It’s funny how we start a relationship because of attraction and interest in each other, only to have that dwindle or get lost in the everyday grind as we progress to a higher level of commitment and create a shared life together. As we move from romantic partners to life partners, there’s often a struggle because this isn’t an ideal state for couples. They need to be partners in love first.
Couples need to be lovers. But when they focus too much on the business of life, they dampen that part of the relationship. The result? They struggle not only with feeling connected but also with being good life partners.
And what’s interesting is that many couples tolerate the loss of romance but fight hard to make the partnership side work. This is where they hit friction, sometimes so intense and conflictual that the relationship completely breaks down.
It’s challenging to address this when partners are already feeling disconnected and stuck in a negative place. That’s why our Successful Relationship Strategy™ focuses on shifting mindset and resetting how partners approach each other and the relationship first.
Then, we work on communication and alignment, removing bad habits and unhealthy interaction patterns that weaken the bond. This helps partners get on the same page more easily so they can go deeper in creating the relationship and life they want.
Finally, we address emotional patterns that drive the dynamic and focus on rebuilding connection and intimacy.
When couples go about creating their shared life from a strong mindset—aligned, resourced, and connected—it becomes much easier to collaborate.
These elements flow best in this order, but they’re not mutually exclusive. They can be worked on simultaneously and continue to evolve as the couple grows.
That said, even with a strong romantic connection, couples may still struggle with how to be great partners in life…
Great Partners in Life
Being great partners in life means we properly position our partner and our relationship for their due importance in our life… This is a requirement for creating the strongest partnership. We have to embrace a higher perspective for proper life Journey…
Mindset Shift 1: Our Partner with a Capital P.
Our partner is our Partner, THE partner of all partners… They are the one we chose to have our Journey, our grand human experience, and create our extraordinary life with. If that is not a significant role in our life, I don’t know what is…
The problem is that partners lose sight of this mega role and treat their partner worse than they treat strangers sometimes… Isn’t that nuts?
The key is to reset how we look at our partner, their priority in our life, and treat them with the due reverence their role warrants. As well as bring back the couplehood aspect, the romantical aspect, to keep the energy alive… This is the relationship juice, the creative energy that fuels everything.
It is very easy to get too busy and forget to even acknowledge our partner and their importance. And to neglect our relationship…
SHIFT- Create a cadence for couple time and protect it with your life.
Mindset Shift 2: Our Partner is Our Ally
Being true partners means being allies. But too often, couples get stuck in power struggles, unconsciously trying to get their needs met. They lose sight of the fact that they’re on the same side. Instead, they treat each other like enemies, with suspicion, mistrust, control, manipulation, and other nasty tactics.
This only creates a downward spiral of disconnection and dissatisfaction.
These patterns can get so entrenched and pervasive that the partners dig their heals in until things break.
SHIFT- Reframe your partner as your ally and address a stuck issue with this perspective.
Mindset Shift 3: The Relationship is the Mechanism for Transformation and Mastery
Something that gets overlooked is that our relationship is our playground. A space where we get to explore, practice, discover, and master our skills, strengths, and selves.
In our relating there is so much potential for our expansion and for creation…
SHIFT- Identify one personal growth area and explore it with your partner until it’s mastered.
Your Attraction is Your Glue
Our initial attraction happens at an unconscious and subconscious level. So if you have a checklist you are measuring your partner against, you’d do well to just chuck it.
The truth is, we were attracted to each other for a reason. Our programming brought us together as part of a grander design- to create the human experience we desire. Cracking those codes is part of the Game of Life.
The key is in increasing our awareness of what’s playing out and be intentional in how we interact so we can uplevel our cocreation…
Appreciate Complementary Aspects and Uniqueness
Opposites attract for a reason. Our partner has complementary characteristics and strengths to our own, and their own special flavor. At first, we find these differences incredible. But later, we start holding them against each other. How ridiculous is that? Instead of resisting them, we could be capitalizing on their awesomeness.
APPLICATION- Identify one of your partner’s complementary strengths, acknowledge it, and discuss how you can leverage it together.\
Appreciate Play on Sensitivities
Another part of the attraction, is that our partner has the uncanny ability to trigger our old wounds (because of the unconscious match), and vice versa.
But this is gold, it offers the perfect opportunity for healing and growing…
APPLICATION- Select one of your sensitivities, share with your partner what’s underneath it, and discuss what would help soothe it.
Playing the Game of Life
Too often, we put our heads down and grind through life. Before we know it, we’ve spent years with blinders on, not truly creating the life we want.
We get stuck in routines, neglect joy, and sometimes leave a trail of collateral damage- our health, our relationships, our family, our creativity, and our impact.
How do we play the game of life? We play to win…
And to win, we need to know how to play the game and what winning looks like.
We can all have different definitions of winning, the key is for us to know what those are for ourselves and for our partner and to get on the same page about them for an aligned approach, and fulfilling, meaningful, harmonies and joyful journey.
EXPLORE THESE TOGETHER:
~ What kind of love do we want to experience?
~ What kind of relationship do we want to create?
~ What kind of life do we want to build?
~ What kind of experiences, impact, creations do we want to pursue?
If you are not asking these questions, you’re just going through the motions… These help you better align with your partner, for an easier and more joyful Journey…
Intentionally Design and Live Your Life
If we don’t know what we’re creating, we create by default. Our programming has a field day creating a reactive and painful life. Our defenses have a relationship with our partner’s defenses creating a relationship riddled with friction, codependence, and misalignment. We don’t get very far with this approach.
But if we:
~ Reset our relationship mindset
~ Invest in prioritizing ourselves and our relationship
~ Strengthen our connection and meet our needs
~ Tap into our synergy- our relationship juice
~ Align on a life vision
Then, bam! We create the life we deeply desire… When these things are in place, everything flows. Without them life is uphill battle.
The Practical in the Collaboration
The soft side of relationships, the mindset, connection, and synergy, drives success. But let’s be real, the practical side matters too! A strong partnership needs systems and habits that support it.
Here are some key collaboration tactics to keep things running smoothly (check out the podcast time stamps for more in-depth description of these):
Shared Calendar – Keep track of shared responsibilities, appointments, events, and reminders in a calendar you both have access to.
PRO TIP: Bonus points for using collaborative tools or apps to manage the business of life efficiently.
Weekly Sync-Up – Every Sunday, check in about the upcoming week. Get on the same page about schedules, responsibilities, and anything that needs attention.
Division of Labor– Divide and conquer, don’t let one person carry the entire mental load. Use a shared responsibilities list to divide tasks fairly.
*Get our FREE Downloadable to master your division of labor
Staying Current – Keep communication open with regular check-ins:
~ Morning coffee chats
~ End-of-day debriefs
~ Visioning sessions
~ Planning meetings
~ Financial reviews
Outsourcing – If a task doesn’t require your unique skills and you can afford to outsource it, do it! Life is too short to spend time on the mundane.
Transitions – Most arguments happen during transition times- coming home, shifting tasks, starting or ending the day. Be extra mindful and intentional during these moments.
Weekend Planning – Avoid last-minute stress and mismatched expectations by discussing weekend plans before Friday hits.
Morning Routines – Start your morning routine the night before. Reduce morning chaos by prepping in advance. A smoother start sets the tone for the day.
Vacationing – Identify the expectations, the flavor and what would make it successful as you plan it…
Being Proactive – If the same arguments keep coming up, fix the root issue. Identify patterns, address them directly, and put a lasting solution in place.
This can feel like a lot to address at the same time, I know. But you don’t have to overhaul everything overnight.
Just pick one of these strategies that resonated with you and take action on it today. Even the smallest investment can make a big difference. Intentionality is key. As you make these shifts, you’ll notice everything starts changing…
Hope this information serves you and helps you get on the path to your Successful Relationship and Meaningful Life.
Realign for More Love in Your Relationship, Learn How to Date Your Partner Often when couples struggle in their relationship, or when they feel they are in a bit of a slump, it has to do with Relationship Neglect… When life gets hectic with demands and we barely have time to sleep, the further thing from our mind is being cute in our relationship. Because we are so used to a life of grind, this state of affairs is common. Where the relationship and our bond take a major blow. The relationship can sustain challenging times, but ongoing neglect takes its toll. There are specific factors that play a role during these difficult times, that can at times be pervasive in the relationship making matters worse. Shifting these is key to getting out of the slump along with intentionally and effortlessly investing in the relationship.
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW!
Resources
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership– Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast? Contact us about a possible collaboration!
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
What is Love? Love is many things, and we can all define it differently. And, we can all give it and receive it differently… It is common in couples for the partners to feel that they give more love than their partner does. It’s interesting when both partners in the relationship feel this way. The reason for this is that they are giving love the way they themselves like to receive love, not necessarily in the way that their partner likes to receive it. This leaves the partners giving love that the other doesn’t even register…
What a conundrum, right? The partners give the love, and the other doesn’t feel it.
They are both investing in their relationship with no impact. They get frustrated at giving the love that seemingly it not being reciprocated. The partners struggle to understand what’s happening, feeling resentful at not being loved enough…
When this continues, with the partners none the wiser that they are both investing just not in the required way, the resentment starts manifesting in poor interactions. Which are riddled with cynicism, criticism, control, defensiveness, passive aggressiveness, defiance, power struggles, and other pesky ways.
This can all be easily shifted when the partners give their love in the way the other likes to receive it!
This idea was developed by Dr. Gary Chapman and presented in his popular book, The 5 Love Languages. He shares the 5 love languages commonly desired by partners and how to give love in those languages. Now we all like to receive love in all the 5 languages, but usually we have 2 top ones we prefer.
I teach clients to focus on giving their partner love in their top two languages, so they no longer spin their wheels giving love how they like to receive it and it being lost on their partner. This shift in how they give love makes a great impact as the partners start to immediately feel more loved. An investment well worth what it requires to shift their approach.
Dr. Chapman also presents pitfalls to avoid according to each love language. It’s interesting that partners have the hardest time giving the love in the way that their partner desires it, and do exactly the things that hurts the other the most… This is all part of our relationship dynamics and our patterns.
The way we struggle giving the right love for our partner and avoiding the related pitfalls is all part of how we are to continue to evolve… This is yet another way in how we are a perfect match for each other…
Here are the 5 Love Languages and Their Pitfalls
Learning our Love Languages is key in ensuring we are showing each other love in the way that touches are heart the most and avoid the common pitfalls that hurt our partner.
1~ Words of Affirmation
Partners with this love language feel most loved through verbal expressions of affection, praise, and encouragement. This also includes compliments, appreciation, acknowledgment, credit, and validation.
These Have this Flavor: ~ Saying, “I love you,” frequently. ~ Giving genuine compliments like, “You’re amazing at what you do.” ~ Leaving a heartfelt note or sending a thoughtful text message.
Pitfalls to Avoid: ~ Insincere or forced compliments can feel empty. ~ Negative or critical words can be especially hurtful to someone who values affirmation. ~ Assuming your partner “already knows” you appreciate them without saying it.
2~ Acts of Service
Love is expressed through helpful actions rather than words. Doing things that make life easier for the partner is the key to their heart. These partners really appreciate practical and hands on support. Help with their to-do list or getting things done.
These Have this Flavor: ~ Cooking a meal for them when they’ve had a long day. ~ Taking care of household chores without being asked. ~ Running an errand they’ve been putting off.
Pitfalls to Avoid: ~ Doing things out of obligation rather than genuine love. ~ Assuming your acts of service are meaningful to your partner without asking. ~ Expecting praise in return, or having strings attached, rather than giving selflessly.
3~ Quality Time
Undivided attention and meaningful experiences are the primary ways these partners feel loved. This is where the attunement, presence, and protected couple and intimate time come into play.
These Have this Flavor: ~ Planning a date night with special touches. ~ Engaging in deep conversations without distractions. ~ Taking a weekend trip together to reconnect.
Pitfalls to Avoid: ~ Being physically present but mentally absent (e.g., scrolling on your phone). ~ Assuming quantity of time matters more than quality. ~ Failing to plan meaningful activities together.
4~ Physical Touch
Physical affection is the primary way these partners feel connected and loved. This doesn’t always mean physical intimacy or sexy time. It can be as simple as touch. These can look like caressing, petting, patting, grazing, kissing, and the like…
These have this flavor: ~ Holding hands while walking together. ~ Giving hugs, back rubs, or gentle touches throughout the day. ~ Cuddling on the couch while watching a movie.
Pitfalls to Avoid: ~ Assuming all physical touch is romantical- non-intimate affection is important too. ~ Withholding touch as punishment. ~ Forgetting that small, spontaneous gestures of touch can mean a lot.
5~ Receiving Gifts
For some, tangible symbols of love carry deep emotional significance. It’s not about materialism but about the thoughtfulness behind the gift. Though some partners have higher expectations on the kinds of gifts.
These have this flavor: ~ Bringing home their favorite snack just because. ~ Giving a meaningful birthday or anniversary present. ~ Surprising them with a small, sentimental token that reminds you of them.
Pitfalls to Avoid: ~ Thinking it’s about money rather than meaning. ~ Forgetting special occasions or failing to put thought into gifts. ~ Assuming a generic or last-minute gift will have the same impact as something personal.
Understanding and speaking our partner’s Love Language, and knowing and communicating our own, can be truly transformative in our relationship.
Identifying and prioritizing our love languages can help prevent unnecessary conflicts, and deepen our connection. If you don’t already know yours, check out Dr. Chapman’squiz!Here.
This is a fun exercise to share with your partner to realign, add more dimension to your relating, and just for kicks. Why not?
If you notice resistance in giving your partner love in their Love Language, take some time to explore what’s behind that for you and how you need to stretch for your own growth…
Often when couples struggle in their relationship, or when they feel they are in a bit of a slump, it has to do with Relationship Neglect… When life gets hectic with demands and we barely have time to sleep, the further thing from our mind is being cute in our relationship. Because we are so used to a life of grind, this state of affairs is common. Where the relationship and our bond take a major blow.
The relationship can sustain challenging times, but ongoing neglect takes its toll. There are specific factors that play a role during these difficult times, that can at times be pervasive in the relationship making matters worse. Shifting these is key to getting out of the slump along with intentionally and effortlessly investing in the relationship.
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Here are our current memberships that give you access:
Radiance Membership – Subscription of transformational content and much more! (at only $29 per month) Get Enrolled Now Success Membership – Subscription of therapy sessions, it includes the Radiance Membership! Get Started with an Initial Session
RESOURCES
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
PPS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
It is not uncommon for couples to feel they are in a slump. Specially during the cold winter months when we tend to hibernate, have the winter blues, or just totally feel out of sorts. Relationships can lose their spark. But when this feeling lingers beyond seasonal blues, it can erode intimacy, connection, and the overall bond between partners.
What’s tricky is that many couples don’t even recognize they’re in a slump. They assume this is just what happens in long-term relationships. They settle into routine, accepting an “okay” relationship instead of striving for something deeper, richer, and more fulfilling.
The partners that struggle are the ones dear to my heart, because they feel the possibility for more and they are rebelling against being mediocre. I say, Good on you. Your struggle is just a way of shaking things up. To have both partners’ attention making changes for the radiant and successful relationship and epic love you desire…
Being in a slump or experiencing relationship struggle is an unpleasant, challenging, and disconcerting experience to say the least. The disconnect, loneliness, emptiness, conflict, frustration, resentment, hopelessness, can totally take a toll on the couple as well as the partners themselves… These partners are a loss for how to regain their connection, feel their love, and create alignment and aliveness in their relationship.
I truly commend the couples that have the courage to admit they are struggling and invest in transforming and upleveling their relationship. My hat off to you!
6 Signs of a Relationship Slump
Partners can experience their struggle or averageness in a variety of ways. The more of these ways they experience, the more difficult and painful their situation. But regardless of how severe their experience is, they can turn their relationship around by investing in it…
Here are 6 signs that your love life needs a reboot:
1~ The relationship doesn’t make it to the priority list – It’s interesting how often partners complain of feeling disconnected, but they don’t make any time to spend with each other. Or, they might have some time together, or even a lot, but it lacks depth and meaning. Being in the same room doesn’t constitute as quality couple time… And this goes beyond making time for each other. There is also little courtesy, kindness, tenderness, nurturing, attentiveness, mindfulness…
2~ The connection is dampened, the bond is frayed – Aside from not spending quality time together, the partners might do things that cut at their bond. Crossing boundaries and being neglectful, mean, inconsiderate, absent, controlling, manipulative and so on, are all tactics that make the partners put up defenses and keep their heart locked away.
3~ The romance got lost in translation – Partners allow the busyness of life to pull them away from what is actually the most important asset in their life… Their Partner in their Journey… And this is not merely a partner to create a life together – which couples also get wrong by the way. But a partner in Love… This part of the relationship is at the crux of our human experience… This is how we create the energy and flavor of our life, our shared life… And the romance is what activates the romantic feelings! This is where the essence of the partners get invited to play… Now this doesn’t have to be T.V. style romance. We can have a real life, down to earth approach that is more realistic and powerful.
4~ The attraction fizzled – The attraction doesn’t just fizzle. It fizzles because it is as if it was smothered by a damp cloth of insults, injuries, betrayals, let downs, neglect, rejection… When we are constantly in doing mode, like ships passing in the night, totally exhausted, not resourced, and at the mercy of our and our partner’s poor mood states, we are in the crossfires for survival. Then never mind being radiant and full of life that creates attraction… Add to that both partners usually being in their masculine energy, a formula for a dead sex life.
5~ The lovers are MIA – Then it makes sense that the lovers are MIA. There is no juice, no attraction to speak of, a lack of exhausted energy, no polarized energy between the genders, and a pervasive conscious or unconscious feeling of resentment and contempt. A lack of trust. No emotional safety. How are the partners to really let go to be present as real lovers?
6~ The intimacy is mechanical or superficial, or nonexistent – So then obviously the intimacy suffers. There is very little of it and the little that’s there is not what it could be… Partners are not on the same page about what intimacy they prefer, they might not even be in touch with what they prefer. And additionally, they struggle creating the space for any intimacy. Everything else gets in the way…
Now, couples can have some or all of these, and to varying degrees. No one couple is the same. And they each bring their unique set of circumstances to their story and situation along with their own uniqueness, needs and desires. So, don’t compare yourself with your friends. Each couple is special. Yes, there are similar patterns that are inherent to couples, relationships, and the human condition. But let the comparison stop there.
11 Power Moves to Transform Your Relationship
It doesn’t have to be difficult, complex, or intimidating investing in our relationship so we can turn it around, or to take it to the next level. It can actually be quite simple…
There might be mental health issues, unique patterns, and level of development the partners bring to the table that might require additional attention, nonetheless the basics are the same.
Bring your Best Self to your interactions to the best of your ability.
If this in and of itself is challenging, then professional support might be indicated for you. You know you need assistance if you or your partner have a difficult time doing the things recommended below. Or you try these but feel that a stronger dose of relationship know-how medicine is needed… We are here for you if you need support!
Now, on to the things to bring to your interactions to get out of the slump or to uplevel your relationship
Flirtation
Playfulness
Curiosity
Interest
Attunement
Adoration
Devotion
Affection
Connection
Intimacy
Passion
Check out the podcast episode below for a description of these!
You might be struggling in your relationship, your relationship might in a slump, or you are looking to just take things to the next level. Regardless of your relationship status, the key is to bring commitment to making it work and to creating what you desire, to bring our Best Self to it, and to invest in it to keep it fresh and vibrant.
Embrace the power moves mentioned above, cultivate rich states around them to activate good relationship vibes, and shower your partner and your relationship with that TLC.
~ Play – Experiment with the moves and characteristics to keep things activating and elevating
~ Practice – Cultivate the states around each power move to make them accessible as you go
~ Pledge – Honor your commitment to your partner and the relationship, be all in to crack the codes
Realign for More Love in Your Relationship, Learn How to Date Your Partner Often when couples struggle in their relationship, or when they feel they are in a bit of a slump, it has to do with Relationship Neglect… When life gets hectic with demands and we barely have time to sleep, the further thing from our mind is being cute in our relationship. Because we are so used to a life of grind, this state of affairs is common. Where the relationship and our bond take a major blow. The relationship can sustain challenging times, but ongoing neglect takes its toll. There are specific factors that play a role during these difficult times, that can at times be pervasive in the relationship making matters worse. Shifting these is key to getting out of the slump along with intentionally and effortlessly investing in the relationship.
Don’t have a Membership with us yet? Access it and much more through our Radiance Membership! (Only $29 per month) Get Enrolled NOW!
Resources
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
We can help with our select memberships: Radiance Membership– Transformational content and experiences subscription (Only $29 per month!) Success Membership – Private sessions and Radiance Membership access! (Start with an Initial Session)
~~ Interested in being our Guest? Interested in having Emma be a Guest in your Podcast? Contact us about a possible collaboration!
DISCLAIMER: This content is meant to support your Journey and not as a replacement for professional assistance. Additionally, the ideas and resources provides by our guests are their ideas and recommendations alone and not necessarily a reflection of mine
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Call me weird, call me naïve, call me a hopeless romantic, but I choose to believe there is more love in the air and in the world than we sometimes see… I know this might be an unpopular opinion given the state of the world, but our reality is what we make of it. While plenty may challenge this belief, our reality is shaped our own state of mind…
Have you ever seen the movie It’s a Beautiful Life? It’s about a father in a concentration camp who shields their young son from the horrors of their situation by turning it into a game. Because of his father’s unwavering perspective, the boy never experiences the trauma of their conditions in the same way. Watch the trailer here
This story reminds us of something profound:
We are super powerful creators…
What we think and what we believe, we manifest…
What we focus on, grows…
Why not put this superpower to work, as we can create whatever we desire.
For me, that means focusing on love- helping couples create their radiant and successful relationship and rekindling their love. Actually, not just rekindle it but create something new, a New Love…
What is this New Love?
For starters, the concept of New Love is about transcending our limitations to be as loving as we can be…
~ Letting go of the pettiness of our lower self
~ Releasing attachments to perceived limitations
~ Having grace for our own and other’s shortcomings
~ Being generous with- kindness, openness, flexibility, understanding, acknowledgement, acceptance, forgiveness, empathy, compassion, attention, affection, nurturing, support, cooperation, collaboration (Correlating to the 5 Elements of the Successful Relationship Strategy™)
~ Investing in win-win outcomes and elevating love as a collective experience
This Higher Perspective elevates us for a Grander Experience…
When we filter life through pettiness, we act petty
When we filter life through generosity, we act generously
When we filter life through love, we act lovingly
We can identify what we want to create and experience, and have it grow by simply focusing on and cultivating its related virtue, quality, feeling or state.
What this mean for our relationship
Here is the beautiful part: Aside from just feeling amazing and having a fabulous personal experience, you’ll notice your partner starts to shift along…
We can’t possibly operate from this Higher Perspective and not have it rub off on others, especially the ones closest to us, like our partner.
But a word of caution: Our approach has to be authentic and heart-felt. Not just lip service, hedging, conditions, or strings attached. Which are lower-self’s rules of engagement… With limiting underlying programming still running the show… This is the larger part of us and wins every time. So if there is a discrepancy between how we are showing up or our desire and what our programming dictates, the programming will impact the outcome no matter how hard we try…
Your partner and others will always respond to the underlying patterns, regardless of the words and actions. That’s why so many people say, “I tried everything, and nothing worked.”
We want to bring consciousness to our patterns allowing for a sustainable Higher Perspective. For there we can fill the space left behind by the dissolved patterns with the good stuff…
Now is the time to embrace this New Love.
Give it shot: Address your patterns and replace prior sabotaging habits with ones that nourish you, nurture your relationship, and delight your partner…
~~ Watch our related videos on our YouTube channel
~~ Download our Date Your Partner Protocolto learn how to better date your partner for more fun, connection and love!
PS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Aside from financial strain, many couples start considering divorce when find themselves frequently in conflict or no longer feeling the relationship…
At its core, these issues often stem from undermining relationship patterns or a lack of connection… And can easily be addressed by enriching the relationship and deepening the connection between the partners…
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce.
That said, I understand how the idea of investing in the relationship and deepening connection might want to make you throw up in your mouth if you are currently at odds or feeling completely estranged. I get it, especially if:
~ Conversations derail no matter how hard you try to get on the same page
~ You feel you are the one doing all the work- apologizing, planning, and trying to make things better
~ The idea of being available, open, or vulnerable feels overwhelming or even terrifying
~ Making the first move toward connection or intimacy feels awkward and unnatural
~ You worry that your partner might not understand or appreciate your efforts, or worse- might reject them outright
~ The things you’ve tried so far haven’t gained any traction or given the results you hoped for
~ Even if there is improvement, it often feels short-lived with the relationship slipping back into old patterns
These feelings are valid, and they are part of the challenge.
The truth is, if there is little effort to mindfully addressing issues, vulnerably sharing needs and preferences, and proactively investing in nurturing our relationship giving love and caring, the relationship has very little chance of surviving, never mind thriving…
These are antidotes to frequent conflicts and estrangement in our relationship… When we feel connected, we can have more understanding, give grace more readily, and find it easier to align, problem-solve, collaborate, and play together…
WHEN FREQUENT CONFLICTS IS THE CULPRIT
It is certainly not easy to be in a relationship that is riddled with tension and conflict. When conversations feel flat, superficial, or forced and the slightest truth can turn into a disagreement. When any behavior, decision, or comment has the potential to trigger a and argument that quickly escalate into a full-blown fight. When concerns or dislikes are left unspoken simply to avoid another argument.
This dynamic arises from the partners’ limiting belief systems, relationship mindset, communication styles, and defensive patterns. Creating habits and patterns that hinder the ability to show up compassionately, vulnerably, and authentically for one another.
~ Being Fully Committed – Closing any gaps or leaks and being intentionally building a successful relationship with a shared vision for a life together.
~ Taking Full Accountability – Owning your role in the current dynamic and making the necessary changes to foster different, more positive outcomes.
~ Proactively Addressing Challenges – Tackling what’s not working with compassion, kindness, and patience, while investing in nurturing and strengthening the relationship.
Making a commitment to making the relationship work, is in itself a powerful step toward making the relationship work…
WHEN ESTRANGEMENT IS THE CULPRIT
And it’s certainly not easy to be in a relationship that feels cold, distant, and transactional… Where the partners function more like roommates, prioritize their children over the relationship, or simply lead parallel lives. Where they might have challenges finding things in common or having fun together. Where they have let their physical intimacy fall by the wayside…
It is actually painful to live in a barren household or have a distant relationship. As humans, we have an innate need for connection, it’s hardwired into us as a fundamental part of our being. When we don’t meet this need, and especially if we have abandonment wounds, the pain can be excruciating. This pain invites our ugliest defense mechanisms as we try to cope with the distress…
Unfortunately, these defense mechanisms perpetuate the destructive power struggle cycle, the dissatisfying patterns, that couples experience when they haven’t invested in personal development and relationship enrichment.
The solution lies in creating, maintaining, and deepening their connection to create emotional safety that allows them to take the relationship and their intimacy to the next level:
~ Creating Connection – Gently reaching out for interest in connecting and nurturing the relationship. Showing interest in our partner with curiosity about their thoughts, feelings, experiences and desires.
~ Maintaining Connection – Implementing Connection Habits™ to protect the bond, cultivate a sense of closeness, and easily re-engage and reconnect even during challenging times.
~ Deepening Connection – Elevating interactions by engaging in more intimate, vulnerable, and authentic conversations that explore values, personal truths, emotions, and even existential topics for a richer and more profound connection.
Showing genuine interest in our partner can make a world of difference. When they feel truly valued, appreciated, understood, and desired the foundation of the relationship strengthens and the relationship starts to flourish.
Being intentional about our relationship is a proven way to safeguard it against cheating and divorce. By addressing and transforming defense mechanisms, programs, and patterns that drive our interactions, and by actively investing in connecting with our partner, we pave the way the way for creating the relationship we desire.
It is up to us to prevent the demise of our relationship by showing up with the best of intentions and with our Best Self. Only then can our relationship become the relationship we both love.
Happy showing up…
With Much Love & Light!
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Copyright (c) 2025 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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