Do you find that you often butt heads with your partner when dealing with the business of life? Or that you operate as if you are lost at sea without any direction, and you end up wherever the tide takes you? This has to do with not being on the same page, or not having a clear joint life vision and plan. It also has to do with each of your own personal development levels and relationship dynamics. The more pronounced the impasses, powerstruggles, drama, chaos, and lack of forward movement experienced by the partners, the more wounding and developmental delay that might be plaguing the couple…
I have been expressly adding another dimension to our personal growth and healing and relationship dynamics work to better assist couples with their relationship transformation. We’ve been playing with owning more our masculine and feminine characteristics… The interplay in their polarity for our personal wellness and for the success and radiance of our relationship just can’t continue to be ignored (as always, this is regardless of gender).
How the differences between the set of characteristics have been played down can no longer be ignored inside or outside the context of our relationship. Continuing to do so seemingly to create equality among the genders, just continues to reinforce the patriarchy… It does no one any good for the feminine characteristics and energy to continue to be oppressed… For everyone to seem more alike, “equal”, and bonded in our more coveted masculine traits and characteristics…
Just like we polarize in a host of other ways in our relationship validating the opposites attract paradigm, this is another layer that is to be taken more seriously for the vitality and success of our relationship.
For not doing so is a complete disregard for ourselves and the experience with our partner. Disowning major parts of ourselves and lopsiding our relationship energetics makes for unhealthy partners and messy relationship dynamics. And, not conducive for creating our epic love affair with our partner and our best life, our grander human experience…
There are 3 levels of development for each set of characteristics, and both apply to both partners…
~ Dormant – This is when we are not even aware that we have a range of characteristics available to us, and that we might be shut down to part of the range… Or that we are not fully owning our more inherent side of the spectrum of characteristics. We shut down part of ourselves…
~ Distorted – This is when we begin to wake up to other aspects of ourselves, but we are wobbly in their use. This is when we show up with our toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. This is when we act out especially with our more inherent energy or in its defense…
~ Divine – This is when we start to master the balance, integration, and polarization interplay of our characteristics, intentionally drawing from all the benefits of our wholeness… This is when we tap into the sacredness of each of our energies, when we use our energies to their full potential and glory. This is when we tap into ourrelationship inherent synergy. When we intentionally polarize with our partner to create our spark, passion, and bliss… This is how we create our sacred union, rejoice in oneness…
There is much to be said for owning all of ourselves, all of our tendencies, quirks, aspects, traits, characteristics, energies, and the like. Regardless of what we label things, there is something to be said for fully owning and honoring ourselves… For fully utilizing the avatar we are living our life through…
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Whatever is not really working as you’d like in your life, put it through this lens and see if you get a different awareness as to what needs shifting, realigning, coming online, and so on…
See where you are developmentally. See where you are lopsided. See where you need to focus more attention. See how to embrace and cultivate your inherent side more. See how to support and give to yourself what your inherent energy needs… See how to fully honor all of yourself…
See how to support your partner in doing this for themselves, or just in supporting all parts of them… See how to give your partner’s inherent energy what it needs more.
See how to polarize to invite your partner’s polarity to come out to play…
As you experiment and tend to this, you’ll automatically start creating changes in your programs, patterns, and dynamics. Pay attention to how you are experiencing yourself and your world differently, and how everything and everyone start to respond differently to you… Enjoy!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
There is a reason why our relationship seems to have lost the fizzle, or when we find that we are getting on each other’s nerves, bickering, or fighting more. When we feel stuck. Partners might attribute different reasons to this, and they might be very valid. But there is usually an underlaying reason that when tapped into and addressed, creates massive shifts for the partners, the relationship, AND their lives…
Today’s reason might seem illusive or abstract, but regardless, when partners play with this concept they are rewarded for their investment.
We are talking about fully owning all aspects of ourselves… But specifically to today’s topic, to owning both our masculine and our feminine aspects, characteristics, traits, energies… Because of social conditioning and the current way of things in our still very patriarchal society, we have oppressed our feminine side… Most of us are a lot more comfortable with our masculine traits, embracing and leading with them and judge, put down, or disown our feminine ones…
This leaves us operating with less than our full selves, and for those of us who are inherently more feminine and suppress those aspects end up really operating at a lower capacity. When we don’t own or utilize the greater part of ourselves, we experience mental and physical illness along with creating unnecessary friction and discomfort in our relationship.
If we are showing up with our masculine, what is our masculine partner to do? And I’m not talking about gender… Opposite energies attract, and when the more inherently masculine partner is met with their partner showing up with their own masculine, when the unspoken agreement is that they are to show up more with their inherent feminine, they are at a loss for how to show up. This leaves the inherently more feminine partner desiring their partner to show up more in their masculine, but of course they can’t because the role is already filled. Or they do, and problems arise… As you have two masculine energies trying to have a romantic relationship…
Similarly for the inherently masculine partner, they are limited in using their masculine because their partner might be showing up with it, and their feminine is also oppressed…
A conundrum for the couple indeed and a terribly disempowering situation for partners…
We are not saying that it’s a No No for the more feminine partners to use their masculine traits. For that would mean over compensating the other way and inviting a host of other issues…
Again, we all have both energies to varying degrees and our job is to own them fully so we are whole, enabling us to have our better human experience…
The key is to integrate the traits, energies within ourselves and to learn to intentionally use them in different contexts for better outcomes…
Additionally, in the context of our romantic relationship, when we polarize, we generate the spark we desire as opposites attract…
Playing at integrating the traits within ourselves and at creating a dance with our partner’s allows us to really manifest all we desire and become our most radiant selves.
First things first – recognize what traits you lead with and which you are oppressing…
Secondly – start owning and using all of your traits more…
Thirdly – support your partner in using all of their traits, especially their inherently opposite ones…
As a result of these qualities, each energy has different needs:
~ The Masculine needs appreciation, freedom, purpose
~ The Feminine needs attention, security, nourishing
When we start owning all of our characteristics and finding the balance between them for ourselves, we become whole and more vibrant. We are in our glory.
When the more integrated partners meet and complement in the interaction with their polarities that’s where the magic happens. This is when the union feels sacred…
Give it a shot, start owning and polarizing your traits more, and see how things start shifting immediately in your interactions and overall in your relationship and in your life…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Ah summertime… What is summertime if not a time for repose and realignment? What about a time to heal, evolve, expand? What about a time to reconnect with our partner and reset our relationship? What about a time to uplevel our life through some couple fun?
Anything goes, really, as long as we are intentional and investing in creating the relationship and life we love…
A softer approach to our relationship helps turn things around and enrich our relationship… Are you familiar with the concept of having a softer life? Well, here I extrapolate that concept and apply it to our relationship. A Softer Relationship™ is one that allows for more ease, harmony, joy, connection and love…
In today’s video, I cover the 5 Key Tactics to help us embrace a Softer Relationship™. I talk about Making Assumptions, Assigning Motives, Giving Grace, Giving Appreciations, and Delighting Our Partner… These are tactics that when embraced they remove the layer that creates drama, disturbances, and disconnect in our relationship. They help the partner create more authenticity, vulnerability, availability, safety and so much more. Enjoy!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Oftentimes we have unknowingly succumbed to bondage in different areas of our life… Whether it’s through different institutions, social norms, golden cuffs, big pharma, or codependent dynamics in our relationship/s to name a few… Instead of owning our power, our voice, our differences, our uniqueness, our gifts, our inherent worthiness, we take our birth right freedom for granted…
I know this can be considered easy to say when coming from a position of privilege, but my intention is to support all not taking for granted that some might not be as privileged. Please take what fits your life and that resonates for you, and what you can use to assist others not as privileged… The assumption is that if you are reading this you are pretty privileged and so this applies to you…
I’d like us to take stock of our life and what we chooseto subscribe to, belong to, put up with, go along with, support and encourage, do by default, or engage in unconsciously that perpetuates our bondage… That keeps us from who we truly are. And stuck in places and situations that don’t honor us or help us create the wellbeing and happiness we crave, the relationship/s that light up our heart, and the life we love…
The range of our bondage is large and wide from the career and job situations we are in, religious and political perspectives, parenting tactics, financial decisions, lifestyle choices, health and wellness approach, how we relate to our partner and everything else in our life…
Take a moment to review these and other areas that are important to you and see what hold they have on you. How do they keep you stuck and not living your life to its fullest potential- are you the best version of you having your best human experience? How or where do you feel constrained, limited, oppressed, subjugated, exploited, devalued, unappreciated, stymied, trapped, with no recourse or no other options, and the like?
If you find that you can’t think of much here, I implore you to dig deeper… This is pretty pervasive in our culture and human species. We’ve set up a system that enslaves us to survive… Be careful to not dismiss this right off the cuff- even if you are privileged you have your own versions of being subjugated… Look for things that keep you where you are… How much freedom are you exercising in your life?
This brings me to today’s podcast episode where I have a conversation with Dr. Serena Goldstein, a Naturopath, to address how to support ourselves on our Hormonal Journey and wellness throughout our lifespan. We showcase the choices we might make that might not be in our best interest at the end of the day and perpetuate our bondage in this life…
We have a rich conversation covering: Identifying symptoms that might indicate a hormonal imbalance that just add unnecessary challenges to our life, what testing one might need to help identify these for proper treatment, how to use life rhythms and lifestyle to address imbalances and promote health, and what might be needed to smoothly sail through different life stages while taking personality, relationship dynamics and energetics into consideration… Hope you enjoy it!
Get our FREE 1-pg downloadable 30-Day Challenges Ideas List to help reinforce your power of choice- decondition and unravel egoic patterns keeping you stuck in bondage…
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Wishful thinking or dreaming are a fabulous way to start any journey. But in and of themselves they don’t create the changes you are seeking. We might want to improve our happiness, our wellness, our health, our vitality, our fitness, our looks. Or we might want to improve the relationship with our partner, our relationship mindset, our communication, our dynamics, our connection, our intimacy, our partnership, our lifestyle, our parenting, our legacy. Or we might want to improve our service, our creativity, our productivity, our impact, our income or revenue. To manifest any of these things we require more than just dreaming…
To create anything in our life, a good doze of dreaming is required first and then a good doze of meaningful action to materialize it into our reality. Now this doesn’t mean grinding mind you! Long gone are the days where the grind actually created the results we desire… Have you noticed that the more you work doesn’t necessarily give you more or better outcomes…?
The key here is to focus on what it is we are trying to create and home in so that practice makes progress… We want to take inspired and leveraged action… We want to focus on the things that move the needle and make a difference, with gentleness, compassion, and ease…
So regardless of we want to improve, a concerted investment yields the best returns…
We can work directly on the thing, or we can work on the thing that holds us back when the direct work doesn’t seem to be doing it…Either way this can be boiled down to actions, simple practices, tactics, or habits that support our goals and desires. That helps us deprogram and heal, and decondition and grow… We drill in for the most return…
We can go really micro or esoteric on these knowing that a little tweak can crack the code. A different perspective, approach, or application can be just the thing to unravel the mysteries holding you back… One turn can open into a whole different panoramic view, a whole new reality…
We don’t need to work too hard, do all the things, stay subscribed to the grind… It’s time to intentionally, mindfully, and intelligently apply ourselves to our life to create the life the love…
In today’s episode I’m excited to have a conversation with Angela Mazza, a holistic health coach, who brings awareness to how different habitual patterns, not just behavioral but also emotional and relational, can have an impact on our health and wellbeing. We discussed how not having a voice, being a people pleaser, prioritizing others first, having low self-esteem or a sense of unworthiness, being a workaholic, a perfectionist, a type-A personality, and so forth can all take a toll… I very much enjoyed this conversation as it connects so nicely with the depatterning work we’ve been doing. Hope you enjoy it too!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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