relationship dynamics. And, not conducive for creating our epic love affair with our partner and our best life, our grander human experience…
There are 3 levels of development for each set of characteristics, and both apply to both partners…
~ Dormant – This is when we are not even aware that we have a range of characteristics available to us, and that we might be shut down to part of the range… Or that we are not fully owning our more inherent side of the spectrum of characteristics. We shut down part of ourselves…
~ Distorted – This is when we begin to wake up to other aspects of ourselves, but we are wobbly in their use. This is when we show up with our toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. This is when we act out especially with our more inherent energy or in its defense…
~ Divine – This is when we start to master the balance, integration, and polarization interplay of our characteristics, intentionally drawing from all the benefits of our wholeness… This is when we tap into the sacredness of each of our energies, when we use our energies to their full potential and glory. This is when we tap into ourrelationship inherent synergy. When we intentionally polarize with our partner to create our spark, passion, and bliss… This is how we create our sacred union, rejoice in oneness…
There is much to be said for owning all of ourselves, all of our tendencies, quirks, aspects, traits, characteristics, energies, and the like. Regardless of what we label things, there is something to be said for fully owning and honoring ourselves… For fully utilizing the avatar we are living our life through…
~~~
Whatever is not really working as you’d like in your life, put it through this lens and see if you get a different awareness as to what needs shifting, realigning, coming online, and so on…
See where you are developmentally. See where you are lopsided. See where you need to focus more attention. See how to embrace and cultivate your inherent side more. See how to support and give to yourself what your inherent energy needs… See how to fully honor all of yourself…
See how to support your partner in doing this for themselves, or just in supporting all parts of them… See how to give your partner’s inherent energy what it needs more.
See how to polarize to invite your partner’s polarity to come out to play…
As you experiment and tend to this, you’ll automatically start creating changes in your programs, patterns, and dynamics. Pay attention to how you are experiencing yourself and your world differently, and how everything and everyone start to respond differently to you… Enjoy!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
There is a reason why our relationship seems to have lost the fizzle, or when we find that we are getting on each other’s nerves, bickering, or fighting more. When we feel stuck. Partners might attribute different reasons to this, and they might be very valid. But there is usually an underlaying reason that when tapped into and addressed, creates massive shifts for the partners, the relationship, AND their lives…
Today’s reason might seem illusive or abstract, but regardless, when partners play with this concept they are rewarded for their investment.
We are talking about fully owning all aspects of ourselves… But specifically to today’s topic, to owning both our masculine and our feminine aspects, characteristics, traits, energies… Because of social conditioning and the current way of things in our still very patriarchal society, we have oppressed our feminine side… Most of us are a lot more comfortable with our masculine traits, embracing and leading with them and judge, put down, or disown our feminine ones…
This leaves us operating with less than our full selves, and for those of us who are inherently more feminine and suppress those aspects end up really operating at a lower capacity. When we don’t own or utilize the greater part of ourselves, we experience mental and physical illness along with creating unnecessary friction and discomfort in our relationship.
If we are showing up with our masculine, what is our masculine partner to do? And I’m not talking about gender… Opposite energies attract, and when the more inherently masculine partner is met with their partner showing up with their own masculine, when the unspoken agreement is that they are to show up more with their inherent feminine, they are at a loss for how to show up. This leaves the inherently more feminine partner desiring their partner to show up more in their masculine, but of course they can’t because the role is already filled. Or they do, and problems arise… As you have two masculine energies trying to have a romantic relationship…
Similarly for the inherently masculine partner, they are limited in using their masculine because their partner might be showing up with it, and their feminine is also oppressed…
A conundrum for the couple indeed and a terribly disempowering situation for partners…
We are not saying that it’s a No No for the more feminine partners to use their masculine traits. For that would mean over compensating the other way and inviting a host of other issues…
Again, we all have both energies to varying degrees and our job is to own them fully so we are whole, enabling us to have our better human experience…
The key is to integrate the traits, energies within ourselves and to learn to intentionally use them in different contexts for better outcomes…
Additionally, in the context of our romantic relationship, when we polarize, we generate the spark we desire as opposites attract…
Playing at integrating the traits within ourselves and at creating a dance with our partner’s allows us to really manifest all we desire and become our most radiant selves.
First things first – recognize what traits you lead with and which you are oppressing…
Secondly – start owning and using all of your traits more…
Thirdly – support your partner in using all of their traits, especially their inherently opposite ones…
As a result of these qualities, each energy has different needs:
~ The Masculine needs appreciation, freedom, purpose
~ The Feminine needs attention, security, nourishing
When we start owning all of our characteristics and finding the balance between them for ourselves, we become whole and more vibrant. We are in our glory.
When the more integrated partners meet and complement in the interaction with their polarities that’s where the magic happens. This is when the union feels sacred…
Give it a shot, start owning and polarizing your traits more, and see how things start shifting immediately in your interactions and overall in your relationship and in your life…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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