How we do our days is how we ultimately do our life… Our life is but a collection of days… We can decide now what kind of life we want to have lived at the end of the day… When on our deathbed, what kind of highlight reel would we have to showcase?
What kind of life do we want to have to show for our time on earth? What regrets do we want to make sure we don’t have? How will we have immortalized ourselves, how would we live-on in the hearts and minds of others? What would our footprint have been, what kind of impact did we make?
This line of thinking can be really scary or extremely inspiring… It can be scary if you are not happy with the current state of affairs in your life. It can be scary if you feel powerless, stuck and at the mercy of others. It can be scary if you think you are not smart enough, gifted enough, creative enough and the like. It can be scary if you are not fully owning your life and your Self…
It can be extremely inspiring if you are taking charge of your life. If you are building your courage muscle. If you are investing in healing, growing, and evolving. If you are protecting your energy, time, and focus. If you are committed to living a long and healthy life. If you are intentionally designing your days. If you are developing personal discipline and are embracing Habit Building as an approach to life success…
A successful life is made up of the accumulation of your Owned days… Own your day, own your life, succeed at your life…
How do you own your day? Start your day early and “warrior proof it”. According to Robin Sharma, Author of The 5 am Club, it’s imperative to take time first thing in the morning to set oneself up for an amazing day by proofing it against the noise of life.
He encourages building a great mindset, healthset, heartset and soulset during this time… This can be done via a simple exercise, journaling, meditation and learning routine.
How do you own your day? By increasing connection, wellness, and success habits into your routine with Habit Stacking (associate a new habit to an existing one) – reducing the need for decision making, willpower and self-discipline… By chunking your time for most creativity and productivity.
By protecting your Focus Time. By planning your meals. By building-in transition and reenergizing times. By implementing self-care practices. By minding being intentional, present and attentive.
If you’ve been living by flying by the seat of your pants, this might feel really daunting. Don’t worry, start small. Any action towards owning your day and improving your life will start the juices flowing empowering, motivating and inspiring you to do more. Not to mention, that you’d already be feeling amazing for having done something different towards taking charge of your life.
If you’ve been investing in yourself all along this will not feel as daunting and will instead spark additional motivation and inspiration. Soak that in and go for it!
Taking this a step further, you can apply these concepts to the Successful Couple Strategy™… You can apply this level of ownership, design and intentionality to the 5 Elements, for example:
Communication & Alignment – Have daily Appreciation Talk Time™ (tell your partner what you appreciated about them or what they did that day)
Clarity & Dynamics – Do consistent nurturing Healing behaviors for your partner (target their ongoing requests)
Connection & Intimacy – Implement the monthly Dating Protocol (take turns planning awesomeness for each other)
Collaboration & Partnership – Hold Sunday Synchronization Meetings™ (get current and plan the upcoming week)
So, you see, if you are interested in having a world class life, you can! You can have a meaningful life and successful relationship. The key is to owning your self, your day, your life!
Assignment: Take stock of where you feel stuck – Make lists of all the annoyances around you, energy and time suckers, distractions, incomplete projects, areas of improvement, resentments you are holding, unmet needs, unfinished business, forgotten dreams and anything else you believe might be holding you back…
Grab everything that gets in the way of owning your day. Pick a list to focus on, pick an item to address from it. Decide how you’ll do it, make a plan to tackle it, carry out your plan… Change only happens when you take action… Make a commitment to tackle the rest with the same approach… Get the support you need to help you do it faster, do it better, and stay the course…
You want a great life? Create a great life… You can do it!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Owning!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We are at after the initial hustle and bustle of getting to back2school/business, and the accompanying anxiety, stress and overwhelm. We are at a time where the new routine starts to feel like second nature and can get into the groove. Where the energy of the season is inspiring, and productivity comes with ease… Where we can more heartily play with our Autumn Bucket List! Here is one to inspire yours.
And, here are 10 Autumn Couple Date Ideas to consider:
As I’ve been talking about Habit building as a tactic for creating your Meaningful Life and Successful Relationship(s), I want to clarify that not all habits are for being more productive and achieving goals… I’ve written before about Intentional Habits™ and Connection Habits™… These are a great set to integrate into our approach to life and relationship(s).
Focusing on how to better nurture our relationship with those important to us is a great investment in living our life to the fullest. This is where we give and receive love. This is where we belong. This is how we show others they are important to us. This is how we make others feel special. This is how we show appreciation. This is where we get replenished. This is where we create meaning. This is where we make the most impact…
In our humanity we are meant to be relational… At the end of our life it’s not the accumulation of material things that’d matter, but the accumulation of lovely memories and positive impact we’ve made…
Implementing Connection Habits™ into our life is a matter of 1) owning this is something important to us in the first place. 2) Then committing to making sure we nature the important relationships in our life. 3) And, finally creating a system for doing so.
It is very easy to lose track of time and forget to check-in and -on our loved ones. It is very easy to get sidetracked and not keep promises, not follow-up, not do anything loving or nurturing, or not invest an iota into build intimacy. It is very easy to be downright neglectful of the ones we love!
So, if creating amazing relationships with those you care about matters to you, commit right now to make a concerted effort to invest in nurturing those relationships. And, envision how it’d feel to be Connected. What it might look like. What the experience would be.
The next step is to create a system to make this seamless. Design a protocol, routine, schedule and such to integrate actions into your lifestyle that would nurture the relationship with your loved one. Incorporate rituals and traditions that speak to all involved. Make these simple, concrete and fitting to your life so they easily become Habits, Connection Habits™…
Assignment: Choose a relationship you’d like to Nurture more. Commit to investing in showering it with more love. Decide on 3 behaviors (Concrete, Doable, Recurring) you’ll implement immediately to step up the nurturing of that relationship. Bring your authentic/higher self to the nurturing and do the behaviors with gusto!
We are meant to be in Connection, without it we actually don’t have Successful lives… Creating meaningful connection doesn’t have to be hard, it just takes desire, commitment and intentionality. It’s not about being constantly surrounded by people… It’s about Connecting with those around us, and especially the ones we care about…
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Connecting!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
What routine tweaks are you implementing for more peaceful and joyful days? What systems are you putting in place to have more ease and flow in your home? What ritual can you integrate to launch the new season with spunk? What habit will you put in place to start the new quarter strong? How will you make this quarter special?
As you probably already know, I’m all about constantly optimizing everything. Am I perfect? Of course not! Do I strive for perfection? I let that go a long time ago… What I do strive for is becoming my Best Self, enhancing my wellness, vitality, performance, creativity, and connection. For Being the best human I can be. To this end, I’m always researching, learning and experimenting with new tools, skills, concepts, and the like.
I’ve been on the improving habits kick for a while now, but I’m taking this interest to the next level. I’m obsessed with biohacking myself, enriching my routines and creating more flow… This means increased longevity, productivity, and impact… This means making a difference. This means having a meaningful and rewarding human experience…
As I’m letting go of Summer and fully turning into Autumn and all its splendor, I’m setting up for my best quarter yet. In all areas of my life. Hey, I practice what I preach! LOL
In playing with my obsessions and to assuage the hunger for more knowledge, I ended up with this current stack:
I follow some of these authors’ work closely and I’m enthralled with the possibilities. As we continue to wake up to our potential, it is unbelievable what we are capable of… We can defy our human limitations as we know them… As we learn more about neuroplasticity, epigenetics, super-longevity, and the like we can have a truly amazing, off the charts, human experience…
I don’t know about you, but I want to make the most and the best of mine… What does this mean for us? For our daily life with ourselves, our loved ones and in all the contexts in our lives? It means we set ourselves up to do life with ease. To get the most out of every moment. That we hack the heck out of everything to go beyond the limits.
How? Make the commitment to have your best life, to collaborate with your partner, to enlist relevant and excellent support, to always be learning, healing and evolving… Make the commitment to own your energy, your time, your days, your choices, your decisions, your actions, your presence, your focus, all of you…
Assignment: Let’s drill in and into the practical… What things, activities, habits will you commit to removing for a better lifestyle? What things, activities, habits will you commit to adding for a better lifestyle? Pick one of each and go to town! Really embrace this to get the results you are seeking, to stay the course on having your best human experience…
Let me tell you something. When I focus on these things, my life is juiced up, joyful and easier… I invite you to join me being high on life!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Obviously, we keep an eye on our overall wellness and progress throughout the year. We make adjustments and course corrections along the way. We recommit to habits and goals as we go. Some might have been forgotten and need a little dusting-off. In all, we stay the course to the best of our ability and keep shooting for the stars.
We keep shooting for the stars by continuing to Become our Best Self…
We have covered upgrading our thinking and our mindset.
We have covered addressing our feelings and our state.
We have covered mastering our behaviors and our habits.
These are addressed from different angles throughout the 5 Elements of our Successful Couple Strategy™ and Successful Self Strategy™:
Collaboration (Element5: Collaboration & Partnership – Become a Team)
Today, I want to take this to the next level. Beyond thinking, feeling and doing… I want us to focus on Being. Don’t you agree NAME, that we get stuck in overthinking, that we let our feelings run the show, and that we are way overcommitted and running around with tons of doing? These are things that I’ve radically addressed in my own life. My agendas used to be insane. They were beyond superhuman… So, when I recognize this in you, I feel for you…
I no longer overcommit myself. I’m MUCH better at not overbooking myself. Certainly, at not overbooking my family and our weekends. Thank goodness I learned this lesson a while ago! I’ve become a lot more productive, with ease… I bring Gusto to everything I do… I always aim to over deliver… And, fully own my nature to Serve…
Why am I sharing this? Because these things don’t happen by accident. They take commitment, intentionally, focus, and discipline. They take shedding our defenses, getting out of our own way, connecting to who we are, clarifying our Personal Brand, embracing and showing up from our Magnificence…
They take practicing and honoring just Being… And, then just Being Our Best Self… This is not easy to do… We get pulled in a gazillion ways if we allow it. And, allow it we do unless we are invested in creating our Best Life, in living our best Journey, in having our best Human Experience.
Taking charge of our life and creating our life by Design requires:
E1 – Setting effective boundaries
E1 – Addressing limiting beliefs and scripts
E1 – Letting go of fears
E1 – Being fully accountable in all we do
E2 – Clearly communicating expectations that honor all parties involved
E2 – Showing up cleanly and resourced to interactions
E2 – Being just, honorable, kind and compassionate when addressing differences
E2 – Making amends after we showed up with our imperfect humanness
E3 – Being intentional about not triggering ourselves and others
E3 – Addressing our defense mechanisms
E3 – Learning better coping, wellness and self-management skills
E3 – Appropriately getting our needs met
E4 – Creating time for connecting with Higher Self, loved ones, the world at large
E4 – Focusing on quality couple time and being fully present
E4 – Showing up with our most Authentic Self
E4 – Enjoying ourselves to the fullest
E5 – Setting up success habits and routines
E5 – Seamlessly collaborating with others
E5 – Being a role model
E5 – Contributing to a higher Cause…
We can do this exceptionally well and with ease when we go at it from our Being… When we are grounded, Transcended, and bring our Best Self, Authentic Self, Highest Self, with our Polished Personal Brand™!, to all we do…
Assignment: So today, I want you to think of (Be with…) who you are. How you will continue to awaken to your full Self. How will you continue to Become more You… How you will connect with and consistently show up with your Best Self… What will all areas of your life look like when you are your full Authentic Self most of the time? Your wellness/health, appearance, personality, home, work, leadership, contribution, Life…?
Sometimes it seems we get mired in the weeds. We miss the forest for the tree. We miss the boat. We miss the point of our Existence… I’m not saying to not give attention to the details of Life, for therein is the Juice… I’m saying let’s look beyond the car in front of us. Let’s keep an eye on the road, the Journey. Let’s pay attention to the ride, let’s Be with the ride…
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Living!
P.S. We are here for you! If you need more support to create a shiftin your life, creating your successful and meaningful life, we are here to help. Schedule a Get Acquainted Call to connect, and discuss how we can help you and how to get started. Look forward to Connecting with you!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Today we’ll cover Collaboration (from Element5: Collaboration & Partnership – Become a Team). I love all the work of course, but I particularly enjoy this topic as this is where all the work seems to come together…
We can’t collaborate and create a strong partnership when we have different expectations and don’t fully own ourselves, when we can’t get on the same page and address differences, when we operate from defenses and keep triggering each other, and when we can’t connect and enjoy each other…
Partners struggle collaborating on the business of life and creating an amazing joint life together when the other Elements are not addressed. They have to white-knuckle things into place and life feels difficult…
Assuming you’ve been working on the other Elements, now you can have fun with this one! Collaboration is about the practical of creating the life you want. Intentionally designing your lifestyle, your approach to life and a way to achieve your dreams – without white-knuckling it!
Things to put in place to help you collaborate and create your joint life include:
Shared Life Vision…
Daily, weekly, monthly, semi-annual and annual routines, rituals and traditions
Agreements for sharing responsibilities
Systems for working together and having flow in your home
Putting things in place that serve the individuals, the relationship and the family as a whole is not an easy feat. Partners have different brains, personalities, ways of operating, skills, knowledge base, preferences and the like. So even if the prior 4 Elements have been addressed, it is still not easy to work well together and set up things to create the best Joint Life.
To achieve the partners’ highest potential and tap into the Relationship’s inherent Synergy… This is the Goal… This is the Best Life… This is the whole point… Working together the sky is the limit…
Assignment: This is it. Invite your Partner to a sit down to assess the current functioning of your relationship, your family and your home. Review how you are doing with the first 4 Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™.
Then, check in on how you collaborate? How do you share responsibility? How do make decisions? How do you get things done? How much are you able to accomplish? Are you making a dent, rocking your goals? How do you create? Are you creating your Vision, your Dream Life? And so on… Armed with this information, decide what are your next steps to go to the next level in your Life… Take an action towards that today!
Woohoo! We did it! We did some basic work in each of the Elements of the Successful Couple Strategy™. Hope you enjoyed the taste and are already experiencing a shift in your relationship! Savor it!
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couple™ content that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly Connection Notes in your inbox with Personal Growth and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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