Call me weird, call me naïve, call me a hopeless romantic, but I choose to believe there is more love in the air and in the world than we sometimes see… I know this might be an unpopular opinion given the state of the world, but our reality is what we make of it. While plenty may challenge this belief, our reality is shaped our own state of mind…
Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Beautiful Life? It’s about a father in a concentration camp who shields their young son from the horrors of their situation by turning it into a game. Because of his father’s unwavering perspective, the boy never experiences the trauma of their conditions in the same way. Watch the trailer here
This story reminds us of something profound:
We are super powerful creators…
What we think and what we believe, we manifest…
What we focus on, grows…
Why not put this superpower to work, as we can create whatever we desire.
For me, that means focusing on love- helping couples create their radiant and successful relationship and rekindling their love. Actually, not just rekindle it but create something new, a New Love…
What is this New Love?
For starters, the concept of New Love is about transcending our limitations to be as loving as we can be…
~ Letting go of the pettiness of our lower self
~ Releasing attachments to perceived limitations
~ Having grace for our own and other’s shortcomings
~ Being generous with- kindness, openness, flexibility, understanding, acknowledgement, acceptance, forgiveness, empathy, compassion, attention, affection, nurturing, support, cooperation, collaboration (Correlating to the 5 Elements of the Successful Relationship Strategy™)
~ Investing in win-win outcomes and elevating love as a collective experience
This Higher Perspective elevates us for a Grander Experience…
When we filter life through pettiness, we act petty
When we filter life through generosity, we act generously
When we filter life through love, we act lovingly
We can identify what we want to create and experience, and have it grow by simply focusing on and cultivating its related virtue, quality, feeling or state.
What this mean for our relationship
Here is the beautiful part: Aside from just feeling amazing and having a fabulous personal experience, you’ll notice your partner starts to shift along…
We can’t possibly operate from this Higher Perspective and not have it rub off on others, especially the ones closest to us, like our partner.
But a word of caution: Our approach has to be authentic and heart-felt. Not just lip service, hedging, conditions, or strings attached. Which are lower-self’s rules of engagement… With limiting underlying programming still running the show… This is the larger part of us and wins every time. So if there is a discrepancy between how we are showing up or our desire and what our programming dictates, the programming will impact the outcome no matter how hard we try…
Your partner and others will always respond to the underlying patterns, regardless of the words and actions. That’s why so many people say, “I tried everything, and nothing worked.”
We want to bring consciousness to our patterns allowing for a sustainable Higher Perspective. For there we can fill the space left behind by the dissolved patterns with the good stuff…
Now is the time to embrace this New Love.
Give it shot: Address your patterns and replace prior sabotaging habits with ones that nourish you, nurture your relationship, and delight your partner…
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Aside from financial strain, many couples start considering divorce when find themselves frequently in conflict or no longer feeling the relationship…
At its core, these issues often stem from undermining relationship patterns or a lack of connection… And can easily be addressed by enriching the relationship and deepening the connection between the partners…
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce.
That said, I understand how the idea of investing in the relationship and deepening connection might want to make you throw up in your mouth if you are currently at odds or feeling completely estranged. I get it, especially if:
~ Conversations derail no matter how hard you try to get on the same page
~ You feel you are the one doing all the work- apologizing, planning, and trying to make things better
~ The idea of being available, open, or vulnerable feels overwhelming or even terrifying
~ Making the first move toward connection or intimacy feels awkward and unnatural
~ You worry that your partner might not understand or appreciate your efforts, or worse- might reject them outright
~ The things you’ve tried so far haven’t gained any traction or given the results you hoped for
~ Even if there is improvement, it often feels short-lived with the relationship slipping back into old patterns
These feelings are valid, and they are part of the challenge.
The truth is, if there is little effort to mindfully addressing issues, vulnerably sharing needs and preferences, and proactively investing in nurturing our relationship giving love and caring, the relationship has very little chance of surviving, never mind thriving…
These are antidotes to frequent conflicts and estrangement in our relationship… When we feel connected, we can have more understanding, give grace more readily, and find it easier to align, problem-solve, collaborate, and play together…
WHEN FREQUENT CONFLICTS IS THE CULPRIT
It is certainly not easy to be in a relationship that is riddled with tension and conflict. When conversations feel flat, superficial, or forced and the slightest truth can turn into a disagreement. When any behavior, decision, or comment has the potential to trigger a and argument that quickly escalate into a full-blown fight. When concerns or dislikes are left unspoken simply to avoid another argument.
This dynamic arises from the partners’ limiting belief systems, relationship mindset, communication styles, and defensive patterns. Creating habits and patterns that hinder the ability to show up compassionately, vulnerably, and authentically for one another.
~ Being Fully Committed – Closing any gaps or leaks and being intentionally building a successful relationship with a shared vision for a life together.
~ Taking Full Accountability – Owning your role in the current dynamic and making the necessary changes to foster different, more positive outcomes.
~ Proactively Addressing Challenges – Tackling what’s not working with compassion, kindness, and patience, while investing in nurturing and strengthening the relationship.
Making a commitment to making the relationship work, is in itself a powerful step toward making the relationship work…
WHEN ESTRANGEMENT IS THE CULPRIT
And it’s certainly not easy to be in a relationship that feels cold, distant, and transactional… Where the partners function more like roommates, prioritize their children over the relationship, or simply lead parallel lives. Where they might have challenges finding things in common or having fun together. Where they have let their physical intimacy fall by the wayside…
It is actually painful to live in a barren household or have a distant relationship. As humans, we have an innate need for connection, it’s hardwired into us as a fundamental part of our being. When we don’t meet this need, and especially if we have abandonment wounds, the pain can be excruciating. This pain invites our ugliest defense mechanisms as we try to cope with the distress…
Unfortunately, these defense mechanisms perpetuate the destructive power struggle cycle, the dissatisfying patterns, that couples experience when they haven’t invested in personal development and relationship enrichment.
The solution lies in creating, maintaining, and deepening their connection to create emotional safety that allows them to take the relationship and their intimacy to the next level:
~ Creating Connection – Gently reaching out for interest in connecting and nurturing the relationship. Showing interest in our partner with curiosity about their thoughts, feelings, experiences and desires.
~ Maintaining Connection – Implementing Connection Habits™ to protect the bond, cultivate a sense of closeness, and easily re-engage and reconnect even during challenging times.
~ Deepening Connection – Elevating interactions by engaging in more intimate, vulnerable, and authentic conversations that explore values, personal truths, emotions, and even existential topics for a richer and more profound connection.
Showing genuine interest in our partner can make a world of difference. When they feel truly valued, appreciated, understood, and desired the foundation of the relationship strengthens and the relationship starts to flourish.
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce. By addressing and transforming defense mechanisms, programs, and patterns that drive our interactions, and by actively investing in connecting with our partner, we pave the way the way for creating the relationship we desire.
It is up to us to prevent the demise of our relationship by showing up with the best of intentions and with our Best Self. Only then can our relationship become the relationship we both love.
Happy showing up…
With Much Love & Light!
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Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
As we settle into the New Year, many of us are exploring and integrating our new habits, tactics, practices, and routines… While the cold weather may not be my favorite, I love this season for one reason: It’s the perfect opportunity for a fresh start. And what’s more exciting than the chance to reset, realign, and step boldly onto a Grand New Path?
Failing to be intentional about how we begin a new year, or any significant milestone, is a missed opportunity. This is your moment to course-correct, realign for something meaningful, and set yourself up for your Best Year Yet.
Whether you’ve dabbled in Life Planning, Visioning, Shared Visioning, Goal Setting, New Year’s Resolutions, or simply Setting Intentions, now is the time to uplevel.
Here’s the secret: creating the life we desire boils down to three key steps:
Identifying what we desire.
Aligning ourselves with those desires.
Mapping out a plan to make them a reality.
But here’s the catch: too often, we don’t even know what we’re working toward. We haven’t thought about what kind of life we want to live. We have no idea what our needs are, and we want in our relationship and from our partner… We don’t know or practice what keeps us healthy and what gives up joy…
This is not how we create our Best Life, our Extraordinary Life and Epic Love…
Now, please, I don’t want to hear your thoughts that you are not interested in creating that. That you are OK with an Ok or Ordinary Life… If that were true, you wouldn’t be reading this… Please be honest with yourself and finally Align yourself with your desires, your purpose, your radiant Human Experience… Or, what’s even the point of everything if we are not going for it?
If we are going to Play the Game, let’s PLAY the Game… Don’t sign up for it and then sit on the sidelines… Get me?
Your Blueprint for Success
Now, it is not sufficient to finally own what we desire and create a vision… We need a mechanism for creating the thing… We need a map, a plan, a strategy, a system, a structure of sorts…
Regardless of what mechanism you choose, what you are going for is a way to stay the course, to not rely on self-discipline and will power, to keep you focused, and inspired and motivated…
Here’s how to set yourself up for success:
~ Establish self-care, self-love, and joy practices in your everyday…
~ Be intentional and graceful with how you show-up for yourself, your relationship and your life…
~ Implement aligned, leveraged habits in your daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly routines…
~ Seek support by outsourcing, automating and delegating to create more efficiency and flow…
~ Commit to personal growth and relationship enrichment on an ongoing basis…
By designing a lifestyle that supports your dreams, you’re creating a roadmap to success in every area of life. This is how you win the game of life and experience it as the Grand Adventure it’s meant to be.
So, make it your business to Map Out Your Lifestyle with practices that support the relationship and life experience you want to have.
>> Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
A brand spanking new year, and the start of a New Quarter Century, #Q2Y2K. Isn’t that something? Big milestone years give me the tingles. I find them super exciting as markers and opportunities for grand gestures, grand plans or intentions, and absolutely for Grand New Beginnings. This is an opportunity to reset ourselves, our relationship, and our life. To set ourselves on a new path, for a new future. We can choose what we want this next segment of time to be like in our Journey… We can design our ideal future. Embracing this perspective is super empowering for having the Experience we desire… Here is to New Year Goals to uplevel our relationship and our life.
But this might feel like an enormous undertaking, intimidating and too elusive to tackle… You might wonder, where do I even start to create such a Grand New Beginning… I hear you.
Fear not, let’s make this accessible, manageable as well as fun!
First off, though we can use great milestone years as measurements of time, big transitions, and give them any meaning we like, as we are doing here as a motivational and inspirational perspective- let’s remember that time is actually non-linear…
In time-space reality, everything we want to achieve or create or experience is already here… Everything is happening right now- past, present, and future. All possible realities. Everything… I’ll spare us even the most basic lesson in quantum physics and the interconnectedness of everything… I’m just a curious quantum physics enthusiast. But you can dig into this on your own if you are also curious about what is possible for our Experience…
So our brain and mind don’t go on the fritz, creating more resistance to change than we might already experience, let’s tackle this from our usual perspective, as if time is linear… But just know that I’ll be tricky and sprinkle in tactics and practices to effortlessly activate us for our Grander Experience… You are welcome.
How to Set a Vision for the New Quarter Century
Ok, so we don’t have to overcomplicate it, philosophize too much, or make it scary to go for a Grander Experience in our life…
If you find that you are thinking things like: My life is perfectly fine as is. Or, I have no idea of what I want and don’t even know where to start, even thinking about this is too overwhelming. Or, Going for Grander is too much, I don’t have it in me to work harder for more. Or, I’m barely surviving and managing my life and my relationship, never mind this grand idea. Or, some version of these. Then, your mindset needs a little decluttering so you don’t hold yourself back from what is possible for you, your relationship and your life…
Let’s start there and then go for it!
Declutter Your Mindset for Transformation
What got us here won’t get us there… If you are looking to uplevel your relationship and your life, you need to uplevel your approach to them…
These things will no longer cut it: Focusing on what doesn’t work or how unhappy we might be, victimizing ourselves, not believing in ourselves or our worthiness birthright, lacking a vision and goals, stretching ourselves thin and rejecting support or blessings, taking life too seriously and getting stuck in the weeds, lacking strategy and systems, lacking focus, prioritization, and periodization, neglecting ourselves, not cultivating joy, not investing in deepening connections, blaming our partner…
These are a Lower-Self way of operating… They keep us in the grind, in disappointment and pain, symptoms or breakdowns riddled, in repeating dissatisfying patterns, and just experiencing a mediocre relationship and life at best…
Once you feel realigned with a Higher Perspective… and are committed to embracing and practicing a different approach, you can dive into what kind of relationship and life you want to create, experience, live…
This is where you explore your dreams, your heart’s desires. Where you create a relationship and life vision. Where you identify your goals and design a way of life and work to help you achieve them. Where you go for the epic s*t you want to experience and live in this lifetime. Where you fulfill your Prime Directive, your Soul’s Directive, of what it wants to experience and how it wants to expand…
THIS IS WHERE – You explore what is the Highest Potential you can imagine for every area of your life. For if you can see it, envision it, it means that you can achieve it… Your brain and mind can’t fathom the unfathomable. Get creative, go all out, dream big, go for the BHAG (big hairy audacious goal), think about what would make your life superhuman, super extraordinary, and what this means about the person you need to become – how you stretch into the best version of you… You 5.0! Commit to getting on the path for a Journey to that magnificent destination. For if you even achieve 10% of that massive vision, you’ve done better for yourself than if you hadn’t gone for any vision at all…
Here is a list of the life areas to ponder and play with, but you can tweak this list to better fit your circumstance:
Health, fitness, mental health, spirituality
Personal development, personal growth, character strengths
Romantic relationship / partnership
Parenting, family
Social, friendships, communities, networks
Work, career, profession, business
Financial health, income streams, assets, wealth, financial freedom
After we get out of our own way with how we experience and create our life, envision what is possible and commit to having a Grander Experience, then we are ready to create, manifest, what we desire… We can go for a Supreme Reality!
What does this mean? It means we commit to creating our life by design and invest in living the design…
THIS MEANS – We identify the micro processes and choices we need to put in place and make on a consistent basis for the cumulative result of creating what we want. We moderate the grind- we still drill and focus and prioritize and choose intentionally how to live all our moments. But we do not hustle, overdo it, drive ourselves into the groundor neglect what is important in the Journey. We invest in systems and support for a softer approach and a worthy Journey… We cultivate Joy…
So, we make an investment in the top 3 life areas that need the most attention for a leveraged upleveling of our relationship and our life. These are usually: Health, Relationship/s, and Prosperity for people. What are yours? Take an immediate action to start moving the needle forward in them… Implement a new habit, tactic, practice, or have the conversation, set the boundary, make the call, set up the appointment, book the thing, and so on…
THIS ALSO MEANS – Getting on the same page with your partner… Discussing values, dreams, goals, priorities, tactics, habits to design your shared life and how to integrate those elements to create the relationship and life you both love!
>> Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
And, my Lovelies, is how we start this New Year on the right foot on the right path for a magnificent Journey this New Quarter Century! What will your relationship and your life look like in 25 years if you made a dent in your Vision this year…? Good stuff, right?
Let’s commit to staying the course. Get whatever support you need to help you along- let’s do this!
With Much Love & Light!
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Download our Core Values Guideto align your vision today! Make your relationship resolutions, goals and dreams come true and create a shared life you love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
When people think of being in relationship or marriage, they don’t usually think of creating freedom. Quite the opposite is true, as with commitment usually comes exclusivity and responsibility which most would probably not equate as definitions of freedom…
The thing is that most don’t go about their relationship properly and that’s why they experience it as limiting, confining, and restrictive… I want to offer you that the opposite can actually be true. That you can create Freedom with your relationship…
As we embrace a gentler approach to life this month with our Monthly Theme to Bask, I invite you to take a similar approach to how you view your partner and your relationship. Let’s upgrade your Relationship Mindset to one that is freeing, refreshing, and empowering…
Just remember that we are as free as we allow ourselves to be… I usually love to refer to the book A Man’s Search for Meaning, by Perter Frankl, when I talk about this concept. We can be in a concentration camp and still be free…
Let’s play at embracing our freedom to be ourselves more, to create our successful relationship, to create our best life, and to enjoy all the little blessings… And, let’s go about it with ease…
Embrace your freedom to go with ease, to be gentle, and to chill…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2023 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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