Wishful thinking or dreaming are a fabulous way to start any journey. But in and of themselves they don’t create the changes you are seeking. We might want to improve our happiness, our wellness, our health, our vitality, our fitness, our looks. Or we might want to improve the relationship with our partner, our relationship mindset, our communication, our dynamics, our connection, our intimacy, our partnership, our lifestyle, our parenting, our legacy. Or we might want to improve our service, our creativity, our productivity, our impact, our income or revenue. To manifest any of these things we require more than just dreaming…
To create anything in our life, a good doze of dreaming is required first and then a good doze of meaningful action to materialize it into our reality. Now this doesn’t mean grinding mind you! Long gone are the days where the grind actually created the results we desire… Have you noticed that the more you work doesn’t necessarily give you more or better outcomes…?
The key here is to focus on what it is we are trying to create and home in so that practice makes progress… We want to take inspired and leveraged action… We want to focus on the things that move the needle and make a difference, with gentleness, compassion, and ease…
So regardless of we want to improve, a concerted investment yields the best returns…
We can work directly on the thing, or we can work on the thing that holds us back when the direct work doesn’t seem to be doing it…Either way this can be boiled down to actions, simple practices, tactics, or habits that support our goals and desires. That helps us deprogram and heal, and decondition and grow… We drill in for the most return…
We can go really micro or esoteric on these knowing that a little tweak can crack the code. A different perspective, approach, or application can be just the thing to unravel the mysteries holding you back… One turn can open into a whole different panoramic view, a whole new reality…
We don’t need to work too hard, do all the things, stay subscribed to the grind… It’s time to intentionally, mindfully, and intelligently apply ourselves to our life to create the life the love…
In today’s episode I’m excited to have a conversation with Angela Mazza, a holistic health coach, who brings awareness to how different habitual patterns, not just behavioral but also emotional and relational, can have an impact on our health and wellbeing. We discussed how not having a voice, being a people pleaser, prioritizing others first, having low self-esteem or a sense of unworthiness, being a workaholic, a perfectionist, a type-A personality, and so forth can all take a toll… I very much enjoyed this conversation as it connects so nicely with the depatterning work we’ve been doing. Hope you enjoy it too!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Are you finding this time of year challenging as the school year wraps up and as we start transitioning into the Summer months? There is so much that goes into this transition that people are feeling more stretched than usual… And this weekend is also Father’s Day… There is no lack of things to celebrate. This is when it’s important for us to take a step back and assess the quality of our life and relationship. How are we doing, how are we showing up to our relationships, how are we showing up for ourselves, are we creating the life we love?
Busy and transition times give us a clue as to how we are doing… They are great opportunities to take stock and reassess how we do everything- from celebrations, to relaxation, to health and wellness, to love making, and everything in between…
Times of transition are amazing opportunities for us to assess, reset and forge forward in a new way. In June I love to play with 30-Day Challenges to help with this. It’s a wonderful tool to play with deprogramming (deconditioning) and depatterning (undermining our egoic patterns, our defensive patterns) freeing ourselves from the boxes we are used to living and relating in…
Challenges help us embrace new habits, do pattern interruptions, and provide structure that serve as healing and evolutionary mechanisms…
When we choose a 30-Day Challenge for this purpose, we can consider different things to help us hone into a habit we want to play with in the challenge.
~ Lack is driven by believing we are separate and not whole, which leads to sadness, grief, loneliness, aloneness, hopelessness, depression and so on which lead to focusing on fairness and double standards, judging imperfections, self-numbing [flight response…]
~ Attachments are driving by believing we need certainty and certain outcomes which leads to let down, disappointment, resentment, frustration, anger and so on which lead to demanding apologies, owning the other, and getting stuck on expectations [fight response…]
~ Control is driven by believing that we have to make things happen and have to do all the doing which leads to fear, stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, anxiety and so on which lead to over-functioning, micromanaging, doing everything ourselves, not accepting help [freeze response…]
And, then think about how this pattern might impact things that you are trying to achieve, accomplish or create in your relationship and your life.
You might feel stuck in things like:
~ losing weight or getting fit ~ creating and sustaining connection with your partner or other loved ones ~ moving up in your career ~ growing your business ~ making, saving, growing, or keeping your money ~ creating a satisfying lifestyle ~ implementing a self-care routine ~ synchronized coparenting ~ or anything else in your life
You might experience that no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make any headways. You keep going back to the same old… That’s a sign that conditioning, programming, and patterning are holding you back…
The pattern and topic can inform the habit you choose to use in your Challenge to start dismantling the driving conditioning or programming… But at the end of the day, you can choose any habit or tactic for your Challenge as the challenge itself will work its magic…
Give it shot, you got nothing to lose and much to gain from this simple yet powerful tool. Hope you accept the challenge…
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Have you had the experience of wanting to change something in your life but seemingly no matter what you try it seems that you just can’t get the results you are looking for? I have seen this with health and wellness habits, productivity and success habits, and I hear this all the time when couples first come to see us for couples therapyabout creating changes in their relationship…
I find that partners think they try all kinds of things to make changes in their relationship without getting the outcome they are seeking. But even though they might try different things, what’s at the root, the driving mechanisms behind their efforts remain the same… So actually, not that much is being done differently at the end of the day… And they end up feeling stuck.
Their conditioning, programming, and patterning need to be addressed, what’s driving their dynamics, for change to actually happen, AND hold… This can be done in a lot of different ways and through a host of different modalities…
And, as we’ve been at the deconditioning thing for a bit now, I want to offer tackling this from a lighter place to make the work more fun…
Let’s get to some deconditioning with some Fathering- let’s embrace more structure, systems and routinesfor the security and discipline we need… But before you roll your eyes, as we are trying to get away from so much structure to begin with and make it more fun, let me share that we won’t be over doing it to where we stifle ourselves and it will be fun…
What we want to do is give ourselves the container of a structure so we can freely flow within it. Eh? More on this in upcoming issues. But for now, let’s focus on chipping away at programs that hold us back from what we want, even our attempt to be more disciplined…
How? Let’s play with the idea of pattern interruption and make it fun- let’s implement habits that counter our usual habitual (egoic) ways… That force our brain to repattern… Driving home a different way. Writing or brushing your teeth with your opposite from dominant hand. Sleeping on the other side of the bed, or sitting at a different place at the dinner table or couch. You get my drift.
In today’s podcast episode, I’m excited to have a conversation with Marvin Bee, a fellow podcaster about how to go about our own personal health journey. He focuses on removing unhealthy habits and all things not good for us in his approach to health and happiness…
Awesome ideas show up in our conversation that can be used for your 30-Day Challenge… Enjoy!
PSS: Do you need support taking yourself, your relationship, and your life to the next level- actually living a healthy, happy, harmonious and overall abundant life?
Copyright (c) 2024 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication? Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
We’ve done amazing work this month getting rid of the noise, creating spaciousness, revitalizing ourselves, and just refreshing for newness… When we clean up, when we create space, when we reorganize, when we get quiet, attuned, and inspired, then we are able to tap into new realms… We can tap into anything we want… The universe is the limit… Let’s discover the newness instore for you…
We can Discover newness only when we are ready for it… If we continue to have, do and be the same old, we’ll continue to create the same old… Make sure you have Refreshed for Newness:
This refreshing process has led us to Dreaming our big dreams… Now we can take the next step in making change happen. I’m sure you’ve already experienced some shifts as you created new energy and flow… Let’s now ride this momentum to mold and create what we desire… It is time to Discover the possibilities…
Dreams will stay just dreams if we don’t do anything about them…
It is our job to explore the possibilities and how to make them happen. But before we get to the how and the what, we must first explore the Why…
The Why is the inspiration, the motivator, the driver, the focus- it’s what keeps us going when it seems unplausible and impossible…
Doing the drudgery of our life, the minutiae and the everyday is mind numbing and tedious when there is nothing we are shooting for. We need a North Star to make even the most mundane meaningful… Our North Star is our Why, it is our creation, it is the reason for our Human Experience… This is what give our life meaning and makes it worth living!
So, what is your big dream? What’s the Why behind it?
Keep asking yourself why is that important. Once you have an answer, ask why is That important. Once you have an answer to that, now ask again why is That important. And, so on, a few times, until you get a deep and meaningful answer…
This is the Big Lens to keep on as you plan, organize, and go about your life. Have everything be informed by this…
What is Possible…
Now, you are ready to explore the possibilities and Discover the newness instore for you…
The environments – What’s décor, feel, brand? What purposes do they meet? What systems are included? What experiences do they inspire?
The everyday – What are your routines and habits? How will you show up? What parts of you are you owning, embracing, showcasing? How are you stretching and evolving?
The relationship/s – How are you treating others? How are you nurturing your relationships? How are you creating meaningful interactions? How are you enjoying your loved ones?
The achievements – What are you working towards? What are your strategies? What are your projects? Who are in your Teams?
The big picture – What kind of life do you want to live? What do you want to have accomplished at the end? What would have been an extraordinary life?
You see when we created spaciousness, cleaned up our ways and reorganized ourselves, we created opportunity… It is up to us to use the new energy and possibilities to create something new… We can create whatever we desire…
Watch the video for embracing this refresh and creating something new… Enjoy!
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
I’m sure you’ve heard a version of the saying that if you can see it, you can create it. Yes? What does this mean for you? Does this mean that the Elon Musks of the world get to have huge dreams and then make them happen allowing us to space travel and such? I say we own our own power a bit more and embrace what we can see, we can create also… How about it? Let’s dream and inspire your alternate reality…
Somewhere along the way we lost our ability to dream big… Hey, some lost their ability to dream period. We’ve been taught to be realistic, practical, and not to shoot for pies in the sky… I call that bullbleep!
Any real advancement in our society has come from dreaming. Any real achievements by people have come from their dreaming. Anything I have achieved in my life, including birthing and raising the loveliest of human beings, our daughter, has come from dreaming. I’m sure this is true for you- that anything that you have done you have dreamed first…
So, why then stop and settle for what we have created so far? If our imagination and our dreaming got us this far, it can take us even further… Why not? The Universe is literally the limit…
I say we take ourselves playfully seriously and embark in allowing ourselves to Dream again, to dream more, to dream bigger…
This is one of the qualities that makes us endearingly human… This is a quality that is necessary for our survival as a species and for our continued evolution. This is the same quality in each of us that allows us to have our Best Human Experience. This is the quality that will allow you to take your relationship and your life to the next level…
In our Refresh for Newness series this month, we have been getting ready to create our New Reality… We covered: Decluttering, Detoxing, and Deconstructing
Now we turn to Dreaming up our new reality for if we can see it, we can create it… Let’s envision our glorious Journey, let’s create our Life Vision, let’s connect with our Alternate Reality where our bigger dreams can come true…
Our Alternate Reality…
We are taking out the big guns now. LOL In the last post on Deconstructing, we started creating our new reality, but it was still reality based… We started breaking up what Is, and creating space for something new… We started creating something new… But now, I want us to challenge ourselves to take this a step further…
Why stay within the realm of what we know might be possible and shoot for just improving…? (And few don’t even allow themselves this luxury! UGH!) Why not go beyond that? Why not envision the best we can? Why not shoot for more, for much more…?
For example, why shoot for just getting along with your partner, having more intimacy, and creating a lovely lifestyle- when you can shoot for creating the strongest and greatest partnership ever and having an epic love affair with your partner. Where the everyday is just that, and we operate jointly at a higher level of creation, fulfillment, and enjoyment… See what I mean?
~ What would this strongest and greatest partnership ever with your partner look like? ~ What would this epic love affair with your partner look like?
This is when you start with a blank canvas, forget your history, your story, your dynamics, who you each have become in your relationship, who you think you each are, what you think your limitations are, etc., and start completely fresh… Start imagining your best relationship ever, with your partner, without any reservations…
This is a super powerful exercise that allows you to stretch into what is possible…
Do the same for the rest of your life. Think as big as you can for what you want your life to be… Watch out for those limiting beliefs and any reservations…
Just dream your Dream, full stop.
When you exercise the power of your imagination. When you stretch to visualize beyond the ordinary. When you embrace your courage to become your extraordinary self and create your extraordinary life. You do!
Give yourself the chance to create beyond what you’ve been creating… Give yourself the chance to take your whole entire life to the next level. Why not??
I say let’s start now. Don’t let fear get you. Don’t let doubt get you. Don’t let yourself get in your own way. You can become the next version of yourself and create your next level in your relationship and your life starting right now.
Just visualize your Best Life, in a vacuum… Yes, that’s the secret- start from scratch and dream your big dream…
Let your dreaming invite newness, create opportunities, open new possibilities, inspire you…
I’ll spare you the explanation of what your brain, psyche, relationship/s, the universe will do with this- just trust and play full out!
APPLICATION: Make a commitment to trust and allow, to be open to newness…
~ Set time to be with yourself and for going inward, to dream… ~ Let yourself relax and be in the moment, let go of responsibilities and shut out distractions. ~ Explore in your mind’s eye or with your imagination what you’d like your ideal, best, extraordinary life to be, look and feel like… Explore all areas of your life, including your relationship of course. ~ Imagine yourself in that life- what are you like, what do you look like, and how do you feel. What do you love about this life and how does that make you feel? ~ Sit with your newfound cocktail of feelings and bring those back with you upon completing this experience…
Capture in your Journal what stood out to you from your dreaming and visioning… What were the most prevalent feelings… Make it a point to feel the feeling you felt, regardless of your external experience…
Our best life starts inside ourselves…
We are cooking with gas now! We’ve decluttered, we’ve detoxed, we’ve deconstructed, we’ve dreamed… Stay tuned for making your dreams come true with next week’s post.
Wishing you all the joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
PS: Masterclasses
💐 If you missed our recent Masterclasses, you can still get them through our Member Center:
~ Creating a Self-Love Practice – Designing and implementing your personalized practice
~ Relationship Enrichment Mini Retreat – Reprogramming and shifting for connecting more deeply
They include gorgeous workbooks of transformational processes
💐 Not a member? No worries, join us with a Lifestyle Membership. This Membership includes access to our private community, full access to our Member Center and previous content, and access to upcoming Masterclasses at no additional cost, all for only $29 per month.
Copyright (c) 2022 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Want to Use this Article in Your Own Website or Publication?
Be our guest! Here is how, you MUST include: Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, she is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that assist couples succeed at their relationship and their life. Stay Connected™ with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with Personal Development and Relationship Enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com
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Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health profession in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of metrorelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. The work helps couples create a radiant and successful relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Relationship Strategy™.
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